"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."
I have recited this scripture to myself many times since first memorizing it as a 16 year-old. And it is a good reminder that the Lord has a plan for me, and that if I pursue in Faith I can realize that plan.
However, in case you didn't know, I have mild Anxiety Disorder. I used to stress and worry over things as a child and sometimes even to a point of hyperventilating. I didn't know until I was an adult that it was called Anxiety. I've learned certain triggers and can practice certain relaxation techniques when I feel an anxiety attack coming on. But in general, I still tend to have an anxious mind. I am constantly thinking what-if's and what-could-be's and suppose-this or suppose-that. Many times this anxiety keeps me up at night. Did you ever read those "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" books as a kid? There were several possible scenarios and it would say things like, "To see what happens if Jane goes into the house, turn to page 25. Otherwise, keep reading." I loved those books, except I would have to read and reread it several times to see how ALL of the scenarios played out. It could get pretty crazy trying to keep track of them all. Well, let's just say I sort of play the same game in my mind with my real-life "adventures", and yes... it can get a little crazy up there too. ;)
In church last Sunday, we had a youth speaker and he shared a personal experience. There was a task he was asked to volunteer for, and over which he was experiencing some anxiety. He discussed it with his father who gave him some words of advice. "Take it to the Lord and He will make you equal to the task."
I love that. I wrote it down. I have thought about that time and time again through out this past week. How many times am I presented with an opportunity in which I feel inadequate? Or nervous? Or uncertain? It was a great reminder that I need to do as the Scripture says and Trust in the Lord with all my heart. In order to fully trust, of course I need to first "take it to the Lord", in prayer.
I've had some events unfold in my life very recently. On the one hand I am feeling truly happy and excited. But in the back of my mind lie the voices and fear and doubt. I am taking it to the Lord, daily, and I am learning to Trust. I am hopeful and prayerful that He will make me equal to the task.
I don't know the end from the beginning. And I am not sure how all of this will play out. But I am confident that by doing my part (prayer, act in faith, etc.) that all things will work together for my good, and whatever is supposed to happen, will.