Sunday, June 1, 2008

Before & After

Weighed in this morning. Down 29 lbs. Exciting! I am finally starting to see my jawline again. Now, if that middle section would just start to disappear...

One of my friends suggested I take a before and after picture. That'll be the day! Plus, have you ever noticed that in the "before" pictures, not only are the women in really awful grandma-style underwear or swimsuits, but the subjects' hair and make-up are just as hideous. Additionally, the people in the "before" picture look physically ill, like they are about to toss their cookies. (Which is quite apropos, seeing as if they hadn't eaten all the cookies to begin with, they wouldn't be taking a "before" picture now, would they?) I don't think they are allowed to smile in those "before" pictures either.

In the "after" picture, the subjects look hot and sexy. Hey - are those veneers? How much extra did she pay to have her stretch marks and her facial wrinkles air-brushed out? Looks like the Paul Mitchell salon-on-wheels arrived to do a celebrity hair style too. Did she just come back from Hawaii - or is that a spray-on tan? Wow - a boob-job too? Of course, the people in the "after" pictures are always smiling - they just received a BIG FAT CHECK to lose their BIG FAT CHEEKS!!!

Anyway, I won't be posting any "before" pictures. I don't enjoy looking at myself in my underwear...why would I want to subject anyone else to that? No. I think instead, I will wait until the metamorphoses is complete. Then I will just post a bunch of hot "after" photos, if you don't mind.

3 comments:

Ruthykins said...

i'm sure we all know the real reason you don't want to do a before shot is because then we would now for certain that you have polka dotted granny panties

kanaboke said...

oh I can't stop laughing!!! You have a way of writing that makes me feel like I'm right there carrying a conversation with you about this whole process! Can't wait for those after shots...and just for kicks you should take 'em in Polka Dotted Granny Panties!!

Megan said...

congrats on losing the 29 pounds! I just wish you hadn't given them to me. And those baby clothes you gave me. Oh my gosh. I just look at them every day and imagine how cute those boys are going to look in them. So cute.