An Apology, Excuse, and Explanation

First off I want to apologize for not being very visible around the blogosphere as of late. But -- I can explain. Really, I can.

First off, I made it through finals back in December. I thought I would have a lot of time to blog and relax during the holiday break. Wrong. Because then I had to get my tree up and get my house ready for family to come and finish all of the last minute shopping and so on and so forth. I kept thinking that after Christmas I would have a little time before school started back up again. But, dear readers I got sick. I had a bad sinus infection and just felt like crap pretty much that entire week.

Then it was back to school. I am now officially done with all of my generals and 100% of my courses are devoted to my majors: Music and English. And don't be one of those people -- the ones that roll their eyes when I say "music". I don't know why people think music is easy. It's not. But that's an entirely a different post, of which I will indulge you at some point in the near future.

Anyway -- this semester I am taking four classes. I have "Intro to Writing Fiction", "Music Theory II", "Musicianship/Sight Singing & Ear-training", and "Private Piano Instruction". Mon-Thurs I leave straight from work around 5pm and head to campus for classes that start at 5:30pm. I am done by 8pm each night. And then I head home for about 2-3 hours of homework a night. On Fridays I take a long lunch hour for one class I have and then at some point throughout the weekend I try to catch up or tackle any homework or major writing assignments that I haven't gotten to.

On top of that, I have family stuff and church obligations as well. Man, no wonder I am tired! So, dear readers, don't take it personally if I haven't stopped by lately. I promise, I will be back to catch up.

First, I have to figure out when to take down the Christmas tree. Yes...it's still up. Yes, I know... don't say it.

Recently I happened to mention to someone that I needed to work on some blog posts. Her reply was a simple "Why don't you just stop blogging? Wouldn't that be easier?" ~GASP!~ Surely, she jests, right?

Some people blog to keep family members across the miles informed of their goings on. Others blog for self-therapy. Some use it as a journal, while others view it as purely entertaining. I agree. I do find the benefits of all of the aforementioned reasons. But mainly, I blog because I am a writer.

I read an article about a year ago that talked about the labels we give ourselves. Do we call ourselves a musician or someone who plays an instrument? Do we consider ourselves a crafter or do we say we just like crafts? The article went on to say that the way we label ourselves often times has a direct correlation to how successful we are in that particular area. I decided right then and there I was going to stop saying "someday I hope to be a writer" and instead say, "I am a writer."

It doesn't matter that I haven't actually been paid for anything yet. It doesn't matter that I haven't been selected by a publishing house (I want to avoid self-publishing if possible). What matters is that I write. Just like any skill that requires hours of practice to become good, the same is true with writing. If you ask a virtuoso how many hours a day she spends practicing her violin, she will say somewhere between 4 and 10 hours a day.

So, you see, this isn't "just blogging". It's how I "practice". It's how I hone my skill. And reading blogs helps me to gain perspective, learn techniques and pick up on some other creative ideas.

While I may have had to cut back on the amount of posts I have ready to publish or the amount of blogs I can visit on any given day, I can't see myself forsaking the writing any time in the near future.

That being said - I am off to my writing class! My one true hope is that when I walk in, my instructor will have chosen to wear a bra. I am sort of getting tired of seeing her girls grazing the top of her belt. Not a pretty look.

Till next time my faithful readers.

XOXO
Emma

The Cat Hates My Bra

Now before you start thinking something ridiculous, like I tried to put a bra on my cat, let me explain.

Recently in the same week, the underwire broke in 2 of my bras and began precariously stabbing and poking me in places I'd rather not be stabbed and poked. So, as any other normal woman would do in a time like this, I had to pull the wire out.

Well, this was a bit of a pain since the onset of the second case began while driving to class. Once on campus, I made a mad dash to the ladies room, took off the thing, momentarily surrendering the girls to freedom, and proceeded to pull the wire out of the hole from whence it poked. The problem was that the break only occurred in one cup. I would have loved to pull the wire from the other cup, but there was no way to do it without a pocket knife or some other MacGuyverish method. Nope. That underwire was airtight and sealed for life. So, back the girls went into subjugation, albeit in lopsided form, and off I went to class.

And then, as if the angels were smiling down on me from heaven, the note on the classroom door indicated that class had been canceled for the evening. Now, normally, I would have been a bit irritated that I had left work a little early to make the twenty minute drive to campus and fuss over parking just to find out it had been canceled. However, on this particular day, I had my girly appointment beforehand, which was actually a little further south than the school. So, in essence, class that night was actually on my way home.

Anyway, so now that the night had left me free, I decided to head on over to Kohl's as they are one of the only places with a high probability of having my bra size in stock. I go in, I search for the bras and come up a bit short. I can find two bras one size too small. Well, actually, the size I normally buy seems to be one size too big. I wish they sold a size in between, as that would be perfect. Anyway -- like I said before, this was the second underwire breaking in a week, so I was a bit desperate, and tired. I snatched the 2 nearly-too-small ones from the rack and make the purchase.

Once home I changed into my jammies and settled in for some homework. Where were the bras you ask? Okay, here is where I admit to being a little negligent. They were still in the Kohl's bag, which hung on my bed post. I suppose I was in a hurry to relax and get something to eat when I got home, that removing the tags and tucking the bras away in their proper lingerie drawer seemed a task a bit more arduous than I wanted to take on at the time. Hence, there they hung.

Fast forward to the morning after. No, not THAT morning after. The morning after I had hung the bag with the bras on the bedpost! Okay, so I am up and getting ready for work, etc. and I go to retrieve one of the bras and I notice the bag had been tossed from the bedpost and both bras shamelessly strewn across the floor.

"What in the world?" I wondered. I went to retrieve the first one and upon grabbing it noticed it was wet! I flipped on the overhead light to get a better view, and right there in the middle of the inside of the cup was a bright yellow pee stain! I'm not gonna lie. I was a bit taken aback at the obvious assault one of the kittens had inflicted upon my cup! Looking at the evidence, this was obviously a hate crime; an act of violence brought upon my bra. But the question is WHY?

As I quickly checked the second bra and to my relief found no urination, I began to piece together the logic formed in the 5 centimeters of my kitty's brain. I am pretty sure I even know which cat did it. This cat, the suspect, as I now refer to her, has demonstrated slightly quirky behavior since coming to our home.

For instance, she doesn't like to be picked up or held and is afraid of everything. On the other hand, she clamours for attention too. She will walk up to me just to be near me and start purring. I haven't even offered her a scratch behind the ears and she's purring! One move to reach for her and she dashes out of sight. I suppose that might be enough evidence right there to prove I have magical powers. Yes, the power to comfort my kitty from a distance.

The only thing I am left to assume is that she became extremely jealous of the bra, sensing that it too held magical powers. I mean, it's true that the bra is there to offer me support. And it's something I keep close to my heart. It's like a good friend that way. And the magical part? Well, I don't know many other vessels wherein I can roll the girls up and tuck them in and yet somehow make them look "normal", do you? Yep. Purely magical.

All I can say is this behavior better not keep up. I mean, she can't go around peeing on every new object I bring into the house.

Love, not hate, kitty. Love.

18 Hours? What's Up With That?

You know how much I loathe, how much I absolutely despise taking the Double-Dang twins bra shopping, Right? Bleh. NOT.FUN. This is no ordinary shopping experience, mind you. It usually entails traipsing in and out of a plethora of department stores, sifting and sorting through a myriad of styles, looking for something acceptable (underwire, wide straps, petals, etc.) in my size to harness these girls o' mine. Anyway -- 'nuff said about that!

While I was looking recently, I happened to see something that I had seen at least a hundred times before, but actually "noticed" for the first time. The Playtex 18 hour Bra. Yes. They exist. I don't know how long they've been in business, but I do know it's been since I've been lockin' & loadin'. So that's what... at least... Twenty- Three something years. And here's what I'm thinking... 18 Hours? Really? Man that is ROUGH! I mean, Who needs to wear a bra for 18 hours straight?

That is the million dollar question that has been on my mind for days now, since my little escapade down Lingerie Lane. I realize this little investigation isn't going to bring resolution to some cold case or feed a starving child in Africa or anything. But, I do know for a cotton-pickin' Jimmy-John fact that I WILL sleep better once I get it all out. Ergo, I might as well obsess over it now so I can move on.

I know. Out.Of.Control. Right?

Fine. But let's answer the question first, shall we? What woman needs to wear a bra for that long? I mean, that'd be like wearing a bra from 6 am until midnight that same day. Talk about Brutal!

So, my first thought was: Prostitute. But then I realized they probably get to take theirs off a bit more frequently than most women in an 18 hour period. My second thought was a doctor or nurse; someone who is working long shifts on a regular basis. I dunno... who else? Don't enquiring minds want to know? I know I do!

What woman wears a bra for 18 hours straight on enough of a regular basis that it inspired Playtex to make a bra for her? Did a team of female astronauts approach Playtex? "Yeah... we're goin' to the moon and we won't be back for a bit. So, if you could design a bra for us, that'd be totally cool." And of course, their response... "Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like it's Rocket Science!" Then again, would astronauts really need to wear bras? I mean, for once they have [lack of] gravity on their side! That settles it. I'm moving to space. Anyone with me?

Out.Of.Control. I tell ya!

Anyway, have you seen this thing? This is not for the dainty Almost-Enoughs or Barely-Theres. Oh no. This thing is like the workhorse of all bras. The Mother Ship, if you will. For reals... check it out {{HERE}}.

Man... I don't know how they do it! My bra keeps my girls in check throughout my day, and even on my "long" day (straight from work to a 4 hour class) I only have that thing on for 15 hours, tops! And it's gotta come off as soon as I hit the door at the end of the day.

Seriously though... 18 hours?

Gravity

The other morning, I got up to take my oldest to school early. I got outta bed, threw on my yoga pants, zipped up my running jacket and grabbed my shoes.

As I was passing the full-length mirror, checking myself out from a side-view, I says to myself, "Self," I says. "You look a little skinnier when you don't wear a bra."

Then I turned for a frontal view and added, "Oh...it's because they sag..."

Dang gravity!

Guess I'll keep wearing the bra, then.

Discovery of the Bra-Pockets

So a few weeks ago, Yaya (click here) was talking about sitting through a class when a woman pulled her cell phone out of her bra! It made me think... "ooops..... I do that!"

It's true. But, let me explain...

It all started with this:

I LOVE my Champion Sports bra! It has a "double dry" design to keep my Double Dang-sized girls from getting too sweaty while I work out. Not to mention that it offers AWESOME support! And all for $42!!! I was so ecstatic to find one in my size (I got it at Kohl's).

The problem began when I started running/walking trails. My work-out jackets *do* have pockets. But, I was worried that my phone, my iPod, my Driver's License and Keys would fall out of them. So, I quickly discovered that I could tuck each of these items in my handy-dandy Champion Action Tech Double Dry Sports Bra! Luckily I have enough of "the girls" to help keep these items in place too!

I simply turn my phone on "vibrate" and tuck it into the "left pocket". This way, I can tell if someone is calling, even with my ear phones in. My keys and DL get tucked into the "right pocket, while the iPod gets turned into the "locked" position, and you guess it, snuggled right between "the girls" (TMI???)

Besides... who wants to wear one of these lovely things?

Not ME!!!

Anyway, it has become such a habit, that once when I had to run errands and didn't have a pocket, I threw my cell phone in my bra. I totally forgot about it until I was at the check-out lane, and my "left girl" started ringing. I pull the phone out, and the check-out girl throws me a "you just pulled that outta where?" look. Ya - she did.

Also, one time in band camp after spending all morning cleaning the house, I needed to call someone. I could not find my phone. I looked EVERYWHERE. I looked on the night stand behind my bed. I looked on the kitchen counters. I checked the bathroom. I dumped my purse out -- twice! Finally, I had one of the kids use the house phone to call it. I about jumped when my "left girl" went off. I totally forgot I put it in there. True story.

Some women keep their cigs or wads of cash in their bra... Me? My phone. But I will try to limit it to only when I am exercising.

My kids think I am certifiable.

Welcome to My Bra

When I leave the house, 4LeggedCreature can't stand it. She hates being alone. In an effort to comfort herself, she will find any article of clothing I have left behind and drag it around the house. Often times I come home to find her snuggled up on the sofa with said article of clothing.

I try not to leave clothes out. But I do occasionally throw my pj's over the edge of my bed, or leave my hoodie on the bench by the front door.

Once, I left one of my bras on the doorknob in the bathroom. During this time, my sofa was also positioned right in front of the big window in the living room. The dog loved hanging out on the sofa because it allowed her the perfect view of the sidewalk and street. This would ensure that no one would get left out. She barked at everyone and everything that moved.

Ok, so back to that day; the day of the "bra incident". I came home from work, pulled into my driveway, and noticed something BIG & WHITE in the middle of the window.

"What is that?" I wondered. I headed toward the front door only to realize that it was my Double-Dang sized bra hanging over the back of the sofa, right there on display for the whole world to see. To make matters worse, the local church ladies had apparently stopped by and taped the monthly calendar to my front door.

I immediately wondered if they came before or after this horrific display. And if they came after, what must they have thought? "Perhaps it's a sign she open for business." Oh boy, I could just hear it now. With my new "Welcome to my Bra" greeting, I was sure to be labeled the new town hussy. Isn't that what newly divorcees become anyway?

Well luckily, nothing was ever mentioned. Though, I did notice both the mailman and garbage collector start to smile my way a bit more!

Me & The "Girls"

So, the "girls" were in desperate need of some new support. The old arrangement wasn't working out anymore. Tired and worn out!!! Thus I decided that we needed to go shopping! Yes the "girls" & I went Bra-shopping!!! Oh boy what fun!!! WRONG!!!

I have had a bra fitting before, and let me just give a little shout-out to that fitting room gal and the "close" friendship that formed during that experience! Sorry, I digress.

I HATE that I usually have to pay $60 for a really good bra! However, there's something said for great support, right? Here is the criteria the "girls" require when bra-shopping...

1) individual cups...none of this sports bra type stuff that creates the Uni-Boob (girls...you know what I am talking about).

2) Thick & Comfy straps, so they don't dig into my shoulders.

3) A Little extra thickness, to disguise those "frigid" moments...

4) White. I'm just a simple gal. Maybe once in a while I'll do another color - but no prints.

5) No Lace. It shows through my shirts, and ends up looking like lots of bumps underneath. Who needs that?

6) Lifts & Separates! Gotta do these girls proud, after all, right?

7) 3 hook-minimum to offer the best support.

8) Underwire a must! Helps define "shape" where there once was shape on it's own (pre childbirth). Plus, who doesn't love getting "wanded" at the airport security checkpoint???

9) Additional Back Support. Now, I don't know if this really works. But I LOVE the bras that claim to offer it.

10) Under $60!!! [screeeeech!] What did she say???

It's true... it is my goal to secure supportive shelter for the "girls" for less than $60. I know... It's pretty difficult to do once you reach the Double Dang sizes. But, I make every attempt to do so, before caving in to the price of death! I mean, I won't forsake the "criteria" for cost, don't get me wrong. I just wanna good deal.

With that in mind, I started my quest off the other day at you-guessed-it, Wal-Mart. PrettyPrettyPrincess was with me and was PrettyPrettyEmbarrassed that we were even in the lingerie dept. "That one looks big enough," she points out. "Nope," I responded. "Too Small." "How 'bout that one? It looks HUGE," she offered. To no avail.

Next on my list was Kohl's (which by the way is like my FAV dept store!!!). I arrive at the location, "girls" in tow, optimistic that "my store" will come through for me. Young-Guy Worker was doing inventory. He nervously watches me. His cheeks begin to redden. I feel bad for him. I search out every bra on every rack, leaving his "section" for last. Finally, I must approach. "Must be every guy's dream job!" I say, looking at him smiling. "Uh...uh..." he stammers. "I guess. I mean, maybe. Um. I mean, for some guys." I laugh. "I'll just get out of your way," he murmurs before taking off at the speed of light. I think I almost made him cry.

Needless to say, I found the bra. Drats - only one left! But - hey - whatcha gonna do? I take the one they have and promise the "girls" another trip soon. And it was only $43 on sale!!! Whoo-Hoo!!!!!

I was sooo happy, it made my bosom swell (ok - bad joke!)...

Unlocking the Code (PG-13)

Welcome to Another Festive Friday with Fun Stuff on the Blog! Hope this one doesn't offend anyone! Enjoy!!!