Monday, January 12, 2009

Target and the Stinky Pee

I was out running a few errands the other day and had to stop in at Target. The frigid temperatures outside did that thing that it often does when I'm out and about, trying to get stuff done in a timely fashion. It triggered my bladder. I dashed into the Women's Restroom and headed quickly for a stall. Right behind me was a mother and her little girl who obviously had her bladder triggered too.

They end up in the stall right next to me. I overhear the usual stuff that one hears when a Mommy is helping her newly potty-trained child. Things like, "Hurry and go potty, so we can finish our shopping." But I never expected to hear what ensued next.

"Mommy?" the little girl begins. "You know that 'spare-gus we eated for lunch?"
"A-Spar-a-gus," corrects the mommy, enunciating each syllable.
"A-spar-a-gus," repeats the little girl. "Well, I think a-spar-a-gus makes me go Stinky Pee!"
"Ok, sweetie," says the mommy, obviously embarrassed by her public-restroom confession. "Just finish going potty so we can get our shopping done."

Of course I want to break out into laughter. This is just too funny. Instead, I use restraint and stifle them.

"Pee-Eww!" the little girl exclaims. "Stink-y Pee! I don't think I'm a gonna eat that a-spar-a-gus anymore. No way Jose!"

With that, a third party in a nearby un-known stall chuckles. So then the mommy can't help but laugh a little too.

"Ok sweetie," she chuckles. "Are you about done now?"
"Oh no," claims the little girl in a slightly strained voice. "I think I got a poopy coming too!"

At that, the unknown stall-lady breaks into hysterics. To make matters worse, the air bubbles she's been obviously trying to hold in until we all left came flying out with each guffaw!

"Brrmp! Brrmp! Brrmp!"

We all hear it. There's no denying it. I can't contain my laughter any longer, and neither can the mommy. By this time, everyone in the Target Women's Restroom is laughing hideously.

"What's so funny, Mommy?" pleads the little girl. "Cuz someone tooted?"

And of course that invokes another round of laughter from everyone. The mommy is laughing so hard, she can't even respond to her innocent little daughter.

Just then an unsuspecting shopper enters the restroom and declares, "Sounds like a party in here!" before entering a stall of her own. Once again, we all laughed. At this point tears are rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard.

Toilets flush. Stall doors open. The Mommy and the little girl appear from their stall and I emerge from mine. The unknown stall-lady however, remains. I can see from the reflection in the mirror that her pants are down to her ankles, and figured she has probably been in there a while. I am sure she was embarrassed by her untimely tooting just a few moments earlier.

We proceed to wash our hands. I smile at the little girl. She smiles back. I flashed a look of condolences to the mother, who was still letting a few chuckles slip while shaking her head from side to side.

Then we exited the restroom, leaving behind the unknown stall-lady, in hopes that she could salvage any remaining dignity with a private departure of her own.

57 comments:

Yaya said...

Too funny!

Asparagus does actually chemically alter your pee!

Louise said...

This is hilarious. I'm sure I would have joined the party too! And as Yaya said, the little girl was right about the asparagus. From Louise, visiting from BATW.

Blue Castle said...

Oh my word. It's so nice when I can start the day off laughing. This is just too funny. :)

greenolive said...

Public restroom humor is the best.

Denise said...

So funny! Thanks for the laugh :-)

RhondaLue said...

I always have the slight urge to wear a face mask when going into public restrooms. You never know who's been eating asparagus or tooting right before ya enter.

That's funny! Gotta love kids.

Oh and try to steer clear of the restrooms in JCPenney's....for some reason they always, always smell. People get some sort of stomach problems in Penney's a LOT, I think.

Mrs. S said...

hahahahahhahahahahahah that is TOOOO funny! I loved that and needed it today!

Debbi said...

HAHAH, that's awesome!!!

Vickie said...

That was so fuuny. I was laughing so hard, I had tears. That was just great, thanks.

Tamie said...

that was laugh-out-loud funny! seriously, my boys came in there wondering what was just so funny to me.
sigh...the joys of the honest litle kiddlets! actually it is rather refreshing, and we all know that we could use a good laugh every day (more actually!)

andrea said...

Bathroom humour is fantastically inappropriate.

Susie said...

I love a good fart joke!!

Megan said...

Hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Blog Stalker said...

WOW EMMA, I can actually use the lol because I was totally laughing out loud for reals. Kids really do say the darndest things!

I really needed this funny read, thanks

Have a great day!

Shauna said...

I'm new here! What a great blog :)

Ruthykins said...

can't tell you how many times i've been the unknown stall-lady. i agree with greenolive that public restroom humor is the best.

Ronnica said...

My problem is when someone is having those type of issues at work, and there is just 2 of us in the bathroom. It's one thing when it's a stranger or a even a friend, but a work acquaintance makes it AWKWARD.

Kaye Butler said...

I was laughing so hard, YARM13YOL, said, "what's wrong with you?"

Because obiviously I'm an adult and not allowed to laugh. My only job in life is to emabarrass her and RUIN HER 13 YEAR OLD LIFE.

Darn it. I can laugh if I freakin want to.

I feel better now. Sorry

Kaye Butler said...

You got a few laughs out of Tim!!!

Debbie said...

Still so funny...oh my word...I can picture the whole thing in my head...

Mom Taxi Julie said...

OMG that's too funny!

Sharon (sk) said...

bahahaha!! Too funny!!!! heehee!!

ladyfi said...

Hilarious! Bathroom humour at its best!

Sarah said...

SO FUNNY! I'm laughing out loud here and just have to share this one with my friends! Priceless! Thanks for sharing - I'm going to bed laughing!

Ruthanne said...

Asparagus DOES makes your pee stinky! I like it anyway though. :D

That story is hilarious - children had such flavor to life!

Valerie said...

Visiting from BATW. That was hilarious. Kids - you gotta love em.

Lauren W said...

HAHAHAHA! Too funny :)

Creative Junkie said...

That made me laugh this morning!

Lisa Human: Human Touch Designs said...

Thanks for the giggle this morning! Nothing like little kids and potty humor, ha! Stopping by from Blogs Around The World :)

Joy in the Burbs... said...

What is with asparagus and the stinky pee. So funny.
I wish I could get my little girls to eat asparagus. I admire that mom.
Kids are great in public restrooms. I love when they ask you some bizarre question about your body while your in there with them.
Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Joy

Tina said...

Absolutely hilarious! Never eaten 'sparagus myself so I wouldn't know about the stinky pee effect. But I know how hard it is not to laugh in a sit like that. I was in a stall once and this lady came rushing in, headed for the stall, and like 3 seconds later I heard this moaning, like 'oh yeah'. That, oh my I gotta pee I gotta pee where the heck is the bathroom moan... almost didnt make it. And yes, I laughed out loud. Hey, we've ALL been there.

Akela Joy said...

Kids say the cutest things at the cutest of times!

Jenners said...

Hey-- I'm back again. Just stopped by BATW to visit whoever was up today and it was you! This was one funny story! I started laughing like I was there too!

Ashley said...

Hehe! Too funny.

Lady Dorothy said...

LOL! I bet everyone involved had a much better errand/shopping day with such a great laugh party!

Lynda said...

Okay - that really was funny! Greetings from BATW and Texas :-)

Angela said...

Hi from a fellow BATW girl! Too funny! Kids talking in bathrooms about bodily functions crack me up because they NEVER EVER do it quietly!

Mary said...

This is just another confirmation of my theory that the funniest posts always have farts in them. What is that about? Anyway, thanks for the laugh!

Mary said...

OMG . . . I agree that the posts I find REALLY funny for some reason always include farts! Thanks! http://lipstickdaily.com

Rebecca said...

THAT WAS PRICELESS! Visiting from BATW.

Aubrey said...

I have tears running from my eyes and I am laughing my head off. My teen had to come over here and see what was going on.
THIS was too much.

Coming over from BATW!

Jenkins said...

I love it. That is too funny! Nothing like a child to put things into words that adults would never imagine saying out loud.
Oh the things that happen in a public restroom!
Wonder if the mystery lady reads your blog...

Sydney said...

Hilarious! I know only one person who says asparagus does nothing to change him! Can he be telling the truth????

Vickie said...

Hey Emma, visiting this post again thru BATW. This post will never get old. It is still funny!

JourneytoFamily said...

That is an awesome story!!! Hilarious! (visiting from BATW)

Brenda Jean said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm so jealous. I want a bathroom party:) What a great post!

Joy said...

LOL! Too funny.

Tracy P. said...

Oh, good thing Debbie uncovered this one for us! Hilarious!

EADotCom said...

I laughed out loud! Well written. I plan to link you with my reader.

Alicia @ Oh2122 said...

Totally a laugh out loud moment.

And our turns eventually come... I have a 22 month old, and I know he's working on something extra special for me...

Sally-Ann said...

Stopping by from BATW. Great post. I think the funniest thing I have heard in a public restroom was in the LA airport. A Asian mother was scolding her daughter for something, "You can't do that now, we are in the United States of America now - there are CRAZY people!"

Vicki said...

I love toilet tales. Thanks for the laughs.
Visiting from BATW

Gombojav Tribe said...

Now you're PFF! Potty Friends Forever!

:-)

Jennifer said...

What an awsome, hilarious story. Thanks for sharing that. Visiting from BATW, Utah.

Laura said...

oh my gosh!!!! that is SOOOOO funny!!!!

Rachel Ann said...

Just roaming the net...found you through BATW...and I see you are a SITS girl!

That was stinkin' hilarious!! I was laughing out loud while sitting at my desk reading it, hoping no one walked into my office!

neel said...

That was hilarious! can't stop laughing..