Ok - so, here is the last "blogisode" (I think I just made up a new word - feel free to use it.) of my "Comments That Inspire" Trilogy. I know this one was about a month ago, but I still crack myself up just thinking about it. (I know. I am a dork.)
Anyway, let me give you a little preface. My sister over at Am I Going Crazy? (click here for full post) had blogged about her lovely experience being called for Jury Selection. Now, you must picture this: a 7 1/2 month pregnant woman who is uncomfortable and has a hard time sitting AND has 4 boys (all under 5 years old) at home AND with only one vehicle AND whose children had just started Little League AND who already had a dr. appt scheduled, due to said pregnancy, being called for jury selection. Surely, the judge would take one look at her and say, "you're excused", right? Ahhh, no. Didn't happen. Instead, the result was a very bad day which led to a very funny post (sorry, Sarah). Anyway, as it turned out, people were being excused from jury duty based on what they wrote on their form - not so much about what they had to say.
[next time] on the questionnaire you write this, "i don't like no one. peeples make me angree. i only like the whites, like me. i no like none of dem ol peeples neither. i dont like men. dey is pigs. once i was arestid but it aint my fault." then when they get to you, you just start grabbing your belly and jumping up and down a little. if they don't notice that, start leaning forward and moaning. if all else fails, pour water down your pants and then stand up and yell, "i think my water broke..."if anything - at least SQUIRM in your seat, TONS. Act agitated. Act uncomfortable. IT shouldn't be a stretch... cuz you DO have a hard time sitting all day. Maybe they'll get a replacement for you.
oh - and also - next time on your form write, "i loves the govment. if it aint for dem, my babies an i dont eat. love dem food stamp cards y'all gives out..."
Ya, you'll probably get excused.