Not Me Monday

It has NOT been a long time since I've posted a Not-Me-Monday post (NOT since December 20, 2010 - to be exact).

I have NOT been revisiting my Blog and feeling like I miss the "old" blogging me who did NOT used to seem to have more time to NOT blog.  Therefore, I decided it was NOT time to give a little mouth-to-mouth and revive Not-Me-Mondays.  (If you're the new kid on the block, "Not-Me-Mondays" are posts that may or may NOT confess the things that have recently occurred in my life.  Don't worry, you'll catch on -- or NOT.)

This past week I did NOT finally start to feel a little bit more relaxed with a few of my classes this semester and did NOT finally start to see the proverbial light at the end of that long, winding tunnel.  I did NOT try a new Fruit Dip recipe (which I did NOT happen to find on Pinterest, because I do NOT...er...um... spend time on Pinterest).  The dip was NOT Orange Creamsicle and is NOT 1 tub of cool whip, 1 pkg dry instant vanilla pudding mix and as much (or as little) frozen orange juice concentrate to desired creamsicle taste.  The dip was NOT for a fun party with fun people and "funner" games!  I did NOT enjoy lunch and/or dinner with a dude on more than one occassion and I certainly did NOT go to Walgreens the day after Valentine's Day to buy up their remaining stock of Russell Stover's Dark Chocolate Covered Marshmallow Hearts for 25 cents a piece (on clearance), because that would be insane, and I am NOT crazy like that.

Also this past week I did NOT finally go and get that long-awaited massage I had been whining about, I did NOT sit down with a friend to plan our joint-family mini-summer-vacay to the Upper NorthWest and above all, I certainly did NOT hang out at Desperate Housewife's house one night, for the second weekend in a row, until 3 in the morning kinda late.

I did NOT contemplate life, read past blogs and realize how far I've come, think about my future and where I'd like to see it heading and I certainly did NOT contemplate blogging more about my recent relationship epiphany.

I did NOT finally come up with a better title for the manuscript I've been working on and I absolutely do NOT love it.

And lastly, I most certainly did NOT pee a little while having a sneezing fit just a moment ago...  nope, NOT me!

What about you?  What did you NOT do?

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes

Over the course of the past few weeks, I haven't slept very much.  Not that I'm a good sleeper anyway, as you all well know.  But it seems to have been more restless than normal. (Here is where I save you the trouble of telling me which meds to try...  Melatonin doesn't work for me.  Ambien puts me to sleep, but then I'm wide awake 2-3 hours later.  The other one (Lunesta?  I can't remember), including the OTC sleeping aids, makes me feel groggy too long the next day.  Xanax I LOVE, and it works, but I take sparingly because I only get so many refills for so few pills per month.)

Anyway -- I am a tosser and a turner.  And probably will be until my life settles down (will it ever settle down?).   I just can't seem to turn my mind off, or get comfortable long enough to turn my mind off.  I've got all sorts of things going on, which I know all of you already know about.  Being a mom to kids, working a full-time job, being a 3/4-time student, actively involved in my church and the local "mid-singles" group (aka, my "social life"), and the gym, when I can squeeze it in.   So, needless to say, I'm always go-go-gadget-going.

Also over the course of the past two weeks, my body feels like it's falling apart a little.  My right knee is always achy.  But then my left knee decided to join in.  I threw my shoulder out and could barely move it for days.  Then I got a kink in my left shoulder causing tension in the base of my neck, leading to a migraine.  And then I woke up yesterday with a stiff neck on the right side!

I'm not writing all of this as if to say, "Wo is me... poor me... feel sorry for me!"  I realized yesterday that my body is trying to keep up with my mind and due to my malnourished sleep-life, it can't do it anymore.  I need to find ways to relax, and more often.  I thought about the last time I slept really well, and it was when I was getting weekly massages.

Because of the whole cost factor, I probably won't go back to weekly massages.  However, just like when I bought my new mattress set last year, I think I need to look at massages as an investment to my health.  For reals...  I started visiting my chiropractor again last week and while he's been putting me back together, I really do think I need regular massages to keep me going.

I think there is something very healing about massages, and not just because it relaxes the body.  But for me, it helps me clear my mind, and slow my thoughts down so I can actually process them at a pace that makes sense.  Wouldn't you agree that's worth it?

If only insurance companies would agree.

Another Great Quote

We Are Spiritual Beings

This is one of my favorite quotes.  It's by French Philosopher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955)

To My Daughter on Her 12th Birthday

Dear Daughter,

I unexpectedly felt a little emotional this morning while getting things ready to celebrate your day.  I thought about the day that you were born and the emotions I had about having a daughter.  I looked forward to the times when I would get to dress you in pretty dresses and do your hair all cute with little bows.  I anticipated the times that I'd snuggle with you to read bedtime stories and the Mother-Daughter talks we'd share as you grew older.  I was so excited that Heavenly Father trusted me enough to bring you to me.

As far as labor and delivery goes, it was a little tricky and there was a brief moment of touch-and-go for you. Luckily it went by fast (thanks for that) and we were able to bring you into this world as a healthy, happy baby. You were such a beautiful baby, with the cutest dimples and the biggest brownest eyes.  Strangers would approach me all the time to tell me what a gorgeous baby I had.  In fact, I could never take you out in public without hearing that at least 3 or 4 times each and every time.

From very early on you were mild-mannered and extremely shy in public, while at home letting everyone know your opinion on things.  As you learned to talk, you were a good big-little-sister to your older brothers, always trying to keep them in line.  You have many talents and I am so glad you've grown out of your shyness so that others around you may benefit from those talents you share. 

Today you are twelve years old.  You are still very beautiful.  You are also smart, generous, kind, honest, loyal and loving.  You set such high standards for yourself that I don't even need to worry about so many things other parents might with their own daughters at this age.  You are diligent in staying on task and getting things done without needing reminders from me, and you often remind me of the things I need to remember.  You offer up little words of encouragement to me from time to time which have been both unexpected and appreciated. You are a great example to those around you, including me.

The days of snuggling with you to read a bedtime story are long gone, and I know you are a bit old for me to adorn your hair with barrettes and bows.   But I still look forward to more fun times and great mother-daughter conversations like I used to have (and still do) with my own mother. 

Know that you are greatly loved (even by your brothers) and always remember that you are a beloved daughter of God.  He wants what is best for you and you should never settle for anything less.

Enjoy your day!

Love, 

Mom

Age

"Age doesn't matter" is a phrase one often hears in the world of dating.  And I suppose that's true for the most part, assuming you're not trying to pull a Mary Kay Letourneau.  Also, the words "barely legal" shouldn't excite you; seriously.

As far as dating goes, I do have some age preferences, although the only hard-fast rule regarding age is that the dude must be closer to my age than that of my [currently] 17-year old son or my [currently] 60 year-old father.  The only exception to that rule being Sting.  For a man my father's age he is HAWT!  Mmmmm...  now that's some eye-candy I wouldn't mind taking home with me! haha.

En-Nee-hoo...

I don't know why, but age seems to be a big deal to me.  When I turned 30, it wasn't a big deal - but 32 was a hard year for me.  Then 34 was a difficult one, and in my head, I haven't really aged past that.  That's the year I really did stop counting.  Now, when someone asks me my age, I have to stop and do the math.

My age this past berfday has also bugged me.  I try not to dwell on my age or let it define me, per se, it's just the closer I get to 40, the worse I feel about it.  I want to be on the other side of 30, thank you very much.

In trying to determine why I feel this way, the only thing I can come up with is that when I got divorced, it was  starting a new chapter in my life - a fresh start.  I felt young and vibrant and full of energy.  I had options and truth be told -- I kinda like having options, having somewhat of a do-over.

I think about having another baby All.The.Time.  Let's face it though, I'm no Spring Chicken.  The closer I get to 40, the closer I get to the reality that it probably won't happen.  Which is fine...  it's not like I HAVE to have another baby.  It's just something I think about - a LOT.  I would love to be married again, and there is something about wanting to give a child to the person you love... I digress.  The other part about dating at my age is the closer I get to 40, the dating pool of men starts to change.  I had a great conversation with a man in his early 40's back in October; and he was sekseh too.  Then he mentioned something about his new baby granddaughter.

~CHOKES~  What did he just say???  GRANDDAUGHTER?  Ohhhh... no. No.En.No.  I am soooo not ready to be a Nana.  Uh-uh!  I would say I ran the other way, but I only had to walk, since he WAS a grandpa and all! haha!

I hate that I feel like my age is passing me by.  Even though I am "active" with my kids, with school, with work, and in my social life.  Trust me, there isn't a lack of trying on my part.

I'm not sure blogging about this helps at all...  but that's the runaway train in my brain this morning.  The runaway train of age; I see it coming and yet, there's nooooo stopping it.  Perhaps that is what I really hate about it... the fact I can't control it.

In Tune: Beatbox & Bagpipes

Melikey... I think this is kinda cool.