They "fit". They are soooo similar. They both love writing. They both love writing poetry. They both can laugh at themselves and do crazy stuff and dress how they feel comfortable without worrying about fashion or what's cool or not cool. They both love music and the arts. They had good -- really good conversations. And they both had standards. They are both good kids and pretty much stay out of trouble. He'd go hang out with her family; she'd hang out with us. True, she was a bit more emotional -- but she's a teenage girl!!! She is supposed to be, right? Plus she is a smart girl with goals - and not like chasing butterfly goals... like REAL goals.
He liked being with her and being around her. He enjoyed her company, and his spirits were always up when she was around. He hated it if someone picked on her; and he'd come to her defense. It was cute.
But then... she went away... Well, not really. It's just that in the Fall, they started their sophomore year at different high schools. Then she turned 16 shortly thereafter and could start dating. Maybe that's it -- maybe she wanted to date for *real*, not this puppy-love business. Which, I understand. I mean, I think it is good for her. And they still talked and hung out, sort of.
Then I went off for my Menaissance weekend. One night while out of town, I get a text from FunnyMan. "Mom... hope you're having fun. Be safe." I was like, "Wha-?" Something wasn't right. This wasn't like him. I called.
ME: What are you doing?
FunnyMan: Sitting in the car.
ME: Why?
FM: I just want to be alone.
ME: Why? What happened.
FM: Nothing.
ME: Are you sure?
FM: yup.
ME: You're sitting in a car at 9:30pm on a Friday night just because you wanna be alone?
FM: Uh-huh.
ME: Anything you wanna talk about?
FM: Nope.
ME: Ok...well...um... you should go inside now.
FM: okay...
My heart broke just a smidge for him. I am not sure what happened... but I know it had something to do with the FriendGirl. And when I came back... there was no more Friend Girl. No more pigtails. No more big eyes with that glimmer of sparkle. No more wide grins and contagious laughter. And he wasn't upbeat as normal. I think he went through a little depression. No more being "funny" all the time. No more enthusiasm for school or his grades. And other girls have crushed on him, and made it no secret, and he has no interest whatsoever.
Could heartache over a first love impact a 15 year old so? I wondered. Then, I remembered my first love... which wasn't hard to recall since I had just spent time with him at my Menaissance! Yes... a first-love-turned-heartache *can* crush you. My first love still has a piece of my heart. And at age 35, I was still twitterpated when I saw him again sixteen years later.
So, as a Mother, I know I should **butt out**. But also as a Mother, I want to see my son be happy. I know that there might, possibly, probably be another "FriendGirl" one day. But for now... why can't she just COME BACK???
I know... I probably care way too much. I need to let my little birdie fly solo on this one, eh?
11 comments:
The good thing is that he will soon be 16 and be able to date. That will hopefully restore balance to the force. They will probably go out on a date and maybe begin all over again. If not, there are lots of girls out there who are probably counting down the days till his birthday. Eades told me today that he couldn't wear the shirt I had picked out for him because Page from his class doesn't like those colors. I was like, 'You're six, you're wearing the shirt.' Why do girls have to have such power over them?
Greenolive, don't question the force or power we have, just use it for good.
Emma, you have a really good-looking son there. He will have his heart broken, and he will probably break hearts too. As you are his Mother, you will still need to be there for him! A Mothers love can never be replaced and I'm sure that you will always be his #1 girl!
That is so sweet! He is such a doll, he won't have any problem finding other "friend-girls"!
Did you jinx this by being a little too enamored of your sons friendgirl? Red flags go up in a boys mind when moms are VERY enthusiastic about the girl their son is seeing. Like the one Seinfeld episode where Jerry has new concerns about the girl he is dating because his mom really likes her.
Neither of my kids have gone through this yet...my oldest just started dating her first real boyfriend and I hope he is the one because I couldn't stand it if her heart got broken!!
well, i hope she doesn't read your blog, because this might be just the thing to send her running the other way.
i hope that things work out for funnyman. maybe he'll meet someone who makes him (and you) forget all about the friendgirl.
Kass got a "lets be friends" text. I remember it clearly. He was sitting in the living room and looked up from his phone with sadness in his voice, and said "I guess we are just being friends now. She wants to date someone else." She was cute, but also young. Kass had been 16 a while and she just turned. They'd been hanging out at her house for almost a year and a half. But she is one of the girls who writes to him on his Mission, even after a year. But he leaves for Iraq a few months after he gets home. I don't know many girls who wait 3 years for a guy. Brie has her friend picked out for him.
Ahhh we feel the same way. As a mom, my heart breaks when my kid gets their heart broken. My boys won't tell me that stuff but Desi will. She's dated quite the rainbow of fruit colors. One was a nice guy but she was more in love with the thought of being in love, she later told me. One she trusted very much and he ruined it and she broke it off with him. He was not the boy any of us thought he was and I'm thankful that when he showed his true colors Dez ran the other way. Current boy is sweet, but he goes on a mission in a few months, she goes away to college...it's tough. I think we'll mourn over this one, though I do wish she'd just *date* around and have fun w/o all the deep feelings but what're ya gonna do? Kids pair off..it's natural and normal and hard NOT to do. I paired off when I was 16 and married the dude a few yrs later--so I will never dismiss the "young love" stuff that a lot of moms do. It's real. Even if it's not the norm to last. And those depressed feelings are as real and deep as they are in adults, sometimes realer and deeper. Is realer a word? I don't think it is. "MORE REAL" is probably a wiser way to state it. ;) It's late. goodnight.
He'll be dating soon and won't have any problems finding girls to date. He's fun and he's a good kid. Wow, I'm so glad I don't have to go through that stage again :)
that funnyman is adorable. heartbreak sucks. the mother of my first boyfriend liked me a lot. She pulled me aside once after we broke up and said "You let Brad be an idiot during high school but stick around because I want you to be the one he ends up with." Didn't work out. But we did sort of give it a second round after his mission. You never know...
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