Thursday, June 5, 2008

Nice Girl to the Rescue!

So, I was chatting with College Guy today and we were talking about college, of course. Reminiscing about things we did and people we knew. When we were in college, College Guy & I used to tell each other almost everything. He would tell me about dates he went on and girls he kissed, and I would tell him about the dates I went on and the guys I kissed. It was cool, because we could give each other advice from the perspective of the opposite sex. We were never more than really good friends. He was the "nice guy" and I was the "nice girl". Nevertheless, we did tend to get jealous of the other person's time spent with various dates or potential relationships.

College Guy pointed out that I was always very competitive with the girls he dated, even though I wasn't attracted to him in that way. He is right. I am competitive. I started to laugh when he reminded me of this, because immediately two experiences from my past came rushing back to the forefront of my mind.

Back home in Indiana, our church had a Stake Youth Dance on the first Saturday of every month. We got to see our fellow church-member friends from about 3 different counties. Anyway, there was this boy, I will call him Suspender Boy (cuz those were really super-duper cool back then and he wore them at the dance) and we danced and danced together all night long. His parents were the DJs, and I thought this was way cool, which made Suspender Boy way cool in my book. At any rate, we had a little fling going, and he wanted me to be his "girlfriend". Well, being too young to date, this mostly meant phone calls and letters back and forth between Middlebury and South Bend. I wouldn't go as far to say that I was in love with him or anything, but it was a cute puppy-love crush. After a few months, I decided that I had to "keep my options open", so Suspender Boy & I broke up. Anyway, like the next week I went to our Stake Girl's Camp and there were two other girls from South Bend there; Curly & Blondie. Curly was cute and nice to everyone. She was also slightly shy. Blondie was mean and snobby - or at least to me she was. One day during free time, after swimming in the lake, I was in the showerhouse and overheard Curly & Blondie talking. Blondie was telling Curly how she was glad that Suspender Boy & I broke up, so now SHE could have him. Oh no she didn't, I remember thinking. Suspender Boy deserves better than that! He deserves someone like,, me!

I would show her! I wrote Suspender Boy a little love note, telling him I had made a mistake and how much I missed him and wanted him back. I sent the note home to him via a reliable courier. In order to secure my position I followed up with a confirmation phone call the minute I arrived home from camp. Suspender Boy wanted me back too! I remember dancing with Suspender Boy at the next dance, looking over my shoulder, gloating at Blondie. Eventually, we both grew tired of the relationship and broke up again. I was pleased, however to find out later that he eventually started dating Curly. I was happy for both of them. A side note, Suspender Boy & Curly ended up getting married! Aww, precious!

Another time this competitiveness reared its ugly head was during Middle School. There was a boy who was a year younger actually, that I thought was totally hot. And he was on the Basketball Team. Basketball boy was tanned, good-looking and really nice. He lived in the same neighborhood as one of my friends. So, whenever I would go to her house after school, Basketball Boy & I would hang out and flirt. Again, we did the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, which meant writing little notes, calling each other on the phone, eating lunch at school together, etc. The only real problem was Basketball Boy was a little shy which meant I was the one doing all of the work. It's like, what's the point of being witty and clever when the other person has nothing to add? So, I broke it off. Until, that is, I heard through the grapevine (gotta love the grapevines) that Big Schnoz liked him. Ok- normally, I would be nice with my nicknames, but this girl had a like really big, super huge nose. Like her faced was smacked into a wall, and her nose was crooked and bent in at least 3 different places. Anyway, Big Schnoz had heard that Basketball Boy & I broke up and I heard that she wanted him. Immediately I sprang into action. I sought out Basketball Boy to retract the break-up. Worked like a charm. Later that afternoon, I was heading to P.E. while Big Schnoz was leaving PE. She glared at me, I glared at her. She swung. I grabbed her fist and went for the hair. Girls always go for the hair! We had this mean, nasty, drop down, drag out cat-fight in the middle of the hall outside the locker room, without having said even a word to each other. Clueless Art Teacher came out to break up the commotion. I was pleased to see that my long claw-like nails had made streak-like gouges in her face. It was the only time I have ever gotten into a cat-fight, and I won.

We were both hauled down to the office, and I couldn't believe that I was in a fight, and over a boy no-less. Miss Priss Guidance Counselor, who I am convinced only cared about the affair she was having with the asst principal, asked me how the fight started. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I didn't want my mother being called down to the school, because I had a fight with some chick over some dude. Too embarrassing, plus there was sure to be punishments handed out. All I could do was sit there and cry. Miss Priss tried again to get it out of me. Finally, to no avail, she said, "Well, I know [Big Schnoz] has a reputation for being mean to other girls. I can only guess that's what happened here, right?" I just sat there and sniffled, and let Miss Priss think what she wanted. As a result, I was allowed to go back to class while Big Schnoz sat in In-School Suspension. I must admit that I couldn't help but flash Big Schnoz a little half-smile (nanner, nanner, nan-ner) as I trotted out of the office, back to freedom.

So, back to College Guy... I am telling him these stories, which he is finding hard to believe. He says, "I thought you don't like confrontation." "I don't" I reply. "So," College Guy wondered, "why the fights with the girls? Especially if you didn't really like the boys?" "Because, these were nice boys, and they deserved nice girls. I guess I was trying to protect them from Witches with Capital B's."

"Nice Girl To The Rescue! Is that it? Saving men everywhere from Witches with Capital B's?," wonders College Guy.

Hey - just doing my part to serve and protect. No honors or medals please. I simply do what I can.


Mel and Byde said...

Did "nice girl" have a cape to go with her title? So nice of you to look out for those poor boys:)

Ruthykins said...

i love it. can't wait to read it to derek! i hope mom sees this one