Facebook Fueling Divorce?

There is an article that claims FB is Fueling Divorces. You can read it {{HERE}} if interested.

My first impression? That is sooooo stupid. Then I thought about how *I* use FB and compare that to how others might use it.

I usually use it on my phone throughout the day. Like if I am waiting for my screen to load on my S-L-O-W work computer. Or on hold with someone on the phone. I admit, I glance through the updates via my Droid and make comments as appropriate. That being said, there are many days I never even glance at FB until after dinner, when I am at home. Normally, that is when I am settling in to do homework, or listen to my boring online Biology lectures. I will have FB up in one tab and my schoolwork in another. Then between lectures, I will take a quick break and gander over to FB. And of course I use FB whenever I have the opportunity to snag a crazy pic with my camera phone. I mean I've GOT to upload to FB and share the little gem with my pals, right? Tee Hee.

As an experiment (after someone "accused" me of ALWAYS being on FB) I tracked my usage of actually spending time on the site a few months ago. Unless I was downloading several new pics for a new photo album, I would spend anywhere from 13-33 minutes a day on FB. Not bad, I think. Like I said... it's more like perusing 30 seconds here, 30 seconds there throughout the day.

That being said, I do know several people that like to play the games or take the quizzes on the plethora of FB apps. I don't think there is anything wrong with that; just like watching TV or reading a magazine. It's a form of entertainment; one I just don't have time for. I think it is when people spend soooooooo much time on it that it becomes addicting, and they begin to neglect their responsibilities. For example, I have heard of a lady who spent so much time on FB, from the moment she got home from work, until the wee hours of the morning, that her husband began to resent her.

The other huge issue I could see is when while connecting with many friends from the past temptations arise. Perhaps not all of a sudden. But you're rekindling a relationship and maybe begin to IM this person and eventually, you start caring more about that person than the person you're married to. You think about that person all the time; sending each other messages, etc. Maybe you even agree to meet. Well, I can see how something like finding an old flame on FB could fuel a divorce. However, I will say that I also think that if this is the case, you probably already had issues in the marriage.

The internet is a very powerful tool. It, like almost anything else, can be used for good or evil. There are many things I have heard of and know that can break up families and marriages. The obvious is of course, pornography. There are things like MySpace and Facebook and other networking sites wherein provides an opportunity to meet or reacquaint ourselves with others.

For me, I choose to avoid the things that make the internet "evil". As a single woman, I am also very careful about whom I talk to on FB. Once, an old high school friend saw I was online and started an IM Chat. Then, about halfway through he said something that could have been perceived as a subtle flirt. It was sort of hard to tell, since I could not hear voice tone inflection. But, since it made me uncomfortable, I figured it was intended as a flirt. My response was, "Does your wife know you flirt like that?" And then I said that I had to go and I haven't talked to him since. Another time, I found an old friend from church, all the way back to our nursery days, if you can imagine. Turns out this guy lives within 30 miles and works downtown; only minutes from where I live and work. He sent me a message per the usual, "Oh my gosh! It's good to see you! Where is everyone now... parents, siblings, etc." I responded in the like. Then he responded with we should grab lunch sometime and catch up.

Now, I know he is harmless. I would never think of him in a romantic way; ever. And I have gone to lunch with male clients and work associates before. BUT, this would be different. It ISN'T work. It's personal. I would never even want to give the appearance that I was meeting a married man for a lunch date. I mean, I am single... but I don't know his wife. I do not know if they are solid or having issues, etc. And I am determined not to be a catalyst for the worst; I am not a home-wrecker. I replied, "Catching up sounds fun! We should get the families together instead. Let me know."

So, yes... in general, I think that FB can be fueling divorces. I think in many cases, there are probably already problems there. In other cases, I think it's like the "flaxen chord" that Satan uses to break up families. Little by little and so sly you don't even know it until it's got a firm grasp on you... choking the life right out of your marriage.

I don't know anyone personally whom fall victim to the "Facebook Fueling Divorce" claims. But I do think it is sad. I hope you don't know anyone either... or even worse, I hope you haven't been a victim of it yourself.

Hey Crusty-Face, Get Over Yourself and Get A Life!

Why is it that some people are just determined to be MISERABLE? And why is it that they choose to be rude and try to make other people feel miserable too? The only thing I can figure is that they do not have a life, and for some reason creating drama gives them one. Additionally, being rude and ornery and even mean sometimes towards others somehow makes them feel superior... making them forget their pathetic life for a bit.

But I ask these people - Are you happy? Does acting like that really make you feel better? My guess would be it doesn't. Cuz, if it did, you'd be walking around smiling, instead of giving everyone - including me - crusty looks.

That's right. I said it. I see you give me the crusty-face-stink-eye ALL.THE.TIME. Don't think I don't see it. But here's what you need to know (You, meaning All of you Crusty-Givers collectively...not just one person):

1) Every time you do that, I am laughing on the inside. Seriously. Cuz when you act like that, I am just like - Geesh - Get over yourself! What grade are you in? I just laugh at how ridiculous your crusty glares actually end up looking. Too bad you can't see yourself in a mirror when you do that. Plus, dontcha worry that you're gonna get permanent "brow-furrowing" wrinkles?

2) As much as you're trying, you're not hurting me. Seriously. I am an over-all happy person. My life is not perfect, but mostly I am happy. I am sorry that for whatever reason your self-esteem is so bad that you feel the need to walk around handing out crusties like they were awards or something. See - here's the thing. I know that I am loved. I know that I have a wonderful family. I know that I have awesome friends - - who not only WILL do anything for me, but actually HAVE done stuff for me.

Friends have shoveled my walks/driveway when I wasn't home. Friends have offered to take my kids to school or pick them up when I had early or late work obligations. Friends have taken ALL of my kids for the night/weekend so I could sleep or get away for some much needed R&R - and at the last minute usually too. Friends have brought me little pictures or thoughts or sayings. Friends have let me "borrow" and egg, or salt, or the traditional cup of sugar when I am up at midnight baking cuz I can't sleep and then realize I am out of something. Friends have TOLD me that they love me. So, I am not worried about the effect of YOUR crusties. I know I am loved. I am grounded enough in my faith to know that my Heavenly Father loves me too. I am sorry, however, that your life sucks...well, I assume it does, cuz I can't figure why else you would want to walk around looking that like.

3) I don't know what on earth you think I have done to deserve your crusty awards. Too bad you couldn't have just told me in the beginning. It might have saved you about a year's worth of potentially wrinkle-causing crusties.

4) I have tried to talk to you. However, anytime I approach you it's like you scurry away, acting like you didn't see me. So, ya, I gave up months ago.

5) Though your crusties haven't hurt me, and instead make me laugh, they HAVE hurt others. I guess that is why I chose to vent via the blog. I am tired of hearing the same ol' same ol' from others about the crusty awards you hand out. I try to tell them not to let it bother them. Hopefully, eventually, they won't. Just wondered why you gotta be so mean sometimes.

6) Oh - and before I forget... just because a person states "I hate cliques" doesn't mean that they themselves aren't in one. It's kind of like that person who says, "I hate racism, but..." or "I hate gossipping, but..." Ya - it's all the same in my book.

7) Despite what rumors you may have heard or started about me - I am willing to bet that less than half of those are true, if that. I guess it's true what my counselor told me 2 years ago. "Once you get divorced, you will find out who your real friends are. You will find that women especially will go out of their way to be rude or mean you. There are three reasons they do this. 1) they are jealous. They wish they had even the slightest amount of courage to do what you did. 2) They are fearful. They are so insecure in their own relationship that they fear you will go after their husbands. and... 3) They are judgmental. Divorce is like the plague to some women. They look down on others who have opted for divorce, regardless of the reasons.

So here's what I have to say to all of the Crusty-givers out there: Get over yourself, and get a life. Seriously.

Why do I blog about this?

a) Because it makes for great bloggy fodder
b) I'm a bloggy-comment-whore, and this is sure to ensue commentary
c) Because I can.