Thursday, August 21, 2008

10 Things I Hate About You

1) When you cut me off in traffic, and then act like you did nothing wrong.

2) When you let your kids run wild in the store while they are pushing those stupid mini-shopping carts, bumping into me and running over my toe. And then you look at me sheepishly as if to say, "they're just kids...aren't they just the cutest things?"

3) When you look directly at me and say, "Hi! How are you???" Inducing a response from me- "Fine". And then you act all disgusted and point to your Bluetooth Earpiece like, "hello! I'm on the phone, duh!"

4) When you leave a public restroom without washing your hands.

5) When you talk incessantly to your date during the entire movie - and it's opening night of like the best movie of the year!

6) When you come to my door, and I tell you "no thanks" and you continue to ask me when a better time to come back might be. How about NEVER!!!

7) When you talk to the check-out girl in the lane next to yours the entire time you are ringing up my order. Hello! I am the customer! Me!!!

8) When you attempt to wear that trashy Denim Mini skirt (hiked up to high-heaven) and the see-thru halter top that you are clearly much too Over-the-Hill and much too Over-Weight for. No one needs to see that! C'mon!

9) When you stand right outside of the entrance puffing on a cigarette NEXT to the sign that reads, "No Smoking within 15 feet of this sign"!

10) When you "let one" slip in public, leaving no warning for those unsuspecting victims, like me, who innocently walk into your "fart-cloud" practically choking - leaving me to pay twice, as now all those behind ME, think I was the culprit of the aforementioned vapor!!!

122 comments:

Dawn said...

Amen! Especially about the kids running wild in the store!! Or in restaurants!

Kathi said...

This is too funny! I love #10....since I live with that one. 3 boys in my fam...including the hubby...you know what I mean??

I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog and let you know the winner is up.

Karin @ 6ByHisDesign said...

OK, wow - you've really thought this through! Now, about the kid running wild thing. I'm really sorry I ran over your toe. And they really are 'just kids' --- it was that 4th one that really threw me over the edge.

Oh wait. That wasn't you in Missouri at the TarJay today? Oh crum. Now I gotta go find THAT woman's blog.

Thanks for stopping by - you're funny. I'll have to come back.

Blog Stalker said...

I am still laughing hysterically about the fart cloud.

What a great post.

Ruthykins said...

well, let's not take my kids to restaurants while you're here so you'll still have a good impression of them.

Meg said...

I might be guilty of #2 and #7.

Hey, my kid is cute! LOL

hollibilly said...

My thoughts exactly!

Jill said...

I'll second #'s 7 & 8. They really chap my hide!

Thanks for stopping by yesterday. Beautiful blog you have here!

Jill

The Happy Mom said...

Great list, thanks for the laugh!

Happy SITS day to you! :)

Momma Trish said...

I agree with these. They all drive me nuts! Why don't people behave better? Really?!

Lilly's Life said...

Oh that is so hilarious and I nodded my head all the way through and couldnt agree with you more. And your little ducklings are adorable and I like your hair either way. Have a great SITS Feature Day!!!

jori-o said...

HAHAHA! I agree with all of them, #7 and #9 especially. And #10!! Hysterical!!!

Mommyhood is Thankless said...

I agree with all of these, I have kids and they know better than to run around like heathens in public. I get very agitated by people who let their kids just "do whatever" in public. SUPERVISE YOUR CHILDREN!

Happy SITS day!

Yaya said...

We should find whoever invented those mini-carts and ram one of them into his/her ankles.....

April said...

Happy SITS Day! I loved this post and you expressed my feelings to a tee!

jewelstreet said...

Oh, the infamous fart cloud. Yeah, I could've done without that one once or twice.

Congrats on the Sits feature!

Kimmie0270 said...

This is too much! LoL Happy Sits Day!

HeatherY said...

Happy SITs day! So funny and so true!

Mimi said...

Lol, you even got me to laugh first thing in the morning!

Preston said...

OMG you've nailed them all.

Kaytie said...

I agree with so many of these!

momto1 said...

Too funny...although, I must admit to letting my kid run in the grocery store every once in a while....with out the cart/physically assaulting people. Some days, it is better to let him have some fun when I have to get things done--

But the restauraunt thing? I'd never! He is a perfect angel!

Heather said...

There's one grocery store here that has the mini carts, but they've got these tall, metal poles attached with a little sign on the top that says "SHOPPER IN TRAINING" or some such. The *only* time I've ever let my kiddo push one of those mini-carts is when we're at that store, and I kept a firm grip on the top of the pole (miles above her eyeline so she never caught on) so there was no running wildly nor crashing into things/people.

I will also confess to having grabbed the pole of some *other* person's kid's minicart when they've gone careening past my airspace. That really burns my butter!

This list totally cracked me up! Cheers!

KC Mom said...

Ha! You said fart cloud!! You are too funny.

Pink Ink said...

#7, yes!

Congrats on your SITS day :-)

Joye said...

you cracked me up. there is a lot of truth 10 is just wrong hehehe saucy blog!

Leslie said...

This are all very true and annoy me too! #10 just happened to me at Dick's sporting goods! YUK!! Congrats on SITS!!

Brenda Jean said...

I must be one lucky mama, cause a lot of these haven't happened to me. But you know what that means right? Now they ALL will IN ONE DAY...gee, thanks:)

Debbie Y. said...

My dear hubbies gassyness leaves more than a "fart cloud." Let's say more like a "rumblestorm." And the vapors are lethal. I try not to take him in stores with me because his SBD's are like chemical warfare and will have the other shoppers dropping in the aisles.

Melissa Lester said...

About kids running wild in the store, let me just say, I'm sorry. Usually mine are pretty well-behaved, but there are times they make me want to crawl under a rock.

Toots said...

Right on!!! And HA HA HA about the fart cloud . . . unfortunately I've heard that my hubby sometimes does this . . . AT WORK! he he he

Shanda said...

Congrats on being featured today!! I always get a good laugh at posts like these... :)

mrsbear said...

That's not me, I swear. Okay, my kid might have run over your toe, but it was probably with a full sized shopping cart, and I apologized profusely.

cat said...

Oh I love this post! The little things that annoy us all to no end.

Creative Junkie said...

Ewwwwwwwww for #4! For those kinds of sickies, I think of the lockdown and isolation scene from Monsters Inc., when someone is caught with a baby sock on their back.

Someone needs to body slam those people to the floor and sterilize their hands.

Ewwwwwwwww.

Jaden Paige said...

#4 is just... Yuck!

And I also agree on #'s 6 & 7... Come to think of it, I agree with most of your pet peeves! You've hit the proverbial nails on their heads :D

lmerie said...

Love your list - especially #7. I once just talked away at a Walmart cashier while she talked to the next cashier. Finally she asked if I was talking to her and I said yes, but she was not listening and I just wondered why she asked how I was if she was not going to listen or pay attention. I was not having a good day in Wallyworld (someone had emptied and taken my cart in the store - right before)

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

That is hilarious! I seriously laughed out loud!!

Angie
"Nana's Box"

Brandy said...

#1 and #2 are my exact thoughts! #10 is just disgusting.

I am Barking Mad said...

Congrats on the SITS feature! You're "Girls" post had me rolling on the floor with a mixture of tears of commiseration and laughter. I can so relate. Also, I could have TOTALLY written this post, although you forgot to mention the intense pain when one of those midget carts runs into your Achilles tendon. Literally brings tears to my eyes!

Awesome post. Love the blog and will be back for sure!

Auds at Barking Mad!

Kelly Deneen said...

hahaha! Love it!

This list is so right on. What a great way to start my day. :)

Brooke Jean said...

Wow. You mean I'm not the only one! Thanks for a good laugh!

Margaret said...

Great list.

Vickie said...

Freakin' funny. This post put a smile on my face. I was feeling a bit blue today, thanks. Congrats on SITS day.

ugagirl30 said...

Too funny. The phone thing actually happened in reverse at a concert recently. We thought he was talking on his phone and he got all peeved because he was talking to us. Stupid old perv!!

Karol said...

That's awesome. Yup, #10 happens around my boys (yes, that includes hubby). Oy.vey.

I hate blue tooth. Shall they burn.

*Happy SITS day!

(did you break the SITS board?! I think it was you!!!...lol..)

Kristy said...

lol to funny and i totally agree!

Ronnica said...

Sorry, that was me in the denim mini-skirt and see-through halter.

Umm, not. I know better!

The not washing your hands things gets me. I especially find it interesting when people do it in front of others. Do they have no shame?

Katie said...

That's a crack up!! I'm so with you on those! I despise Walmart for the kiddo reason alone! Congrats on FB!

Queen of Feisty said...

Congrats on the FB of the day! I too am a SITS girl. Enjoy the crazy traffic from this day! I had mine a few weeks back, and it was crazy fun!

Anywho, I agree on all 10... I just may need to post one of these myself. Thanks for the inspiration!

Feisty

wendy said...

Funny, funny stuff...and all so true!

Happy SITS day!

mrsmouthy said...

Dude, sorry about my son running over your foot with his mini grocery cart. But the fart cloud? That was TOTALLY not me!

Deconstructing Jen said...

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long while! Hysterical. :D Thanks for sharing your list.

Rhea said...

So, how are we supposed to handle number 10?

Diamond said...

#4-Ewww! I see a lot of that.
Happy SITS day!

Paige said...

My husband is the king of the fart cloud. He also thinks if he rolls down the window in the car and waves at himself that it will help. It does not

Ick

Shannon said...

Oh, I hate #4, too! That is just gross!

Honey Mommy said...

You are hilarious!

I have your exact "I belong" button with the temple on my sidebar too! Imagine that.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Yes, I am with you on all aforementioned points.

Tami said...

ROFL!! Great list! I agree with you on all of those!

Happy SITS day - its too much fun :)

Grand Pooba said...

You're hillarious! Congrats on your bloggy fabulousness! I loved this post.

Marrdy said...

That is too funny. I agree with every one!

Amy said...

Happy SITS day! I agree with them all :D

angie said...

What I hate is when kids spill something (candy, drinks) and parents ignore it. Ugh.

Great list!

Lynette said...

Ugh. The wild children. Please put them on leashes or something like the animals they act like.

Blue Castle said...

Every one of your top 10 I add an Amen too. :) Awesome.

Melodie said...

OMG! I walked through a couple of fart clouds at Walmart yesterday and I practically vomitted! At the end of the aisle, I made sure to turn the opposite direction from the couple who had been ahead of me on that aisle so as to avoid anymore fart clouds. YUCK!

Rhonda said...

I totally agree with them all! Especially number 10!!

Happy SITS day!

Laural Out Loud said...

This list pretty much sums up the worst offenses, lol. I've experienced every one, and it makes me want to scream at people about decency. I'm sure it'd be a lost cause. Thanks for the laugh!

Jacie said...

I'd say that about sums it up.

Nina said...

I laugh at your list... I hate the blue tooth fool. I run into a girl getting coffee each morning that does this and I have learned but someone really needs to tell her she looks foolish walking around talking to nothing.

Lizzie said...

these are just hilarious! (Happy SITS day!)

Mrs. S said...

Oh Emma, this is a goodie! Too funny...

Spoiled Mommy said...

WOW!!
I LOVED it!!
Im new to the SITS and Im so glad that I joined today and found your blog...its GREAT!!

I agree with you on EVERYTHING on the 10 things!

Too funny!

Carrie said...

Happy SITS day!

These are TOO funny!

Michelle said...

Thanks for the chuckle and I couldn't agree with you more.

Momma Drama said...

I hate blue tooths/teeth too.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

OH my. The bluetooth is a winner but the fart cloud is a classic. Congrate on your SITS day!

Mandy said...

Soooo funny! And sooo right! Thanks for the laugh! Congrats on your FB day.

Tabitha Blue said...

Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. I completely agree!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Yes x 10 from me...

Tessa said...

over from sits, love your blog

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Hey! Visiting from SITS. Gotta agree with all those pet peeves. They're quite valid and true.

Fart Clouds suck.

Tiffany said...

YES! about smokers standing right by the stinking door. I hate that!

sassy stephanie said...

Oh man. Great list.

Michelle said...

Congrats on your SITS day!!! my biggest pet peeve is the kids in the stores whose parents aren't watching them, and they touch your legs with sticky fingers and scream and cry and whine all the while the parents just let them run a muck! ya know what, I'm going to say something to parent next time. If they don't like it they should control their kids!

Robyn said...

Oh my gosh! I totally ran through a "nasty!" fart cloud at the supermarket yesterday. As I emerged - gagging - my fist thought was, "Oh man! Someone will think that was me!" Glad to know there are others out there who experience the same trauma. Congrats on your SITS day!

Mama Kat said...

I leave fart clouds everywhere I go. It's how I mark my territory.

blueviolet said...

That's a great list! I love your sense of humor!

Michelle said...

Ahhh... amen amen amen! :)

Kendra said...

All I can say is RIGHT ON!! Also, I LOVE your blog design.

Kendra said...

ohh...and the fart cloud? That was most likely my husband :)

Hairline Fracture said...

You hit the nail on the head with these!

Susan said...

Those are great! Happy SITS Day!

Aleta said...

Absolutely hilarious! Loved the last one - gross, but true!

Brandy said...

HAHAHA this is the greatest!! I love these!

The Boss Lady said...

I can't believe you mentioned #7...that is SO TOTALLY my pet peeve. Listen, Mr. Checker-boy, I don't care who you're going to ask out, or what you're doing tonight. Just scan my damn items and move it along! UGH!

Alicia said...

I agree with all your pet peeves! Looking forward to checking out your blog :)

Lindsay said...

Those are all hilarious! I definitely should do one of those for my blog, too. Happy SITS day!

ZenMom said...

An excellent list! I'm liking you more and more. :)

Noah's Mommy said...

haha...fart cloud...that is the best one...and oh so true...and half the time the culprit is my oh so cute...but oh so gross hubby....sigh

Megan said...

Visiting from SITS...

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've said!! Grr! Some people! :0P

Allison said...

Happy SITS Day! I agree with all of those! My fave was #3! I hate when people motion "hi" but then continue to talk on the phone! Great post!

Tranquility said...

Oh my gosh... I SOOOOO agree to every single one of those!

HAPPY SITS DAY - Congratulations!

Finding Normal said...

Happy SITS Day!
Hate those carts and I was so glad when they disappeared from my store a few months ago.
HATE the bluetooths and their dirty looks. Seriously. Get off the phone. You're at the grocery.
And #4...just ew. I always want to stop these people and remind them. I am, after all, a 4th grade teacher who is use to constantly asking if they washed. With soap. And the fact that grown ass adults skip it just sickens me.

littleeverydaythings said...

Enjoy your saucy day!

WheresMyAngels said...

Sorry about my "Fart Clouds", but my stomach hurts if i keep walking around the store holding them in;)

Jen said...

too funny

jubilee said...

Oh.Good.Gracious. I just had #10 happen to me last night!

Here from SITs and enjoyed your post.

Mari said...

I'm with you on #9! It's so inconsiderate when smokers hang out in high traffic areas where people (even children) are trying to get by and the smoke blows right in our faces. I mean, sure you're outdoors but use a little common sense.

Blicky Kitty said...

Great post~! Happy SITS day!

Lola Goetz said...

I hate it when people in traffic do something stupid and then try to ignore you. And the cashier/checker not even bothering to say hello to me. ugh!

LaTonya Yvette said...

Happy SITS Day

I Love #10, Too Funny!

JANE said...

OK, number 4 and 7 I am all over and I am still rolling on the floor on number 10!! Congrats and enjoy your SITS day!!

Lavender n Lattés said...

Love it! I agree completely! #1 is my biggest pet peeve, though...

april kennedy said...

loved this post! hope you have had a great day as featured blogger!

ConversationsWithACupcake said...

Yoo-Haloo! A Sister in the Gospel AND a SITSta? We must be kindred spirits.

Yay for your big day. I'm so glad to have found you! I'm excited to peruse the blog & get my giggle on!

Ciao.

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

Congrats on being the featured blogger!

Oh goodie... another word verification...

You crack me up!

Thanks for the laugh!

Z's Mom said...

That is a great list! :)

Hope you had a great SITS Day!!!

Anna Lefler said...

* snort *

Awesome list! I'm right there with you, especially on the fart cloud..ACK.

:^) Anna

Rachael said...

Oh my GOSH, I am totally in on the 3s especially - 3, 6 and 9 bug the crap out of me!

Katie said...

Fart cloud...ha ha. I love it.