30 Days of Gratitude: Day Fifteen

I am grateful for vacations...

...and even sometimes STAYcations.   I love taking road trips to visit family, heading to the beach, or camping, or flying to a new destination, or even driving up to the cabin for a long weekend.  While seeing new things and visiting new places can be exciting, I also enjoy little mini-vacations/staycations of "nothing"... just me chilling out and sleeping in as late as I want, and staying in my pj's all day, should I so desire.

This year we are not going out of town for Thanksgiving.  I already have the day planned out (a 90 minute intense boot-camp workout that morning, then heading to friends), but the rest of the weekend is open, so to speak.  Initially, I thought it would be a great weekend for some deep cleaning.  But truth be told, I have felt so exhausted lately, that I am now starting to think I need to just relax and do NOTHING; my body is telling me I need some major rest.  So, that is my new plan.

I am sooo looking forward to next weekend.  I am grateful for vacations!

30 Days of Gratitude: Day Eleven

I am grateful for games.

I love games. While I enjoy ice breakers and group games, I enjoy board games too.  Every once in a while my kids and I will drag some of the board games out.  Some of their my favorites are:

Apples to Apples
Mad Gab
Scattergories
iMAgiNiff
Would You Rather...?
Qwirkle
Rollick

Each year for Christmas I try to find a new game or two to put under the tree. Any suggestions?

I am excited to introduce two new ones at our annual family Christmas party this year.  We always have a good time even if I might get slightly competitive.  I love how playing games with friends too, just hanging out, laughing and having a low-key, but fun time!

I am grateful for games.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day Two

I am grateful for my friends.

I know that I would not have been able to endure the trials I have endured as "easily" as I have if I didn't have the wonderful and fabulous friends that I do.  Great listeners, great shoulders to cry on, great company to laugh with and great conversation.

True friends don't care that I am too busy with school to call or text every day.  We can go days, weeks, months, or even years in between seeing each other; but when we do, we pick up right where we left off.  True friends love us no matter what mistakes we've made, and true friends help us bear our burdens so we do not feel alone.

I am grateful to have many friends that I consider my true and close friends.

The Belated Swiss Days Post

I have been meaning to post about this for a while and then forgot all about it.

There are all sorts of Festivals throughout our state all summer long.  One of these happens to be Swiss Days in the little town of Midway.  In case you didn't know, many of the little towns in Utah were settled by Swiss Immigrants.  Midway is one of them.

One of the things that makes this festival so popular is the number and variety of vendors.  I would describe it as an arts & crafts fair, a holiday boutique, and home decor show, with lots of food and treats to choose from all rolled up into one tiny town's big festival.

Throughout the past 14 years of living here, I kept hearing about Swiss Days.  It seems like the thing to do the weekend going into Labor Day is for women, their mothers, sisters, friends, etc. to attend Swiss Days.  And it never failed that whenever I'd see someone with great wall art or a fabulous piece of clothing, they'd always say, "Got it at Swiss Days."

I posted on FB in August about how I was contemplating venturing down to Swiss Days this year, as I had been a Swiss Days Virgin up to that point.  Well, that started a thread of conversation, which led to my friends Mel, Meesh and I planning our Swiss Days excursion.  Mel (and her daughter Syd) had been before and Meesh & I approached it like children experiencing Christmas for the first time.

I had a list of some things I hoped to find.  I had desperately needed a new purse and had the money set aside for that.  I was also on the lookout for certain Christmas gifts.

So with my list and money in hand, we left home early Saturday morning and got down there before the parade started.  I noticed a few parking lots just outside of town which provided free shuttle service to and from the center of Swiss Days.  However, Mel, being the veteran of the group, poo-pooed that as she had the inside scoop.  We drove on into town and at the very edge of the action there was a small private cul de sac of about 4 homes.  Apparently, these neighbors open their driveways, yards, and curbs for Swiss Days Parking, for a fee of course.  It was worth it to pay the $10 vehicle charge and be parked close, especially if one of use wanted to purchase a big item.  What a pain that would have been to lug around.  I had heard from others who went that at times they had to wait 40 minutes for a shuttle.   We counted the cars that were parked in the circle at any given time and figured they easily brought in $1000 each day of the festival...  divided by the 4 houses, that's not bad.  We noticed that the husbands were the ones running the parking operation.  We joked that the wives were over at Swiss Days spending the parking money.  Probably not far from the truth.

Anyway -- we saw lots of fun things, some odd, some unique, and some way over-priced.  The grossest thing I saw was a booth selling baby dolls with REAL HAIR.  They were promoting this by showing that since the hair was REAL, you could actually style the doll's hair, then wash it out, etc.  The thought of the buying locks from other people, and then transplanting it into these doll heads made me nearly lose my breakfast.  I throw up in my mouth again now just thinking about it.  Bleh.

I had the chance to listen to artist Jon McNaughton speak about a month before and was impressed by his (controversial) artwork {{McNaughton Artwork}}.  Let's just say he mixes politics and religion in his art and many people do NOT like it.  His belief is that our Constitution was Divinely Inspired, and that our government and society have seem to forgotten that over the years.  Regardless what you believe, I think it's interesting at how much controversial attention his work draws. I mean, people can paint nudes and put them in museums and call it "art" and yet, they cringe because this guy chooses to display his political and/or religious beliefs through his work?  Something doesn't seem right about that.  Anyway -- back to the post...  This artist was there, signing his work.  I was so excited and had to buy one of his prints.

I found the Christmas gifts I was looking for and for much less than I expected to pay, which was awesome.  I would show you, except it would ruin the surprise for the recipients.

Previously, I had seen some handbags I loved online, priced anywhere from $50-$120.  I didn't want to spend that much. I looked at nearby retailers (Kohl's, Tarjay) and purses were still $40-$60, although none were the right size or style I liked.  I have always done smaller purses.  But, this time I wanted a larger handbag.  Something big enough to conceal my gun (when needed) and something I could stuff a notebook in for class. I also wanted something red.  I love red.

Then I saw it -- the bag I wanted  NEEDED was at Swiss Days and it was just under $40!  They had 1 red bag left, so I took that as an Omen and bought it before someone else could snatch it up.

As many of you know, I also have a thing for spoon rings.  Well, the price was right for this little diddy, and I couldn't resist.  I love it.  It was truly the one "splurge" for me.

For lunch, they had everything from Navajo Tacos (fry bread) to anything else greasy on a stick and deep friend you can imagine.  But, I was good and had a grilled chicken breast and a bowlful of fresh berries.  My only food-splurge was the caramel apple we split at the end of the day.  Oh sooo good.

So, there you have it.  My review of Swiss Days.  Will I go again?  Definitely.

Thanks Meesh, Mel & Syd for making it so much fun!

{{More on Midway Swiss Days HERE}}

Gratitude for Giving Friends

In case I haven't said this enough, I have the best friends, family and neighbors. I really do.

I have had more offers to help me replace my fridge than I ever even imagined. Within seconds of my pity-party post last week {{here}}, several of my friends had posted feelers on their FB wall on my behalf, looking for a replacement fridge for me. I had messages and texts and phone calls and lots of supportive, kind words, including a few pep talks from my 11 year old daughter! It seemed that everything was set in motion [to get me a new fridge] so quickly, I was immediately reduced to tears of gratitude.

I am grateful for the friends and neighbors who've offered to let me use some of their refrigerator space until something worked out. I am grateful for the friends and neighbors who've helped me figure out how I am going to replace all of the groceries I lost. I am grateful to the friend who showed up on my doorstep and treated me (and the kid that was home at the time) to dinner, even though I was dirty and sweaty from just having cleaned out a disgusting, fridge; and if that weren't enough, supplied me with a few essentials to get me through the next day. I am grateful to the friend who stayed up with me until 1 in the morning so we could swap our stories and tears and lots of giggles. I am grateful to the friends and neighbors who came and hauled out the old fridges (2 of them) and took them to the dump. I am grateful to the friend and neighbor who made me an ice-cold homemade smoothie and brought it over to me while I was working [out all of that refrigerator stress] in the yard today.

My kids have been fed and taken care of these past several days, for which I am truly grateful. A replacement refrigerator will arrive Monday night, for which I am also extremely grateful.

I am truly amazed at the generosity and kindness I've been shown, and for that I am extremely grateful! I know that I would not be able to get through many of my trials if it hadn't been for the help of friends, family, and neighbors. There are many other trials and instances in which my loving family, friends or neighbors have helped me endure. This is just one of those instances, and again, I can't seem to say 'thank you' enough. I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now because of these people in my lives.

Thank You!

To Be or Not To Be... Offended.

I offended someone. Big surprise. Probably not the first time, and I am almost certain it won't be the last.

I don't say that to be mean. I say it because it was bound to happen. Sooner or later we [probably] all say things that may offend someone else, even if it wasn't our intention.

That's the case here. It was not my intent to offend. I didn't even know the other person was having a bad day. He was laughing and joking with the rest of us in the group.

FAAACTUH: I poke fun at myself, I kid around with others and sometimes I am a bit sarcastic. But my sarcasm isn't to be mean. And normally, I do it in an obvious way (or what I perceive as obvious) so that they know I am only kidding. Like I said, though. I can also take it. I figure if I dish it out, I HAVE to be willing to take it.

For example, typically when someone teases me, I usually reply with, "As if that's my only problem." I wasn't always so laid back. But I suppose I finally came to a realization that it is not worth it to get upset or easily offended over the little stuff. Besides, I learned life is a lot more funnier if I can laugh at myself. Not to say I never allow my feelings to get hurt. Because on occasion I have and on occasion I do; mostly when I am tired.

As far as joking around goes, I am a big proponent of knowing your audience. For example, I probably wouldn't be sarcastic during a job interview or a funeral or someplace where it would be inappropriate. And typically I only venture into that side of humor when I really know the person well. However, my [often mis-interpreted] humor can sometimes manifest itself if I am feeling anxious around certain people, especially if I feel like I do not fit in. It can also kick in as my way of dealing with someone who completely irritates me.

Anyway -- back to the incident. He was laughing and joking in the group and he made some funny comments, one after the other actually, that really set up some nice comebacks for the rest of us. I thought we were all engaging in banter. There wasn't anything in his demeanor that led me to believe he was feeling anything but enjoyment.

Then -- 2 nights later -- in a text he tells me that *I* made him "sad". That he was feeling like the group was "kicking him while he was down." Immediately I said sorry. I told him that I was sorry we offended him and that if we would have known how he felt, we would have left him out of the joking around bits. I thought that would be the end of it. But no.

He proceeded to go on and on about it. It got to the point wherein I felt like he was trying to make me feel guilty about the entire ordeal.

I finally explained that sometimes I use humor and sarcasm in a new setting when I am anxious or when I am with really good friends because we know each other well enough to take it. I wasn't trying to make an excuse, only explaining the situation. I couldn't figure out why he couldn't let it go after I had already apologized. I think by this point I had texted "I'm sorry" at least 2 more times, so a total of 3!

His response to my explanation was more or less a line of questioning regarding my relationship with God. He basically said I should be praying a minimum of 2 times per day and reading my scriptures daily and that God could help me overcome such unhealthy habits.

Ex-SQUOOOOZE me?

Yep. You read that right. Am I wrong to think he was trying to manipulate me into feeling like a bad person because I UNINTENTIONALLY offended him?!?!?! Good grief! Oh and FYI -- personality traits are not the same as bad habits.

Like, how in the world would he even know how often I prayed or studied?!?!?! I wanted to bob my head and retort, "You don't know me!"

Instead, I politely but firmly replied that while my level of faithfulness is not his business I value my relationship with God and feel that I am in a good place, doing the best I can in this moment of my life, especially with everything I've got going on. I further explained that I will not allow the power of my happiness to be given over to anyone, and that I have finally come to a point in my life wherein I love me!

Yep. Ain't no shame. I love the person I have become!

Not to say I never make a mistake and I have things I am always trying to improve upon. I believe we can always be learning something. But using humor as a way to cope with life is how I do. It is a part of me. I come from a long line of story-tellers and funny people. It's in my genes. Not.Even.Kidding. Not that I am always funny either. Just saying... it's who I am and I LIKE it.

So, NEWS FLASH: I will NOT apologize for being me.

I did offer this as a solution: "I think it would be best in the future if you speak up and tell us if something is bothering you and I will know from now on that you are sensitive to sarcasm and I will refrain from using it. I think this is the only way we can successfully be friends."

His response was that he was "ditching" me as a friend but that he just wanted to give me feedback on my friendship abilities first, "just like a teacher would critique you on your writing," he wrote.

WHAT.EVER. Dude... seriously? Let me fill you in on a little secret. I WANT feedback from my teacher. In fact I PAY for it -- with Tuition. It's my way of ASKING for it. I don't recall ASKING you for Friendship feedback. Plus -- have you seen my FB friend list? Not exactly a shortage in the friend department. Not bragging. Just sayin'...

Oh - and one more thing... He was so bent on trying to "punish me" and make me feel guilty, that he couldn't even see how his accusations about me and my religious faithfulness might be offensive.

I think about all of the times I have been offended in my life. Most of the time I never even bring it up to the other person, because after I take some time to cool down I ask myself what their intentions were. And more often than not, I come away believing that people do not intend to offend.

People are just people. We all have different personalities. Some appreciate sarcasm while others do not. Some want to coddle and be coddled while others (ME) find it smothering. Some like to be blunt and to the point while others find that too harsh and mean. We have different personalities, ergo the likelihood of any one of us offending someone else exists.

Only once did I feel like someone was just lashing out to be mean and she continued to do it over and over. I finally called her on it. She ended up apologizing, for which I thanked her, and then - here is the key - I let it go!

Bottom line. I believe that if we get offended, it's our choice to take offense. Often times the knee-jerk reaction is not the best path. My knee-jerk reaction would have been to tell this guy that he had some nerve acting all self-righteous and how dare he question something so personal to me and who does he think he is and isn't he just the pot calling the kettle black, after all he just offended me!!! But I didn't say those things. I am no longer irritated and I do not hold grudges.

Truth be told, I think he was feeling like crap cuz things in his life aren't going his way at the moment. I suppose he needed someone to take it out on, someone to blame. Might as well be me, right? I will say this though... I do not like drama. And Man-Drama is even worse. Bleh.

So where does that leave us? To be or not to be offended? The choice is yours.

Blog Stalking

Blog Stalking: To read and/or follow someone's blog without leaving a comment or making it known you're following.

If you're here, chances are, you've done it. You've stalked a blog or two in your day. No worries, I've stalked a few blogs myself. Ain't no shame. And lemme be the first to say, that if you've ever stalked my blog, why thanks. I simply love attention knowing that perhaps something I have written has been beneficial or at the very least, mildly entertaining for someone.

I know a lot of people blog to keep family members informed of the "goings on" in their lives. Not me. I mean, it's great that my family can read this and know what's happening in my world. However, this blog is not the "Emma's Family Blog" nor a digital scrapbook of sorts. It's just whatever I feel like writing.

I originally started blogging after I was divorced. Blogging gave me an avenue by which to channel my anxiety, even if I didn't necessarily blog about the divorce. I was entering a new chapter of my life and while realizing that I am writing my story now, it was only natural for me to blog. Additionally, I am an insomniac. I would sleep a few hours at a time each night and anything more than 4 hours total was "good". So -- I had lots of time to blog.

That being said, I had tons of time to read blogs too. And read them I did. I would read blogs for inspiration, for entertainment and for validation -- to know that I wasn't the only one kinda like me out there. I met some of whom I now consider my closest friends via blogging. A few I would even go as far to say we're "kindreds". For realsies.

I probably followed close to 150 blogs on a daily basis. And I quickly gained a following of approximately that many in return. But then - something happened. Yep, the F word happened. Facebook.

With the rise of Facebook, many bloggers abandoned their posts on the blogosphere and as a result they also stopped following. And not only did they stop blogging and stop following, but they stopped following ME! I know, right? Who would ever want to forsake this li'l gem I've created here?

Then I started back at school and as my schedule changed, my family needs changed and so did my world of blogging. I have not been able to post as often as I'd like, nor have I been able to follow as many blogs as I'd like.

I've finally went through my blogroll and deleted the blogs that haven't posted in over a year (unless they are super-duper friends) as well as the blogs that no longer serve a purpose for me anymore. So, if I have stopped following, please do not take it personally or think that I have not enjoyed reading your blog. It's just that my needs have changed and my reasons for blogging are a bit different now. And of course, by slimming down the blogs I follow, I will have more time to leave bloggy comment love on the ones I do read.

I am not naive enough to believe that everyone who started off following me still does and I realize I may lose followers over this. I mean, this isn't my first rodeo. I know how it works: You gotta give love to get love. I have a bloggy friend I met a few years ago and we both started blogging about the same time. She has over 1,100 daily followers and she probably spends every hour of every waking day reading and commenting on blogs, for the pure purpose that those bloggers will read and comment on her blog in return. What a comment whore! haha. Just kidding! But she did tell me recently, "If you had been following more blogs, then you'd have more followers by now." I was all, "No. En. No." I don't have time to read even HALF that many! Sheesh!

That being said, thank you to those who are still reading and following. I totally heart attention the friendships I've made! Even though I am also a Facebook addict user, I will always blog so long as their is a forum by which to do so. I am a writer. It's what I do.

Nuff said.

Daughters, Whores and the Electric Friendship Generator

Kids make me laugh.

My friend has a teenage daughter and also has a little kindergarten son. The son came home yesterday from school and said, "Mom, your daughter is a whore!"

My friend was shocked. She told him, "We don't say things like that! That's a bad word!"

"Which one?" the son asked, "Daughter or Whore?"

Bwahahahahahahaha! She couldn't help but laugh. And of course I couldn't help but laugh when I heard about it after the fact. Totally made my morning! Kids say the funniest stuff sometimes and who knows where he heard that!

People make me laugh too. People on Facebook make me laugh even more. The whole concept of Facebook and Social Networking makes me laugh sometimes. I saw a comic strip recently that showed a haggard guy at the computer; slightly heavy set, still in a bathrobe. There were hearts floating above the screen. He received a message about meeting for drinks and his reply was, "I'm not really into offline dating." Hahaha.... totally cracked me up.

This video also makes me chuckle. Hope you get a kick out of watching this as much as I did.

The Spirit of Giving

Are you one of those people? Y'know the ones... the ones that come up with something cute and clever each and every holiday to give to your neighbors? Yeah... I used to be that person too.

But times have changed, dear readers. I am too busy and too broke to be handing out neighbor gifts. I stopped doing them about 2 Christmases ago. I thought perhaps that since I've stopped giving, I'd stop receiving too. But I haven't. Sure, some of the givers may change a little from year to year. But I have many neighbors who give without expecting something in return, and their thoughtfulness is appreciated. Seriously... how cool are they? Yup. Pretty dang cool!

Some of the cute and clever things I have received over the years... Once I received a cute whisk filled with Hershey's Kisses and a tag saying, "We WHISK you a Merry Kiss-mas!" I've received a plethora of cookies with tags saying things such as "From your COOKY neighbors" or "From your CRUMBY neighbors." I've received Jolly Time Popcorn with sentiments wishing me a Jolly Christmas. The list goes on and on of cute and clever things.

Then there are the slightly odd ones... a light bulb wishing me a Merry and BRIGHT Christmas. True. I could and would probably use that light bulb at some point down the road. I guess it just struck me as odd because it wasn't a "treat". It just seemed so... utilitarian. I mean, could you imagine a husband getting his wife a new vacuum or broom with a tag saying, "Hope this Christmas SWEEPS you off your feet"??? Yeah. Word to the wise... if any man ever gets me a vacuum for Christmas -- I don't care HOW clever he is-- I will be cutting him off from any "benefits" for an extended period of time. And for the record, if I ever lose my senses and ASK for a vacuum, there'd better be a dazzling bracelet that comes with it! ;)

Another odd and totally utilitarian gift I received one year was a bundle of twine. The saying was a bit of a stretch... something like May All the Christmas Joy be 'Twine this holiday season! Yeah. Lame. I 'bout wanted to hang myself with the rope. hehe.

I would hope that neighbors wouldn't feel the pressure to give to me. I had a friend once who was panicked because she didn't have enough money for neighbor gifts one year. So, she rummaged through her storage closets and found everyday items and came up with clever sayings. I'm beginning to think she was the one I got the twine from. Haha. But seriously... Sharing with neighbors shouldn't be that much of a stressor. I'd rather spend time in good conversation than receive an annual utilitarian "gift".

Then there is the gift of the chore. One year I received an empty stocking. In it were instructions for my family stating "between now and Christmas find ways to serve those you love. Then, as you complete each act, write them on a piece of paper and fill the stocking. On Christmas morning read through each of these acts together and talk about how these are the true gifts of Christmas." I get it, I do. I mean, it IS a nice sentiment, but I am a really busy person and sort of have my holiday activities already planned out. And if my family wanted to do an activity like that, fine. But don't try to pass it off as a "gift".

I received a similar gift in the form of an empty box one year. We were supposed to fill the box with the deeds of service we performed and then on Christmas Eve wrap up the box and stick it under the tree as a gift for Jesus. Again -- nice family lesson on Christmas. But if I want to do an activity like that, I will. I don't need someone to TELL me to do it and then try to pretend it's their GIFT to me. I dunno... in my book, a gift should not be an assignment. Perhaps I've got the wrong attitude?

I didn't really want to mention this, but since we're on the topic it's sort of hard to avoid. So, let's go there dear readers. The gift of the less-than-savory treat. I think we've all been the receiver of this a time or two. It's the neighbor who either can't cook but thinks she can, or just some odd-tasting thing that you are just sure is from a different culture.

Growing up, we had this neighbor... she sorta reminded me of the Hallmark "Maxine". She was older, short gray hair and ALWAYS had a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth. She smoked while she did her yard work. She smoked while she cleaned her house. She smoked while she cooked. Heck! I wouldn't be surprised if she smoked while she showered! She would bake us these scrumptious looking cakes and bring them over all the time. The holidays were no exception. And, whichever of the kids lost to "rock-paper-scissors", was the one who got to sample the cake first. And as per usual, the frosting tasted like cigarette ash. Once the disgusting face was made, with accompanying gag reflexes, the rest of us would follow in-suit after swiping our own fingers through the frosting just to be "sure" the sibling was correct. And he always was. The frosting always tasted like two inches of crisco & cigarette ash. Always.

One year one of my Latino neighbors gave us some sort of homemade suckers. One lick and one of my children realized it was a red hot chili sucker. Yikes. Though I appreciated the sentiment of wanting to share their culture with us, a little warning would have been nice before my two-year-old came running and crying, flinging drool everywhere, proclaiming "hot! hot! hot!"

Inevitably, there always seemed to be some treat from a family member, friend, or coworker wherein its savor doesn't match up with their good intentions. And just what do you do in a case like that? Nothing except smile, nod and say a heartfelt "thank-you", for it truly is the thought that counts. No way would my mother have ever told the neighbor lady to quit bringing over her cig-ash-crisco-cake. We knew she brought it to us because she cared about us.

And while I do think that most of the time gifts are given with good intentions (even if they aren't the greatest), there will probably always be those duty-bound, obligatory, gifts that just seem to suck the life out of the true meaning of the holidays. One of my neighbors said that her landlord gave her a pair of scissors for Christmas. Wow. She was less than thrilled, to say the least. Follower, Robblogger said that his father's neighbor used to bring him stacks of old newspaper at the holidays. Really? Seems a little strange. Not sure what THAT was about.

PartyGal and I were talking about this feeling of obligatory gifts just the other night. She works for a jeweler. This man has money and LOTS of it! What could she possibly give him that he doesn't already have? And furthermore, her gifts appear more like mere tokens compared to the extravagant things they give; she can't compete with that. One year she suggested they draw 1 co-worker's name and just get something for that one, instead of stressing over a half-dozen or so gifts. It was agreed. They all drew names. She showed up for work the morning of the gift exchange and guess what -- they ALL had still bought something for EVERYONE, while there she sat with her one small gift. That made her feel much worse than before.

I was talking to a colleague of mine the other day about coworker gifts. He said that his office no longer does gifts for each other. Instead, all year long they pay $5 monthly "dues" in order to wear jeans on Fridays. Then, at the end of the year, the money is used to purchase gifts for residents of a local nursing home. It's been such a success and he said that the spirit of Christmas is much more "present" in presents like that.

By no means is this my soapbox on which I stand proclaiming foolishness or accusing commercialism of anyone that does choose to give gifts to friends, coworkers or neighbors. No, dear readers. This is merely an observation of how some things, as others, are often taken to the extreme.

I have some of the best neighbors in the whole wide world and they give to me throughout the year. Their generosity at the holidays is no exception. I feel loved and taken care of and watched over. I know that I will probably never be able to repay them all, but I hope to one day pay it all forward.

Giving, so that those whom receive will want to give too. I think THAT is the spirit of Giving.

Coming Out of His Shell

In case any of you were wondering, I am not shy. I just had to throw that out there to make sure we are all on the same page. If there are people around me for any length of time (save it the homeless on public transportation) there is a high likelihood I am going to engage in conversation. More often than not, this conversation will also be initiated by yours truly.

The thing I love about taking online classes is that I don't have to leave home and I can "go to class" in my jammies and braless, if I so desire. However, I will admit, the nice thing about going to class on campus is that I get to associate with my fellow classmates.

In a few of my classes I happen to sit by the shiest kid in there. Actually, come to think of it, in ALL of my on-campus classes, I sit next to the shy kid. Part of me wonders if this is coincidence, or if somehow I attract shy people. Or perhaps the shy people attract me? Who knows. Anywhoo...

The kid in one of my classes is finally coming out of his shell a little, nay a lot. He is quirky and funny once you get to know him. But mostly, he sits quietly, trying to stay oblivious. Well, therein dear readers lies the first problem. Anyone who has any sort of intention whatsoever of remaining unnoticed or invisible amongst a group of peers will do well not to sit by me. Let it be known that I will probably instigate a plethora of conversations over time. And while I maintain that much of my colloquy is insightful and perhaps even witty and clever, there are indeed those times it is pure twaddle, nonetheless humorous just the same.

So, back to the metamorphosis of the shy guy... the other night, he made a funny. He turned slightly red, and yet I could tell by the look on his face that he was somewhat pleased with himself. His mood was upbeat the rest of the night too.

Being nervous in a group isn't often something I encounter. And having funny thoughts and not feeling like I can share them is also a concept very foreign to me. It wasn't leaps and bounds, what he did. But I could tell for him, it was something.

So now what? Well, we are sort of the duo that makes fun of the professor from the back of the class. I feel like we have engaged in this mentorship of sorts. Who knows? I could just be the sensei that helps to mold our future president! Ok, maybe not. Probably not. But, I can't help feel like my gregarious behavior is rubbing off on him just a little.

His future wife will thank me one day. And that, is reward enough. :)

How Far Would You Go?

Would you answer the door while basically wearing only a tanktop & an apron (becuz you're cooking & it's hot in the kitchen) to accept a jar of homemade jalepeno jelly from one of your besties after they drove 45 miles to get there?

I would... and I did. :) I gave her a jar of my homemade Apple Butter too!

Would you ever go out your backdoor at 10pm while wearing a semi-see-thru nightie becuz your neighbor texts you that she has a plate of homemade, fresh from the oven peach muffins w/ whipped topping that she'd like to hand over the back fence to you?

I would... and I did. :) I exchanged some Apple Butter with her too!

What about this...

Would you ever walk around the corner @ midnight because your friend & the traveler text you that there are homemade Apple Cinnamon Chocolate Chunk muffins right from the oven and you should come on over and try one?

I would...and I did. :) She got some Apple Butter as well.

Not only that, but would you take a plate of cake balls with you and once arriving at the door mention something semi-naughty to your friend about enjoying tasty balls? And then proceed to stuff your face with muffins & cake balls until nearly 1 in the morning?

I would... and I did. :)

There is just something about good treats that help bring good friends together... (by the way, that's a lot of treats for one week!)

What about you? What would you do for a tasty treat?

Saturday Schedule

• Marinade Steaks for BBQ party.
• Drop niece off at her house after a movie and sleepover night.
• Make Marshmallow-Fudge Brownies for BBQ party.
• Make Citrus-Shrimp Salad for BBQ party.
• Get Notes prepared for Sunday Meeting.
• Finalize lesson I am teaching for Relief Society on Sunday.
• Assign PrettyPrettyPrincess to use Magic Eraser to "erase" her name from old dollhouse.
• Assign FunnyMan and LittleDuckling to load doll house into van.
• Drive to see old college roomie.
• Unload old dollhouse for old college roomie's daughter.
• Stay and visit with old college roomie for BBQ & slip-n-slide (kids, not me!) par-tay.
• Eat salad, steak, a smidge of a brownie and her Authentic Japanese Potstickers!!!!!!!!!
• Drive home stuffed and tired and ready for beddy-bye :)

Yep... should be a good one!

Who Needs Utopia When You've Got This?

I am already crying just THINKING about writing this post. Lame. I know.

Have I told you that I have some of the bestest neighbors in the whole wide world? I am sure I have. But just in case you missed it, I do. I really do have great neighbors.

I have a neighbor that mows his immaculate, luscious green lawn each week. And while he's at it, he rides on over and gives mine a quickie too! (The lawn, you pervs!) Anyway, maybe he does it because he knows that I am just too busy and exhausted with work, kids, school, and other mischievous fun that I probably won't get around to it in time to keep from bringing the neighborhood down. Maybe. Or maybe it's because he is just a super nice guy and really cares about me. Yep. I'm goin with that one. My mower died a few years ago. We borrowed another neighbor's mower the last 2 summers. And if/when I went out to mow, people would say, "You should not be mowing. You have boys for that!" And they did mow. But, I am not home all of the time to make sure they do it. And now, this summer, my kids are usually at their dad's every Saturday. So, thanks to my super-great neighbor across the street, my front lawn has been looking decent this whole season so far! Oh - and I finally acquired a mower. And my boys have been doing the back yard to keep it from looking like the the deep jungle. But we have this horrendous tree. And any time the wind blows even just a little, it poos sticks and leaves EVERYWHERE! Little Duckling has seriously already filled at least 5 bags full of sticks. But we cannot keep up. It stops my grass from growing nice and no one ever plays out there, because there would be serious injury. So, when the boys are home, and I am home at the same time to monitor their chore-doing, then the sticks get cleared and the weeds get mowed. And my neighbor could be the kind to sit in his house and complain that he has to look across the street at the pile of dump that I live in, and the yard that's goin to pot. He really could. But, he doesn't. He selflessly comes over and just mows.

I Heart Marshmallows. I really do. I love roasted marshmallows. Gooey marshmallows. Marshmallow Cake Frosting, Marshmallows in Cereal. Marshmallow Rice Krisy treats. Even slightly stale marshmallows covered in sugar crystals... hmmm... Peeps. I don't even need S'Mores. I just love the roasted marshmallow part. We were lucky enough to get a small firepit for the backyard Jungle w/Crooked and Cracked Cement plan. We have our camp chairs out there and the kids and I have made S'mores and roasted marshmallows at least a dozen times in the six weeks we've had it. It's great for family fun. The bad thing is, the wind blows. And in addition to causing more branch-poo, the smoke blows right into our neighbor's window and gets sucked in by they evap cooler. So, PartyGirl and her fam get the pleasure of inhaling our campfire... probably equivalent to sucking on an exhaust. I am sure they'd rather NOT smell it. But they have never complained to me. They still smile and wave as they go in and out of their house. They've also come over to roast marshmallows with us and enjoy homemade rootbeer on occasion too! They could call me up and complain. Seriously, they could. I mean, if they wanted to live in a campground, they would've stayed at the KOA, right? But, they don't complain. They understand my quirks and my passion for marshmallows and love me just the same. They will check in on me and see how I am doing. PartyGirl and I have the best conversations ever! And we get to partner up to visit ladies from the church too! We've had many a laugh and many a cry together! The fence is not the divide that keeps us apart. In fact, just yesterday I was thinking, we really oughta just put a gate door between us. It would make coming over that much easier! hahaha!

I've called my other neighbor's husband (Desperate Housewife) for help on occasion. Desperate Housewife doesn't mind either. I mean, she knows me well enough to know my genuine intentions... Not to mention he's the best darn mechanic around - and honest to boot! She is great too! Late night talks, vents, cries, and laughter. The husband could complain I am over too much. She could complain I talk too much. But they don't! They indulge me. They help me and they are there for me. They get my mail when I'm gone, call me when suspicious activity takes place when I am not home. I have borrowed things from them (by the way, I still have your rake!), "shopped" in their food storage when I was out of something, offered prayers and blessings on my behalf, even. She shares things with me when she has "too much". She's been my back-up during our late-night stalking BigTruckGuy Excursions and there's been the late-night drive-thru rendezvous too!

LawnMower Man, Desperate Housewife and PartyGirl are my immediate neighbors that look out for me and I know that they truly care. And there are other neighbors too. Around the corner. Down the street. Around the block. All of them are great! My neighbors have helped me in a pinch. They've watched my kids, picked up or dropped off my kids. Helped me finish projects. Given me things they knew I could use that they didn't need anymore. They've invited the kids and I over for family game nights or dinner. Or we've had girl's nights to just sit and gab and stuff our faces! Then there are the "mysterious" things that happen, that I know are because of a neighbor. Groceries left on my front porch. Gifts cards left in unsigned envelopes. Gas Cards. A Gallon of milk. Clothes for the kids. I could go on and on. In the beginning, it was hard for me to accept any type of help. I knew divorce wouldn't be easy. I knew that I didn't have a lot, but I knew for my kids' sake, I had to make it. But now I know that part of "making it", physically, mentally, emotionally, includes the love and service of others. I try to give back when I can. It's never as much as I want and it probably never will be.

I guess the thing that spurred this post this morning, is because I was thinking about one day if I would ever move. This would be a hard place to leave. Not the house; it's a dump. Not the yard; it's an eyesore. But it's the people. I can literally take a walk throughout the 4 or 5 streets in the neighborhood and I know who lives in almost every house. I wave and smile, and they wave and smile in return. I care about them. They care about me. It's a rarity to live in a place like this. Maybe not here it is, maybe not to these people. But I've lived in lots of towns, cities and states. This is a rarity indeed. A Utopia of sorts.

Family + Friends + Food + Firepit = Fun!

I hope the weather cooperates! Thunderstorms are afoot, so I hope they either hurry and come today and be gone by tomorrow, or hold off until Sunday altogether. I've got a cookout planned for tomorrow - and it's gonna be awesome!

By the way ~ who says grilling is just for men? Even when I was married I did the grilling. FunnyMan did express interest though, yesterday. He requested that I teach him how to grill as he is getting older and feels it is part of manhood to learn, LOL.

I am planning Italian Pesto Chicken Skewers, Steak Shish kabobs, Fruit Pizza (or brownies if I run out of time), and Homemade Rootbeer! The others are bringing the chips and other drinks and goodies. My mouth is watering already just thinking about it. I was only going to do the chicken skewers but the New York steak was on sale the other day. So, I got a pack of 3 steaks, and figured if I cut them up and used them for Kabobs, they'd go further. I will have to let you know how it all turns out.

In other news... my kids wanted a firepit for the backyard, to roast marshmallows. (Don't know where they get THAT from!) Last year I said no. But this year, I was sort of pricing them out. Still out of my price range. I paid for my books and tuition and had a smidge of grant money left over for misc. living expenses. I put that towards 2 months' rent and a few extra groceries, which freed up some of my funds from my regular working paycheck. I went back to one store where I saw the firepits. They had come down in price a little more. Hmmm...Tempting. I wondered if I waited if they'd be all gone. Just as I was contemplating my options, the store manager walked past and asked if he could help me. I asked him if they had any more of the firepits. I was thinking if they still had tons, I'd wait another week or two and see if they came down any more. Instead the manager says, "Actually, I think this one [pointing to the floor model] is our last." "Oh..." I sort of let out softly. He could tell I was slightly disappointed, although I think he misunderstood my reason. He quickly adds, "I'd be happy to take another $10 off if you want to go ahead and buy this one." This man had himself a deal!

The kids were excited when I brought the small firepit table home. And all I have heard for 3 days is, "Can we roast marshmallows tonight?" I advised them that we had yard work and housework first. Finally, last night they got their wish and we started a fire and they made S'mores. Our backyard neighbor kid even hopped the fence to join us, as did some of FunnyMan's friends. They all had so much fun - I foresee MANY S'more making nights this summer.

Oh, and on a side note to my side-yard neighbors... I will just go ahead and apologize right now for any and all smoke that blows your way... **sheepish grin** However, just know that anytime we are out there, you have a standing invitation to come on over and have some S'mores with us!!! No need to ask!

My back yard pretty much sucks and I have a nightmarish tree that poo-poos branches all over the place anytime there is the slightest breeze. Somehow the firepit makes the backyard suck just a little less :)

So, there you have it! I am all excited now! I will have to let you know how it goes.

That's Why

Why would I drive two hours to the middle of nowhere, Wyoming? To spend the weekend laughing and hanging out with one of my BFFs, that's why.

Interview With A Blogger: Randi!

Today I would like to Feature my good bloggy friend, Randi visiting today from S Cub 4 . I "met" Randi somewhere on the blogosphere probably about a year or so ago. I love reading Randi's blog for a few reasons, including but not limited to,

- she is honest. If she feels like crap, she tells ya. If she feels inspired to blog about her testimony, she will. If she's frustrated at potty-training, she lets it all out (pun intended). In many ways, she reminds me of me when I was a new mama of little tykes... trying to figure things out. I love how she asks "experienced" moms for advice or opinions. I love how she loves her man and her babies, and I love how she shares it.

Here is my "interview" with Randi:

1) do you remember the first blog you ever read? A friend's blog on xanga.com


2) What inspired the name for your blog? The English pop band S Club 7 who had a few hits on the Top 40 Charts & a short-lived tv series on ABC Family. I loved them in high school.


3) when did you start blogging? In 2004 or 2005 on xanga.com


4) why did you start blogging? I began as another way to journal the ups and downs of life.


5) are your reasons for blogging still the same now as when you started? No. I blog to gain perspective, to gain friendships, to gain advice, and sometimes to win some cool stuff!


6) one thing that makes you or your blog unique? I think that my openness, willingness to share my faith, and the reality of my life. I don't try to showboat or be fake. I want my bloggy friends to see the same person that my flesh-and-blood friends see.


7) something you want us to know about you? I am not Super Mom (but I very much want to be her).


8) something you don't want us to know about you but will tell us anyway? I am very envious of those who weight drops off of and for those who have children but don't look like it.


Now, some Fill-In-The-Blanks...

9) I feel best about my blog when.... I feel that my posts are purposeful and organized.


10) I feel empowered... when my house is clean, my children are napping, and I have at least an hour to myself.


11) Movies I quote most from... (Can you give some examples?) I don't know that I do quote from movies. However, if I do, it's probably from "A League of Their Own." When Moose cries for various reasons that shouldn't be cried over, I tell him, "crying? there's no crying during story time/bath time/meal time."


Finally, choose one of the following experiences to share... Randi chose "C"


c) Who was your first crush? Was he/she real or fictional? How did you two "meet"? What did you love about him/her? Tell us more...

Oh dear. My first love. Blond hair, blue eyes, a killer smile. Sounds like my husband, right? Well, not quite. His name was Logan. He was 2 years older than me - 7 (or under depending on when I had my crush). He was in my sister's class from preschool through twelfth grade. I thought he was a cutie (then later, a hottie). I even got a chance to kiss him - once. Our moms were friends and we were visiting out at their house. We were playing outside. I think everyone knew about my crush on him. His older brother pinned him down for me to kiss. I got really close...and chickened out. Poor dear, I was frightened by cooties. I continued to like Logan off and on throughout my entire schooling (minus college). I ultimately knew it was unrequited and a very undeserved love on both ends. He was too popular for me and I was too nice for him. But the two men I've fallen for hardest in my life (my husband & my on-again, off-again boyfriend from high school) have both had blond hair and blue eyes. I still like the name Logan even. But Big A refuses to let me name a child that, even a girl!


So that's Randi for ya! Leave some bloggy-comment love for her here and then if you have a sec, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to have you visit her over at S Club 4

Just a Little Bruised

This is sooo dumb. I mean, what am I -- like in Jr High or something? Why do I care if the people at the "cool table" don't want me to sit with them anymore? It's not like it really matters, right? I mean, they don't DEFINE me! So... why does it matter? Why?

Not that I am emotionally scarred or "disfigured" for life or anything. It's not gonna keep me from getting out of bed, or stop me from going to church, or work or what have you. I am still going to be nice and cordial and polite and say hi and offer up the token head-nod. But I guess what I am admitting here is that my feelings are a little... "bruised" right now.

It wasn't supposed to matter; but it did. I told myself it was no big deal; but it was. I acted like I didn't care; and I don't, not really. And yet... I do (a little).

Perhaps, it matters (a little) because I used to be part of the group. Perhaps it hurts (a little) because I don't understand what I did to now be out of the group. Perhaps it's just another affirmation that I don't really fit in anymore. I don't have money like some in the group do. Everyone else in the group is married. Is that it? Was I cast out because I am not married?

I don't really fit in with the "singles" either. I mean, I have children. Where I live single moms just aren't a dime a dozen like perhaps some other places. I guess that is it. I don't like eating at the lunch table by myself. I don't want the pity-stares-while-you-walk-on-by look either. Just thinking "out loud" here, I suppose.

I get that not everyone I ever meet will like me (why? I have no idea - tee hee), but I used to be invited to the "cool table" all the time. So it isn't like I never knew what it was like. And now - all of a sudden - no more. Maybe that is why it hurts (a little). Maybe it bothers me (a little) because I enjoy socializing, and partying, and getting together to hang out. I am a gregarious person. I flock towards groups and I prefer to be where the action is. And having to "sit by myself" is hard because it isn't me. I just really hate feeling like I do not "fit" anywhere. I am not good at being a "loner".

So, perhaps, between kids and work and school and church and the gym perhaps I might have about 30 seconds left I can devote to finding a new group to fit into... lol!

Six Friends Moms [Apparently] Need...

I read this article the last time I was waiting for a child at the dentist. It was in Parenting, and it was called 6 Friends Every Mom Needs (click here for full article) . Apparently these are six friends I **need**...

The author, Patricia Curtis writes, "No matter how old our kids are, we moms need our confidantes. These six are lifesavers -- but before you freak out, thinking, "I don't even have six friends," don't worry: One woman might fill several roles, making you one lucky gal."

Without Further adieu...

1) The Mom in the Same Boat
Why you need her: She gets it. For example, one single mom said, "When my married mom friends want to get together, they don't understand why I can't immediately agree. I have to find a babysitter," one mom says. "They just don't get it. But Erin does. We always have the kids with us when we get together, and even though it's hectic, it's more relaxed because we don't have to worry about finding, paying, and rushing home to relieve a sitter."
How to keep her: Whether the two of you are stay-at-home moms, working moms, or single moms, try to get some one-on-one time without the kids. Yes, you're busy with work, the kids, errands, the house, and other craziness, but the more time away from Chuck E. Cheese, the better. Make a date: You both deserve it -- and probably for the exact same reasons!

2) The No-Kids Pal
Why you need her: For adult conversation -- and so you can act like you're still cool. It's so hard to get together with other moms because someone's kid always has to nap or go to school or has some other commitment, and we can never easily agree on a time or place to meet...With my friends who don't have kids yet, that's not an issue...They're a respite from all the mom chatter... My single or non-mom friends are testament that there is life outside of 'cookies versus cupcakes.'"
How to keep her: Take time to find out what's new with her, and be honest with yourself about her reaction to your kid talk. She may eat up your cute stories -- or she may not be so fascinated...Compromise is key, even if your pal adores your kids.

3) The Been-There, Done-That Mom
Why you need her: She gets you through your "I don't know what I'm supposed to do next" moments. "And even though she's my older, wiser parenting friend, she's also a kid at heart, just like me, so when I'm around her, I get the best of both worlds: wisdom but also a wild side."
How to keep her: The good news is that she probably loves giving advice as much as you love getting it. "Motherhood can seem like a thankless job, so it's great to be recognized and be able to share what you've learned," says Kovarick.

4) The I'll-Do-Anything-For-You Buddy
Why you need her: She'll help you with your garage sale, drive the kids to soccer, and bring over lasagna when you're dealing with a crisis.
How to keep her: Friendships don't come with vows, like marriages do... It helps to remind your friends that you care. "So many friendships fall apart because one friend feels neglected," says Paul. So return the favor. Maybe you don't have the time to drop everything, as she always seems to, but make an effort. When she's going through a tough time instead of cooking the family a homemade meal, as she might, drop off a pizza or a gift certificate for her favorite Chinese takeout.

5) The Slightly Glam Girlfriend
Why you need her: For inspiration (it is possible to be a fashionable mom), advice (how does she get out the door looking so great?), and a wardrobe you can borrow.
How to keep her: You admire your friend's got-it-togetherness, so tell her, says Kovarick. She surely works hard at it and will appreciate the compliment. Watch out for your own jealousy or embarrassment, though. Most of us feel that way sometimes, but if she's a real friend, she's not trying to make you feel bad about your relative lack of style or organization.

6) The Brutally Honest Pal
Why you need her: We all need to hear the truth sometimes. It can sting, true, even if you asked for your friend's opinion. But if she cares enough to tell you not just what you want to hear, then she's a keeper. The trick is distinguishing between someone who's just bossy and someone who actually puts thought about you into her opinions. You'll know the difference (one clue: If she only ever criticizes your choices, she's not helping).
How to keep her: It may take a day or two for you to digest what she's told you, but once you have done so, call your friend and thank her for being honest -- even if you don't agree, says Kovarick. We don't have to be exactly like our friends -- as long as we look out for each other


So, in reading this, I am relieved to find that I have **several** friends that fit these molds. Can you guess where you fit in? Oh, and for the record, I do feel lucky in that some of my friends fit more than one mold!

I Just Wanted to Be Good...

I was IMing with someone I knew from my teenage years at church the other day on Facebook. Said-person-from-my-past began to "explain" to me how he and apparently "everybody else from our youth-group" (according to him) thought I was a SNOB during those years.

"Me?" I questioned in disbelief. "A Snob?"

"Yep," he replied matter-of-factly. "You always had this air about you that you were better than the rest of us; or that you thought you were."

I told him...with honest sincerity...

"I am sorry if you thought I was being a snob. But here is what you should know about me. I wanted soooo badly to fit in with the other youth. However, I had 1 sister who was 11 months older and another sister just 12 months younger. And believe it or not, there was not one other girl that was my age. They were either in the older or the younger sibling's grade or Sunday School class, and I just sort of felt left out."

There was one girl, when I was like 5. Laura Lee Lewis. But then her family moved away. And then there was another girl, Carla , but they moved away too when I was still young. When I was 11 a new family moved in. Heidi became my best friend. But shortly thereafter the church building was busting at the seams... and it was already a NEW building. So, they split us up geographically into what we call "wards". Those living in one geographic location were asked to attend the ward at 9am while those living in the other were asked to attend at 11am. This would allow room for everyone. Heidi lived on the complete opposite side of the county, which meant we were split up. In my journal I had even written I was feeling a little "out in left-field" at church and how trying to hang out with either of my sisters' friends felt like I was intruding. It seemed at times my only friends were the children I babysat for, their parents, and my youth leaders.

And as far as "thinking I was better than everyone else", well let me just say that I just wanted to be good. I wanted to be a good Christian. I wanted to be obedient to my parents. I wanted to Choose the Right. I never meant to come off as self-righteous or anything. More so, I was always striving to find perfection in myself, because that is what I thought I was supposed to do. By no means, did I ever have intentions of disregarding anyone or their feelings in the process.

Anyway, this little "revelation" by Said-person-from-my-past-#1 sort of bothered me. Thus, when I was IMing another -person-from-my-past, I told him what I had learned. He said, "I never thought you were snobby. More like, "untouchable". It seemed you were only interested in guys from the other wards." I explained to Said-person-from-my-past-#2, the reason for that was because the boys in our ward were already preoccupied with the other girls. So, I felt like I needed to look elsewhere... (especially after my first love in my ward- broke my heart. Hey, I was only 15... that's a hard thing to recover from.)

I suppose most of it was just this internal desire to push myself. I always felt like I had to push myself to do better; to be better. I still do that to this day. If I think something is important, or worth the risk, I am extremely persistent at it.

I don't know why, but I just felt like I had to defend myself to both of these people from my past. I guess I felt that if any of them truly knew my heart (then AND now), that perhaps they would have seen that I just wanted to be good, I just wanted to be liked, and I just wanted to fit in. They may have also found out that I have a basic love for all people. I talk to anyone and everyone, anywhere...seriously. My kids think it's an illness. (How do you know that woman mom? me: What Woman? them: The one you were talking to in line at the grocery store. me:I don't know her...)

Lesson we've all heard before? Don't judge a book by it's cover. Simply Said, "Christianity 101".

Hey Crusty-Face, Get Over Yourself and Get A Life!

Why is it that some people are just determined to be MISERABLE? And why is it that they choose to be rude and try to make other people feel miserable too? The only thing I can figure is that they do not have a life, and for some reason creating drama gives them one. Additionally, being rude and ornery and even mean sometimes towards others somehow makes them feel superior... making them forget their pathetic life for a bit.

But I ask these people - Are you happy? Does acting like that really make you feel better? My guess would be it doesn't. Cuz, if it did, you'd be walking around smiling, instead of giving everyone - including me - crusty looks.

That's right. I said it. I see you give me the crusty-face-stink-eye ALL.THE.TIME. Don't think I don't see it. But here's what you need to know (You, meaning All of you Crusty-Givers collectively...not just one person):

1) Every time you do that, I am laughing on the inside. Seriously. Cuz when you act like that, I am just like - Geesh - Get over yourself! What grade are you in? I just laugh at how ridiculous your crusty glares actually end up looking. Too bad you can't see yourself in a mirror when you do that. Plus, dontcha worry that you're gonna get permanent "brow-furrowing" wrinkles?

2) As much as you're trying, you're not hurting me. Seriously. I am an over-all happy person. My life is not perfect, but mostly I am happy. I am sorry that for whatever reason your self-esteem is so bad that you feel the need to walk around handing out crusties like they were awards or something. See - here's the thing. I know that I am loved. I know that I have a wonderful family. I know that I have awesome friends - - who not only WILL do anything for me, but actually HAVE done stuff for me.

Friends have shoveled my walks/driveway when I wasn't home. Friends have offered to take my kids to school or pick them up when I had early or late work obligations. Friends have taken ALL of my kids for the night/weekend so I could sleep or get away for some much needed R&R - and at the last minute usually too. Friends have brought me little pictures or thoughts or sayings. Friends have let me "borrow" and egg, or salt, or the traditional cup of sugar when I am up at midnight baking cuz I can't sleep and then realize I am out of something. Friends have TOLD me that they love me. So, I am not worried about the effect of YOUR crusties. I know I am loved. I am grounded enough in my faith to know that my Heavenly Father loves me too. I am sorry, however, that your life sucks...well, I assume it does, cuz I can't figure why else you would want to walk around looking that like.

3) I don't know what on earth you think I have done to deserve your crusty awards. Too bad you couldn't have just told me in the beginning. It might have saved you about a year's worth of potentially wrinkle-causing crusties.

4) I have tried to talk to you. However, anytime I approach you it's like you scurry away, acting like you didn't see me. So, ya, I gave up months ago.

5) Though your crusties haven't hurt me, and instead make me laugh, they HAVE hurt others. I guess that is why I chose to vent via the blog. I am tired of hearing the same ol' same ol' from others about the crusty awards you hand out. I try to tell them not to let it bother them. Hopefully, eventually, they won't. Just wondered why you gotta be so mean sometimes.

6) Oh - and before I forget... just because a person states "I hate cliques" doesn't mean that they themselves aren't in one. It's kind of like that person who says, "I hate racism, but..." or "I hate gossipping, but..." Ya - it's all the same in my book.

7) Despite what rumors you may have heard or started about me - I am willing to bet that less than half of those are true, if that. I guess it's true what my counselor told me 2 years ago. "Once you get divorced, you will find out who your real friends are. You will find that women especially will go out of their way to be rude or mean you. There are three reasons they do this. 1) they are jealous. They wish they had even the slightest amount of courage to do what you did. 2) They are fearful. They are so insecure in their own relationship that they fear you will go after their husbands. and... 3) They are judgmental. Divorce is like the plague to some women. They look down on others who have opted for divorce, regardless of the reasons.

So here's what I have to say to all of the Crusty-givers out there: Get over yourself, and get a life. Seriously.

Why do I blog about this?

a) Because it makes for great bloggy fodder
b) I'm a bloggy-comment-whore, and this is sure to ensue commentary
c) Because I can.