True, I was a pretty straight-laced kid-- no drinking, no smoking, no sex, etc. I tried to be a good daughter-- no arguing, no talking back, cleaning my room, helping around the house, etc. I had this strong desire as a kid and as a teenager to "be good". And for the most part, I think I fared out pretty well, though I certainly had my flaws. As an adult I've still tried and am still trying to be good and to do good, although there are times I still fall short. I think it's say to assume we all have at one time or another; and sometimes the fall isn't so short. Sometimes when we fall it may be a long, dark path.
Heaven knows I've made mistakes. Some mistakes I will unfortunately remember the rest of my life. Although, I believe with acknowledgment, remorse, restitution, behavior change, and repentance, God will take the things we lost from the things we learned and replace them with something better. I am grateful that no matter how many mistakes I've made, and no matter how serious they may have been, there is repentance.
I believe in the atonement of of my Savior and I believe that repentance is available to all persons. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has sent His son for us so that I have the opportunity to repent and to do better and hopefully become the person He already knows me to be.
According to Discovery Health, the average size a woman's heart is about 9 oz and a man's is 10.5 oz. Considering the weight, that isn't very big... not really. And yet from such a small organ we can experience such a great magnitude of emotion. It's a phenomenon, really.
However, what fascinates me about the heart is more than its physical condition. Something I've discussed before {{HERE}}, {{HERE}}, and finally {{HERE}} is that the heart can produce a physiological response as well.
When we act in Love, we can physically feel our heart swell and move to the front of our chest cavity. When we are surrounded by hurt or pain or deep, dark sadness or sorrow, we can feel our heart retract, become small and move to the back of our chest wall. Many may say it's a psychosomatic response. Which is to say it's the reaction of the mind that creates a physical condition change of the heart. Possibly. But I still say it's phenomenal.
If you have been following my blog for any extended amount of time, you will know that I have been through some experiences that, as John Mayer sings, "have offended my faith [in love] and my trust, Until all is lost..." A BIG part of my journey has been to realize the beauty of love in its completeness and in its fullness.
Often times we may hear or have even said the phrases, "You have a good heart" or "You have a big heart" and even, "You have a kind heart". This is something I truly strive for.
Although loving completely takes effort, I believe it is worth it.
On this journey to love, and to love completely and to be loved completely, it is imperative that we become aware of the condition of our heart.
Because of the conscientious effort to change the condition of my heart, I am actually learning that I am able to forgive more easily, heal from heartache more quickly, and give of my love more freely. It's empowering, actually.
Y'know the sentiment "Misery loves company"? Well, I believe, the same is true with love. Love loves company. Love attracts more love.
A friend commented just a few nights ago, "Boy, people sure do seem to love you." That sort of struck me funny. Especially, because there have been moments in my life, including earlier this year, I started to wonder if my personality made me unlovable.
Needless to say, his comment has been on my mind the last two nights since he said it. Today I thought, perhaps maybe they do love me. Maybe I am more lovable than I thought. Then again, perhaps it has more to do with the fact that I give love more freely now than I used to too.
You gotta give love to get love.
In improving the condition of my heart, I have learned this about love in general:
"I'm grateful that God allows trials and tragedies to occur in our lives. Not because they're easy or because they're desired, but because they help us love." - Chris Williams
If any of you from here remember the story of Chris Williams, who lives down at the south end of the Valley, you'll remember the tragedy he suffered a couple of years ago. It was all over the news for what seemed like months. I am continually amazed how, in spite of all sorts of tragedies occurring in our nation every day, there are still people like Chris.
If you have about 8 1/2 minutes, I highly recommend you watch this video about Chris's situation and how he was able to find love in the face of tragedy and how it has helped the condition of his heart to heal from that same tragedy.
