One of my dear friends posted on her blog just the other day about how she is going through some stuff but in choosing to be happy, she bites her tongue to keep from crying. She then asked if any of her followers/friends did the same thing. I replied,
"I don't do anything to keep from crying. I just cry...until I am done crying. Sometimes it takes a LONG time to be done crying. At one point in my life I went for a very long period wherein I felt like crying and DID nearly every day. I think it lasted for about four years."
It's true. I spent a lot of time secretly (and sometimes not-so-secretly) crying. It's how I relieve stress.
Usually (at LEAST) once per semester I have a major-minor meltdown. Usually it stems from feeling overwhelmed, lots going on at home and work, lots of projects and homework for school... and very, very, VERY little sleep. Did I mention no sleep makes me cry?
It's when I get to THAT point that just about ANYTHING will trigger the tears. Someone might look at me funny, or say something that rubs me the wrong way. Or perhaps I get frustrated over a mistake I've made. Heck -- it could be some sappy commercial or a sad story on the news. It could even be (and most often is) the simple inquisition, "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?" If someone even so much as ASKS me that while I am feeling this way -- Game Over. Let the cry-fest commence!
So yes, dear readers. It's about that time. I can feel it. The headaches are daily. The sleep is practically non-existent. The feelings of loneliness seem to be magnified. The homework is overwhelming. The work, busy. I can tell it's about that time because I've had that "lump" in my throat for a few days now.
I almost lost it at the dentist earlier, but I think it's because they had to crank the Nitrous up a little bit more than normal. I had to take a nap during lunch just to sleep off the effects.
So, just know that if I'm crying over "nothing", it's all good. I really am okay. No need to feel sorry for me... it's just how I "cope". Another 2 weeks and the semester will be over and I will get a few weeks off before the Summer semester starts.
I suppose, worse case scenario, if I don't get the tears out by the weekend I'll put a sappy movie on before finals next week! haha!