Not Me Monday

There are so many things that happened last week, that I am NOT going to tell you all about it.

First of all, I did NOT start back on the proverbial wagon of no sugar, little carbs, and lots of water and fruits & veggies. I also did NOT start my walks again, and do NOT hope to be back to runs soon (not "the runs", dork). I did NOT lose 5 lbs in just that first week, although I am NOT convinced it was because I was floating upstream all week from drinking my weight in Sunny D Water.

Also, it was NOT midterms last week, and I did NOT study my butt off by reviewing the prior quizzes and assignments like crazy. Then, when I got there, it did NOT feel like ALL of the questions were stuff I never saw. Only to find out AFTER the fact, the instructor didn't repeat ANY of the questions from quizzes or homework assignments. Many of my other instructors do NOT use similar questions from the homework and quizzes to solidify what it is you're learning. However, this instructor did NOT put in her email yesterday, "You'll notice on the midterm I did not cover the same things your quizzes and homework already covered. You are in college now and there are a lot of terms in this Biology class. You will need to know and be familiar with all of the terms of each section." I was NOT like -- and ya couldn't have given us a heads up BEFORE the midterm!?!?!? And to make matters worse, she is NOT waiting to start grading them until tonight. I do NOT feel certain that I only got half right, which would be 50%, which would be an F! I did NOT feel like an emotional wreck about it and am NOT sick to my stomach just waiting for that stupid grade to post! ugh!

In other news... I did NOT have TWO S'mores night this past week. One night PrettyPrettyPrincess had her friends over and another night I had MY friends over. =D
I do NOT love sitting around the firepit. I also was NOT good since I am on the new "diet" and only ate 2 li'l marshmallows. We also did NOT then play games until midnight. It was NOT totally fun! Oh, and in the process I was NOT friendly to my new backyard neighbor. I did NOT ask him about the project he was building, because I would NOT be so nosey (even tho the neighbor gals did NOT put me up to finding out the 4-1-1 on them). But he did NOT mistake my inquiry as a FLIRT and instead of answering the question, he did NOT respond with, "um...I have a girlfriend." hahaha! I did NOT soooo badly wanna reply, "Whoa, Clydesdale! Down Boy...you're not even my type!" But instead, the gals and I did NOT bust out into laughter, nope. We certainly did NOT.

I also did NOT manage to get bit by a spider, and I certainly will NOT be blogging about that later. And to top the week off, I did NOT get only a short 1 hour nap on Sunday, instead of my usual 3 hour nap. But I guess I will NOT survive...

So. What did you NOT do?

Who Needs Utopia When You've Got This?

I am already crying just THINKING about writing this post. Lame. I know.

Have I told you that I have some of the bestest neighbors in the whole wide world? I am sure I have. But just in case you missed it, I do. I really do have great neighbors.

I have a neighbor that mows his immaculate, luscious green lawn each week. And while he's at it, he rides on over and gives mine a quickie too! (The lawn, you pervs!) Anyway, maybe he does it because he knows that I am just too busy and exhausted with work, kids, school, and other mischievous fun that I probably won't get around to it in time to keep from bringing the neighborhood down. Maybe. Or maybe it's because he is just a super nice guy and really cares about me. Yep. I'm goin with that one. My mower died a few years ago. We borrowed another neighbor's mower the last 2 summers. And if/when I went out to mow, people would say, "You should not be mowing. You have boys for that!" And they did mow. But, I am not home all of the time to make sure they do it. And now, this summer, my kids are usually at their dad's every Saturday. So, thanks to my super-great neighbor across the street, my front lawn has been looking decent this whole season so far! Oh - and I finally acquired a mower. And my boys have been doing the back yard to keep it from looking like the the deep jungle. But we have this horrendous tree. And any time the wind blows even just a little, it poos sticks and leaves EVERYWHERE! Little Duckling has seriously already filled at least 5 bags full of sticks. But we cannot keep up. It stops my grass from growing nice and no one ever plays out there, because there would be serious injury. So, when the boys are home, and I am home at the same time to monitor their chore-doing, then the sticks get cleared and the weeds get mowed. And my neighbor could be the kind to sit in his house and complain that he has to look across the street at the pile of dump that I live in, and the yard that's goin to pot. He really could. But, he doesn't. He selflessly comes over and just mows.

I Heart Marshmallows. I really do. I love roasted marshmallows. Gooey marshmallows. Marshmallow Cake Frosting, Marshmallows in Cereal. Marshmallow Rice Krisy treats. Even slightly stale marshmallows covered in sugar crystals... hmmm... Peeps. I don't even need S'Mores. I just love the roasted marshmallow part. We were lucky enough to get a small firepit for the backyard Jungle w/Crooked and Cracked Cement plan. We have our camp chairs out there and the kids and I have made S'mores and roasted marshmallows at least a dozen times in the six weeks we've had it. It's great for family fun. The bad thing is, the wind blows. And in addition to causing more branch-poo, the smoke blows right into our neighbor's window and gets sucked in by they evap cooler. So, PartyGirl and her fam get the pleasure of inhaling our campfire... probably equivalent to sucking on an exhaust. I am sure they'd rather NOT smell it. But they have never complained to me. They still smile and wave as they go in and out of their house. They've also come over to roast marshmallows with us and enjoy homemade rootbeer on occasion too! They could call me up and complain. Seriously, they could. I mean, if they wanted to live in a campground, they would've stayed at the KOA, right? But, they don't complain. They understand my quirks and my passion for marshmallows and love me just the same. They will check in on me and see how I am doing. PartyGirl and I have the best conversations ever! And we get to partner up to visit ladies from the church too! We've had many a laugh and many a cry together! The fence is not the divide that keeps us apart. In fact, just yesterday I was thinking, we really oughta just put a gate door between us. It would make coming over that much easier! hahaha!

I've called my other neighbor's husband (Desperate Housewife) for help on occasion. Desperate Housewife doesn't mind either. I mean, she knows me well enough to know my genuine intentions... Not to mention he's the best darn mechanic around - and honest to boot! She is great too! Late night talks, vents, cries, and laughter. The husband could complain I am over too much. She could complain I talk too much. But they don't! They indulge me. They help me and they are there for me. They get my mail when I'm gone, call me when suspicious activity takes place when I am not home. I have borrowed things from them (by the way, I still have your rake!), "shopped" in their food storage when I was out of something, offered prayers and blessings on my behalf, even. She shares things with me when she has "too much". She's been my back-up during our late-night stalking BigTruckGuy Excursions and there's been the late-night drive-thru rendezvous too!

LawnMower Man, Desperate Housewife and PartyGirl are my immediate neighbors that look out for me and I know that they truly care. And there are other neighbors too. Around the corner. Down the street. Around the block. All of them are great! My neighbors have helped me in a pinch. They've watched my kids, picked up or dropped off my kids. Helped me finish projects. Given me things they knew I could use that they didn't need anymore. They've invited the kids and I over for family game nights or dinner. Or we've had girl's nights to just sit and gab and stuff our faces! Then there are the "mysterious" things that happen, that I know are because of a neighbor. Groceries left on my front porch. Gifts cards left in unsigned envelopes. Gas Cards. A Gallon of milk. Clothes for the kids. I could go on and on. In the beginning, it was hard for me to accept any type of help. I knew divorce wouldn't be easy. I knew that I didn't have a lot, but I knew for my kids' sake, I had to make it. But now I know that part of "making it", physically, mentally, emotionally, includes the love and service of others. I try to give back when I can. It's never as much as I want and it probably never will be.

I guess the thing that spurred this post this morning, is because I was thinking about one day if I would ever move. This would be a hard place to leave. Not the house; it's a dump. Not the yard; it's an eyesore. But it's the people. I can literally take a walk throughout the 4 or 5 streets in the neighborhood and I know who lives in almost every house. I wave and smile, and they wave and smile in return. I care about them. They care about me. It's a rarity to live in a place like this. Maybe not here it is, maybe not to these people. But I've lived in lots of towns, cities and states. This is a rarity indeed. A Utopia of sorts.

Cyber Stupid

Ok --so, we all know there are several social networking sites. Clubs and bars aren't really my scene, but I like meeting new people... so where does that leave me? Well, the quickest way to make introductions these days is via the web. I am cautiously open-minded. Although, I will admit, that my confidence is a little bruised and things actually seem scarier to me now than, say, two years ago.

Rewind 2+ years ago. HatDude & I were each other's consultant. We applied the Principles of Prospecting (click Here), sending out 25 new messages a week to potential prospects in the hopes to gain 1 or 2 new "appointments" per week. Anyway, it was a blast and my social calendar was always full. Then it slowed down as the Big-D-ster entered my world. And now??? Well... not so much confidence anymore.

Rejection, in any form, can have that effect. Even if you know it wasn't anything you did or didn't do. Even if logically you know you have a lot to offer... rejection/break-ups can really leave you feeling...

Vulnerable. Lacking. Inadequate. Lonely. Wondering. Aching. Missing. Unsettled.

I have a great support network... my friends, my family, my coworkers, my fellow bloggers... They -- YOU -- are an awesome support system. I've had lots of encouragement recently to get back up, dust myself off, and get back in the game. So, I thought... ok! I will!

Except, it feels sort of like a chore now. I feel the proverbial dragging of feet. I think I fear rejection all over again. When something seems right and good, I become completely invested, which means I give my heart completely over... which in turn means, if I get hurt, it hurts bad. And yet I know that anything worth while is worth the risk. I know that I am the one writing my story. I am the one in control of my happiness; my destiny. Still doesn't make it less scary though. All it takes is one "Thanks, but No Thanks" to make you wanna pack it all up and hide under a rock.

Anyway -- so in an attempt to overcome my fears, I get back on the horse, so to speak, and start slowly this time. "Window Shopping" if you will. While I was on a Christian/LDS site, some dude (very hot, listed Florida as hometown) sends me an IM. Let me sum it all up for you... It went down like this.

Dude: Hey.
Me: Hey... from Florida, eh? (Already a "red flag". Florida? 1am his time. He must be after one thing)
Dude: Yup. How are you?
Me: (being cautious) Tired.
Dude: What are you doing that makes you so tired?
Me: Work. Homework. Kids. What about you?
Dude: I'm in bed...
(oh no, I think to myself. Fasten your seatbelts, here we go!)
Me: Pu-LEASE do not tell me you are one of THOSE guys.
Dude: One of what guys?
Me: The ones that have "cravings" in the middle of the night so they peruse the "who's online" list and try to start up a convo with any/all of them in hopes to get a cyber booty call.
Dude: I C
[pause]
Me:....???
Dude: Well, I *do* have a bit of a panty fettish.
Me: And, the cat's outta the bag.
Dude: Whaddya mean? It's just a fettish...
Me: You and just about every other guy...
Dude: No! I'm Different!
Me: Uh-huh...
Dude: Does that bother you?
Me: I don't know you, so I can't say whether or not any of your so-called fettishes or quirks or habits bother me. But what does irritate me is when some dude will get on this site, pretending to be an upstanding, worthy church member, saying that they live the standards, etc. and then in an instant, start to talk dirty instead of having a real conversaation.
Dude: Oh... sorry. So... what kind of panties do you wear?
Me: See... like that. Well, Mr. Florida. Good luck in your search... but this shop is not open for that sort of business.
Dude: Will do...

Then - I blocked him before seeing the rest of his response.

Talk about STU-PID!!! I mean, is THIS my only option??? Oh no... 'fraid not! there's more! I did receive NINE emails within a 15 minute time frame from some other dude that sort of had a creepy scrunched up face, complete with uni-brow and left messages like, "It's not gonna get better than this! I want to be yours and I want you to be mine! Let's go out! XOXOXOXOX!"... followed by his phone #. Ummm... can you say Cyber Stalker? Yep. There's another one to block! Check. Too bad there isn't an emoticon for "just threw up in my mouth"... My friend PartyGirl says something like this should work... :{p}

So in summary, the good-looking one is a perv and the creepy looking one is a creep. NOT helping in the confidence department one bit! I don't wanna be a magnet for THAT! Maybe I am really just not ready for this.

Oh well... what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right???

A Little Like This...

Won't be around much as Midterms are this week.

Chances are I will be feeling a little like this....

Ode to the Bus Driver

I thought that today, being Father's Day, it would be apropos to write a little sum-in', sum-in' about my padre. This would probably be best in chronological order, but it won't be... just writing it as it comes :)

FYI... when people meet my dad, they often comment on how they think he either looks like Phil Collins or Robyn Williams. (Dad is in the middle)


If you've been following along on my blog at any point in the past year, you have probably learned that my father was a little Amish boy. I was thinking about my dad lately. I remembered that in the house we grew up in, there was a shoebox in his closet containing pics of him as a little Amish boy. Now, in general the Amish don't have their pictures taken. But my father went to public school, not Amish school. Therefore, when all of the kids were photographed for the yearbook, the Amish kids often had their pictures taken too. Most of the time, the Amish allowed their kids to be photographed, but they would not purchase the packages. However, my dad had a few school pictures of himself in that box. I sent him a message on FB yesterday telling him to find those pics and scan them to me. I'll have to share a few once he does. He made such a cute little Amish boy too!

Well, about my dad... he is a kind man. He is loyal to his faith, his family, and his friends. He doesn't judge a book by it's cover, and he doesn't judge people that way either. His idea of beauty isn't usually something glamorous. He sees beauty in its most natural and simplest forms. He also has a sense of humor that really cracks me up. He is uber clever and witty. He loves to read, although doesn't always have time to do so. He'd rather be caught up in a good book than in front of the television set. He is intrigued by things such as steam engines. He is a "tinker", as he would say. One who "tinks". Others might say he is a "tinkerer" because he likes to "tinker". Either way, you get the idea. My mom would say that he is much like his own father in that the wheels are always turning in his head. He is always thinking up ways to invent or build things. He is no stranger to the jimmy-rig. He's like an unschooled engineer in that regard.

My father appreciates education. He enjoyed school and was grateful to go, unlike perhaps other boys his age. The Amish don't typically go to school past the 8th grade, so when my father was 14, his formal learning was over. Perhaps it was this fact that made him appreciate his schooling so much. But I think he just loves to learn. As an adult he did go back and get his G.E.D.

He has always been fascinated with the "outside world". He used to wish he could work on a cruise ship so he could see the world. He did end up working for a tour bus company as a driver for several years, and has pretty much seen all of the United Stated, much of Canada, and even places like Greenland and Newfoundland. With his current job he travels on a regular basis and even gets to go to places like Alaska, Hawaii, Guam, and Belgium.

He is never idle. I mean, of course he has a day here or there in which he will kick back and watch a show or read a book. But he is not lazy. This is mostly due to his upbringing. Y'know the old routine, "When I was your age I had to walk to school, uphill, in the snow, both ways"??? Yeah... well my father's was more like, "When I was your age, I had to get up every morning at 5am to do chores and as soon as I got home from school I had chores too. I had to work in the fields, milk cows....." Well, you get the idea. It was a great guilt tactic during the occasional family "meetings" in which we had the talk about pitching in and keeping our rooms clean, etc.

My father was a hard worker in everything he did and in everything he still does. Growing up, my father worked lots and lots of hours so that my mom could stay at home to raise 7 children. I remember a few times he worked odd jobs on the weekends too, like driving truck. He'd even let me and my older sister take turns riding with him on his early Saturday morning trucking gigs. I felt so special when it was my turn. He'd even make me breakfast; the same as him. An egg sandwich and a glass of Tang.

When he was a bus driver he was gone on trips all the time. He and my mom finally decided he needed to be home more. So, he became a certified bus technician and went from full time driving to full time mechanic for buses. He worked longer hours to make ends meet. The nice thing is we lived 2 doors down from the bus company, so even though he'd work 60-70 a week, we'd see quite a bit of him :)

The morning of my 16th birthday, no one remembered. No one said "Happy Birthday" to me or anything. My mom had started working grave yard shifts at the hospital a few times a week, so she hadn't come home before I had to leave for my early morning class. I pretty much went to school feeling like crap that no one remembered my big special birthday. Then, during 5th period at school, the office gave me a note that said to call my dad at work as soon as possible. I thought maybe something was wrong. I went to the payphone and called him. He said that he was getting ready to leave for Merrillville (outside of Chicago) to drive a group to see the Vienna Boys Christmas Concert at the Star Plaza Theater. The tour group event organizer said that they had some extra seats and he could bring someone. He thought I might like to go since I enjoyed choral music and since it was my birthday. Of course, I said YES! He said he already talked to the attendance office and would be checking me out 30 minutes early. Of course he picked me up in the big tour bus, so that was way cool. So my crappy day turned out really awesome. I got to leave school early, eat dinner with my dad at a nice sit-down restaurant in a Chicago suburb and attend a live Christmas show by the Vienna Boys choir. I remember being so happy on the way home I felt like crying.

I remember when my Mom taught an early morning seminary class for high school students. It was from 6am-6:45am each weekday. My older sister was a freshman that year, so she went. My dad decided that the rest of us could also get up early and read the scriptures. Most of us probably slept through them. Nevertheless, my dad got us all up early and read two columns to us each morning. The next year, I started attending the early morning class. My dad still rounded up the troops and this continued year after year.

My father is a peacemaker. He does not like confrontation, and he was never really the disciplinarian either. That was mostly my mom's job, since he was gone a lot anyway. But, I tell you what, I would have taken a spanking from my mom than a "I'm disappointed in you" talk from my father any day. Because, if my dad had to say that, then you knew what you did was really bad.

My dad is a charmer. He is friendly and talks to anyone, anywhere at anytime for any reason. Sometimes my kids will ask why I start up conversations with random people in the check out line or at the gas station. I always say, "Ohh....just being friendly." But, then I smile as I remember my dad did the same thing. Everyone who knows him likes him. He is just a nice guy. He grew up in the town I grew up in. He worked in town. He did volunteer service with the EMS department and was an EMT for years, and even the VP of the dept once. Everyone knew him. He had a good reputation of being honest and good. If I ever found myself in trouble, I only needed to mention to someone that I was Sam's daughter and they would help. What a legacy to have your name speak so much about you. He charmed my friends too. He would be funny when they came over to play.

He was a teaser. Sarcasm was and is just one of the many free services he offers. I remember when I was about 10, my father made a wise crack, and I was able to spout a clever reply right off the cuff. My dad didn't say a word. Instead I saw him crack his typical half-crooked smirk. I had caught him off guard and he was speechless. I felt so pleased with myself at that very moment. Like now we were on equal playing ground. That was our "thing". We often joked and teased each other. I was glad that was our "thing". He didn't always do that with the other kids, but for some reason he did with me.

My father loves to cook and bake and grill. And he is good at it too. He pretty much cooked every Sunday dinner at our house growing up. I always looked forward to that. Often times he would sport my mom's blue apron too.

This ended up being way longer than I anticipated, so if I have lost some of you along the way, sorry about that. But let me leave you with this last little tidbit...

My father is loyal to my mother. He wines her and dines her and he brings her her favorite flowers for special occassions and chocolates when he comes back from Belgium. Ever since I was little I remember him taking her to dances. They had date nights often. When the church didn't do as many dances, they found a contra dance group and began going to those once a month. They still have frequent date nights and he still takes my mother dancing.

When I started meeting new male friends, I could usually tell their character right off the bat. Whenever I would learn something new about someone promising, I would often think, "my dad would like this about him" or "my dad would like that about him". And if ever I thought the opposite, I wouldn't even bother talking to that guy again. That is how much my dad means to me.

I love you Dad!!! Happy Father's Day!!!

2006...
circa 1978, approx...

Saturday's Scoop

That's right. I am forgoing "Six Word Saturday" to give you the latest scoop...
To bring you all up to speed...

So, when the whole numbing, tingling business started, I went to my chiropractor, thinking maybe it was a pinched nerve. Not a pinched nerve.

I then went to my family physician, thinking it may be Shingles, because I was told that many times people get "tingling" in odd places as a precursor to shingles. Not Shingles.

The Dr. said that pitter-patters and tingling on a woman's right side is often associated with the heart. But, it could also be an infection, or maybe even something like thyroid or cholesterol. I was sent to the lab and referred to a cardiologist.

Lab work came back great. Heart tests came back great. Next up... I had a friend tell me about her experience with aspartame poisoning and two others about MS. All three said that "tingling in the extremities" was an early symptom. Dr. said it was not aspartame. She ordered an MRI.

Had the MRI done on Monday. Friday morning the Dr. called me with the results. a "bulging neck disk" placing pressure on my spinal chord. Well, quite frankly, I hate calling it that. No one wants to hear that any part of them is "bulging". It is basically the same as a herniated disk, except it is called "bulging" because it extends beyond the normal boundaries. (picture a man's bulging belly "extending" beyond his normal waistline... yeah, like that.)

Anyway, the bulging or herniated disk can cause quite a bit of pain, and of course explains the parasthesia in my arm, chest, tongue and lips too.

So, the goal is to treat it with physical therapy, and of course surgery being the last option. I am optimistic that the physical therapy will work. So there you have it... the scoop.

Speaking of scoops, check out this "modern" ice cream scooper. I mean it's cool and all... but it just doesn't seem the same.

If You're Scared, Look Towards the Light

I took a day off of work yesterday; well, my paying job that is. I still worked.

I got up and dropped my oldest at summer school. Then I went BACK.TO.BED. until 9:30. It was heaven.

Next, I ran errands, like Costco, the grocery store, etc. I also trimmed my out-of-control rose bush so it would stop assaulting me every time I walked past. Got groceries put away, cleaned my house from top to bottom and even managed to get 4 loads of laundry done AND listened to an online lecture for school.

I tried a new Taco Salad Recipe (Thanks Linda & Jen!) and got my grill on for dinner. The sister who lives close by came over with her hubby & kids. And, my aunt from Tennessee (the one that sent me treats @ Christmas) and her daughter and her grandson came to visit too! They made the road trip because my Aunt and cousin are dropping my cousin's son off to college and he is starting Summer Term. We ate. We laughed. We got the fire pit going and the kids made s'mores and "roasted" Starbursts.

Even after the out-of-towners headed back to the hotel to sleep, my sister & BIL & I hung out until MIDNIGHT and chatted and laughed and wheezed and almost peed our pants. Guess we lost track of time... oops.

The little ones wanted a sleepover. We obliged. It took them about 30 minutes or so to wind down. I kept hearing whispers and giggles. And the littlest one must have gotten scared at some points, cuz then I'd hear PrettyPrettyPrincess say, "If you get scared, just look towards the light." She was referring to the light from the bathroom, bleeding into the hallway and shining in her room. Nevertheless, it made me smile.

Here's a pic of the cousin sleepover in progress.

After-Party clean up was a breeze, thanks to paper products. I know I need to go to work tomorrow (which is now today). But it's productive and fun days like this that makes me wish I didn't have to :)