Today is my 100th Blog Post!!! YEA for me!!! So, since the birth of this blog, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. But I nurtured it and cared for it, and am watching it grow. So today in celebration of the 100th post, I'd like to take a trip down Bloggy-Love Lane and post 100 quotes found on my blog. PART ONE: 50 Quotes from MY posts. PART TWO: 50 quotes from YOUR Comments. (See if you can figure out which ones are yours.) Enjoy!
50 Quotes from MY posts:
1 - "Like it's your first day of Kindergarten, but with hormones."
2-"As a teen-ager, I was a make-out queen. "
3-"I am still the all-powerful, almighty Captain of the Vitamins and Queen of the Front-Seat, and I still got it going on!" (three snaps)
4-"I'm gonna kill you with my kisses!"
5-"We've known each other less than 24 hours, and we've already had drinks, went up to Make-Out Point, and spent the entire night together."
6-"I'm not freaking out, as long as you promise not to kill me."
7-"He is done with you, but doesn't have the Kahones to tell you."
8-"Get your hand outta your pants, get off the sofa, and go get a job!"
9- "We had this mean, nasty, drop down, drag out cat-fight in the middle of the hall outside the locker room, without having said even a word to each other."
10-"NiceGirl To The Rescue!...Saving men everywhere from Witches with Capital B's"
11-"There is no guarantee that I won't pee in his car!"
12-"And I was probably the chick checking out all of the guys that weren't crying."
13-"Even if I hadn't been slurring my words, everyone knew I was sleep deprived because it was Ugly Glasses Day."
14- "It only takes 6 minutes (or less) for a girl to get pregnant."
15-"Hey! At least I put on a bra and brushed my teeth first."
16- "I covered my mouth with my hand in an effort to keep my promise."
17-"Probably the fact that I am not as funny as I think I am makes me even funnier."
18-"And just what about those boys in the back of the bus?"
19-"Based on complex theorems and empirical data, Hat Dude determines that in order to accomplish his objective in an expediential manner, he needs to, on average achieve a minimum of 3 dates per weekend."
20-"I remind him that it will be hot outside and he will be sweaty and going to a second date covered in 'first-date sweat' is disgusting."
21-"I tell him that was a "two-for".....she doesn't get a second date."
22-"I tell the lady, that I don't think I can go "shi-shi" at the moment."
23-"I got news for you, Creamsicle Man, Barium Sulfate Solution is going to taste like crap no matter what flavor syrup you add."
24-"And by the way, why does everyone "love the outdoors" and "long walks on the beach"?"
25-"What's in a name? that which we call crap. By any other name would smell just like crap;"
26- "It's just better when I am numb and high!"
27-"If you two don't stop fighting, I'm gonna break your arms off and beat you up one side and down the other with them."
28-"For Sale: One Brain. Slightly used. Occasional Brain Farts. Needs to be recharged. Otherwise in good condition."
29-"The best part about teamwork is when everyone else does what I say".
30-"Mom says to call - that you're about to pee your pants."
31- "Then I take a pair of scissors and attempt to cut out the tiniest homemade paper snowflake the world has ever seen."
32-"I pass the hallway bathroom - and the door is wide open - and there he is, on the John, with his pants down around his ankles, reading a magazine!!!"
33-"I brought a change of clothes for my daughter," she announces in this booming voice that just seems to echo through the corridors of time.
34-"But not only did she wear the polyester stretchy pants with the rabbit pouch tied to her hip and then skate... She was a totally awesome skater!!!"
35-"When you "let one" slip in public, leaving no warning for those unsuspecting victims, like me, who innocently walk into your "fart-cloud" practically choking - leaving me to pay twice, as now all those behind ME, think I was the culprit of the aforementioned vapor!!!"
36-"I don't think he'd beat them within an inch of their lives...and yet - this is the answer that immediately pops into my head as I am sitting here writing this - laughing."
37-"Yeah! Well Jesus Wouldn't have stolen his sister's quarters!"
38-"Being well-endowed in the chesticle dept, I "arranged" and "rearranged" the girls so there would be room for all of us."
39-"He replies that he hasn't read the books and that even though he likes him as the character Jason Bourne, he stops short of admitting a man-crush on Matt Damon."
40-"Should you fail to vacate, immediate action will be taken to remove your presence, which may involve physical force up to and including death, if necessary."
41-"How stinky is the boy?"
42-"I've played Capture the Flag in my underwear."
43-"So here's to a good dinner followed by action, blood, drama, "crack" and staying warm at the game!"
44-"What the Freak? My Mother is on Facebook?"
45-"I LOVE eating hard peeps...mmm."
46- "Dungeons & Dragons called. They want their medieval curtains back."
47- "Oh - and Karen wants her Bedazzler back from 1989."
48- "Anyway, that settled it - after performing said juggling tune, I felt obligated to order something...Chicken McNuggets it was."
49- "The Father of the Bride had the longest, whitest mullet I'd ever seen."
50- "Respect is good, but your man crush is starting to freak him out."
1-wanna compare laundry piles some time?
2-You are one sexy mama!
3-go ahead and use 'craptastic'. I am positive I am not the originator...
4-You are the funniest person I know!
5-Should I be calling you Captain or Queen or just "Queen Captain?"
6-nice! i can't wait for mom to call you!
7-You forgot to mention how perfectly your hand fit in his!!! Bwahahahahaha!
8-you should take 'em in Polka Dotted Granny Panties!!
9-I'm glad to hear that he's not dead.
10-by the way, mom read your blog.
11-can't stop laughing girl, can't stop laughing!!!
12-Did "nice girl" have a cape to go with her title?
13-your way with words is addicting
14-Your life makes me tired just reading about it
15-I think your talking will make you famous someday.
16-Conundrum indeed! I need a whiteboard for the "dudes"
17-the trans vaginal sonogram caught me off guard too.
18-oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing!!! You NEED TO WRITE A BOOK~!!!!!
19-this is as my kids say, "pee your pants funny!!!!!!!!!!"
20-You are a great at mindless muse. I love it.
21-Wow a special appearance by Hat Dude himself.
22-I thought I saw your brain yesterday joyriding down the street.
24-this freakin' post made me lol.
25-You are so right about the nasty people and the dirty store.
26-I am still laughing hysterically about the fart cloud.
27-p.s. bring back gnomes
28- I like your product placement of the Cheetos. Do you get paid for that?
29-The first period was always the worst for any young girl.
30-Ah the phone company, it's such a love hate relationship.
31-hey, you make it look like i'm a puppet in mom's hands. really i'm just insanely curious.
32-I wanna be a puppet.
33-I say "pray tell", too.
34-I like that you say, and I quote "What The Freak?"
35-I need training in being a "Meanie Mom"...when are you coming up again?
36-Dude, my name might have been Emma in another life.
37-i'm just going to say, "meat hooks".
38-Ok all us Double Dangs can relate!
39-I even blushed about the story of your very romantic first date.
40-it does seem that that sort of spooning can get you places, too.
41-In 2000 you look like Kim from Edward Scissorhands.
42-i'd love to be sportin' the bouffant!
43- Geek or not...he's pretty darn cute!
44- So I see that Big D is a real person.
45- derek is a huge computer geek.
46- Bow chicka WA-WAAAAAAAA
47-May I suggest moving to England?
49- I saw parts of people I didn't even know existed!
50-While it's not an excuse, I do remember them being THE most comfortable pants to wear on the "I am retaining so much water Macy's just slapped a logo on my bum" days... Just think of them as the yoga pants of yesteryear.
They are all pretty funny, but even more so taken out of context, don't you think??? And I think YOUR comments are funnier than mine! Thanks to all who have contributed with their clever and witty comments, and in helping me make it to my 100th post!