Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Me & The "Girls"

So, the "girls" were in desperate need of some new support. The old arrangement wasn't working out anymore. Tired and worn out!!! Thus I decided that we needed to go shopping! Yes the "girls" & I went Bra-shopping!!! Oh boy what fun!!! WRONG!!!

I have had a bra fitting before, and let me just give a little shout-out to that fitting room gal and the "close" friendship that formed during that experience! Sorry, I digress.

I HATE that I usually have to pay $60 for a really good bra! However, there's something said for great support, right? Here is the criteria the "girls" require when bra-shopping...

1) individual cups...none of this sports bra type stuff that creates the Uni-Boob (girls...you know what I am talking about).

2) Thick & Comfy straps, so they don't dig into my shoulders.

3) A Little extra thickness, to disguise those "frigid" moments...

4) White. I'm just a simple gal. Maybe once in a while I'll do another color - but no prints.

5) No Lace. It shows through my shirts, and ends up looking like lots of bumps underneath. Who needs that?

6) Lifts & Separates! Gotta do these girls proud, after all, right?

7) 3 hook-minimum to offer the best support.

8) Underwire a must! Helps define "shape" where there once was shape on it's own (pre childbirth). Plus, who doesn't love getting "wanded" at the airport security checkpoint???

9) Additional Back Support. Now, I don't know if this really works. But I LOVE the bras that claim to offer it.

10) Under $60!!! [screeeeech!] What did she say???

It's true... it is my goal to secure supportive shelter for the "girls" for less than $60. I know... It's pretty difficult to do once you reach the Double Dang sizes. But, I make every attempt to do so, before caving in to the price of death! I mean, I won't forsake the "criteria" for cost, don't get me wrong. I just wanna good deal.

With that in mind, I started my quest off the other day at you-guessed-it, Wal-Mart. PrettyPrettyPrincess was with me and was PrettyPrettyEmbarrassed that we were even in the lingerie dept. "That one looks big enough," she points out. "Nope," I responded. "Too Small." "How 'bout that one? It looks HUGE," she offered. To no avail.

Next on my list was Kohl's (which by the way is like my FAV dept store!!!). I arrive at the location, "girls" in tow, optimistic that "my store" will come through for me. Young-Guy Worker was doing inventory. He nervously watches me. His cheeks begin to redden. I feel bad for him. I search out every bra on every rack, leaving his "section" for last. Finally, I must approach. "Must be every guy's dream job!" I say, looking at him smiling. "Uh...uh..." he stammers. "I guess. I mean, maybe. Um. I mean, for some guys." I laugh. "I'll just get out of your way," he murmurs before taking off at the speed of light. I think I almost made him cry.

Needless to say, I found the bra. Drats - only one left! But - hey - whatcha gonna do? I take the one they have and promise the "girls" another trip soon. And it was only $43 on sale!!! Whoo-Hoo!!!!!

I was sooo happy, it made my bosom swell (ok - bad joke!)...

111 comments:

Megs said...

hilarious!!!

Ruthykins said...

hmm, maybe i should go to kohl's. there's one in reno, but i don't know how to get there. maybe nursemom does and can take me on a monday when i have extra cash. hopefully no men will be anywhere in the general vicinity.

Tinabean said...

I am so right there with you on this one.
My girls are also DD & I HATE bra shopping.
I see all the cutsie little bras & want them, but do you think they make them in my size or support?
NO NEVER!!!
I'm a bit bitter about this.
Plus we have to pay mucho bucks for these stupid bras that we hate.
Old grandma bras because they are so big.
I need a reduction!
I'll stop bitching now.

Susie said...

Kohl's is the only place I can find that criteria at a reasonable price. The only drawback...they don't last very long. I have to replace them at least once sometimes twice a year.

Willeyes said...

You are hilarious. That poor kid, you probably scarred him for life...or at least until he gets married:)

"The Queen in Residence" said...

The horror of being a girl. I loved this one. We must have had the same experiences with the bra fitter cause it was horrible.
You are in UT - check out the Bali Bra outlet in Draper. It used to be called the VF Factory, but is something differnt. Anyway, good bras for good prices and I usually hit it about the time that they are having the buy 3 get a 4th on free.
I am not there yet with my daughter but the sheer thought of it gives me chills.

Mrs. S said...

I have almost the exact same criteria! No joke. Except I like nude-colored so I can wear it under white or black & no peek-a-boo color shown through. But I, too, do not understand lace bras?? what?

Anyway, you left a comment on my blog about getting serious about weight loss. Just wondering what you do for a workout or how you've lost so much weight?

Tulsi said...

TOO FUNNY. I will admit some envy. Ok, alot of envy. I hate lace bra's, too.

You also look like sisters of one of the guys I dated in High School with your hair curly. I liked them a lot. I know where Myrna is, but not Sylvia.

Cute hair both ways. A poll by "people", who ever they are - said curls make a girl more approachable. I've not conducted a scientific study. I'll leave that to the "people" .

purplehaze said...

To funny! I don't have that problem but I don't like lace on a bra either it is way to itchy! I hated when my mom took me for my first bra and the lady in the dressing room, oh the memories!! (Or is that nightmares?)

Ronnica said...

Being well-endowed myself, I totally understand. I went bra shopping with my mom one time (she was going to pay!) and I gave up in frusteration. It's something I just put off and put off. Speaking of which, it's about time...

Du Webb Family said...

i'm just going to say, "meat hooks". i think he did get a little embarressed, way to go!

Ashley said...

My girls and I need to go shopping soon, too!

Meaghan said...

Sounds like a blast, NOT. Just checking out your blog :) Have a great week and no more bra shopping.

xoxo
Meaghan
www.cancerlost.blogspot.com

Amy said...

I feel the exact same way! I have the same problems!!! I have found a great bra at Target for $15 YEAH!! I was excited it is white all cotton and underwire! I have spent allot more but I HATE to go Bra shoppping it stinks!!!

Jennifer Rae said...

Oh no ou didn't....WOW

RhondaLue said...

Ok all us Double Dangs can relate! Sometimes when I am checking out the clearance racks at Target and see AA or "nearly B" water bras for like $2.00 I'm jealous it's so easy for some people to grab a bra and grab it for cheap.

But I wouldn't change mu-girls. I just wish bras for large chested women were
1. prettier
2. cheaper
3. more available
4. prettier
5. cheaper
6. would last longer

oh, and I hate lace. Not only is it itchy to ME but scratchy to ma man too. lol

The Happy Mom said...

Yes, I'm with you on the lace. It makes you have bumpy boobs. The only time you should wear a lace bra is if that's *all* you're wearing. ;) Glad your bra pilgrimage had a happy ending-yeah Kohl's!

Momma Trish said...

Heh! I remember several years ago trying to find a boustiere to wear under my wedding dress. I went into one store, where the sales lady insisted on trying to stuff my fairly ample bosom into a teensy weensy cup size, insisting that I was extremely small busted, that teensy weensy was the right size for me and that I'd been wearing the wrong size all these years. I did not buy anything. I went elsewhere where, lo and behold, my usual size was found to fit perfectly. Crazy!

I hate lingerie shopping.

Rachel Ann said...

OMG!! That poor salesboy...:)

Lilly's Life said...

This is hilarious. Love your blog.

Columbia Lily said...

yeah...I pretty much wear bras until they fall completely apart before I go bra shopping, because it is the absolute bottom of my list of things to do.

jori-o said...

I too, unfortunately, can relate. It is a sad state of affairs for us "big" girls!

trashalou said...

I'm with you on all of it! Thank heavens for Marks and Spencer stores. If I ever leave the UK I am taking them with me!

price
cut
colour
AND comfort

NeverADullMoment said...

I totally agree! And why is it that there seems to always be only one left?! I know there aren't that many double dang women in the vicinity of your particular store. Maybe those little semi-perverted male workers o the bra section, hides all of the extra because he likes watching double dang women shop for blogs. The less available...the more visits! Congrats on your day!

Givinya De Elba said...

Bra shopping is a nightmare. "E" is for Elephant, by the way. And Enormous.

jewelstreet said...

Bra shopping is one of the most horrid duties ever. I'm one of those inbetween sizes which makes it even worse.

I'm hoping someone puts a little shelf in one sometime soon so the girls can take a break and save my shoulders.

April said...

Loved this post! Very funny!

Kimmie0270 said...

I hate bra shopping... which is why I haven't done it in ages...

The Mommy said...

Super cute blog!!! Found you through SITs of course :) Very very cute, love your writing. :)

HeatherY said...

I despise bra shopping! Congrats on finding a good deal!

Mimi said...

I can NEVER find one that fits!

momto1 said...

Pre-childbirth I was in the Double Dang crowd too. I do remember the days shopping for bras and trying on all the ones that pinch, puff, flatten, and point. Totally right--it is a miracle if one finds a bra this size under $60.00!

And let's not even talk about what happens to the Double Dang's when pregnant!

Congrats on your SITs day!

Reluctant Housewife said...

I wear an H cup - that's 4 Ds - all natural... I need a GOOD bra. I've paid anywhere from $135-$155. They're probably most expensive article of clothing I own. But worth every penny. I can put one on and forget all about the girls.

Kaytie said...

Sometimes I wish I could wear those cute bras they have in the smaaller sizes - little demi cups with cute prints - but mine are all business. I feel your pain!

KC Mom said...

I just can't take my girls anywhere anymore!! I'm thinking you might want to open a bra shop.

Heather said...

Oh, I once grabbed a bra off the rack at WalMart. It was Fruit of the Loom and it was my size and it claimed to be a "T-shirt Bra" or some such promise of extreme comfort and it was UNDER SEVEN DOLLARS. I'm a larger and buxom type chick, so even finding a bra in my size on the rack ANYWHERE was exciting. (The girls in Vicki's Secret cringe in fear if ever I dare darken their doorway with my ladies!) Having a cart full of groceries as I did at the time, and my kiddo with me as well, I threw caution to the wind and bought it without trying it on first.

Went home, tried it on and it was HEAVENLY. I wore that sucker OUT. Seriously, I literally wore it out, in a matter of two months. I had cheerfully strapped in to the fantabulous, cheap bra, headed out on my merry way, when it rebelled against my chest and tried to kill me. Yep, you know what I'm talking about - the underwire escaped on one side and began viciously stabbing me in the boob. Yee-OW!

Serves me right for buying a bra at Walmart, I suppose! I definitely got my $6.49 worth, though! :D

Cheers!

Debbie Y. said...

My gosh, are your children beautiful or what? I just saw them off to the side of your blog. Amazing, stunning! You're not so bad yourself, but the gene's turned out good, didn't they?

I kept waiting for you to say who your friends were that you took shopping with you. Had no idea who the girls were until halfway through the read, boy do I feel dumb.

Happy SITS day to you!!!!

mrsbear said...

Those are some useful bra buying tips. Congrats on the bargain...and embarrassing the sales clerk, you get extra points for that.

Melissa Lester said...

For years I thought I was a 36C, and what a difference it made when I was fitted and realized I'm a 34DD. The fit is so much better now! When I stopped nursing my fourth baby, my gift to myself was all new bras. I purchased a few from VS (love the Angels line) and found several at Kohls too. Those Angels bras are pretty high maintenance, though. You are not supposed to fold them, so I hang them in my closet. For travel, I've teased my husband that I need to have special foam inserts crafted so I can carry them in a special pink briefcase. I am needing to get a few more bras now, since my new ones are not so new now.

cat said...

Yikes, I so understand this. But it seems that breastfeeding 3 kids not only altered the sizes but also the shape.

Creative Junkie said...

Well, what kind was it? I am in desperate need of good bras, being a card carrying member of the Double Dang club myself.

I rank bra shopping right up there with having my intestines yanked out and wrapped around my neck.

lmerie said...

Over from SITS . . .Happy FB Day!

This was a hoot . . .

Tiffany said...

So funny! I have the opposite problem - I don't need Double Dang size, I need eensy teensy. Funny about the poor guy working at Kohls
Congrats on your SITS day!

Jaden Paige said...

LOL! I don't have many of the same issues as you with your *girls*, because mine are smaller... But I totally understand the bra-shopping woes!

Happy SITS day!

Brandy said...

I'm in a DDD so I don't go anywhere near Walmart. I still only spend about $35-40 per bra from Lane Bryant because I wait for a good sale. (FYI - Normally they have one in December.)

Gotta keep them happy!

I am Barking Mad said...

This is HILARIOUS! Congrats on not only finding a bra that fits, but on sale! WOW!

Auds at Barking Mad!

Kelly Deneen said...

Woo hoo for a bra on sale!!

And yes, what kind was it???

ugagirl30 said...

Why are bras so expensive? I mean, really. It's really not much fabric, some elastic, and some eye hooks. I have a hard time finding bras too. My one criteria is NO UNDERWIRE!! I want the lift and support without being stuck by a wire.

Vickie said...

This post was just right. I wear a minimizer and it gives me a uniboob look. I wear the lifts and separates from Playtex secrets line and I look pokey. I can't win. Hey Debbie Y. don't feel bad, I thought she was taking her daughter until it hit my, GIRLS-OHHH. Told ya, I am a bit blue today and slow.

Karol said...

Amen sister on the criteria for a bra! Oh, and I love how you scared the poor boy!

Kristy said...

lol poor guy, glad you found the one you wanted :)

Ronnica said...

I've totally already commented on this, but I think it's about time me and the girls go shopping again. Sigh. I don't like paying so much for something no one else will see!

Katie said...

I LOATHE bra shopping. However, I just finished nursing my youngest, and at this point, all I own is nursing bras (in my size anyway). I must soon begin the pilgrimage in searching for the right bra.

Congrats on your deal at Kohl's! I agree--I love that place!! Maybe I'll start my search there...

wendy said...

I feel your pain...LITERALLY! I have resigned myself to the $60+ Waccoal bras. They are the best. Congrats on the find at Kohl's, though. LOVE that store!

Happy SITS day!

Queen of Feisty said...

I have to say since the kids I have proudly displayed the girls in only unaboob style.

I do however wish for two boobs again, and not just one... someday...

mrsmouthy said...

It's highway robbery! But unless you're a politician, it's the only way you can actually buy support for yourself. And that's kind of nice

Rhea said...

I so need to go shopping for my Double Dangs too. I've been wearing my sports bra a lot...it super comfy, despite the uniboob look.

Deconstructing Jen said...

Haha, you are a crack up! Bra shopping is the worst for of torture ever created. Glad you found something that works. :D

Paige said...

It really should not cost so much to get a decent bra. I want a decent bra with NO underwires as they poke me and I get bruises on my boobs. Whose idea of a good time is that?

Honey Mommy said...

Haha!
I'm not a double dang... but pretty close. I hate that all the bras are like a size B and only 30 inches around. Who are these skinny women with no bosoms?

Shannon said...

I have the criteria when shopping for bras. Ugh, I hate bra shopping.


OMGosh... I just noticed the word verification...

mamari



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Oh that poor boy!

Cassandra said...

Unfortunately I'm in the next to nothing filling er up state after having kids. Bummer.

Amy said...

I thought it'd be fun to have some big D's...not so much, I agree :D

smithjennife said...

I totally get you on the criteria! I fluxuate between DDD and F, and let me tell you, I can tell when I buy a bra without the proper support. My whole body hurts from lugging those things around!! And it always cracks me up when there are guys working in that department.

angie said...

I actually just posted about my bra shopping experience! Hopefully, I won't be doing that again any time soon.

Theresa Cloyd said...

Congrats on being the FB over at SITS! I know what you mean on bra shopping. I'm also in the Double Dang club and it is soooo hard to find a great bra. Sometimes I wish it were ok to go without but alas that wouldn't be good for anyone.

Blue Castle said...

That poor guy. I am laughing and can't stop. I so relate here. I look at those little-bitty A and B bras and can't imagine ever being so small. It would be soooo nice.

Melodie said...

I wish I had your problems! I look like a twelve year old boy!

Jacie said...

Sorry, I don't have that particular issue, but I bet my husband wouldn't mind if I did. I get big ol' boobies when I'm pregnant (and of course he loves it), but lose it all when I'm not. Oh well!

Carrie said...

You seriously said that to that poor boy?? HAHAHA

That's awesome. Seriously awesome. I am speechless.

p.s. Try being a DDD! At least you can find your bra at a normal store and don't have to venture to some crazy Boobs R Us store!

Spoiled Mommy said...

Its very hard to find the right bra...but when you do its great!
Then when you go back to get another and you cant find it anywhere...its SUCKS!

Ahh!
Love the post!

Michelle said...

I have two words for you, Body by Victoria.....ok, that is three. They are what I like to refer to as an instant boob lift.

Momma Drama said...

Those poor fitting ladies. I would HATE that job. But they do get to know a LOT about boobs. If that's a good thing.

Tabitha Blue said...

I just can't believe how expensive bras have gotten... and I hate paying that much too. Was at the mall with my husband last night, and went to VS so I could get a new one, and I did... love it, but hated the price :)

sassy stephanie said...

I finally found my "type" and can't stray from it. Wash by hand and drip dry. I treat my bras better than my kids. ha ha

Tiffany said...

I hear ya. Now that I'm pregnant again, my Double Dangs are even HARDER to accomodate. I'm hoping the braless Amazon woman thing will come into fashion soon. It's bound to, right?

Mama Kat said...

Double Dang is right. I'm currently on a double hooker (get your mind out of the gutter) and it's not doing the trick.

ps Your kids are gorgeous!?! Got some Hawaiian in there??

Marrdy said...

That is too funny. Although there really is nothing funny about trying to find a bra that fits!

blueviolet said...

You're a complete crack-up!

Cheryl Ann said...

Haha! You're too funny! I'm not quite "Double Dang," but I'm awful close and I hate when my cute, perky-boobed friends whine that they wish they had my rack. I would gladly give up a whole "girl" if it meant I could wear super cute stuff, or even THINK about going braless once in a while!

Michelle said...

I'm with you on the majority of the criteria... although thankfully I haven't yet required the three hooks. MY biggest issue is getting them to stay on my shoulders and not slide down my arms. Drives me BATTY!

Hairline Fracture said...

That was so funny to picture your conversation with the young male employee.

Susan said...

Maybe I should try somewhere other than Victoria's Secret, because the "secret" is out - their bras are so uncomfortable and I have small fortune in bras I can't wear!

You are too funny! Poor kid at Kohl's, he probably has nightmares. But seriously, why would they put a boy in the bra dept....guess he was the one who showed up late that day!

Aleta said...

I would not have thought about finding a bra at Kohl's. You're right though, it's difficult finding a size in Double Dang size. Love that terminology!

The Boss Lady said...

I'm am upwards of the Double Dang sizes too...and I found my dream bra at Kohl's, where I now buy it bulk because you can actually get it on sale for- wait for it- $15.00. It's the Vanity Fair Sophia full-figured (read: huge knockers) bra. I think the largest it comes in is Double Dang, but you might check it out...I know you can get it online too. Just a thought...

The Tripp Family said...

too funny! I totally don't have that problem. I've often wished for that problem. My only criteria for a bra is that it has "wonder" in the name :)

domineehuisvrouw said...

I'm glad you were the featured blogger today! I really enjoyed reading your blog!

Megan said...

OMGoodness! Totally cracking up!

Heather said...

i've so been there before! fortunately, i have a great pastic surgeon who chopped my girls down to C status. but even that didn't make bra shopping any easier. alas....

Tranquility said...

HAHAHAHA!

I don't know if it helps at all, but I've found that Ross is a good place to "try". They won't always have what you need, but I usually take a peek through their aisle when I'm in the area. Every once in a while they have what I'm looking for and at an AMAZING price that makes the random stops worth while.

Rhonda said...

I finally broke down and went to "Dawn's Bra-tique" and did the whole 'fitting' thing! It wasn't as awful as I was expecting. Not even close. But the bra was $80! Just one? The salesperson asks me. Uh, yeah, just one! lol

But, by your description, I think we got the same bra. Only yours was much cheaper!!!

ScrappinAway said...

Too funny! I remember the double dang days before my reduction! I hated it I had to go to a speciality store in an office bldg. just to get one that fit!

Shannon said...

Oh damn! I was gonna write a post like this but you beat me to it. Yes, is it too much to ask for a bra to support, be comfy and less than $60??? And the bra fit lady told me I wear a size that freakin nobody carries! WTH??

Finding Normal said...

I hate bra shopping and mine are teeny tiny. I can't imagine what you more well-endowed ladies go through!

littleeverydaythings said...

I have no idea why bras cost so much. I want some serious technology for $60 - elevators and such would be nice.

WheresMyAngels said...

I HATE all bra's. I love what the underwire does, but I hate the torture the underwire causes,so I cut them out!

jubilee said...

I am constantly on the hunt for a good bra, I'll have to check our Kohls for sure.

I'm with ya on the Double Dang sizes! What a great way to put it! You made me laugh today, thank you.

Mari said...

You know, I'm a 38D so I have similar problems with bra shopping but I'm the type that enjoys beautiful lingerie and undergarments. So, it's aggravating to wear more mature undergarments that provide the support I need, but without that oomph that I like so much!

I nearly passed out when I tried on a bra at Ross on a whim and actually found a decent, lovely printed bra for $7. Yeah, I know. Insane.

Blicky Kitty said...

Wow I'm so impressed at the thought that went into this! My only criteria is usually 1. needs to be a sports bra so I don't have to change it before pilates and 2. must be new enough so the poor pathetic, post-baby girls don't slip through the bottom. I know, I'm so freekin' hot I can't stand myself.

greedygrace said...

I am also a DD. It is one of the tragedies of my life that I can never buy anything at Victoria's Secret.

Do you have an outlet mall near you? I've seen a Vanity Fair/Maidenform/Bali type store at every outlet mall I've ever been to. You should definitely try there. I think I paid $16 for my last bra!

LaTonya Yvette said...

Coming from SITS....Too funny!

Lavender n Latt├ęs said...

Hi - found you on SITS. Great post - very funny and I can totally relate!

Brooke said...

I totally feel your pain!! I was SHOCKED a couple years ago when I decided to go to Victoria's and get an official fitting. My husband was standing there and got a huge grin on his face and started laughing as she told me "I am getting you at a 34DD." Did she say DD??? Holy moley! I knew they were big but not THAT big. :) I am only 5'1" so it probably makes them seems even bigger. ha ha. Oh well. I do love VS's bras and I usually only spend about $50. (Only) :)

april kennedy said...

darn...I've got a great 38C that I am trying to give away...brand new Victoria Secret $50 bra...lifts, separates, lightly padded, all the right stuff...just not the right size!

Jaime said...

Ok, gotta say as a former bra fitter :) you really should go w/ a nude colored bra that way it won't show up under white shirts. Also if you have a dillards sometimes during their sales you can get some pretty good deals on Waacoal's and they are amazing bras especially for us "blessed" gals!

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

Too much! My girls hang so low, I just have to lift my pant leg to scratch.

TMI said...

You had me laughing out loud! Too funny. Hey - we've all been there!

Anna Lefler said...

It's such a project, isn't it? Sheesh...

Funny post!

:^) Anna

PS - OK, the word verification is "coven." How did Blogger know I was a witch? Been talkin' to my husband, I guess...

Rachael said...

Okay, why is it so hard to find a good bra for big 'girls' for a reasonable price? I know a LOT of ladies who are well endowed! Mine are smaller than I'd like, but I've come to terms. At least I can still buy a bra at Target. Haha.

Tracy P. said...

I would rather clean my toilet. Kohl's did the trick for me, though, too.