Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I Was A Cry Baby

Normally, I don't let things get to me - with regards to what other people say or do. When I am stressed, depressed or anxious about something, it is usually over something *I* have to get done, or something that I can't get done. Deadlines, school, pressure, work, money, kids... those are the things I usually fret over. If someone looks at me the wrong way, or says stuff behind my back, I usually am like, "whatever". And then, I sort of "weed" that person out of my life. If they want to be like that, then I just don't need to be around them, right? Right.

However, when I am uber-stressed, uber-tired, and feeling overwhelmed I get emotional fairly easy. But again, this usually occurs over matters such as deadlines, school, pressure, work, money, kids, etc. I guess because I am sarcastic much of the time, only those who know me well, see this emotional side to me.

Fact: Sarcastic People Have Feelings Too.

That being said, last week, someone said something to me, in front of a group of people, which I found very hurtful and I cried; like a big fat baby. I mean, seriously -- this was no little tear. I cried and couldn't stop. And then I cried at least three more times. My appetite was ruined. I even left the event early, and called Big-D and cried again while re-telling it.

Let me just say that I HATE that I cried. This usually isn't me.

Case in point. About a year and a half ago, some people, who were supposed to be my friends, were caught up in some gossipping -- about ME! I was oblivious to the entire ordeal. Well, guilt had got the best of two of them, and they came forward and confessed to me what they had done. I didn't cry. Honestly, I hardly felt hurt at all. I thanked them for having the courage to come forward. The one even asked me a few days later if I was ok. I said, "yep". She replied, "but you don't seem upset or angry. I mean you haven't cried or anything." I said, "Nope. For some reason, I am not upset or angry. I think that it is easy to get caught up in something like that, and I respect you more for having the courage to tell me." And honestly, with all truthfulness, I can say that this instance didn't bother me at all. I am still friends with the women as well.

NORMALLY, I am like - if they wanna talk about me, whatever. If they don't like me, who cares? If they don't want to be my friend, so be it. If they think my parenting skills are a little out there, I already know. If they think I'm a little too sarcastic and slightly "dirty-minded", oh well. I just really don't let it bother me.

So, back to this incident. Why did I cry??? Why did it bother me SOOOO much? True, I was tired. True, it was during the week of finals and I was already stressed. True, it was a personal attack. True, it was about something I had worked hard on and felt like was a success. True, it was in front of other people, and True, it caught me off guard. Others whom overheard agreed that it wasn't very nice.

But what bothered me more than her being mean was the fact that it bothered me at all. I really HATE that I cried over it, that I allowed myself to give away my "power" or "control", so to speak.

Now that I have had some time to think a little about it, I guess the "trigger for tears" was that it was something mean said to my face, and it has been a while since that has happened. I mean, I get that not everyone will like me or things that I do or say. But if you wanna say mean things, I'd rather you do it behind my back, hehehe. What's that saying? Ignorance is bliss?

What about you? Do you get offended easily? or do you let things roll off your shoulders pretty easily?


Alice in Wonderland said...

Hi Emma, Just called over to wish you well, and I almost caught you crying! You of all people! Now, come on here girl, people will always talk and gossip because they have nothing better to do in their sad little lives, but you just take a step back and look at all the things that you have achieved...on your own!
You are one strong woman, so don't let them get to you. It's an emotional time of year for all of us just now, but just let those tears roll off your back and know that you are doing a great job with everything that you have had to cope with. Just say to yourself "I'm stronger than that!", and believe me girl, you really are!
Take care, big hugs...now dry those tears and laugh!

Puphigirl said...

Do you know if your spiritual guide called in the mean woman after he talked with you and assured you that he stands behind you?

I also can't get over this woman's self-importance to blame you for why she chose not to join in the neighborhood fun.

The party was a success, everyone there had fun, ate well, and were in good company.

The Willeyes said...

You should be a cry baby. It was mean, uncalled for and just plain rude! I would have cried, and cried some more! I do let things get to me. I take them personally...and I cry :) Sorry you had to go through that!

RhondaLue said...

I once overheard someone saying something about me in a round-about way and it really hurt my feelings because it wasn't true! It was so far from truth that it bugged me to DEATH! I've let it go because I do realize the person that said it is actually just bitter because of her own life circumstances but when someone says something rude to our face..even if they are "friends" I come to the realization that this person or these people are NOT true friends. We can play nice, give treats at holidays, say hello, be kind...but I will never again think of that person as a true friend.

I think I'm cursed, and so is my Desirae who I passed it on to-sorry Dez!- with being an incredibly LOYAL friend and person. I just wouldnt say or do things that other "friends" do or say. Not ever. and loyalty includees being kind TO and ABOUT other people.

Anyway, that mean woman can go look in the mirror at her hateful, mean, and bitter self... And you can look in the mirror and see a beautiful person that works so hard on top of all that is already on her plate and gave the members a great party. I'm sorry she made you cry though. :(

greenolive said...

I feel bad for people who have to be mean and cruel. But I stand in awe of those who just keep on truckin' no matter what someone else says. She may have made you cry and maybe she is proud of that because maybe she thinks she can keep you down. Well, that's one thing she can't do. When she sees you keep on keepin on in good spirits and how much everyone else adores you, than she'll know that she just made a fool of herself and she really didn't hurt you at all. Just let her be miserable and you just keep being your wonderful self.

Holli and Billy said...

I am a HUGE cry baby! But I think you had every reason to cry about that comment. That was so uncalled for! Some people's children... geez.

okeydokeyifine said...

Usually it is the Catch You Off Guard thing...And add the personal attack... That would do it for most people.
Wait...was it something that I said? Nope? Good. Well I have no advice because it saounds like you have it under control. I agree with Green Olives...Keep on Keeping on. LOVE!

Laura said...

I hate the idea of someone talking behind your back Em. How about.. they just keep their opinions to themselves entirely! lol

I've got thoughts going in my head but better I dont leave a comment about it on here! hehe!

Ruthykins said...

it is easy to get caught up in things like that. i try to avoid situations like that, but i usually let people's comments to me about me slide. usually, because i don't care, especially if i'm in the right. i would rather not know that people are talking about me, and i don't want to know what was said.

Paige said...

Aw...I am sure things just piled up on you and hit you wrong. That happens to everyone.

I get my feelings hurt so easily and no one knows it. for example-- last week I mentioned at work that I looked horrid. Truly horrid and why had no one mentioned it. My secretary said--you have looked worse. I KNEW she did not mean to sound hateful, so I laughed and said, "well thanks".

Other people heard her say it though and made fun of her for saying it, so she kept trying to dig her way out of the hole. I really was not bothered by her initial comment, but that somehow I ended up the bad guy to her--that bothered me

pinkelephant said...

On the positive note, it sounds like you needed to cry so it was good you did. It happened to be in front of a group of people and you got annoyed by the fact that you let someone get to you as much as she did, but at least you are not carrying the bomb anymore, you know. Your balloon was about to explode and if you let it go, could have been worse. That's what I think.

She probably was offended by someone so she needed to make someone else feel miserable to keep her company.

Me, my motto is "Don't let anyone decide who you are" Not easy at all though... Hehe

Sweet Sassy Molassy said...

I know Sons of Silence and there is going to be a fire in front of that hosebags house on the 24th. I guarantee it. And remember you don't know nothing, for when the cops come around.

Erika's Site said...

Tears just show you aren't over-medicated and that you are normal. You should get offended at things people say to you and you might want to avoid people who treat you poorly. Mean people always "get theirs". Don't let them win. Disney has ruined our lives by letting us think everything has a happy ending and that we all live in castles and have elves and princess slaves working for us.

Era said...

I try to let things like that roll off my back, but as a human being I sometimes feel really sad about it. It might take me a while to remind myself that neither the event nor the person's opinion define me as a person.