Tuesday, October 12, 2010

18 Hours? What's Up With That?

You know how much I loathe, how much I absolutely despise taking the Double-Dang twins bra shopping, Right? Bleh. NOT.FUN. This is no ordinary shopping experience, mind you. It usually entails traipsing in and out of a plethora of department stores, sifting and sorting through a myriad of styles, looking for something acceptable (underwire, wide straps, petals, etc.) in my size to harness these girls o' mine. Anyway -- 'nuff said about that!

While I was looking recently, I happened to see something that I had seen at least a hundred times before, but actually "noticed" for the first time. The Playtex 18 hour Bra. Yes. They exist. I don't know how long they've been in business, but I do know it's been since I've been lockin' & loadin'. So that's what... at least... Twenty- Three something years. And here's what I'm thinking... 18 Hours? Really? Man that is ROUGH! I mean, Who needs to wear a bra for 18 hours straight?

That is the million dollar question that has been on my mind for days now, since my little escapade down Lingerie Lane. I realize this little investigation isn't going to bring resolution to some cold case or feed a starving child in Africa or anything. But, I do know for a cotton-pickin' Jimmy-John fact that I WILL sleep better once I get it all out. Ergo, I might as well obsess over it now so I can move on.

I know. Out.Of.Control. Right?

Fine. But let's answer the question first, shall we? What woman needs to wear a bra for that long? I mean, that'd be like wearing a bra from 6 am until midnight that same day. Talk about Brutal!

So, my first thought was: Prostitute. But then I realized they probably get to take theirs off a bit more frequently than most women in an 18 hour period. My second thought was a doctor or nurse; someone who is working long shifts on a regular basis. I dunno... who else? Don't enquiring minds want to know? I know I do!

What woman wears a bra for 18 hours straight on enough of a regular basis that it inspired Playtex to make a bra for her? Did a team of female astronauts approach Playtex? "Yeah... we're goin' to the moon and we won't be back for a bit. So, if you could design a bra for us, that'd be totally cool." And of course, their response... "Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like it's Rocket Science!" Then again, would astronauts really need to wear bras? I mean, for once they have [lack of] gravity on their side! That settles it. I'm moving to space. Anyone with me?

Out.Of.Control. I tell ya!

Anyway, have you seen this thing? This is not for the dainty Almost-Enoughs or Barely-Theres. Oh no. This thing is like the workhorse of all bras. The Mother Ship, if you will. For reals... check it out {{HERE}}.

Man... I don't know how they do it! My bra keeps my girls in check throughout my day, and even on my "long" day (straight from work to a 4 hour class) I only have that thing on for 15 hours, tops! And it's gotta come off as soon as I hit the door at the end of the day.

Seriously though... 18 hours?


Rob said...

Not sure if I can solve your mystery but maybe the homeless? A long day begging for change and scavenging in dumpsters before they hit the old cardboard box for the night? That kind of gruelling shift I would think you would need the support a good bra would provide.

Susie said...

Now that you mention it, that does sound excessive:-)

The Willeyes said...

You're hilarious :)

Puphigirl said...

Sometimes I wonder if I need to go get a professional bra fitting.

Paige said...

Maybe it is for those crazy people that SLEEP in them? WTF is that about?

That is a special kind of hell right there