The Case of the Evil Phone Company

Ok - so yesterday was a day from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks! Yes - I was reduced to tears. I woke up tired and groggy. I had too much to do. Had to pay this bill and that bill and this bill and that bill... Anyway, I felt overwhelmed. It just seemed like a very good day to C-R-Y!!!

To top it off I had a very lengthy conversation with the Spawn of Evil, who just happens to work for my wireless service provider. I won't mention any names, but it rhymes with BEST and starts with a QW- !!!

At any rate, to make a very LONG story short - last month I called Evil Phone Company to discuss the possibility of getting upgraded to a new phone, cuz I want one that syncs with my Outlook, so I don't miss any more appointments. (If you remember last month - I had forgotten 3 appointments, not to mention my own kid's First Day of School!) At any rate, last month, while I was on the phone with Customer Service Twit #1 we discussed my calling plan and my minute usage, and the fact that I had upgraded plans, which the bill had not yet reflected. She had to put me on hold like three times to "check something". She finally assured me that my billing discrepancy had been taken care of.

Fast forward to yesterday - when my phone stopped working!!! I thought that was extremely odd. I called Evil Phone Company and talked to Customer Service Twit #2, who knew absolutely nothing. Finally, exasperated, I asked to speak to a supervisor. That is when I got forwarded to the Spawn of Evil. He tries to explain what has happened according to the "notes" on my account. I, in turn try to explain to him that the "notes" on my account were inaccurate. Evil Spawn did not compute.

Finally after about 3 rounds of Stale Mate, I say to Evil Spawn, "Just tell me what I have to do to get my wireless service restored." He tells me that the discrepancy was never taken care of and that Cust Serv Twit #1 gave me the wrong info to begin with, and the discrepancy was never really a discrepancy. And in order to restore my service I had to pay like a Million More Dollars! Ok - maybe not a Million. But he could have said any amount and it would have felt like a Million, cuz I am a single mom and with the current housing market...my commission checks have been a little anorexic lately.

At this point I feel like - how did Juno MacGuff put it - "Forshizz Up the Spout!" and am reduced to tears. Evil Spawn must have felt a little guilty for talking down to me, as he agreed to waive some of the fees. I pay the amount of the discrepancy and he in turn informs me that my wireless services will be restored within the next 15 minutes to 24 hours!!! I was like, "are you freakin kidding me?"

Afterwards, I went over to Big-D's, in search of a place of respite and a big empathetic hug. He greets me at the door with said big hug, and suddenly I feel "all better" - like when NurseMom used to kiss my boo-boos. Big-D also tells me that phone companies always say "15 min - 24 hrs", but it is usually more like an hour.

So - this morning, when my phone STILL did not work, I call Evil Phone Company and inquire as to the status of my restoration. I actually get connected to someone with a Great Attitude and Brains that Work! Phone Company Princess tells me she would be delighted to check on the status of my service - DELIGHTED!!! After being placed on hold for under 1 minute she returns and begins to apologize profusely, stating that she sees in my account Evil Spawn requested for my services to be restored, but that he never "submitted" it or "processed" it or whatever. Duh! She tells me she will have it back on in less than two minutes!!! I still don't understand why Evil Spawn couldn't have done that to begin with. My Hero! True to her word, my cell phone worked almost immediately. All was right with the universe. Three Cheers for Phone Company Princess!!!

Big-D thinks I should ask for a free new phone for my troubles. Good thinking, Big-D. That's exactly why I keep you around!

All right...that and some other stuff too...