Sam's de-LIVER-y: More to the Story

Michiana. The seven-county area which encompasses Southern Michigan and Northern Indiana. Home to University of Notre Dame. Home to the 2nd largest Amish settlement. Home to my brother Sam and his wife Jenny.

Growing up the middle of seven children in a moderate-income household, Sam knows all too well how to pull his own weight and what it means to sacrifice. As my sister Sarah said, "[Sam's] the kind of guy who would do anything he could to help another and he'd do it with a smile on his face as he put a smile back on yours." So true.

This past Friday, on December 12th 2014, Sam had liver transplant surgery. As emotions ran high for the entire "Miller Clan" (as we call ourselves), it was hard for me to be across the country instead of near my brother and his family. It was even harder on my parents (who now reside in Nevada).

My family and I prayed. Then, I baked. A lot. Anything to keep my mind occupied. My siblings/siblings-in-law wanted to create a fundraising website for Sam. We researched the least expensive with the quickest turnaround time (and best reputation). We found recommendations from Forbes for CrowdRise.

Here is the story you'll find when you click on the above link to their fundraiser page:

Twelve years ago, Sam was diagnosed with Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC), a rare liver disease. It wasn't long after the amazing team at IU Medical saved his life (the first time), he met his soon-to-be-bride, Jenny. Ten years ago they married and much of their "for better or worse" has been spent riding the roller coaster of this disease, in and out of surgeries to keep him alive. Last year, after nearly 8 1/2 years of marriage, Sam & Jenny received word they were selected as the adoptive parents to little Lucy. Hands down, 2013 was the best Mother's Day ever! Sam and Jenny poured every dime they had (and then some) into bringing home their sweet little baby. They hold a special place in their hearts for Lucy's "tummy Mommy", for her generosity and sacrifice, so Sam and Jenny could have a family. Jenny left her career to stay home and care for Lucy, leaving Sam as the sole financial provider. While thrilled at the miraculous blessing of parenthood, their finances took a major hit in making this happen. Just a few days ago, December 11th 2014, Sam received word of another family's generosity and sacrifice. He would receive a Christmas miracle -- a new liver within 24 hours. As smoothly as everything has gone so far, Sam still has a long road of recovery ahead. Instead of returning home (170 miles away) they need to stay in Indianapolis for the next several weeks, so his new liver can be monitored every 2-3 days. Each day spent away from home means more time off work and more expenses incurred. After all they have struggled through, our goal is to alleviate some of the financial strain on the family while Sam recuperates. The medical bills will far exceed our goal of raising $20,000, but it is our hope that with enough "little miracles" the family will be off to a good start in this next chapter in their lives. Please help us by Supporting Sam's Special De-LIVER-y!

But there is more to Sam's story than I could fit on the site:

Other than for surgery, Sam has never missed a day of scheduled work. He is a hard worker who doesn't expect anything for free.

Sam works for AM General and layoffs are a common occurrence. When the housing bubble burst and the economy tanked a few years back, Sam found himself laid off again. Eventually, he and Jenny sold their home and downsized to save money. Now they share a home with other family members, and once again, Sam has just been laid off.

Whenever I speak to Sam or Jenny, I never hear about how it isn't fair that Sam is sick. They don't complain that they are continually having to make cuts in their budget to make ends meet. They serve faithfully in their church each week, continually looking for ways to help others.

To hear them acknowledge their blessings, it is obvious they are grateful people. They are grateful for their baby's biological parents, grateful for even the smallest good health, and grateful for the love and support they receive from family and friends.

This past weekend, they shed many tears at IU Medical, and not just for the miracle of a liver, but with heavy hearts for the generous family who is mourning a loved one, selflessly donating a liver to Sam.

Sam & Jenny have been through many ups and downs and they never give up. Their perseverance, combined with their gracious humility is what makes these two so deserving of any donation they receive.

It's been amazing how quickly people have responded to the online donation site! In the first 24 hours, we've reached nearly 20% of our fundraising goal. When Jenny and Sam found out, they were overcome with emotion. They were not expecting this at all.

If you have a desire to help my brother and his sweet family financially, you may make a donation {{here}} Also, please feel to share this link on Facebook or Pinterest or wherever else you think might attract interest. The more people who find out about it, the better chance we have of helping Sam pay for his medical expenses.

Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." I think this is quite fitting for my brother's situation and for this holiday season. If you can't give financially here, then find a way to give to someone somewhere this season. God bless!

One more time on the link in case you missed it:
{{Click HERE to be redirected to CrowdWise}}

I Was a Handful (Who Knew, Right?)

I don't know why I thought of this today, but the memory brought a smile to my face, so I figured I'd blog about it.

I am the second of seven children.  One might think when I came along things were still pretty easy for my mom.  Wrong.  I was a colicky baby, only happy if I was held or given a bottle, or better yet -- both!  Although I eventually grew out of the colic, apparently I was a bit of a handful as a toddler.

*Allegedly* I liked to have certain things a certain way (my way) and would cry if they didn't occur in that way.  The phrases, "Go to your room, Emma" and "If you're going to cry, go to bed, Emma" were phrases I heard on a daily, if not hourly basis.  In addition to the whiny-cry-baby terrible two's, I was fidgety.  I couldn't sit still, or be content for very long and from the time I started talking I was an incessant chatter-box.

However, the "difficult" child in me did not stop my mom from having more children right away, nor from having them one after the other. 3 children under age 3 and pregnant.  That is where this memory begins.

I can only imagine the chaos of getting 3 under 3 ready for church in the morning, then once there sitting quietly in our pew.  When I was older and there were 7 kids under 8, people would tell my mother, "Your children are so well-behaved in church."  I used to think, "yeah -- because she's threatened us with our lives." Haha.  But as a 2 year old, I don't really know what people thought or how we acted.  I know I must have been a handful though, because I was allowed to sit with other people.

The Bournes.  The Bournes were a young, married couple that went to our church.  They did not have any children for quite a few years, and for some reason took a liking to me.  I remember turning around in the pew, my eyes searching the congregation for them each Sunday.  As soon as I spotted them, they'd wave for me to come and sit with them.  I would nudge my mother, point in their direction and wait for her approved dismissal, which was always a nod and the whispered admonishment, "fold your arms".  Dutifully, I'd fold my arms and walk as quietly as I could to their bench and sit with them the rest of the service.

Then, there was "Chid".  Sharon Chiddister was a single woman, close to my mom's age whom didn't have children of her own.  Many Sundays she'd sit near my parents and I remember quite often sitting on her lap and her rocking me to sleep.

I don't recall how often those "helpers" in church came to my mother's rescue, but it happened enough for me to remember.  The Bournes eventually had their own children and moved away.  Chid remained in the area, and over the years has always found a family to sit near in church and help with their children.  I remember one family moved in, with 2 small active boys.  Then, the mother was expecting twins.  Chid was there to help out every Sunday.  This was a huge blessing for the wife, because the husband had Sunday duties that required him to sit up on the stand next to the Bishop.  A few years after the twins were born, the wife became pregnant again - with another set of twins.  When I went back home to visit this past summer, I noticed that even though those kids are all teenagers now, Chid still sits with them and she is still like a part of their family, and their dad IS the Bishop now so I am sure she is a great help!

As a teenager, there was a family in our church with 8 kids, whom I babysat quite often. I started babysitting when # 6 was born, and instantly fell in love with that baby.  We sat behind them every Sunday at church, and I always held him or let him sit by me until I went off to college when he was about 4.  Truth be told, I didn't even realize he was a handful, until his mother said something to me a few years later, about how she was always grateful for me helping her out on Sundays because he was such a handful.

In church now I lead the music on Sundays.  I sit up near the organ and I can look out into the congregation and see who's sleeping (haha), which babies are crying, which children are acting up and which mothers are struggling. I do notice a few childless couples or families with teenagers sitting near families with smaller children and offering their help whenever possible.  I can always tell that the mothers are grateful too.  But, I've also seen a few others in the congregation shoot disapproving looks towards some mothers - as if to say, "Get your kids under control!"  I was thinking this past Sunday when I saw one woman give such a glare, wondering if anyone ever thought that about my mom while I was being "out of control"?  Made me grateful to those "Angels among us" who offered to sit near us and help out where they noticed a need.  That is true Christianity right there, and of all places we should be living and carrying out our religious beliefs, you'd think one place would be church, right?

We don't know what always goes on behind closed doors, and although *WE* may think we know how this mother or that mother should discipline her children during church, and while we wish she could keep her kids "under control", don't you think that idea hasn't already crossed her mind too? I mean no mother in her right mind WANTS her child to act up and make a scene, right?

My kids are older now and aside of the occasional elbow-to-the-ribs or whispering or giggling with each other, they can pretty much manage themselves at church.  Because I lead the music and sit up near the organ, and because I am a single parent, they sit up there next to me each Sunday.  At first they were not thrilled with the idea, though I think they are okay with it now.  I have decided through this experience, that when the time comes that I am not sitting up there leading the music, perhaps I can find a young mom with her hands full to sit near and be a "Bourne" or a "Chid"-- pay it forward or something like that.  

Oh -- and for being such a "difficult" child, I think I turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself!  :)

Dear Village, Thanks!

Normally, I might be somewhat of a Quirky Turkey. But lately, I have felt more like a Jerky Turkey. I have lots to be grateful for. I have had good intentions of thanking many people who have offered service, said a kind word, dropped off a favorite treat, or was there to help in a pinch, expecting nothing in return.
However, I'm afraid that I have just not gotten around to it yet. Does anyone out there seem to have an extra one of these that I can have? Perhaps it will help.







Sorry - I digress. Back to the post at hand. I would like to dedicate this post to ALL of those who have been "Angels Among Us", more specifically to me!

I Am Grateful for...

• The neighbor who came to my front door last January with cash in-hand telling me that she didn't know why, but that she was prompted I needed this money and that I was not to pay her back.


• The neighbor who volunteered to help me with the church activities committee, since EVERYONE else bailed. (gee! was it something I said?)


• The neighbor that brought me candy cuz she knew it was my favorite. Or gave me her last 2 eggs cuz my kids wanted me to bake brownies. Or dropped off milk because she knew I only had $2 till payday. Or let me borrow supplies so I can make Christmas gifts. For emailing me and checking in on me regularly.


• The Neighbor that stopped me at church because she wanted me to know that I had a positive impact on her daughter, and told me she thinks I am a beautiful person. How did she know that I needed to hear that on that particular day?


• The Neighbor that brought me a little note with a treat to tell me she missed me when I wasn't at church and for making sure that my kids will be set for the upcoming Christmas holiday.


• The Neighbor (and his daughter) who have done - on multiple occasions - outside work for me without being asked, starting all the way back in January. Plowed my drive. Mowed my lawn. Blew my leaves. Trimmed hideous branches off the "Beast" tree. Cleaned out gutters. Winterized my swamp cooler. Watched/Watches over me/my house in case my very own personal episode of "Cops" happens (again).


• The Neighbor who ALWAYS comes through for me. Lets me talk her ear off when I need to share news. Gives me advice. Lets me vent. Picks up my kid from a school that's not even in our neighborhood because I forgot it's early-out week. Takes my sick kids in so I don't have to miss work. Takes my kid to the pool or the water park or amusement park or the zoo or the boutique because - "Why not?". Teaches me how to buy cereal for 20 cents a box. Watches over my house and alerts me to things that occur when I am not there. Forgives me when I am a total boob and say things I shouldn't. Invites me in to eat dinner with them when I show up at the door for something totally unrelated. Lets me "shop" in her food storage when I am out of something. Laughs AT and WITH me when I am being totally stupid. Goes shopping with me to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to make sure I will be "safe". Tells the waitress when MY order isn't correct because I still have serious non-confrontational issues. For being like the sisters I miss, for "getting me".

And so many more, I am afraid I am forgetting someone here.

Rhondalue reminded me over at her blog that "it takes a village". My "village" is filled with these kinds of neighbors, for who I am eternally grateful. They are MORE than neighbors. They are my friends.

There are times, when these random acts of kindness occur, that I feel needy or incapable of providing or doing for myself. Sometimes my pride gets in the way and it hurts or I am embarrassed or ashamed that I need this much help. But mostly I know that these neighbors, these friends help me because they are following a prompting or because they love and care about me. I also know that it is my Heavenly Father's way of teaching me that sometimes I have to be on the receiving end and that I am not alone.

When my divorce happened almost a year ago, I felt like I stepped off the curb into a very chaotic and fast-paced traffic pattern, going the wrong way down a one-way street. I still feel that way. Some days I think to myself, "What the heck am I doing?" or "What kind of mother am I?" I feel like I am grasping for something, anything that represents normalcy. (Another reason I blog.) I know that my Heavenly Father knows me or He would not have sent me these people to help take care of me.

So, much thanks to ALL of my friends, my family, and my neighbors; My Village for taking care of me and "Raising" me. I know in my heart I will NEVER be able to repay any of you for any of the kind things you do or have done for me. But I definitely do not want you to think these things have gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I know that one day, when I am in a better place, I will be the one who will be able to help out someone else; to pay it forward.

I only hope it will be enough.