Reasons I Probably Would Not Go Out With You

• You're too young.
• You're too old.
• You're too short.
• You're too scrawny.
• You're too bulky.
• You have a comb-over, which means you are either A)Insecure B) In Denial C) You Rationalize D) You believe the myth that bald=old looking. (Hello! Have you SEEN Mr. Clean?) E) All of the above.
• You have bad breath.
• You use that "natural stone" deodorant and you think you don't need real deodorant (which is a mistake, by the way).
• You think regular showers are frivolous.
• You bathe in your cologne.
• You're in denial about the "spare tire" forming around your midriff and therefore where shirts 2 sizes too small and those poor buttons are hanging on for dear life!
• You talk too much.
• You don't talk enough.
• You don't find me funny -- or worse -- you don't "get" my jokes.
• You think we should stay in Church Clothes all day on Sunday.
• You won't go to church on Sunday.
• You Drink.
• You Smoke
• You lie.
• You're into yourself more than me.
• You drive a Volkswagon Bug.
• You are a high-talker.
• You are a mumbler.
• You have bad grammar.
• Any of your visible teeth are gold.
• You have a foot fetish.
• You correct me too often.
• I have to correct you too often
• You are picky eater.
• You never go anywhere without your satchel on your shoulder.
• You are afraid of spiders, snakes, mice, or anything of the kind.
• You chew with your mouth open.
• You are a mouth breather.
• You are of the opinion that only kids wear braces.
• You don't have a job.
• You think there is a possibility that you *might* have kids out there somewhere.

.... I am sure there are more - but that's a good start!