Thursday, January 8, 2009

Where Have All The Men Gone?

I was dropping my oldest off at Jr. High the other morning as the snow pounded down around me in massive clumps. At the edge of the school parking lot there is this little dip in the pavement. Just as I am ready to exit, a car pulls away from the curb, right out in front of me. Pleb-Driver! I had to quickly apply the brakes and hope the now-empty van didn't slide. The good news? I didn't slide. The bad news? I was stuck.

Crap! If there was any time I missed having 4-wheel drive, it was now. I put my van in reverse and waited patiently for the brand new Durango behind me to back up a little. I was hoping to get more of a "head start" allowing me to "gun it" from the parking lot. I backed up in the teensy weensy little room the driver behind me allowed. Another Pleb! If she hadn't pulled up so close behind me to begin with, the car behind her wouldn't have pulled up so close, and so on and so forth.

I put my plan in motion and was at least able to make it out to the street. Well...sort of. I was half-way out of the parking lot and half-way into the street. Again. Stuck. I try to move forward. Nothing. I try to move backward. Nothing. What does the lady in the brand-spanking new Durango do? Surely, she'll get out and offer to push, right? Nope! She drives *AROUND* me. Well, she is a lady, I rationalized.

Surely, some MAN will stop and push. Otherwise, I will just continue to sit here, spinning my wheels, blocking both the parking lot AND the street. Nope. Three different men drive by and look at me like, "Hey lady! Do you know you're in the street!" I give a look back, like "No Shoot, Sherlock. How long did it take you to figure that one out?"

So where was my Knight in Shining Armor? Who was going to come to my aid and rescue a Damsel in Distress? Was I gonna have to actually exit the vehicle and flag someone down myself? For Pete's Sake, I hoped not. Afterall, I was in my PJs with no Bra on and hadn't brushed my hair or my teeth. Hey, in my defense, my brilliant plan was just to "quickly drop him off at school" and then head home to get ready for work.

Then an even bigger van pulled over. Guess who jumps out? You got it. A Woman! There you have it - my Knight in Shining Armor was a Woman! Well, certainly not to be outdone, a man in another van pulled over and he jumped out to help push as well. Still, the two of them could not set me free. Then a bus driver pulled his big yellow cheese wagon right in the middle of the street and he jumped out to help. Finally, they were able to rock me free. I yelled a quick "thank you!" from my open window and fled the embarrassing scene just as fast as one would expect a bra-less, bad-breathed psycho dressed in PJs to.

What's happened to men these days? Have we completely lost chivalry in all forms? Have we as women fought for equality for so many years, that men have become numb to their natural "roles"? Yes. I said it. Roles. I do believe that some things should be men's roles; helping Damsels in Distress being one of them. You bring me a man who wants to argue with that and I'll tell him, "I'm happy to trade you. You squeeze out the off-spring and I'll start holding doors open and fixing flats and pushing the bra-less psychos out of the snow."

So, did the men who stopped to help only do so because they couldn't bare to let their species be shown-up by a woman? Or perhaps the three of them came to help because they knew the burden of driving big empty vans or busses. No. Not this time. I think -wait, no -I know by the countenance in their faces that these three stopped because they are genuinely good, decent people. They certainly put those other men who passed me by to shame.

I do believe that there are angels out there among us. Some of the flesh, and some not. And some even to rescue bra-less, bad-breathed psychos in their PJ's driving big vans in the snow.


Dianne said...

you know if you had been dressed, hair fixed, bra on, you would never have gotten stuck. Isn't that the way it always goes? Every once in a while my 11 year old will open my door. I LET HIM! Hope someone appreciates him some long, LONG, and farway day.

Cindy said...

I really can't top Dianne!
Personally, I think it's "our" fault that we don't teach that to our children.

debilyn said...

poor emma!...and Dianne is so right...if you'd been "proper", it never would have happened. That's just the way the universe works.

I'm so happy to say that both of my sons are almost ALWAYS conscious of being perfect little gentlemen outside of the house...and women out in public always seem shocked and amazed that teenage boys would behave that way....

makes me proud!

Mrs. S said...

When I had my honda element, someone braked in front of me REALLY hard. I don't think I realized how hard, so I went off onto the shoulder a little to avoid hitting them, the earth was really soft, so I slid into the SIX foot ditch. I landed softly on the passenger side, but if you have EVER seen a Honda Element you will notice the doors are HUGE. And since my side was up in the air, it was WAY too heavy for me to push it open so I was hanging out sideways in the car. There was an entire line of traffic and NO ONE stopped to help. Not one person. I called my dad who was thankfully just a couple of miles away. He was so made he pulled the truck between both lanes blocking traffic while he helped me. It was awful. Where did all the niceness and chivalry go???

okeydokeyifine said...

That will learn you. Dress for accidents and for getting stuck in the snow or mud. Have on clean underwear and pants and a shirt with a bra under it. Wear a hat and shoes. I think that about covers it.

And if Murphy's Law is anything... if you do all that you will NOT get in an accident or get stuck. Sound Logical?

The Willeyes said...

I agree-it's Murphy's Law...if you were ready for work, you wouldn't have gotten stuck! Who is this Murphy anyway:) I'm going to have to look into that!

Vickie said...

Wow Emma, too bad they could not cancel school.

Doncha hate it when people stare at ya and think you are doing this on purpose.

Mrs. S: Wow that was awful no one helped you. You basicaly had an accident. Good for your Dad for blocking traffic. I would be mad too!

Ashley said...

I can't believe so many passed you by at first but glad you finally had some rescuers. It gives hope to all of us bad-breathed, braless, pajama wearing psychos out here. haha!

Two Blessings From Above said...

I had to laugh at your post! That will teach me not to take my boys to school bra-less and in slippers! I was glad to hear someone stopped and helped you.

TravAndToni said...

Hey, I thought braless, unkempt, unbrushed and stinky was our morning uniform?!? Heaven knows I go out like that every day to make the drive to the school... and I look around - I'm not the only one! It does help we go earlier to make it to Jazz Band in time... sometimes it's still dark out.

I love the lady that just drove around you. How rude. Of course, I'm not surprised by it at all... those parents driving at the junior high school are frighteningly rude as a rule. I'm glad someone stopped to help you, especially since our boys weren't outside to give you a push.

And listen to your mother! Put on your clean underpants and dress for getting stuck. I love your mom :)

I expect door to be opened for me. I will stand in front of the door and wait if my husband or son doesn't grab it. I'll also sit in the car until one of them come back to 'let' me out if they forget to open my door. Might be considered egotistical or obnoxious these days, but I am a lady and I expect my gentlemen to treat me thusly!

Anonymous said...

Guess from now on you'll put on a clean pair of undies to go drop him of. ;)

Susie said...

That is so funny!!

RhondaLue said...

So was your bra still left in the window then? ;)

I know there are good guys out there....all over. We just need to be careful that they're not whackjobs trying to get us while our guard is down. Or maybe that's my own personal fear!

So glad they helped. Once I stalled in an intersection and a big black dude with dreads hopped out of his car wearing a pimped out purple and mustard suit and helped me push it out of the way and jump start it. What an angel he was to me!! I shall not judge anymore!

Oh and I might've driven around but only because I'd be no help with my bad back. BUT I might try to call someone to come help if nobody else was around!

my hub ALWAYS stops to help. Scares me because I'm afraid some scary dude'll be hiding in the shadows (a setup, ya know?) but ya gotta help where ya can.

P.S. do I sound a smidge paranoid?

Kaye Butler said...

There was a day when I would not be caught without my makeup and hair done...

Now, I dry my hair enough to not catch a cold and do my makeup at work EVERYDAY.

The other day,at the funeral home, a couple comes to a funeral, he opens the door and lets all the women pass... I said..."Your a man after my own heart, such a gentleman" his wife said..."Take him...and don't bring him back. He's just showing off for his friends." She turns around on the heal of medical shoe and strides off to the chapel and sits down, shaking her blue hair muttering SOMETHING under her breath. The man...says..."See she still loves me after 58 years."

Too funny.

Blog Stalker said...

What 'I wonder is whether you will be fully dressed with make up applied the very next time you are behind the wheel for any reason?

Have a great day!

Ruthykins said...

i'm with rhondalue in wondering if your bra is still in the window or with the dog. if d-rock had seen you he would have helped. he opens doors for me, too.

andrea said...

Love the glasses emma:)

Now we know why our mothers always told us to be sure and wear underwear;)

Du and MJ said...

Truely a great post to remind us to stop and help a little. I am also amazed when I see some one stuck with a car problem and everyone just goes around them. I pulled over once, leaving my kids in the car to help someone with a dead car in the turning lane on a busy street to help push them out of the way. I've been in the position of needing help and being thankful when it comes to know that I need to help other people. Thanks for the reminder, espesially with this "fun" snow season we've been having.