FunnyMan (who claims he was the last of his kind) finally got a cell phone for his 15th birthday this month. He has unlimited text, which of course is a must-have for any normal, cool, and overly social teenager. Even though he loves, LOVES, LOVES texting his friends, he has also discovered the beauty of texting ME - his dear old mother - when he is downstairs and I am upstairs.
It's such a "time saver" and yelling from one end of the house to the other no longer becomes a means of communication. So, texting, you see actually provides for a much more "civil" environment, hahaha!
Anyway, so here I am, sitting in my bed with my laptop (ahh... love how technology aids to my lazy moments) and I get the following text from FunnyMan:
FM: PrettyPrettyPrincess wants to know what SPERM is...
I, of course laughed. And knowing just how prudish my 9 year old daughter can be (she doesn't even like to HEAR the word "kiss"), I sent the following response:
ME: Tell her it's the man's portion that makes a baby and she probably won't ask anymore.
Not less than two seconds later, I receive his report.
FM: LOL! You Called It!
Great... now if ALL of my birds and bees discussions could be taught via Text... hmmm.... Perhaps I could write a sex-ed seminar and teach it via Text...
Of course I'd encourage all class members to only practice safe text...[snickering]...tee hee...
Showing posts with label sex education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex education. Show all posts
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Buzz on the Birds and the Bees
Na-Na was born in Dec of '72. I came 11 mos & 2 wks later in Dec '73. Ray-Ray came 12 mos & 2 wks after that in Dec '74. (breather) Samsky came 1 1/2 yrs later in Jun '76. Shygirl came another year or so in Oct '77. (Breather) Wreckless came in April '79 and finally BabyCakes came in Jun '80.
Yes. My parents had 7 kids in 8 years. Can you say "Crazy"??? Yes. If you ask them, they will admit they knew what caused it.
Anyway, now you know why I thought ALL married couples were "Moms & Dads". You can also imagine the curiosity of "how" babies were made always being on my mind. I am sure this was a difficult question for my parents to answer. And bless their hearts, they believed in being honest. And I am sure I was not an easy child to pacify and probably asked "why?" or "how?" to anything they proposed.
[Caution: if you choose to believe that babies come from storks or a cabbage patch, discontinue the reading of this post NOW!]
I remember having not 1 but 2 "birds & bees" discussions with my mother. The first one, I think I was pretty small either right before kindergarten or during. I actually think it was Na-Na who asked, and I was just there to listen and learn. Basically all my mom said was that when a husband and wife get married they share a special bond; a bond that helps them grow closer together. And it's through that bond in which a baby is made. I remember Na-Na asking "How a baby is made?" not being satisfied with the entire "bond" answer. So my mom simply said, "a tiny seed from the Dad is placed in a tiny egg in the mommy's belly, and that forms the baby." We were content; for the meantime. I can't tell you the images that went through my mind with that, though. I could not figure out how the dad's seed could get to the mom's egg. And of course I pictured a chicken egg. It was all weird.
Then one day in kindergarten, I was playing with my friend Liza at recess. She had her Barbie and Ken Doll. She announced they were going to "make a baby". I remember thinking, "All right! Now I get to see how the seed gets to the egg!" But all she did was make them kiss. "That's how babies are made?" I inquired. "That's how," she said matter-of-factly. "They kiss!" Well, I knew Liza was smart. But I figured her now to be a genius. I mean it was all starting to make sense! The seed could pass to the egg because the Mommy and the Daddy would kiss and she would swallow his seed and it would go down to her belly where the egg awaited! Imagine that! Simply Amazing!
Fast forward to another day while I was still quite young. Again, around 5 or 6. Somehow this discussion ensued with Na-Na & Ray-Ray and I had told them what Liza had said. Na-Na didn't believe me because of what her friend Anita had told her. (Anita came from an "open" family. The dad even used the "john" with the door open when my sister was there playing!) Anyway, my mom must have overheard us or something setting in motion the 2nd "Birds & Bees" discussion I ever had. My mom was the kind of parent that insisted kids be taught correctly and liked using medical and propert terms. I guess she figured it was time since we were asking about it.
She clarified that babies were not made by kissing. "Does Not Compute" my brain wanted to say. "So, if not by kissing, HOW???". I believe she used the words "intercourse" and "private parts" and maybe even a few simple hand gestures. I can't recall the exact verbiage as my brain is still working to destroy that memory.
"That is preposterous! Outrageous! Even Apocalyptic!" I raged to myself. All right, maybe I didn't use those words... but I was in a bit of a shock. "Does Not Compute" was the mode my brain was still in. The only conclusion I could draw at that moment was that she must have been making the whole thing up. Plus, when would they have time to do something like "that"! Where? How? No. Kissing is definitely how it happened. It made more sense. Besides, did we not see our parents kissing ALL.THE.TIME.?
That was the theory I convinced myself to believe. Too bad the boys in the back of the bus during 2nd grade had to go and ruin it for me. Believe me, I got a sex-education on that route. I think that is where I first heard words like "S-E-X" and "hump". Crude to say the least.
Not to say that the whole logistics of the "how" thing still didn't boggle my mind for years to come. Quite the quagmire it became, actually.
I am so glad that when my own 4 year old came to me and asked how babies were made and I said, "In Heaven" he replied with, "ok" and ran off to play. Whew! Then years later I found this awesome Usborne book on where babies come from. That is what I pull out in my house when the question arises! Only ever had to use it once... so far!
Yes. My parents had 7 kids in 8 years. Can you say "Crazy"??? Yes. If you ask them, they will admit they knew what caused it.
Anyway, now you know why I thought ALL married couples were "Moms & Dads". You can also imagine the curiosity of "how" babies were made always being on my mind. I am sure this was a difficult question for my parents to answer. And bless their hearts, they believed in being honest. And I am sure I was not an easy child to pacify and probably asked "why?" or "how?" to anything they proposed.
[Caution: if you choose to believe that babies come from storks or a cabbage patch, discontinue the reading of this post NOW!]
I remember having not 1 but 2 "birds & bees" discussions with my mother. The first one, I think I was pretty small either right before kindergarten or during. I actually think it was Na-Na who asked, and I was just there to listen and learn. Basically all my mom said was that when a husband and wife get married they share a special bond; a bond that helps them grow closer together. And it's through that bond in which a baby is made. I remember Na-Na asking "How a baby is made?" not being satisfied with the entire "bond" answer. So my mom simply said, "a tiny seed from the Dad is placed in a tiny egg in the mommy's belly, and that forms the baby." We were content; for the meantime. I can't tell you the images that went through my mind with that, though. I could not figure out how the dad's seed could get to the mom's egg. And of course I pictured a chicken egg. It was all weird.
Then one day in kindergarten, I was playing with my friend Liza at recess. She had her Barbie and Ken Doll. She announced they were going to "make a baby". I remember thinking, "All right! Now I get to see how the seed gets to the egg!" But all she did was make them kiss. "That's how babies are made?" I inquired. "That's how," she said matter-of-factly. "They kiss!" Well, I knew Liza was smart. But I figured her now to be a genius. I mean it was all starting to make sense! The seed could pass to the egg because the Mommy and the Daddy would kiss and she would swallow his seed and it would go down to her belly where the egg awaited! Imagine that! Simply Amazing!
Fast forward to another day while I was still quite young. Again, around 5 or 6. Somehow this discussion ensued with Na-Na & Ray-Ray and I had told them what Liza had said. Na-Na didn't believe me because of what her friend Anita had told her. (Anita came from an "open" family. The dad even used the "john" with the door open when my sister was there playing!) Anyway, my mom must have overheard us or something setting in motion the 2nd "Birds & Bees" discussion I ever had. My mom was the kind of parent that insisted kids be taught correctly and liked using medical and propert terms. I guess she figured it was time since we were asking about it.
She clarified that babies were not made by kissing. "Does Not Compute" my brain wanted to say. "So, if not by kissing, HOW???". I believe she used the words "intercourse" and "private parts" and maybe even a few simple hand gestures. I can't recall the exact verbiage as my brain is still working to destroy that memory.
"That is preposterous! Outrageous! Even Apocalyptic!" I raged to myself. All right, maybe I didn't use those words... but I was in a bit of a shock. "Does Not Compute" was the mode my brain was still in. The only conclusion I could draw at that moment was that she must have been making the whole thing up. Plus, when would they have time to do something like "that"! Where? How? No. Kissing is definitely how it happened. It made more sense. Besides, did we not see our parents kissing ALL.THE.TIME.?
That was the theory I convinced myself to believe. Too bad the boys in the back of the bus during 2nd grade had to go and ruin it for me. Believe me, I got a sex-education on that route. I think that is where I first heard words like "S-E-X" and "hump". Crude to say the least.
Not to say that the whole logistics of the "how" thing still didn't boggle my mind for years to come. Quite the quagmire it became, actually.
I am so glad that when my own 4 year old came to me and asked how babies were made and I said, "In Heaven" he replied with, "ok" and ran off to play. Whew! Then years later I found this awesome Usborne book on where babies come from. That is what I pull out in my house when the question arises! Only ever had to use it once... so far!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)