Thursday, May 28, 2009

Comments That Inspire, Part Three

Ok - so, here is the last "blogisode" (I think I just made up a new word - feel free to use it.) of my "Comments That Inspire" Trilogy. I know this one was about a month ago, but I still crack myself up just thinking about it. (I know. I am a dork.)

Anyway, let me give you a little preface. My sister over at Am I Going Crazy? (click here for full post) had blogged about her lovely experience being called for Jury Selection. Now, you must picture this: a 7 1/2 month pregnant woman who is uncomfortable and has a hard time sitting AND has 4 boys (all under 5 years old) at home AND with only one vehicle AND whose children had just started Little League AND who already had a dr. appt scheduled, due to said pregnancy, being called for jury selection. Surely, the judge would take one look at her and say, "you're excused", right? Ahhh, no. Didn't happen. Instead, the result was a very bad day which led to a very funny post (sorry, Sarah). Anyway, as it turned out, people were being excused from jury duty based on what they wrote on their form - not so much about what they had to say.




Emmap said...


[next time] on the questionnaire you write this, "i don't like no one. peeples make me angree. i only like the whites, like me. i no like none of dem ol peeples neither. i dont like men. dey is pigs. once i was arestid but it aint my fault." then when they get to you, you just start grabbing your belly and jumping up and down a little. if they don't notice that, start leaning forward and moaning. if all else fails, pour water down your pants and then stand up and yell, "i think my water broke..."if anything - at least SQUIRM in your seat, TONS. Act agitated. Act uncomfortable. IT shouldn't be a stretch... cuz you DO have a hard time sitting all day. Maybe they'll get a replacement for you.

oh - and also - next time on your form write, "i loves the govment. if it aint for dem, my babies an i dont eat. love dem food stamp cards y'all gives out..."


Ya, you'll probably get excused.

11 comments:

Kaye Butler said...

I too was not excused from jury duty until the last minute one time. Funeral directors are usually excused. Not me. I ran against the Circuit Clerk one year for his position and I think he might have remembered it. I was not excused.

Said Circuit Clerk forgot that I had also worked for several defense attorneys (who all practiced in the same building) and I had worked for the prosecuting attorney.

I get called to sit, the attorney's look at me confused and ask the Judge why was I not excused? Judge says I don't know (circuit clerk is smirking in his little corner). Prosecutor and the defense attorney both say at the same time "She used to be my secretary, she should have been excused the 1st day."

Judge gives Circuit Clerk a dirty look and I said "That's what I told the Circuit Clerk and he said NOPE." Mrs. Butler is excused.

Take that you ol peeples...

Oh, I got paid $15 per day for sitting there...wow

Era said...

You've outdone yourself. That was bust a gut funny!

I got called for jury selection. They didn't excuse me, but due to some technical difficulty they sent all of us home. Still got the $15 so, not a total waste. I know, I'm so civicly minded :)

Yaya said...

Okay, now I know you are being funny...but seriously, I kind of do this to get out of jury duty....seriously...works like a charm!

Cindy said...

If I stop laughing at your comment, I might just think of something to say. That was good.

EmmaP said...

I probably shoulda mentioned too that my sis would probably never write any of that since she loves everyone regardless of race, religion, culture, size, shape, or age.

debilyn said...

i think i might just wee on myself after that...

HI.LAR.I.OUS. :)

Ruthykins said...

okay emma, just a one thing. only three of sarah's kids are 5 and under. the oldest is almost seven. other than that, i think your story was totally on the mark.
i don't know what i would do if i ever got called to a jury. part of me feels like it might be kinda neat to see the judicial process up close. another part feels that it is my civic duty and that if we are to live in a civilization then there must be rules and consequences and someone to carry that out. and finally, another part of me says what the heck would i do with my two little ones if i had to be gone all day in a court room.

RhondaLue said...

a HA HA HA! Funny!

I just got my excused notice. I had to get a Dr's note becuase unless they have a bed I can lay down in and stretch out on every 30-60 minutes I can't do it. I got excused last time based on my own letter consisting of 6 kids in 4 diff schools, not only do I not have anyone to watch them but I also don't have any friends with big enough vehicles to fit their kids, my kids, and the kids they'd need to pick up and drop off to said 4 schools. Got excused then too but then got the summer notice. They're onto me! (seriously:I really would love to serve when I'm not immersed in child rearing and schedules that are crazy!)

purplehaze said...

But you didn't tell them the "REST of the story"..about how she was late for the little league. I felt so bad for her when nursemom was telling me the story.

Tulsi said...

I've only been "asked" once. Luckily it was for a DUI charge against an attorney. My daughter was friends with his. Because of Steve's profession all I have to say is that we have discussed the case and I have an opinion. In the above case I had the opinion that he was guilty and shouldn't drink and drive. My son would totally write like that. Just to bug his English teachers.

Vickie said...

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was so hilarious! Have to change my underwear again for the second time today!!

I haven't been called to jury duty since 1994. I am not to upset:)