The Pull-Over

Yesterday we were making the 570 mile drive back from my parents' house in Nevada to our home in Utah.  We had just made the switch from US 95 to I-80, when I said to Eric, "I haven't seen a speed limit sign posted yet-  have you?"  He said, "No, but I'm pretty sure it's 75 mph here."  (I was going approximately 78.5.)  I then saw a Nevada Highway trooper up ahead and off to the shoulder.  I left my cruise control where it was (cuz I wasn't skeered), and drove right on by.

We were probably about a half mile down the road when I saw in my rear view mirror, the trooper had pulled out onto the freeway.  When he got right behind me he turned on his lights, so I pulled over, and ended up coming to a stop directly in front of the 75 mph sign.

Knowing I wasn't "speeding" (or at least not enough for a ticket), I figured perhaps a tail light was out.  The trooper came up to the window and politely introduced himself as "Nevada State Trooper [whatever-his-name-was]" and proceeded with "I'll need to see your license, registration and proof of insurance, please."  I began to retrieve said items with the help of the hubs and the trooper continued.  "The reason I stopped you is because of your speed back there;  you were going about 89 mph."

My jaw did a little drop as I looked him straight in the eye and said, very politely I might add,  "No.  I was going about 78-- 79 at most.  My car can't even hit 80 without shaking (I need my tires rotated)."  Eric handed him the registration and insurance card while I began to fish out my driver's license.

He then asked, "Where are you headed?"  I replied "Utah", to which he said, "Ok, just watch your speed heading back to Utah".  I was in the process of handing him my license at this point and he looked a little embarrassed, like he forgot he was supposed to check my license in the first place.  He took it, looked at it, mumbled, "Utah" before handing it back, reiterating, "Ok then.  Just watch your speed.  Have a good day."

WEIRD.

So, I knew one thing for sure.  He never clocked me.  I also knew I wasn't speeding.  I thought it ironic Eric and I had just discussed this.  So, why the pull-over?

Eric thought perhaps he was guesstimating my speed, and hoped I would admit to it.   My guess was he was looking for a car with a similar description or perhaps was hoping we had drugs or something.  Then again, maybe he was brand new and hadn't quite got the hang of things yet.

I asked Eric later, "Did I come across as rude?"  Eric said, "No.  You just told him he was wrong, y'know, while batting your eyelashes..."  Ha!

Anyway, the whole thing was weird.  Hope he caught whoever he was looking for.

Be Safe

Today I am heading to the Northeastern corner of Wyoming. If the weather is good, it should only take 10 hours... "only". Bad news is I can't find my iPod! I cannot imagine traveling that far without it. Boo!

If you are traveling for the holidays like I am, please be safe!

Illegal Activity

Apparently, it's "illegal" to take a photograph of court proceedings in my small town "municipal" court. I really don't believe that, though. I mean what about the press? They take pics all the time. But... that's what the judge told me.

Oh well, at least I was respectful enough to ask his permission first. When he asked why I wanted to take the picture, I explained it was so I could blog about my son's first ticket. He didn't get it. Meh~ I let it go. No biggie...

...even though secretly I just think the judge was having a bad comb-over day and didn't want his picture taken. By the way, that's a little redundant, isn't it?..... "bad comb-over"...

It's Official...

FunnyMan now has his driver's license!!!


As a mother, THESE make me a li'l nervous...

And before getting behind the wheel, I wish I could send him out like this...

...especially because I KNOW there are drivers out there with THIS sort of mentality...

But, just like my parents, whom cut the apron strings loose, so must I. More prayers, more faith, and a little more Prozac oughta do the trick... right?

He Said, She Said...part 3

As they neared the intersection she said, "I think you want to turn right up here."

"I thought you told me left just a minute ago," he calmly countered, moving in the left-turn only lane.

"Hmmm. I think I did," she admitted sheepishly. "But I am pretty sure I meant right." She couldn't help but laugh as she pulled the google-map back up on her phone to show him.

"Oh," he said glancing at the map. "Yep. We wanna turn right here." He checked his rear view mirror just as the light turned green and the two cars in front of them began to move.

"There's no one behind us," she encouraged. "You can zip right on over and still make the right turn."

"Too late," he replied making the left turn. "I'm committed."

She laughed. "You're committed?" she asked as he pulled into a parking lot to make the necessary turn-around.

"Yep," he said with a smirk across his face. "Committed. Besides, it's illegal to cross 2 solid white lines."

She smiled, and not just at his humor over being "committed" to the turn. And not just because she was secretly pleased that he was a good, responsible driver. But mostly, because he didn't get mad or upset or blame her or rub it in for her *small* misguided directions. She wasn't always used to that, but decided she could get used to it. And that is why she smiled.

Stuck On A Band-Aid

So while PartyGirl, Desperate Housewife and I were having a Pity Party last week, we did a little shopping at Wal-Mart and Kohl's after dinner. We happened to see this and I just HAD to stop and take a picture for the blog. Looks like Some.One. misjudged the length of her Tahoe a little...

That ain't no etch-a-sketch. That's one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet. Well, at least not with a Band-Aid!

The Adventures of Superbowl Sunday & Sanity Gone Wrong

Let me preface this post with a little re-cap. You may recall when I got pulled over last month and the police officer stated that my vehicle did not have insurance. I did have insurance, but did not have the current card with me. I had to have my insurance company issue me a separate policy, since I am no longer married. I did not have my new cards when I was pulled over. So - I went to court and explained the situation to the judge. Also, I had my new cards with me by the time I went to court. Not good enough. Nope - he wanted me to get a LETTER from my insurance company to verify coverage. So - I did. I took all of my paperwork into the office a week ago Friday and faxed it to the courts. Follow me? Good. Now, on to the post at-hand.

I was invited to 2 events on Superbowl Sunday.

Event #1 - Friends had their baby blessed in church and were inviting a bunch of people to attend the service followed by a luncheon at their home. This is the same home in which my Ex lives. These are mutual friends. I could not attend the service, as I had my own Sunday obligations. I thought about not going to the luncheon as it might be awkward for me. But, I decided to stop in for a quick appearance as not to offend. Plus - event #2 was the perfect excuse for me not to stay.

Event #2 - I was invited to watch the Superbowl with a family up in Logan. Well, I argued. It would probably take me an hour and 15 minutes to drive. Then again, nothing better to do, and I was feeling up for an adventure; y'know, to lighten my mood. So, I thought, "What the hay?" and decided to go. It was just going to be this family (with 4 kids) and RocketGuy. RocketGuy's the brother. The single brother; divorced like me. Has kids like me. Perfect opportunity to meet, right? A group setting in a casual environment. No pressure, right? Things would/should go smoothly, right? Wrong. There's more.

Anyway, I was off. Dropped in to see the baby. Ate a bite of something I couldn't pronounce or spell, and headed up to Logan to watch the game. I was excited. I hoped that the Cardinals would at least put up a good fight. A few times I glanced down at the CD clock display. I secretly congratulated myself on the awesome travel time I was making. When will I ever learn...

In my car I have an audio connection that allows me to hook up my phone to the stereo, thereby allowing me to talk "hands free" with surround sound/speakerphone. I love this feature. I can drive and talk, and not get distracted keeping both hands on the wheel. Well, I was gabbing up a storm with my sister, and wouldn't you know, I passed the exit.

Crap! I call. RocketGuy answers. I tell him I miss the exit. He tells me it's ok and to go to the next exit or two and get off where it says "Riverside". I continue heading north. I don't see a Riverside exit. Next thing I know the signs indicate I will be in Idaho shortly! Double-Crap! At this point, I figure I'll turn around and go back to the original exit. I know this exit well, and have taken it many times before. I figure, this little turn-around will make me about 20 minutes late.

I am nearing the correct exit, when suddenly my nostrils and lungs fill with a rubber-smelling-like smoke. I see sirens ahead. There are about 4 police cars, 1 firetruck and a big-rig with a thick black smoke-cloud overhead. They were pulled over and blocking my exit! Figures! I pass the correct exit for the second time. Ugh! I continue south and take the next exit, so as to turn around and come back to the exit I should have taken from the start. (Is your head spinning yet?) By this time I figure I'm adding at least another 15-20 minutes to my already late arrival. I debate going home. But decide I'm already up here might as well finish out the adventure, right?

Finally, I take the correct exit and head into the canyon as I had done so many times before while visiting old college roomies. However, I was not used to driving in the canyon in the dark. There are lots of curves so I did take it a bit slower than usual, adding at least another 10 minutes. Finally, I make it to Logan, and call the awaiting par-tay. I am instructed to go north of town into the "country" and look for "such-and-such" road.

Well, this road was apparently numbered by the County Road system. I, however, was still within the city limits on a different street numbering system. I slowed a few times to check street signs. Once determined it was not the correct street, I continued on my journey. I was well aware that there weren't any other cars around me, so I didn't worry about irritating any other drivers with my slow-downs and speed-ups; all but one that is.

Next thing I know there are flashing lights in my rear-view mirror. Triple-Crap! I pull over to the side of the road. Barney Fife mosies on up to my window and asks for license and registration. While I am fishing for said documents, he says, "You were driving suspicious back there. Want to tell me what's going on?" I decided now was not the time to point out his use of an adjective in place of an adverb. "I'm sorry, officer. I am looking for an address." He asks me what street. I tell him. I hand him my documents and he tells me to stay put.

After several minutes he returns to the vehicle and asks for my proof of insurance. I suddenly have a sick-to-my-stomach, deer-in-the-headlights, yogi-bear moment. Quadruple-Crap! I left my insurance cards on my desk at work on Friday. I explain to the officer that just a few weeks earlier I was pulled over and they said I had no insurance, even though I did, and all of my insurance stuff is on my desk at work.

He says, "Well, the dispatcher said that the insurance database does not list this vehicle as having coverage. Now, perhaps you have coverage and it takes a while for the system to update. Then again, perhaps you don't. I very well can't verify it without your cards. Did the last officer give you a ticket?" I reply, "Yes sir." He pulls his pen from his chest pocket and while handing his clipboard to me, smirks and says, "Well, you just got yourself another one."

It was all I could do to keep myself from crying hysterically at this point. Did he not know that I am a poor single mom? Did he not realize that I have NEVER been pulled over for anything with the exception of the erroneous insurance citation just 3 weeks earlier? Did my perfect record mean nothing? Did he not know that I had to drive more than an hour, miss my exit twice, pass an on-fire semi and was now going to be nearly 2 hours late??? No. He didn't know and he didn't care.

He did tell me that he wasn't sure If I'd have to drive all the way back up there to attend court. But that maybe I could call the courts after a few days and see. Oh - and then he wished me "good luck" and told me the address I was looking for was still about a mile up the road. Gee, thanks!

I finally get to the party with only 2 1/2 minutes of the game left. I feel like crying. I feel sick to my stomach. I don't feel like eating. Nevertheless RocketGuy had baked his famous chocolate chip cookies, and they had all of this other food too. Everyone empathizes appropriately with my situation. They talk me into eating a little. So, I eat and watch the last few minutes of the game.

Following the game, we watched Wipeout on ABC. This was the first time I had seen the show. It was hilarious; Big obstacle courses and relay races for money. The object is NOT to wipe out, which is hard while dodging big objects coming at you. It was the Cheerleaders vs. the Couch Potatoes. It was funny! This one Couch potato was a big Japanese guy. He continuously wiped out in the mud, swamps, and rivers of Gatorade. Then he would get up, show a few "ninja" moves and try again. It was the comical relief I needed.

The End

So at 9pm, I start my way home. I had a few return phone calls to make, which I do on my lovely surround-sound, hands-free speaker system. Well, I was talking and laughing so much that when the road divided ... you guessed it... I took the wrong way! I quickly realized my error and luckily was still heading the right direction and luckily there was another chance to get on the freeway. Only about 5 minutes of lost time that time. For the record, I am not one to usually miss exits or get lost. I guess it just wasn't my day.

I think next year, I'll just stay home!

Missing my exit twice and using up more gas........ $10
Incurring a "driving without insurance" citation....... $400
Taking an adventure and watching my sanity go out the window... Priceless!

Bully with a Badge

I went to go pick up the offspring from their father's the other night. I had to wait in the car a few minutes while they gathered their things. I blasted the heat so it would be nice and toasty for their arrival. *BIG MISTAKE*.

The heat triggered a bloody nose, which I thought was a sudden case of the mere sniffles as I backed out of the drive and headed down the street. By the time I got to the first stop sign, I realized it was a gusher and begged the kids to locate a tissue or napkin or something.

The blood gets all over my hands and shirt, and alas a napkin with only a little smidge of cheeseburger remnants is located. I do not care. I shove the thing up my nose and proceed to the next stop sign.

As I pull out of the subdivision onto the main road, lights are flashing behind me. I was being pulled over. I knew I wasn't speeding. And I knew I came to a complete stop back there. So, I figured I must have had a tail light out or something.

The officer approaches the vehicle and at first glance of my blood-stricken face, gasps slightly and asks, "Are you okay?" I respond, "Just a bloody nose."

He then asks for my driver's license, registration and proof of insurance, to which I oblige. He begins, "The reason I pulled you over ma'am, is because I ran your plates in my system and it shows that there is no insurance on the vehicle. Are you aware of that?"

"There should be insurance. My Ex is supposed to carry insurance on both vehicles," I explain, quickly wondering if the Ex has canceled my coverage without telling me.

"Well," the officer points out, "you're I.D. card is expired too. Do you have your new one with you?"

"Um," I stammer. "I doubt it. My Ex probably hasn't given it to me yet, but it's the same policy as what's on that card."

The officer tells me to stay put. He heads back to his car and remains there for a few minutes before returning. Then he says "You're right. The vehicle does have insurance coverage after all. But I am giving you a citation for not carrying current proof of insurance."

I was thinking, "What? First your computer says I don't have it but now it magically says I do?" In all honesty I don't believe he ever "ran my plates" to begin with. I think it is what he says to people just to pull them over. Then I think once they are pulled over he runs their plates and sees if there is anything he can cite them for. Besides, I was only at the stop sign for a moment. And the intersection is not well-lit. I have a hard time believing he had time to run my plates.

To top it off, he says that if I get an updated card and go down to the court in person (like I have time for that) then it *might* help me out. He follows that up with, "I need you to sign this citation. It isn't an admission of guilt, just a signature stating I explained it to you and that you have received it. Do you think you can sign it without getting blood all over my pen?"

I took his pen and while signing with my bloody hands replied, "I'll try."

The ironic thing is this. Earlier that day, I had to drive down to my sister's house in Happy Valley to pick up some stuff and then drive back home. It was dark. I was by myself, and it took about an hour each way. While driving back I noticed tons of idiot drivers. I remember secretly congratulating myself, "I'm a pretty good driver, if I do say so myself. *Never* been pulled over for speeding or even as much as a traffic citation."

Well, that will teach me!

Where Have All The Men Gone?

I was dropping my oldest off at Jr. High the other morning as the snow pounded down around me in massive clumps. At the edge of the school parking lot there is this little dip in the pavement. Just as I am ready to exit, a car pulls away from the curb, right out in front of me. Pleb-Driver! I had to quickly apply the brakes and hope the now-empty van didn't slide. The good news? I didn't slide. The bad news? I was stuck.

Crap! If there was any time I missed having 4-wheel drive, it was now. I put my van in reverse and waited patiently for the brand new Durango behind me to back up a little. I was hoping to get more of a "head start" allowing me to "gun it" from the parking lot. I backed up in the teensy weensy little room the driver behind me allowed. Another Pleb! If she hadn't pulled up so close behind me to begin with, the car behind her wouldn't have pulled up so close, and so on and so forth.

I put my plan in motion and was at least able to make it out to the street. Well...sort of. I was half-way out of the parking lot and half-way into the street. Again. Stuck. I try to move forward. Nothing. I try to move backward. Nothing. What does the lady in the brand-spanking new Durango do? Surely, she'll get out and offer to push, right? Nope! She drives *AROUND* me. Well, she is a lady, I rationalized.

Surely, some MAN will stop and push. Otherwise, I will just continue to sit here, spinning my wheels, blocking both the parking lot AND the street. Nope. Three different men drive by and look at me like, "Hey lady! Do you know you're in the street!" I give a look back, like "No Shoot, Sherlock. How long did it take you to figure that one out?"

So where was my Knight in Shining Armor? Who was going to come to my aid and rescue a Damsel in Distress? Was I gonna have to actually exit the vehicle and flag someone down myself? For Pete's Sake, I hoped not. Afterall, I was in my PJs with no Bra on and hadn't brushed my hair or my teeth. Hey, in my defense, my brilliant plan was just to "quickly drop him off at school" and then head home to get ready for work.

Then an even bigger van pulled over. Guess who jumps out? You got it. A Woman! There you have it - my Knight in Shining Armor was a Woman! Well, certainly not to be outdone, a man in another van pulled over and he jumped out to help push as well. Still, the two of them could not set me free. Then a bus driver pulled his big yellow cheese wagon right in the middle of the street and he jumped out to help. Finally, they were able to rock me free. I yelled a quick "thank you!" from my open window and fled the embarrassing scene just as fast as one would expect a bra-less, bad-breathed psycho dressed in PJs to.

What's happened to men these days? Have we completely lost chivalry in all forms? Have we as women fought for equality for so many years, that men have become numb to their natural "roles"? Yes. I said it. Roles. I do believe that some things should be men's roles; helping Damsels in Distress being one of them. You bring me a man who wants to argue with that and I'll tell him, "I'm happy to trade you. You squeeze out the off-spring and I'll start holding doors open and fixing flats and pushing the bra-less psychos out of the snow."

So, did the men who stopped to help only do so because they couldn't bare to let their species be shown-up by a woman? Or perhaps the three of them came to help because they knew the burden of driving big empty vans or busses. No. Not this time. I think -wait, no -I know by the countenance in their faces that these three stopped because they are genuinely good, decent people. They certainly put those other men who passed me by to shame.

I do believe that there are angels out there among us. Some of the flesh, and some not. And some even to rescue bra-less, bad-breathed psychos in their PJ's driving big vans in the snow.