Ok - so for the long-haul followers, you remember The Friend Girl... the puppy-love crush FunnyMan had. Well, he was too young to date or have a "Girlfriend" so we called her "The FriendGirl". What can I say? I liked her. I mean I REALLY liked her.
They "fit". They are soooo similar. They both love writing. They both love writing poetry. They both can laugh at themselves and do crazy stuff and dress how they feel comfortable without worrying about fashion or what's cool or not cool. They both love music and the arts. They had good -- really good conversations. And they both had standards. They are both good kids and pretty much stay out of trouble. He'd go hang out with her family; she'd hang out with us. True, she was a bit more emotional -- but she's a teenage girl!!! She is supposed to be, right? Plus she is a smart girl with goals - and not like chasing butterfly goals... like REAL goals.
He liked being with her and being around her. He enjoyed her company, and his spirits were always up when she was around. He hated it if someone picked on her; and he'd come to her defense. It was cute.
But then... she went away... Well, not really. It's just that in the Fall, they started their sophomore year at different high schools. Then she turned 16 shortly thereafter and could start dating. Maybe that's it -- maybe she wanted to date for *real*, not this puppy-love business. Which, I understand. I mean, I think it is good for her. And they still talked and hung out, sort of.
Then I went off for my Menaissance weekend. One night while out of town, I get a text from FunnyMan. "Mom... hope you're having fun. Be safe." I was like, "Wha-?" Something wasn't right. This wasn't like him. I called.
ME: What are you doing?
FunnyMan: Sitting in the car.
FM: I just want to be alone.
ME: Why? What happened.
ME: Are you sure?
ME: You're sitting in a car at 9:30pm on a Friday night just because you wanna be alone?
ME: Anything you wanna talk about?
ME: Ok...well...um... you should go inside now.
My heart broke just a smidge for him. I am not sure what happened... but I know it had something to do with the FriendGirl. And when I came back... there was no more Friend Girl. No more pigtails. No more big eyes with that glimmer of sparkle. No more wide grins and contagious laughter. And he wasn't upbeat as normal. I think he went through a little depression. No more being "funny" all the time. No more enthusiasm for school or his grades. And other girls have crushed on him, and made it no secret, and he has no interest whatsoever.
Could heartache over a first love impact a 15 year old so? I wondered. Then, I remembered my first love... which wasn't hard to recall since I had just spent time with him at my Menaissance! Yes... a first-love-turned-heartache *can* crush you. My first love still has a piece of my heart. And at age 35, I was still twitterpated when I saw him again sixteen years later.
So, as a Mother, I know I should **butt out**. But also as a Mother, I want to see my son be happy. I know that there might, possibly, probably be another "FriendGirl" one day. But for now... why can't she just COME BACK???
I know... I probably care way too much. I need to let my little birdie fly solo on this one, eh?