Doing the right thing -- sometimes it can be hard. Sometimes lines don't seem so black and white, and many times they aren't. As a parent -- and especially as a parent of teenagers, it's really all you can do to teach them good morals and hope they remember what you've taught them since they are not likely to be under your supervision at all times.
My oldest, Keenan is 17. He is a senior this year and as the school year started last Fall he asked if he could take a road trip with a few of his buddies over Spring Break. I know that he's just a few short months away from "freedom", however I just didn't like the idea of the road trip. Lots of things could happen; they could break down in the middle of nowhere, they could run out of money, and of course you never know if they'll run into other sorts of trouble.
While I know I can't protect him from everything for the rest of his life, I do want to be able to do what I can while he's still a minor. I told him no, but that he could instead take the School-Sponsored/Chaperoned trip to California. In the name of Science, they would go to Wild Animal Park, Seaworld, Knotsberry Farm, California Adventures, Disneyland, and possibly swimming with the Dolphins should there be time. This was a great compromise and he and a bunch of his friends had soon signed up and began paying their installments.
Fast Forward.
He just returned from his California Spring-Break trip yesterday and told me about an encounter he had at one of the hotels. This particular Hotel had a swimming pool and a workout room with a huge picture window overlooking the pool. One night he, a buddy, another classmate and a foreign exchange student from school were in the workout room. An older man with an accent, poked his head in and tells the kids he's got beer and weed in his room and would they like to come join him for some "fun"? Keenan's buddy was shocked and sort of shook his head 'no' while Keenan calmly replied, "Nah... I don't drink or do drugs, but thanks anyway." The man said something to the effect of, "Well, I'm from Canada, so it's inevitable I do these things." (Whatever THAT's supposed to mean.) To Keenan's surprise, the other guy and the exchange student agreed to follow this guy to his room.
Keenan could see through the window that the man had approached several other of his classmates in the pool area, offering them the same "fun". Some followed. Most did not.
I'm not sure how many minutes passed by, but it was enough time for a myriad of thoughts to quickly pass through Keenan's mind. Why would a GROWN MAN be inviting a bunch of High School kids to his room? That just doesn't seem right; what is he getting out of it? The legal drinking age in [the exchange student's] country is 16 and they have a "non-enforcement" policy on weed, so it's likely this particular exchange student has tried both back home. However, she isn't at home. She is in a completely different country and has just entered the room of a completely strange man in a completely new town. And while Keenan thought those kids were foolish to follow that guy, because if they got caught it could mean suspension from school, the deciding factor was this. If I do nothing and something bad ends up happening to them, I will feel awful; especially about the girl.
So, Keenan and his buddy went back to their room, grabbed a few of their other guy friends and headed down to the Canadian's room. Keenan wasn't exactly sure what he would say to convince them to leave, but he felt he had to say something. He didn't want to come across as self-righteous or anything either, because even if his intentions are good, teenagers don't always have rational thinking and not all of them might see it his way.
He knocked on the door of the room and the buzzed Canadian opened it and invited them in. Keenan saw the girl and a handful of other classmates. Standing in the doorway he suddenly announced the chaperones were getting ready to make their "room checks" and that they should all head back to their rooms quickly. (Even though it wasn't curfew yet, the chaperones had a habit of doing "room checks" 20-30 minutes early each night, just to see where everyone was, who was at the pool or the game room, etc.)
Perhaps there was a student there who thought Keenan was ruining their party. But I would bet there may have been one or two in the room that were hoping for an excuse to leave, which Keenan provided. I am glad he did the right thing and felt the need to "help" some of his peers get out of a bad situation. It's not always easy to say no to something that's being offered right in front of you, and curiosity may even be enough enticement.
I feel very blessed that Keenan is confidant in his own skin and that he has enough integrity to say "no" even in the midst of his peers.
Way to go, Son! You sure know how to make a mama proud!
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teens. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
News Flash: Some Girls are Dramatic
So my 17 year-old son just "informed" me there are some teenage girls who are a little dramatic.
Um.... ya think?
Um.... ya think?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Notes From an Imperfect Mother
Sometimes I'd like to think I am the perfect mom and that I have perfect children who only listen and obey and treat each other with love and kindness, always. But, I'm not, and they don't. And I know that is not realistic anyway. I also know that life lessons are mostly learned through experience and that part of the learning process occurs through our mistakes of living our not-so-perfectly-perfect lives.
That being said, it still doesn't bring me comfort when one of my children is not nice to another. I am used to kids picking at each other or antagonizing each other once in a while. I am sure I participated in that sort of behavior plenty of times on my own while growing up. Overall, my kids are good kids and get along well and don't do stuff like this all the time (although enough for me to know they are definitely siblings!).
But recently, one of them did do something to another that was more than just irritating or agitating. It was just plain mean. This really affected me, and I cry just thinking about it. First of all I was shocked that this child would do that. Second of all, I was saddened because I could see the potential harm it could have caused. This could have had serious life-long-lasting effects. And there still may be a little backlash. The action was done with a "spirit of revenge". This is probably what upset me the most. We are not a family of "revenge". I don't condone seeking revenge. If someone harms me, 90% of the time I can just let it go. 9% of the time, I cry about it and then let it go. And probably 1% of the time I vent about it, then cry about it and then let it go. But I am not one who likes confrontation. In fact, just the thought of it sends me into anxiety mode. So it is easier for me to let it go.
I can't figure out why my child would take something to the extreme like this. But, I have to remind myself something my counselor told me once. Our brains are not fully developed until approximately age 25, and therefore we do not have complete rational thinking until about then. So, in reality when someone says, "I was young and stupid", they are in essence correct.
Ok. So, I get all of that. The struggle I am having is how to DEAL with this sort of behavior. I definitely don't condone a spirit of revenge. I try to teach Christ-like principles, including "Turn the other cheek". I have to admit, this whole episode has sort of left me feeling like I have fallen a bit short as a mother.
Have any of you ever dealt with your kids who weren't always nice to each other? What did you do? How did you handle it? Did they ever grow out of it?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Illegal Activity
Apparently, it's "illegal" to take a photograph of court proceedings in my small town "municipal" court. I really don't believe that, though. I mean what about the press? They take pics all the time. But... that's what the judge told me.
Oh well, at least I was respectful enough to ask his permission first. When he asked why I wanted to take the picture, I explained it was so I could blog about my son's first ticket. He didn't get it. Meh~ I let it go. No biggie...
...even though secretly I just think the judge was having a bad comb-over day and didn't want his picture taken. By the way, that's a little redundant, isn't it?..... "bad comb-over"...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
"It's in the Boofa!"
Recap of last night.
Arrived home from school, after acing my exam, which I will post more about tomorrow. Sent texts to summon children home. Younger two are dropped off by their faddah. Oldest one does not reply.
Sent second summoning to oldest. Does not reply. Second summoning soon followed by threat, which induces a response of, "Sorry. Had to retrieve my cell phone from [the girl's] sofa. Be right home."
Me. Thinking of 1 Million and 1 ways his phone could have gotten "lost" in her sofa. None of them good, mind you.
Oy.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Who's On First?
Sorry the sound didn't come through on the video yesterday. If I wasn't so swamped with classes and work, I would have had time to redo. Anyway... you get the idea. So she asked him to the Sadie Hawkin's dance last weekend. He said yes.
They were supposed to wear Halloween costumes. He and his friends and their dates decided to go as the opposite sex. But not just any opposite sex mind you. For some reason my son turned into some trampy girl (but actually came off looking as some trashy tranny, lol!) and his friend decided to go as Pocahontas or Hiawatha or something. The girls decided to just be dudes.
I don't know whether to be amused or scared... It's just that they looked like they were enjoying it a little tooooooooo much. Oh - and these are the pics I snagged from The Girl's mom (thanks Amy!).
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
She Asked...
Even though I have lived out here in the West for 13 1/2 years now, I am still learning about the culture here. I am not sure if this is a "Utah" thing or a "Western" thing or what. But apparently, when high schoolers ask each other to dances out here, there is a formality to it.
The Girl and her sister and best friend filled my front room with balloons containing slips of paper. He had to pop all of them in order to find the one with the question, "Will you go to Sadie's with me?" The other notes were inside jokes and "keep going" type of stuff.
I should start off by first saying that when I was in high school a dance was a dance was a dance. Dances could be clarified as "just a dance", or "semi-formal" (like the Winter dance) or "formal" (like Prom). But out HERE, they refer to casual dances as "stomps" while "dances" usually hold some sort of formality to it, like homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Prom, etc.
Let me explain what I mean by "Formality". Apparently, it's a BIG deal on HOW you ask the person you want to take to the dance. And then it's a BIG deal on how the proposee replies to the proposer. I know... it makes my head spin too. Seems like an awful lot of pressure in high school. And I worry about the guys that go through all of the hype of asking the girl out and then gets rejected. Rejection is hard enough without having to come up with the formality of popping the question. Nonetheless, it's just the way it is here, and I suppose rejection is all a part of growing up, isn't it? And I suppose most teens don't ask someone unless they are pretty certain they'll get a "yes" response.
When my son asked his date to homecoming a few months back, he was in his car and saw her walking. He basically stuck his head out of the window and said, "Hey. So, you wanna go to homecoming with me?" And her reply was a simple and sweet, "sure." Simple. Sweet. But then again, he was raised by a Hoosier who wasn't up to snuff on the whole gotta-do-a-big-proposal-for-the-dance ceremony. In a way, it sort of seems archaic to me too. But I can also see how fun and creative it can be, especially once you get in proposal mode.
Okay, so now on to the title of the post. The Sadie Hawkins dance. This is a dance our local high school does typically around Halloween. The students go dressed in costume. (When I was a teen, "Sadie Hawkins" WAS the costume!) Anyway, this dance is girl-ask-guy (some schools call this MORP - backwards PROM).
This is how The Girl asked FunnyMan...
The Girl and her sister and best friend filled my front room with balloons containing slips of paper. He had to pop all of them in order to find the one with the question, "Will you go to Sadie's with me?" The other notes were inside jokes and "keep going" type of stuff.When he got home from work later that night, he was like a little kid in a ball-pit...
So his answer? Well, you'll have to come back tomorrow for that! :)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It's Official...
FunnyMan now has his driver's license!!!
As a mother, THESE make me a li'l nervous...
...especially because I KNOW there are drivers out there with THIS sort of mentality...
But, just like my parents, whom cut the apron strings loose, so must I. More prayers, more faith, and a little more Prozac oughta do the trick... right?
As a mother, THESE make me a li'l nervous...
And before getting behind the wheel, I wish I could send him out like this...
...especially because I KNOW there are drivers out there with THIS sort of mentality...
But, just like my parents, whom cut the apron strings loose, so must I. More prayers, more faith, and a little more Prozac oughta do the trick... right? 
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday with Mary Margaret
So recently I won a goody package over at {{Kaye Kaye's Blog}} and scored all of this:
1) He has to be a good person...doesn't matter if he is fat or ugly, tall or short. It only matters for who he is.
2) NEVER let a guy say you need to lose weight. And if he doesn't like you for who you are, he is no good.
3) Never EVER let him say perverted things to you or your parents or about them. It's just so wrong; he is no good.
4) The best kind of birth control is to put an aspirin between your knees and hold it.
5) If you find out he's cheating, he is no good.
6) Guys should ALWAYS pay so you won't be broke.
7) Make SURE you got a guy that brushes his teeth.
8) Slow dancing is a plus :)
9) CUTE! (wait... what happened to #1? tee hee)
10) Funny -- he must be worth hanging out with! =D
Love you!
Mary Margaret
Quite frankly, I think she's got this nailed down, don't ya think? Kaye Kaye, you've done a great job with her! Thanks again for the goodies!!! :)
How cool is that?!?!?! (by the way, check out the upper left corner of the magazine... Yes. Yes she totally DID accidentally mail me her key FOB! hahaha!)
BUT... here is the thing I cherish the most from the package:
Yep... it's a letter from Butler Manor's very own teenager Mary Margaret. To her I am the crazy, funny lady that blogs. This child, knowing that I have been through heartache a time or two, sent me a list of her "Rules for Dating". Seriously, this chica could have her own talk show; totally cracks me up.
Please fasten your seatbelts and keep all hands and legs inside until this ride has come to a complete stop. Here we go....!
Mary Margaret's Rules for Dating:
1) He has to be a good person...doesn't matter if he is fat or ugly, tall or short. It only matters for who he is.
2) NEVER let a guy say you need to lose weight. And if he doesn't like you for who you are, he is no good.
3) Never EVER let him say perverted things to you or your parents or about them. It's just so wrong; he is no good.
4) The best kind of birth control is to put an aspirin between your knees and hold it.
5) If you find out he's cheating, he is no good.
6) Guys should ALWAYS pay so you won't be broke.
7) Make SURE you got a guy that brushes his teeth.
8) Slow dancing is a plus :)
9) CUTE! (wait... what happened to #1? tee hee)
10) Funny -- he must be worth hanging out with! =D
Love you!
Mary Margaret
Quite frankly, I think she's got this nailed down, don't ya think? Kaye Kaye, you've done a great job with her! Thanks again for the goodies!!! :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Come Back, FriendGirl... Come Back.
Ok - so for the long-haul followers, you remember The Friend Girl... the puppy-love crush FunnyMan had. Well, he was too young to date or have a "Girlfriend" so we called her "The FriendGirl". What can I say? I liked her. I mean I REALLY liked her.
They "fit". They are soooo similar. They both love writing. They both love writing poetry. They both can laugh at themselves and do crazy stuff and dress how they feel comfortable without worrying about fashion or what's cool or not cool. They both love music and the arts. They had good -- really good conversations. And they both had standards. They are both good kids and pretty much stay out of trouble. He'd go hang out with her family; she'd hang out with us. True, she was a bit more emotional -- but she's a teenage girl!!! She is supposed to be, right? Plus she is a smart girl with goals - and not like chasing butterfly goals... like REAL goals.
He liked being with her and being around her. He enjoyed her company, and his spirits were always up when she was around. He hated it if someone picked on her; and he'd come to her defense. It was cute.
But then... she went away... Well, not really. It's just that in the Fall, they started their sophomore year at different high schools. Then she turned 16 shortly thereafter and could start dating. Maybe that's it -- maybe she wanted to date for *real*, not this puppy-love business. Which, I understand. I mean, I think it is good for her. And they still talked and hung out, sort of.
Then I went off for my Menaissance weekend. One night while out of town, I get a text from FunnyMan. "Mom... hope you're having fun. Be safe." I was like, "Wha-?" Something wasn't right. This wasn't like him. I called.
ME: What are you doing?
FunnyMan: Sitting in the car.
ME: Why?
FM: I just want to be alone.
ME: Why? What happened.
FM: Nothing.
ME: Are you sure?
FM: yup.
ME: You're sitting in a car at 9:30pm on a Friday night just because you wanna be alone?
FM: Uh-huh.
ME: Anything you wanna talk about?
FM: Nope.
ME: Ok...well...um... you should go inside now.
FM: okay...
My heart broke just a smidge for him. I am not sure what happened... but I know it had something to do with the FriendGirl. And when I came back... there was no more Friend Girl. No more pigtails. No more big eyes with that glimmer of sparkle. No more wide grins and contagious laughter. And he wasn't upbeat as normal. I think he went through a little depression. No more being "funny" all the time. No more enthusiasm for school or his grades. And other girls have crushed on him, and made it no secret, and he has no interest whatsoever.
Could heartache over a first love impact a 15 year old so? I wondered. Then, I remembered my first love... which wasn't hard to recall since I had just spent time with him at my Menaissance! Yes... a first-love-turned-heartache *can* crush you. My first love still has a piece of my heart. And at age 35, I was still twitterpated when I saw him again sixteen years later.
So, as a Mother, I know I should **butt out**. But also as a Mother, I want to see my son be happy. I know that there might, possibly, probably be another "FriendGirl" one day. But for now... why can't she just COME BACK???
I know... I probably care way too much. I need to let my little birdie fly solo on this one, eh?
They "fit". They are soooo similar. They both love writing. They both love writing poetry. They both can laugh at themselves and do crazy stuff and dress how they feel comfortable without worrying about fashion or what's cool or not cool. They both love music and the arts. They had good -- really good conversations. And they both had standards. They are both good kids and pretty much stay out of trouble. He'd go hang out with her family; she'd hang out with us. True, she was a bit more emotional -- but she's a teenage girl!!! She is supposed to be, right? Plus she is a smart girl with goals - and not like chasing butterfly goals... like REAL goals.
He liked being with her and being around her. He enjoyed her company, and his spirits were always up when she was around. He hated it if someone picked on her; and he'd come to her defense. It was cute.
But then... she went away... Well, not really. It's just that in the Fall, they started their sophomore year at different high schools. Then she turned 16 shortly thereafter and could start dating. Maybe that's it -- maybe she wanted to date for *real*, not this puppy-love business. Which, I understand. I mean, I think it is good for her. And they still talked and hung out, sort of.
Then I went off for my Menaissance weekend. One night while out of town, I get a text from FunnyMan. "Mom... hope you're having fun. Be safe." I was like, "Wha-?" Something wasn't right. This wasn't like him. I called.
ME: What are you doing?
FunnyMan: Sitting in the car.
ME: Why?
FM: I just want to be alone.
ME: Why? What happened.
FM: Nothing.
ME: Are you sure?
FM: yup.
ME: You're sitting in a car at 9:30pm on a Friday night just because you wanna be alone?
FM: Uh-huh.
ME: Anything you wanna talk about?
FM: Nope.
ME: Ok...well...um... you should go inside now.
FM: okay...
My heart broke just a smidge for him. I am not sure what happened... but I know it had something to do with the FriendGirl. And when I came back... there was no more Friend Girl. No more pigtails. No more big eyes with that glimmer of sparkle. No more wide grins and contagious laughter. And he wasn't upbeat as normal. I think he went through a little depression. No more being "funny" all the time. No more enthusiasm for school or his grades. And other girls have crushed on him, and made it no secret, and he has no interest whatsoever.
Could heartache over a first love impact a 15 year old so? I wondered. Then, I remembered my first love... which wasn't hard to recall since I had just spent time with him at my Menaissance! Yes... a first-love-turned-heartache *can* crush you. My first love still has a piece of my heart. And at age 35, I was still twitterpated when I saw him again sixteen years later.
So, as a Mother, I know I should **butt out**. But also as a Mother, I want to see my son be happy. I know that there might, possibly, probably be another "FriendGirl" one day. But for now... why can't she just COME BACK???
I know... I probably care way too much. I need to let my little birdie fly solo on this one, eh?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Sunday Sentiments: Satan
In honor of Superbowl today, I wanna first give a little shout-out to my boyz, Peyton & Collie! Go Colts!
____________
Some of us are ready for the challenge, while others of us are still seated in the stands, spectating. Nonetheless, we are rooting for someone; either God or Satan.
When I think about the choices in my life or the temptations I may face, it helps for me to think of it in this perspective. Some choices are choices between two goods. Neither one will cost the team, and both may have a positive outcome. Other choices are choices whether or not to give in to temptation. The temptation may be blatant, and yet the temptation may simply be a temptation not to do something I should be doing. Either way, if we give in to the worldly man, we have just enabled Satan's team a little more.
When I look at our youth today, it is evident that Satan has his grasp on so many of them. Not all, but many. Just because we are adults, does not mean we can escape from the plays that Satan is running against us. This is where the Lord needs every one of us on His side. He needs us to run interference against Satan. And, unlike Football, the Lord would rather have zero spectators if that meant every one of us were on the field, fighting in the battle for good vs. evil.
One example of this I can think of recently, is our early morning Scripture study. Do I think it is important for our family to read the scriptures together? Yes. Do I think it is beneficial for us to start off each day with them? Yes. In fact, I think it is imperative. However, last summer, kids stayed up late and slept in. When school started back up for them, it also started for me. My first semester back was a big adjustment. I had stressful days and stressful nights. It was all I could do to get up and get ready for my full time job on time, let alone scripture study. Therefore, our family scriptures fell to the way side. A few times I thought about trying to do it at night. But many times, I was still in the thick of a homework assignment, or the oldest would be at play practice till late. So, it never worked out. But then, I sort of had this epiphany... more like a daydream, if you will.
I was thinking one day, what if down the road, one, or two, or heaven forbid, all of my kids fall away from the gospel? What if I had to answer to the Lord. And what if the questioning went something like this:
God: Aren't your children important to you?
Me: Of course!
God: Didn't you want them to succeed?
Me: Absolutely!
God: Did you love them enough to want them to live the gospel?
Me: Without a shadow of a doubt!
God: Are you willing to do whatever it takes, to help save them?
Me: Yes!
God: Then why didn't you act like it when you had the chance -- when they were in your stewardship?
Me: ~dumbfounded pause~
I had that big "what if" moment and truly had to ask myself, am I doing all that *I* can to help my children run interference against Satan? Am I helping them put on the whole armor of God before they leave my house each morning? I couldn't answer that with the resounding "yes" that I so desperately wanted to. I knew that no matter what this semester, as much as I did not want to fail my classes, I did not want to fail my children.
We have been getting up each morning to read our scriptures. We each take turn reading 3 verses (so LittleDuckling doesn't fall asleep) and it actually takes a lot less time than I always think it's going to.
True, many nights I am still writing essays or reading for my own homework until well past midnight. Getting to bed between 1:30 and 3 seems to be normal for me. And true, when the alarm clock sounds a extra 30 minutes early, I want to shut it off and stay in the warmth of my covers in the comfort of my bed. However, there is one sentence I tell myself every morning that makes my decision that much easier.
Satan wants you to stay in bed.
When that alarm goes off, I say to myself, "I don't wanna get up right now." And usually, my next thought is, "and neither does Satan." It is at that moment, I know that I have to get up and get my children up. They are groggy. They are cold. They are sleepy. But we read and they do not complain.
And I know that as a mom, I still have so much more to improve on. I still have so much more to learn. But I want to be able to look my maker in the eye one day and say, "Lord, I tried." I want Him to know that I just didn't sit back and spectate, but that I took the risk of fumbling a few times. And though I didn't win every game, in the grand scheme of things, and in the big SuperBowl of Saints, I fought for the right side; the Lord's side.
____________
There are really two teams; The Lord's Side and Satan's. I believe that even those who don't believe in God are playing for one of two teams, they just don't realize it :) In general, all that is good is of God.
Some of us are ready for the challenge, while others of us are still seated in the stands, spectating. Nonetheless, we are rooting for someone; either God or Satan.
When I think about the choices in my life or the temptations I may face, it helps for me to think of it in this perspective. Some choices are choices between two goods. Neither one will cost the team, and both may have a positive outcome. Other choices are choices whether or not to give in to temptation. The temptation may be blatant, and yet the temptation may simply be a temptation not to do something I should be doing. Either way, if we give in to the worldly man, we have just enabled Satan's team a little more.
When I look at our youth today, it is evident that Satan has his grasp on so many of them. Not all, but many. Just because we are adults, does not mean we can escape from the plays that Satan is running against us. This is where the Lord needs every one of us on His side. He needs us to run interference against Satan. And, unlike Football, the Lord would rather have zero spectators if that meant every one of us were on the field, fighting in the battle for good vs. evil.
One example of this I can think of recently, is our early morning Scripture study. Do I think it is important for our family to read the scriptures together? Yes. Do I think it is beneficial for us to start off each day with them? Yes. In fact, I think it is imperative. However, last summer, kids stayed up late and slept in. When school started back up for them, it also started for me. My first semester back was a big adjustment. I had stressful days and stressful nights. It was all I could do to get up and get ready for my full time job on time, let alone scripture study. Therefore, our family scriptures fell to the way side. A few times I thought about trying to do it at night. But many times, I was still in the thick of a homework assignment, or the oldest would be at play practice till late. So, it never worked out. But then, I sort of had this epiphany... more like a daydream, if you will.
I was thinking one day, what if down the road, one, or two, or heaven forbid, all of my kids fall away from the gospel? What if I had to answer to the Lord. And what if the questioning went something like this:
God: Aren't your children important to you?
Me: Of course!
God: Didn't you want them to succeed?
Me: Absolutely!
God: Did you love them enough to want them to live the gospel?
Me: Without a shadow of a doubt!
God: Are you willing to do whatever it takes, to help save them?
Me: Yes!
God: Then why didn't you act like it when you had the chance -- when they were in your stewardship?
Me: ~dumbfounded pause~
I had that big "what if" moment and truly had to ask myself, am I doing all that *I* can to help my children run interference against Satan? Am I helping them put on the whole armor of God before they leave my house each morning? I couldn't answer that with the resounding "yes" that I so desperately wanted to. I knew that no matter what this semester, as much as I did not want to fail my classes, I did not want to fail my children.
We have been getting up each morning to read our scriptures. We each take turn reading 3 verses (so LittleDuckling doesn't fall asleep) and it actually takes a lot less time than I always think it's going to.
True, many nights I am still writing essays or reading for my own homework until well past midnight. Getting to bed between 1:30 and 3 seems to be normal for me. And true, when the alarm clock sounds a extra 30 minutes early, I want to shut it off and stay in the warmth of my covers in the comfort of my bed. However, there is one sentence I tell myself every morning that makes my decision that much easier.
Satan wants you to stay in bed.
When that alarm goes off, I say to myself, "I don't wanna get up right now." And usually, my next thought is, "and neither does Satan." It is at that moment, I know that I have to get up and get my children up. They are groggy. They are cold. They are sleepy. But we read and they do not complain.
And I know that as a mom, I still have so much more to improve on. I still have so much more to learn. But I want to be able to look my maker in the eye one day and say, "Lord, I tried." I want Him to know that I just didn't sit back and spectate, but that I took the risk of fumbling a few times. And though I didn't win every game, in the grand scheme of things, and in the big SuperBowl of Saints, I fought for the right side; the Lord's side.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Journal Journey: Pranks
Ok, time for another trip down memory lane with the good old Journal...
Please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt, and please bring your seats to their full upright position.If you are seated next to an emergency exit, please read carefully the special instructions card located by your seat...
Feb 18, 1989
So far my Freshman year has been a lot of fun. I am glad that most of our group of friends have stayed close. Out of everyone in our group, SueAnn said that Celise, Julie B, Julie M and I are the most daring and weird. I guess she is right. After all, we are the ones pulling all of the pranks. But it's not really our fault. We are not the ones who scheduled us all to have biology together right before lunch period.
So far this year we have snuck a raw turkey neck in the boys locker room and threw it into the showers. Another time we left one sitting on a chair in the cafeteria. Also, Julie M & Celise brought some runny fudge and dumped it in the toilets. Another time, Celise drained the yellow broth from her soup and poured it into a disposable plastic cup then we placed it on the counter in the bathroom to make it look like a urine specimen.
One time when chicken nuggets were served at lunch we left dog biscuits on people's trays when they weren't looking. They looked just like the chicken nuggets too. Another week we stood outside the boys restroom during the lunch hour and applauded for them when they walked out. Some of them even bowed, though they weren't sure why.
Yesterday, I took a bunch of leftovers from the fridge and mixed them in a bowl with some added mayonnaise, food coloring, and Aloe Lotion and took it to school in an empty cool whip container. Taped to the lid we put a sign that said, "Do Not Open". When no one else was in the bathroom I sneaked in and placed the closed container in the sink.
Then, two-by-two, in shifts, we would hang out in the bathroom and watch what happened. It was pretty funny. A group of senior girls walked in and were arguing over who should open it. Finally someone opened it and almost all of them felt like puking! They ran out screaming.
I can't wait to see what we come up with next.
_________________________________
We were bored Freshman... what can I say. There WERE other pranks too, and many of them DID involve remains following the dissecting labs in Biology class... ewwww.... What Were We Thinking??? I have always been of the opinion that pranks are fun as long as no one gets hurt, no one is humiliated and property is not damaged/vandalized.
What about you? Did you ever play dorky pranks on anyone in school?
Please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt, and please bring your seats to their full upright position.If you are seated next to an emergency exit, please read carefully the special instructions card located by your seat...
Feb 18, 1989
So far my Freshman year has been a lot of fun. I am glad that most of our group of friends have stayed close. Out of everyone in our group, SueAnn said that Celise, Julie B, Julie M and I are the most daring and weird. I guess she is right. After all, we are the ones pulling all of the pranks. But it's not really our fault. We are not the ones who scheduled us all to have biology together right before lunch period.
So far this year we have snuck a raw turkey neck in the boys locker room and threw it into the showers. Another time we left one sitting on a chair in the cafeteria. Also, Julie M & Celise brought some runny fudge and dumped it in the toilets. Another time, Celise drained the yellow broth from her soup and poured it into a disposable plastic cup then we placed it on the counter in the bathroom to make it look like a urine specimen.
One time when chicken nuggets were served at lunch we left dog biscuits on people's trays when they weren't looking. They looked just like the chicken nuggets too. Another week we stood outside the boys restroom during the lunch hour and applauded for them when they walked out. Some of them even bowed, though they weren't sure why.
Yesterday, I took a bunch of leftovers from the fridge and mixed them in a bowl with some added mayonnaise, food coloring, and Aloe Lotion and took it to school in an empty cool whip container. Taped to the lid we put a sign that said, "Do Not Open". When no one else was in the bathroom I sneaked in and placed the closed container in the sink.
Then, two-by-two, in shifts, we would hang out in the bathroom and watch what happened. It was pretty funny. A group of senior girls walked in and were arguing over who should open it. Finally someone opened it and almost all of them felt like puking! They ran out screaming.
I can't wait to see what we come up with next.
_________________________________
We were bored Freshman... what can I say. There WERE other pranks too, and many of them DID involve remains following the dissecting labs in Biology class... ewwww.... What Were We Thinking??? I have always been of the opinion that pranks are fun as long as no one gets hurt, no one is humiliated and property is not damaged/vandalized.
What about you? Did you ever play dorky pranks on anyone in school?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I Just Wanted to Be Good...
I was IMing with someone I knew from my teenage years at church the other day on Facebook. Said-person-from-my-past began to "explain" to me how he and apparently "everybody else from our youth-group" (according to him) thought I was a SNOB during those years.
"Me?" I questioned in disbelief. "A Snob?"
"Yep," he replied matter-of-factly. "You always had this air about you that you were better than the rest of us; or that you thought you were."
I told him...with honest sincerity...
"I am sorry if you thought I was being a snob. But here is what you should know about me. I wanted soooo badly to fit in with the other youth. However, I had 1 sister who was 11 months older and another sister just 12 months younger. And believe it or not, there was not one other girl that was my age. They were either in the older or the younger sibling's grade or Sunday School class, and I just sort of felt left out."
There was one girl, when I was like 5. Laura Lee Lewis. But then her family moved away. And then there was another girl, Carla , but they moved away too when I was still young. When I was 11 a new family moved in. Heidi became my best friend. But shortly thereafter the church building was busting at the seams... and it was already a NEW building. So, they split us up geographically into what we call "wards". Those living in one geographic location were asked to attend the ward at 9am while those living in the other were asked to attend at 11am. This would allow room for everyone. Heidi lived on the complete opposite side of the county, which meant we were split up. In my journal I had even written I was feeling a little "out in left-field" at church and how trying to hang out with either of my sisters' friends felt like I was intruding. It seemed at times my only friends were the children I babysat for, their parents, and my youth leaders.
And as far as "thinking I was better than everyone else", well let me just say that I just wanted to be good. I wanted to be a good Christian. I wanted to be obedient to my parents. I wanted to Choose the Right. I never meant to come off as self-righteous or anything. More so, I was always striving to find perfection in myself, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. By no means, did I ever have intentions of disregarding anyone or their feelings in the process.
Anyway, this little "revelation" by Said-person-from-my-past-#1 sort of bothered me. Thus, when I was IMing another -person-from-my-past, I told him what I had learned. He said, "I never thought you were snobby. More like, "untouchable". It seemed you were only interested in guys from the other wards." I explained to Said-person-from-my-past-#2, the reason for that was because the boys in our ward were already preoccupied with the other girls. So, I felt like I needed to look elsewhere... (especially after my first love in my ward- broke my heart. Hey, I was only 15... that's a hard thing to recover from.)
I suppose most of it was just this internal desire to push myself. I always felt like I had to push myself to do better; to be better. I still do that to this day. If I think something is important, or worth the risk, I am extremely persistent at it.
I don't know why, but I just felt like I had to defend myself to both of these people from my past. I guess I felt that if any of them truly knew my heart (then AND now), that perhaps they would have seen that I just wanted to be good, I just wanted to be liked, and I just wanted to fit in. They may have also found out that I have a basic love for all people. I talk to anyone and everyone, anywhere...seriously. My kids think it's an illness. (How do you know that woman mom? me: What Woman? them: The one you were talking to in line at the grocery store. me:I don't know her...)
Lesson we've all heard before? Don't judge a book by it's cover. Simply Said, "Christianity 101".
"Me?" I questioned in disbelief. "A Snob?"
"Yep," he replied matter-of-factly. "You always had this air about you that you were better than the rest of us; or that you thought you were."
I told him...with honest sincerity...
"I am sorry if you thought I was being a snob. But here is what you should know about me. I wanted soooo badly to fit in with the other youth. However, I had 1 sister who was 11 months older and another sister just 12 months younger. And believe it or not, there was not one other girl that was my age. They were either in the older or the younger sibling's grade or Sunday School class, and I just sort of felt left out."
There was one girl, when I was like 5. Laura Lee Lewis. But then her family moved away. And then there was another girl, Carla , but they moved away too when I was still young. When I was 11 a new family moved in. Heidi became my best friend. But shortly thereafter the church building was busting at the seams... and it was already a NEW building. So, they split us up geographically into what we call "wards". Those living in one geographic location were asked to attend the ward at 9am while those living in the other were asked to attend at 11am. This would allow room for everyone. Heidi lived on the complete opposite side of the county, which meant we were split up. In my journal I had even written I was feeling a little "out in left-field" at church and how trying to hang out with either of my sisters' friends felt like I was intruding. It seemed at times my only friends were the children I babysat for, their parents, and my youth leaders.
And as far as "thinking I was better than everyone else", well let me just say that I just wanted to be good. I wanted to be a good Christian. I wanted to be obedient to my parents. I wanted to Choose the Right. I never meant to come off as self-righteous or anything. More so, I was always striving to find perfection in myself, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. By no means, did I ever have intentions of disregarding anyone or their feelings in the process.
Anyway, this little "revelation" by Said-person-from-my-past-#1 sort of bothered me. Thus, when I was IMing another -person-from-my-past, I told him what I had learned. He said, "I never thought you were snobby. More like, "untouchable". It seemed you were only interested in guys from the other wards." I explained to Said-person-from-my-past-#2, the reason for that was because the boys in our ward were already preoccupied with the other girls. So, I felt like I needed to look elsewhere... (especially after my first love in my ward- broke my heart. Hey, I was only 15... that's a hard thing to recover from.)
I suppose most of it was just this internal desire to push myself. I always felt like I had to push myself to do better; to be better. I still do that to this day. If I think something is important, or worth the risk, I am extremely persistent at it.
I don't know why, but I just felt like I had to defend myself to both of these people from my past. I guess I felt that if any of them truly knew my heart (then AND now), that perhaps they would have seen that I just wanted to be good, I just wanted to be liked, and I just wanted to fit in. They may have also found out that I have a basic love for all people. I talk to anyone and everyone, anywhere...seriously. My kids think it's an illness. (How do you know that woman mom? me: What Woman? them: The one you were talking to in line at the grocery store. me:I don't know her...)
Lesson we've all heard before? Don't judge a book by it's cover. Simply Said, "Christianity 101".
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Journal Journeys: The Doorbell Ditch
Here is part of an entry straight from my teenage journal. And I will just preface this and say, I hope no one whom is mentioned will be embarrassed, humiliated or offended. I was nearly 15 1/2 when I wrote this, and I will warn you now that it is cheesy...
May 14, 1989
Yesterday, Elkhart's top seminary* team won the scripture bowl. Afterwards, we all went over to Sister Kiser's (the teacher) house to celebrate. She threw a party for all of us for the hard work we did. When I got there, Eric was already there. Most of the kids wanted to watch a movie, but it was sort of boring. So, Eric, Amy, Andrew, Ryan and I decided to play Pictionary. Then a lot of us went outside to play Hide and Go Seek. It sounds a bit childish, but it was actually a lot of fun in the dark. Eric and I ended up hiding together most of the time. After that we wanted to go on a walk. So, Naomi, Ryan, Andrew, Ben, Hilary, Haylie, Eric and I all went.
Eric said he wanted to do some "doorbell ditching" so he went up to a door and knocked and then we all ran away. We all ran down the street and then walked down to the river. On the way back, Ben said he wanted to doorbell ditch someone. We all said he better not. But he did anyway. We all started running when the guy actually came out of his house! After we got around the corner, we figured we were safe, so we stopped running and just started walking again. We were only a few houses away from Kisers when all of a sudden some headlights shone brightly on our backs. We turned around and it was that guy whose door Ben pounded on!
We all took off running towards the Kiser's backyard. I was coughing so hard from laughing and running. But while the others went inside for ice cream, Hilary, Ryan, Eric and I stayed outside and just talked. My coughing was getting worse the more I laughed, so Eric said we should go inside and he would get me some water. Then we went upstairs (ahem, the living room) to talk some more, just the two of us. He told me he wanted to take me to his Jr. Prom. I was excited. Of course this is still almost a year away, but I said yes. Ever since Eric moved here a few months ago, I've had the biggest crush on him. I can't wait till school gets out. Then it will be summer break, and more adventures!
What's an adventure YOU remember or wrote about in your journal that YOU did as a teenager?
*Seminary is an in-depth scripture study course that our church offers the youth. We used to compete at the end of the school year in scripture mastery bowls.
May 14, 1989
Yesterday, Elkhart's top seminary* team won the scripture bowl. Afterwards, we all went over to Sister Kiser's (the teacher) house to celebrate. She threw a party for all of us for the hard work we did. When I got there, Eric was already there. Most of the kids wanted to watch a movie, but it was sort of boring. So, Eric, Amy, Andrew, Ryan and I decided to play Pictionary. Then a lot of us went outside to play Hide and Go Seek. It sounds a bit childish, but it was actually a lot of fun in the dark. Eric and I ended up hiding together most of the time. After that we wanted to go on a walk. So, Naomi, Ryan, Andrew, Ben, Hilary, Haylie, Eric and I all went.
Eric said he wanted to do some "doorbell ditching" so he went up to a door and knocked and then we all ran away. We all ran down the street and then walked down to the river. On the way back, Ben said he wanted to doorbell ditch someone. We all said he better not. But he did anyway. We all started running when the guy actually came out of his house! After we got around the corner, we figured we were safe, so we stopped running and just started walking again. We were only a few houses away from Kisers when all of a sudden some headlights shone brightly on our backs. We turned around and it was that guy whose door Ben pounded on!
We all took off running towards the Kiser's backyard. I was coughing so hard from laughing and running. But while the others went inside for ice cream, Hilary, Ryan, Eric and I stayed outside and just talked. My coughing was getting worse the more I laughed, so Eric said we should go inside and he would get me some water. Then we went upstairs (ahem, the living room) to talk some more, just the two of us. He told me he wanted to take me to his Jr. Prom. I was excited. Of course this is still almost a year away, but I said yes. Ever since Eric moved here a few months ago, I've had the biggest crush on him. I can't wait till school gets out. Then it will be summer break, and more adventures!
What's an adventure YOU remember or wrote about in your journal that YOU did as a teenager?
*Seminary is an in-depth scripture study course that our church offers the youth. We used to compete at the end of the school year in scripture mastery bowls.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Safe Text
FunnyMan (who claims he was the last of his kind) finally got a cell phone for his 15th birthday this month. He has unlimited text, which of course is a must-have for any normal, cool, and overly social teenager. Even though he loves, LOVES, LOVES texting his friends, he has also discovered the beauty of texting ME - his dear old mother - when he is downstairs and I am upstairs.
It's such a "time saver" and yelling from one end of the house to the other no longer becomes a means of communication. So, texting, you see actually provides for a much more "civil" environment, hahaha!
Anyway, so here I am, sitting in my bed with my laptop (ahh... love how technology aids to my lazy moments) and I get the following text from FunnyMan:
FM: PrettyPrettyPrincess wants to know what SPERM is...
I, of course laughed. And knowing just how prudish my 9 year old daughter can be (she doesn't even like to HEAR the word "kiss"), I sent the following response:
ME: Tell her it's the man's portion that makes a baby and she probably won't ask anymore.
Not less than two seconds later, I receive his report.
FM: LOL! You Called It!
Great... now if ALL of my birds and bees discussions could be taught via Text... hmmm.... Perhaps I could write a sex-ed seminar and teach it via Text...
Of course I'd encourage all class members to only practice safe text...[snickering]...tee hee...
It's such a "time saver" and yelling from one end of the house to the other no longer becomes a means of communication. So, texting, you see actually provides for a much more "civil" environment, hahaha!
Anyway, so here I am, sitting in my bed with my laptop (ahh... love how technology aids to my lazy moments) and I get the following text from FunnyMan:
FM: PrettyPrettyPrincess wants to know what SPERM is...
I, of course laughed. And knowing just how prudish my 9 year old daughter can be (she doesn't even like to HEAR the word "kiss"), I sent the following response:
ME: Tell her it's the man's portion that makes a baby and she probably won't ask anymore.
Not less than two seconds later, I receive his report.
FM: LOL! You Called It!
Great... now if ALL of my birds and bees discussions could be taught via Text... hmmm.... Perhaps I could write a sex-ed seminar and teach it via Text...
Of course I'd encourage all class members to only practice safe text...[snickering]...tee hee...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Mar-i-ju-ana
So, my son gets home from a party tonight just before midnight. He doesn't have his key, therefore, I have to get up out of bed and open the door. As I am letting him in, I smell something funny as he walked past me.
"Were you smoking Mari-ju-ana?" I ask, enunciating and pronouncing the "j".
He looks at me and sort of chuckles. "No," he replies. "Why?"
"I don't know," I say. "I smell something sort of like it." I notice he is chewing something, so I ask, "What are you chewing?"
He holds his hand out with evidence and states, "Swedish Fish."
"That's what I asked," I reply. "Were you smoking Mari-ju-Swedish-Fish?"
Again he chuckles and then asks, "Are YOU smoking Mari-ju-ana?"
"Go to bed," I state, as I head back to my room.
I get back on FB and tell my sister the conversation. About a minute later he walks in and says, almost as if it is an after thought, "I can't believe that is the first thing you said to me as I walked in the house."
All I can do is laugh.
Now - I have never thought in a million years that my kid would smoke marijuana, or even know where or how to get it. But the smell just seemed so foreign. I guess it was my way of saying, "what's that smell?" So - why didn't I just ask that?
Who knows... perhaps because it is midnight? Or maybe, I just like saying Mari-Ju-Ana!
If anything, now he knows that if he ever DID try to come home like that, I'd know. By the way - I don't even think he really knows what Marijuana or other drug even look like, thank goodness.
"Were you smoking Mari-ju-ana?" I ask, enunciating and pronouncing the "j".
He looks at me and sort of chuckles. "No," he replies. "Why?"
"I don't know," I say. "I smell something sort of like it." I notice he is chewing something, so I ask, "What are you chewing?"
He holds his hand out with evidence and states, "Swedish Fish."
"That's what I asked," I reply. "Were you smoking Mari-ju-Swedish-Fish?"
Again he chuckles and then asks, "Are YOU smoking Mari-ju-ana?"
"Go to bed," I state, as I head back to my room.
I get back on FB and tell my sister the conversation. About a minute later he walks in and says, almost as if it is an after thought, "I can't believe that is the first thing you said to me as I walked in the house."
All I can do is laugh.
Now - I have never thought in a million years that my kid would smoke marijuana, or even know where or how to get it. But the smell just seemed so foreign. I guess it was my way of saying, "what's that smell?" So - why didn't I just ask that?
Who knows... perhaps because it is midnight? Or maybe, I just like saying Mari-Ju-Ana!
If anything, now he knows that if he ever DID try to come home like that, I'd know. By the way - I don't even think he really knows what Marijuana or other drug even look like, thank goodness.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Temples, Teenagers & Tape
So last week I was planning to attend a session at the Temple with my friend Teeners. We planned to attend the Friday night 6:30 session and then go to dinner afterwards. I had just found out the night before that the Ex would not be taking them after school on Friday as usual, since he was out of town. So, like a good mother, I put dinner in the crock pot when I got up Friday morning. I explained dinner to the kids and told them they were on their own for the night. FunnyMan is 14 1/2, so he was to be the babysitter.
Well, during the middle of the workday on Friday, I noticed my phone was less than half-way charged. How could this be? I ALWAYS charge it on my night stand every night when I go to bed. I suddenly had the feeling the phone was not plugged into the wall or something. By the end of the workday, it was flashing me that "Low Battery" message. I was a little worried that if there was an emergency my kids would not be able to call me and let me know. I do not have a car charger for this phone. Luckily, I knew that Big-D did, and luckily when I called him I found out he was on his way home too. So, Teeners & I swung by Big-D's and grabbed the charger.
I plugged my phone in and by the time we got up to the temple, one of my kids had emailed me, which I got on my Blackberry.
"Mom. I know your phone is dead. But I hope you somehow get this message. My friends want to know if I can go bowling with them."
To which I reply,
"No. Remember I am at the Temple and YOU are the babysitter. Sorry... Not this time."
Thanks to the charger, I had enough juice for the message to send. I turn my phone off and leave it locked in the car to continue charging while we go into the Temple. The session was great and I got certain answers I was looking for.
At one point while in the temple, I thought, y'know, I probably should have told FunnyMan: You are in charge of your brother and sister tonight. If you want to go bowling, it means you ALL have to go together. Which means that ALL of your friends have to agree to watch over them. AND you have to get a ride to and from. I really did think that, because I know that his friends, though slightly rambunctious at times, are really good kids. I would trust any of them to watch my younger children. And they all have excellent parents, whom I also trust.
When we get back to the car, I turn the phone on and have 2 emails and 3 voice mails from FunnyMan, all marked URGENT. FunnyMan leaves me two voicemail "confessions" along with two emails telling me what he has done. He had also left me a note on the door. All of the messages, including the note basically say the same thing:
Here is what it says, with "mom" commentary of course:
Hey Mom, [LittleDuckling], [PrettyPrettyPrincess] & I left to go bowling with [BestFriend]. [LittleDuckling] & [PrettyPrettyPrincess] were bored (love how he shifts it to them) & for me to not go would apparently ruin everyone's plans (and now shifting it to his friends). The Kids & I have eaten (trying to prove he is responsible) & will be fine (as if to say, "don't worry mom"). I'm sorry I went over your head with this, I really am (no you're not... but good try). But the kids really want to do it, and my friends want to do it & I want to do it. (So, apparently, as long as everyone wants to do it, it's ok?) I think it'd also be a good environment as the kids are always fighting & it'd be nice to do an activity together. (so - if you stay home, you fight because you can't do an activity together?) I am really, really sorry I went over your head with this. (again, trying to sell it to me) Truly I am, & I am ready to be punished as you see fit (floggings all around!). Again, I'm sorry about this but I think [LittleDuckling] & [PrettyPrettyPrincess] will enjoy themselves (there ya go, selflessly thinking of them again, eh?). Love you Mom! -[FunnyMan] P.S. We need to get some tape (notice it is taped to the door with my physical therapy tape)
So, what was my reaction? Ah, I think the note is funny, to be honest. Quite clever as he really tried to "sell it" to me. I love the bit about the tape. Totally cracked me up. As far as his actions... Honestly, It was not a big deal. Maybe it should have been. After all, my email said "no". However, I also had that feeling later that perhaps I was too hasty in my decision. That instead of giving a flat-out "no", I should have given him the "yes" with conditions and then left the choice up to him. That is usually how I roll. I want my kids to enjoy their childhood, and I think socializing is part of being a teenager. I also believe that they need responsibilities. I try to give my kids tools to learn good decision making.
I think that FunnyMan weighed his options and knows me well enough to know that I would have been steamed if he would have went bowling at left his younger siblings at home to fend for themselves. Even though they are 11 & 9, and the 11 year old can watch over them an hour or two during the day, he is not mature enough for night-time babysitting. I think FunnyMan thought that if my phone weren't dead, and we actually had a conversation, I would have come to the same conclusion he had. He demonstrated creativity in addition to responsibility, and of course, I have to consider that, right? Not only did HE leave me messages and the note on the door, he had his friend leave me a voice mail as well as the MOM! Basically the message was, "Yes I have ALL of your kids. I hope this is ok. I didn't want you to worry, and I know the kids left you messages, but I wanted to leave one confirming the facts."
Did I punish him? Severely. He had to come with me to the church the next day as I enslaved him in setting up tables and chairs for our "fair" activity. Brutal, I know.
So, I didn't really feel bad at all at the way things ended up. Personally, I feel that he weighed the facts and consequences and felt that He made a good decision, but was also ready to accept any punishment, should I not have agreed. I really did feel ok about this.
I was telling this to another mom-friend of mine, who pointed out, "Yes. But you had already told him "no"... You should have stuck to that. Now he will think he can continue to get away with the things he wants to do."
What do you think?
Well, during the middle of the workday on Friday, I noticed my phone was less than half-way charged. How could this be? I ALWAYS charge it on my night stand every night when I go to bed. I suddenly had the feeling the phone was not plugged into the wall or something. By the end of the workday, it was flashing me that "Low Battery" message. I was a little worried that if there was an emergency my kids would not be able to call me and let me know. I do not have a car charger for this phone. Luckily, I knew that Big-D did, and luckily when I called him I found out he was on his way home too. So, Teeners & I swung by Big-D's and grabbed the charger.
I plugged my phone in and by the time we got up to the temple, one of my kids had emailed me, which I got on my Blackberry.
"Mom. I know your phone is dead. But I hope you somehow get this message. My friends want to know if I can go bowling with them."
To which I reply,
"No. Remember I am at the Temple and YOU are the babysitter. Sorry... Not this time."
Thanks to the charger, I had enough juice for the message to send. I turn my phone off and leave it locked in the car to continue charging while we go into the Temple. The session was great and I got certain answers I was looking for.
At one point while in the temple, I thought, y'know, I probably should have told FunnyMan: You are in charge of your brother and sister tonight. If you want to go bowling, it means you ALL have to go together. Which means that ALL of your friends have to agree to watch over them. AND you have to get a ride to and from. I really did think that, because I know that his friends, though slightly rambunctious at times, are really good kids. I would trust any of them to watch my younger children. And they all have excellent parents, whom I also trust.
When we get back to the car, I turn the phone on and have 2 emails and 3 voice mails from FunnyMan, all marked URGENT. FunnyMan leaves me two voicemail "confessions" along with two emails telling me what he has done. He had also left me a note on the door. All of the messages, including the note basically say the same thing:
Here is what it says, with "mom" commentary of course:
Hey Mom, [LittleDuckling], [PrettyPrettyPrincess] & I left to go bowling with [BestFriend]. [LittleDuckling] & [PrettyPrettyPrincess] were bored (love how he shifts it to them) & for me to not go would apparently ruin everyone's plans (and now shifting it to his friends). The Kids & I have eaten (trying to prove he is responsible) & will be fine (as if to say, "don't worry mom"). I'm sorry I went over your head with this, I really am (no you're not... but good try). But the kids really want to do it, and my friends want to do it & I want to do it. (So, apparently, as long as everyone wants to do it, it's ok?) I think it'd also be a good environment as the kids are always fighting & it'd be nice to do an activity together. (so - if you stay home, you fight because you can't do an activity together?) I am really, really sorry I went over your head with this. (again, trying to sell it to me) Truly I am, & I am ready to be punished as you see fit (floggings all around!). Again, I'm sorry about this but I think [LittleDuckling] & [PrettyPrettyPrincess] will enjoy themselves (there ya go, selflessly thinking of them again, eh?). Love you Mom! -[FunnyMan] P.S. We need to get some tape (notice it is taped to the door with my physical therapy tape)
So, what was my reaction? Ah, I think the note is funny, to be honest. Quite clever as he really tried to "sell it" to me. I love the bit about the tape. Totally cracked me up. As far as his actions... Honestly, It was not a big deal. Maybe it should have been. After all, my email said "no". However, I also had that feeling later that perhaps I was too hasty in my decision. That instead of giving a flat-out "no", I should have given him the "yes" with conditions and then left the choice up to him. That is usually how I roll. I want my kids to enjoy their childhood, and I think socializing is part of being a teenager. I also believe that they need responsibilities. I try to give my kids tools to learn good decision making.
I think that FunnyMan weighed his options and knows me well enough to know that I would have been steamed if he would have went bowling at left his younger siblings at home to fend for themselves. Even though they are 11 & 9, and the 11 year old can watch over them an hour or two during the day, he is not mature enough for night-time babysitting. I think FunnyMan thought that if my phone weren't dead, and we actually had a conversation, I would have come to the same conclusion he had. He demonstrated creativity in addition to responsibility, and of course, I have to consider that, right? Not only did HE leave me messages and the note on the door, he had his friend leave me a voice mail as well as the MOM! Basically the message was, "Yes I have ALL of your kids. I hope this is ok. I didn't want you to worry, and I know the kids left you messages, but I wanted to leave one confirming the facts."
Did I punish him? Severely. He had to come with me to the church the next day as I enslaved him in setting up tables and chairs for our "fair" activity. Brutal, I know.
So, I didn't really feel bad at all at the way things ended up. Personally, I feel that he weighed the facts and consequences and felt that He made a good decision, but was also ready to accept any punishment, should I not have agreed. I really did feel ok about this.
I was telling this to another mom-friend of mine, who pointed out, "Yes. But you had already told him "no"... You should have stuck to that. Now he will think he can continue to get away with the things he wants to do."
What do you think?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Beetlejuice!
I saw this guy pass by the other day.
To make matters worse, once I passed I him I could see in my rear view mirror that his shirt was OPEN (revealing his scrawny man-less ribcage) and he was wearing DARK eyeliner. I know it's sad but true that some people look like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down... but seriously, couldn't he have at least tried to look decent? Am I wrong or is "Beetlejuice" back in style?
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