I was out running a few errands the other day and had to stop in at Target. The frigid temperatures outside did that thing that it often does when I'm out and about, trying to get stuff done in a timely fashion. It triggered my bladder. I dashed into the Women's Restroom and headed quickly for a stall. Right behind me was a mother and her little girl who obviously had her bladder triggered too.
They end up in the stall right next to me. I overhear the usual stuff that one hears when a Mommy is helping her newly potty-trained child. Things like, "Hurry and go potty, so we can finish our shopping." But I never expected to hear what ensued next.
"Mommy?" the little girl begins. "You know that 'spare-gus we eated for lunch?"
"A-Spar-a-gus," corrects the mommy, enunciating each syllable.
"A-spar-a-gus," repeats the little girl. "Well, I think a-spar-a-gus makes me go Stinky Pee!"
"Ok, sweetie," says the mommy, obviously embarrassed by her public-restroom confession. "Just finish going potty so we can get our shopping done."
Of course I want to break out into laughter. This is just too funny. Instead, I use restraint and stifle them.
"Pee-Eww!" the little girl exclaims. "Stink-y Pee! I don't think I'm a gonna eat that a-spar-a-gus anymore. No way Jose!"
With that, a third party in a nearby un-known stall chuckles. So then the mommy can't help but laugh a little too.
"Ok sweetie," she chuckles. "Are you about done now?"
"Oh no," claims the little girl in a slightly strained voice. "I think I got a poopy coming too!"
At that, the unknown stall-lady breaks into hysterics. To make matters worse, the air bubbles she's been obviously trying to hold in until we all left came flying out with each guffaw!
"Brrmp! Brrmp! Brrmp!"
We all hear it. There's no denying it. I can't contain my laughter any longer, and neither can the mommy. By this time, everyone in the Target Women's Restroom is laughing hideously.
"What's so funny, Mommy?" pleads the little girl. "Cuz someone tooted?"
And of course that invokes another round of laughter from everyone. The mommy is laughing so hard, she can't even respond to her innocent little daughter.
Just then an unsuspecting shopper enters the restroom and declares, "Sounds like a party in here!" before entering a stall of her own. Once again, we all laughed. At this point tears are rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard.
Toilets flush. Stall doors open. The Mommy and the little girl appear from their stall and I emerge from mine. The unknown stall-lady however, remains. I can see from the reflection in the mirror that her pants are down to her ankles, and figured she has probably been in there a while. I am sure she was embarrassed by her untimely tooting just a few moments earlier.
We proceed to wash our hands. I smile at the little girl. She smiles back. I flashed a look of condolences to the mother, who was still letting a few chuckles slip while shaking her head from side to side.
Then we exited the restroom, leaving behind the unknown stall-lady, in hopes that she could salvage any remaining dignity with a private departure of her own.