So--I May Have ADHD

A few weeks ago, on a Wednesday my eyes were hurting - like really bad. Allergies probably. That and the fact that I hadn't really been sleeping all that well; worse than normal to be honest. Anyway -- knowing me, I am positive I was guilty of rubbing my eyes several times throughout the week. By Thursday afternoon I noticed that my right eye was completely red and bloodshot. By Friday morning, my right eye was puffy and drippy. Nice. An eye infection.

Well, you know how eye infections go. They can be highly contagious if they're caused by a virus, considering the amount of times we subconsciously touch our eyes. We rub our eyes, type on our keyboard, rub our eyes, exchange money from our hands, rub our eyes, hand someone paperwork. Yep... gotta be careful with eye infections and "sharing" them. And of course, the ultimate would be Pink Eye. I didn't think it was pink eye. But, just to be sure, I went to the Insta-Care first thing that morning.

I sign in and wait. I people watch. I notice that everyone in the waiting room at the moment is an adult. I also notice that practically everyone is watching the Big Screen TV mounted on the wall, even though it's Playhouse Disney. I start wondering if they are watching just because it was on, or if they are really interested in what Handy Manny was doing. I chuckle to myself.

Then my name was called and I disappeared behind the door, following the nurse. She took my blood pressure, but the little band thingy hurt and then it stopped halfway and she had to do it again. I was fairly certain that she gave me the child-sized one, cuz it was squeezing the daylights outta my arm. I wanted to scream -- OWWWW! But, I held it together. I just kept telling myself, "It'll be over in a sec. It'll be over in a sec. It'll be over in a s--- WHAT? SHE'S STARTING IT OVER? WHAT THE ---?" Yeah, I'm pretty calm like that.

She then takes me around the corner, down the hall, around another corner, through a set of doors, and I am beginning to wonder if we are going to need some sort of security clearance to get where I need to go. She has me stand at one end of the hall and she walks down to the eye chart. She says to me, "Cup your hand over your right eye, and read this [points] row."

I read, "DECFGA."

She then says, "Now your left."

I read it again, "DECFGA."

Then she says, "Now both."

At this point, I start to laugh. She had been telling me which eye to COVER. Not which eye to read with. So, when she said "Now Both," I, being the Smart Alec that I am, cover both of my eyes (yes -- I did) and say, "This Chart was made in China." I uncover them, she sorta gives a half-laugh, like she is not really sure what just happened. Above all, she didn't seem impressed.

I think I muttered something like, "Oh Sorry... moving on. DECFGA."

She takes me into the room. I start to sit in one chair and she says pointing to the other, "Sit over here so I can see you while I type." I figure she must be typing my symptoms into the computer and she wants to look at my eye so she can describe it. I mean, I really don't know why else she would have said, "...so I can see you while I type," unless she has paranoia about people staring at her behind her back, or stealing tongue depressors or something. So, I move to the other chair and say, "I suppose I oughta remove my glasses."

She looks at me like, "why?"

I explain, "So you can look into my eyes." I don't know why I said it like that. It just sort of came out. Again, she sort of let's out a half-chuckle like she is just beside herself with what to do with me.

"Well, maybe I should remove MY glasses so you can look into MY eyes," she says while pretending she is gonna take her glasses off. She laughs to herself and then proceeds to type. I shrug my shoulders, and put my glasses back on. She tells me the Dr. will be in soon as she leaves me alone with my thoughts in the little cold room.

Not all good. My thoughts were basically along the lines of -- did she think I was hitting on her? Was she hitting on me? Did she just think I was weird? or a basket case?

Soon the Dr. emerges, looks at my eye and tells me he wants to put some yellow dye in my eye and look at it under a blue light. He puts the dye in and hands me a Kleenex to wipe any drips. I wipe the drips and upon pulling the Kleenex away, notice the yellow is BRIGHT yellow. He turns the light off and tells me to rest my chin on the chin rest in front of me. I do. He begins his exam and is talking about something, maybe what he is looking for or looking at. But all I can think about is the yellow dye.

Will it stain my eye yellow? Like the white parts? Will the white of my eye be stained YELLOW?

"...no damage to the corneas..."

And if the dye does stain, how long before it wears off?

"...corneal ulcers..."

Am I going to look like the stray cat found in the alley with one pink eye and one yellow one? You know the kind that lives off of the Chinese food found in the dumpster? Am I going to look like a freak? Am I ---

"I'll give you a prescription for some antibiotic drops. Don't wear your contacts for a week and call me if it gets worse or if your vision becomes blurred."

I nod my head and take the script from him. I felt almost dazed as I walked out. It all happened so fast. That's the thing about Dr. visits... you wait and wait and wait and when they finally join you in the little room it takes all of five minutes.

I take the prescription to the pharmacy. I see my cute little neighbor lady from around the corner. "Do you still have that nasty cough?" she asks.

I nod and say, "But I'm actually here for my eye."

Cute little neighbor lady extends her arms and says, "Poor thing -- I think you need a hug. I can tell you have just been overwhelmed lately."

I sort of chuckle. "Why is that?" I ask.

"Well, you've been sick and now this... It's no wonder your Christmas Tree is still up."

It's true. It was merely 3 days until Valentine's when this conversation took place and my tree was still up. "Oh yeah..." I sort of replied. Guess I had forgotten about it, sort of.

My prescription is filled and I head back to the office. Then the questioning began... "Well? What did the Dr. say?"

Ohhhh.... crap. I didn't really have an answer. "Um..." I stammered. "Something about ulcers and prescription drops," I say, holding up the bag to prove I actually had them.

They give me a puzzled look to which I reply, "Ok, I admit. I sort of forgot too listen. I was too distracted by the yellow drops staining my eye."

Yep. They laughed at me. Two of the ladies are older than me, about my Grandma's age. They just thought that was the funniest thing ever. So, of course I had to tell them the whole story, and they told me to google what I did remember of the conversation.

It turns out that I had corneal ulcers caused by a bacterial infection, most likely from rubbing my eyes. Apparently, according to all of the websites I read, it is quite common for contact wearers. I did remember the Dr. saying that there was no damage to the corneas, so I was glad to find out we caught it in time. The one lady suggested that from now on I ask the Dr. to write down the diagnosis, y'know... in case I forget to listen again.

They were still laughing about it a few minutes later, and I admit I laughed with them too. I said, "I think it's because I am back on my migraine meds. It makes me feel like I have ADHD."

To which the one asked, "Well, is your Christmas Tree still up?"

Ohhhhhh..... shut up. Haha.

Ode to the Annual

Thin gowns. Paper sheets.

Stirrups for my cold, bare feet.

Long deep breaths to get me through.

Scraping, pressing, turning blue.

Poking. Prodding. Felt for lumps.

Going in cup. Asked about dumps.

Nothing personal; it’s part of the ride

Of getting checked from all inside.

A few more years, then getting squished

Will be added to the dreaded list.

Wish me luck, feel my pain,

At least condolences you could feign.

Once a year, it’s my fate.

3pm today; it’s a date.

The No-Uterus Club

Hahaha! Ok, Rhondalue suggested we start this "club" to which I laughed and then thought, what the heck?!?!?! Seriously, though, it did get me thinking that I could/should post about my experience qualifying me for "No-Uterus Club" Membership; especially if it helps someone else with similar stuff.

~PAUSE~
If you are my Father, you can totally opt out of reading this post. I mean I'M not embarrassed... I'm just saying. If you continue, you do so at your own risk. hehehe.
~RESUME~

I knew there was "something" wrong was shortly after my first child was born. My complaints were usually brushed aside or discounted, and at times I was even blamed as to having made it up to get out of certain activities. Hmmph. Fast forward about six years. During the last trimester of my 3rd pregnancy, the pains seemed to intensify. My OB/GYN advised me that it was probably a "tipped uterus" that is common with pregnancy and will almost always resolve itself after the baby was born.

Needless to say, the baby was born and I was still having horrendous pains. I resumed the Depo Provera birth control shots and then started hemorrhaging, for like 60-90 days at a time. They prescribed Premarin to help slow the bleeding. It never helped. A year later I was in for my annual. They took me off the shots and gave me the "new & improved" birth control patch. Another year goes by. Then the pains got worse.

My OB/GYN referred me to an Internist. She couldn't find anything wrong. She sent me to my family practitioner. She couldn't find anything wrong. She sent me to a gastro-enterologist (sp?). He ordered a CT Scan. Came back just fine. He sent me back to my OB/GYN. All of that was during the course of a year.

So, now I am three years into this; still being "blamed" for using it as an excuse to get out of certain intimate "chores" (yes... chore). It was suggested by *that* person that it was all IN.MY.HEAD.

I started to wonder... Perhaps it was in my head. Well, lemme just say that just THINKING you might be a little crazy is enough to mess with someone's Psyche. I ended up on Prozac for clinical depression.

Finally, they did exploratory surgery and found out I had Endometriosis. They burned off what they could see and told me that if I was still having problems in six months to come back. The pains came back in less than two months. I sought a new Dr. He said, "It's really hard to tell whether the Endo is back or if it's the other..."

I asked, "Other? What do you mean Other?"

Turns out not only did I have the Endo. But I also had Congestive Pelvic Disorder (varicose veins in the uterus) and ovarian cysts. My first Dr. NEVER told me that. I was placed on Lupron for 6 months. Two months later the pains were back with a vengeance. I tried to get in to see him, but he was booked. I went to one of his partners. Turns out we already knew each other. Our kids went to school together and were in the same class. We used to be neighbors and friends. I liked her. I named her as my NEW Dr. Then she revealed unto me the following truths:

• Nearly 75% of all women who suffer from pelvic pain are eventually diagnosed with Endometriosis. (If it's so common, why does it take so long to figure out? Because they can only TRULY see it during exploratory surgery.)


• Depo Provera has many side effects. Aside of the big one being weight gain of 5-10 lbs per year, Depo is also known to trigger anxiety or depression.


• Depo can trigger Endometriosis in women who are already prone to the disease.


• Depo Provera can cause break through bleeding in some women.


• Premarin can also cause anxiety and depression


• Premarin can also cause weight gain.


• Premarin can also cause break-through bleeding.


• Premarin is also now known to cause increased risks of endometrial carcinoma, ovarian cancer, and breast cancer.

I wondered how many of the side effects (and those are just a few) were actually CAUSED by the initial use of Depo and Premarin, and how many I would have had regardless. My new Dr ordered more ultrasounds, another CT Scan and a Barium Enema (Butt-loads of fun! tee-hee).

Finally, they scheduled me for surgery... THE surgery. The surgery to remove my girly-plumbing. After surgery, they found I had ANOTHER disease...Adenomyosis.

I am grateful that they finally figured it all out. I am glad to have the confirmation that I did the right thing. And I am glad that I was able to bear children in spite of the diseases. Sometimes I get sad thinking that if I ever get remarried, I won't be able to give my future husband a baby of his own. And again, I know that I already have children to love and adore. But I don't think it matters if you have zero children or ten; when the choice to bear children is no longer yours, it just feels sad.

So how about it? Anyone else out there with credentials that allow you to be a part of the No-Uterus or Broken-Uterus Club?

Parasomnia, Insomnia & Migraines

Well - I went to my neurology appointment a few weeks ago. It only took me 2 1/2 mos to get it. Good thing it wasn't urgent. Anyway - here are the updates. Feel free to skip today's post as some of you might find this boring...

#1) I suffer from Parasomnia. Parasomnia, from what the Dr. explained, is when one talks, walks, or engages in other behavior while sleeping. The talking can be clear and enunciated, or it can be slurred or even sound like moaning and grunts. This behavior usually occurs when one is extremely exhausted or under a lot of stress. It can also be a side effect of other medications. I have never walked in my sleep, but I have been told that I occasionally talk in my sleep, sometimes even giggle out loud, and once last week, I woke my daughter up because I was yelling at someone. Anyway - makes sense. I do feel stressed a lot and I am always exhausted as I do not sleep very well.

When I explained my sleeping problems to the neurologist, she asked,

"How long have you been dealing with the insomnia?"

Me: Well, I wouldn't call it insomnia.
Dr: What would you call it?
Me: Well, I just have problems falling asleep, and then when I do, I can't manage to stay asleep.
Dr: On average, how many nights per week would you say you have trouble falling asleep?
Me: Five or six nights per week.
Dr: And what time would you say you tend to finally fall asleep
Me: Anytime between 2 am and 4 am.
Dr. And how often do you wake up during the night?
Me: Usually about once per hour.
Dr: What time do you usually go to bed, to attempt to go to sleep.
Me: I am usually in bed by midnight.
Dr: And you toss and turn and can't go to sleep until sometime between 2 and 4?
Me: Yes.
Dr: And what time do you get up in the morning?
Me: Between 6 and 7.
Dr: So on average you *might* get 2, maybe 4 hours of sleep, and then it is not restful sleep at that.
Me: Correct.
Dr: Yep. You have insomnia.
Me: Oh. I guess I thought insomnia is when you never sleep.
Dr: Hon - you're NOT sleeping. You have insomnia.

#2) I have Insomnia (they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?)

Anyway I did a sleep test for sleep apnea... it's not back yet. Don't know what those results will be.

#3) I suffer from Migraines. The neurologist ran some tests and as it turns out what I thought were daily headaches are actually migraines. I did not think I had migraines other than occasionally. However, the Dr. said that people have migraines more than they even realize they do.

We tend to think of migraines as a splitting headache, making us nauseous and sensitive to light, etc. While those are definitely signs of a migraine, there is such a thing as a mild migraine which is not debilitating. Who knew?

Anyway, she told me that the migraine tends to be one-sided, and will manifest itself by pain in the temple or behind an eye, where as a regular headache could be across the entire forehead or a tension headache in the base of the neck and/or shoulders. A Migraine can also cause that dizzy "elevator" feeling, which is different than vertigo (room-spinning) feeling. This explained why I was having frequent "dizzy spells".

Her best diagnosis as the culprit for the migraines was a lack of sleep... ya think? So, for now, we are doing the following treatments and then I go back next month. If this doesn't work, we do more work-ups and more tests.

I take topomax each night before bed. This will prevent migraines the next day. The problem is that there are side-effects. The biggest two that seem to affect me are numbness and lack of focus. I get numbness and tingling in the tips of my fingers and occasionally in my lips and/or face. And During the day, I don't have the headaches, but I feel like I can't concentrate. She did warn me that it sort of induces like an ADHD effect. I have seen this to be true. I have a hard time focusing at work, and often can't remember what I was doing from one minute to the next, getting easily distracted, etc.

I take an Ambien before bed. The ambien helps me fall asleep. The problem is it doesn't KEEP me asleep. So, on the days I feel especially anxious, I take my Xanax, instead of the Ambien. But I can't take that every day as it is addicting.

So - there you have it... My recent medical adventure. Sorry, no horror stories on prodding or poking this time. Oh, and for those who are wondering, I have tried the "herbal remedies" such as the melatonin and chamomile, etc. They just don't work for me. Other people swear by herbs. For some reason, they have never really done anything except make me have to pee more frequently.

The exercising has helped in the sense that I get tired sooner and therefore try to get to bed before 11pm.

So, just don't be surprised if you come for a visit and you hear me laughing, screaming or crying in my sleep. My kids think it is funny, because when I am in my parasomnia stage, they can actually carry on a conversation and ask questions, to which I will answer. Ha ha... very funny!

oh...and I am in the clear for any type of tumors that they were looking for... whew! ;)

A Man I Love!

He's tall. He's handsome. He's gentle. He's kind. He's smart. He knows what he's doing. He's a simple man. I've been seeing him on and off for about 5 years now. He's about 65 years old. He's my chiropractor!

Dr. Neumann is the best ever. I've been to several chiropractors in my life and he's good. I went to one once who tried to sell me every herb on the planet. He tried to convince me that I would not be able to live without a hundred dollar pillow. No Thanks.

I went to another one. He was okay. But he had BIG hands and I felt like he was working me over like he would a herd of cattle. A little too rough.

When I first walked in to Dr. Neumann's office, it felt like I had stepped back in time. I noticed his diploma on the wall and he had graduated in 1972. I couldn't help but think it was around that same time he had opened this practice. I think this was the exact same decor that was here when he opened his doors.

Here is waiting room #1.

and check out the view from inside the room...

It's a poster/mural...again probably from 1972ish.

At first I was a little worried that all of this meant his techniques would out of date. But, they are not. In fact, Dr. Neumann keeps up with all of the latest trends and equipment. Below is just one of the new things. It's some neck physical therapy thing I do each time I go. Can't remember the name of it just now. I'm sure it'll come to mind in the middle of the night!
Anyway, the best thing about Dr. Neumann is that he is honest and fair and ethical. His prices are great. And the decor? Well, I can get past that. Afterall, I know my money is going to improved health, not interior design.

Sick & Tired

Some days I feel sick. Some days I feel tired. Mostly, I am just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I can't remember the last time I went an entire day without having a headache. It seems like a daily thing. For a while I thought perhaps it was due to my back/neck (supporting the weight of the "girls") that was causing the headaches. However, I see my chiropractor religiously. I do have trouble sleeping, and thought perhaps lack of sleep was causing the headaches.

Then the bouts of dizziness started to occur. By the way, try explaining to a Doctor what "dizziness" feels like without using the word "dizzy". For me, it's like the start or end of an elevator ride. Just a brief wash of dizziness across my forehead and behind my eyes, if that makes any sense.

Rewind about a month ago, I am at Big-D's house watching the game. By the 3rd quarter my head was pounding, and I was feeling dizzy and our beloved Blue was getting crushed by the Red anyway. Big-D suggests I take a nap. I didn't argue. I am not sure how much time passed, but soon I can tell someone is standing over me; creepy. I practically jump out of my skin. It was Big-D checking my pulse in my wrist. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that while I was sleeping he could hear my body working hard to breathe. So he checked my resting heart rate and declared it too fast. He really wanted to take me to the ER. I didn't think that was necessary. I instead decide to call my parents and get a professional opinion (from another state, mind you). My dad was an EMT for years and my mom is a Nurse (hence the nickname, NurseMom). I ask my mom "when is your resting heart rate too fast?" She asked what mine was, I told her. She did her "hmmm" that didn't comfort me at all. She asked me what other symptoms, if any I was having. I told her heart palpitations, chest pains, dizziness, shoulder pain, and a migraine. She gave me her advice. I hung up the phone.

"Well," asked Big-D, "What did she say?" "She told me to have someone drive me to the ER," I replied. That settled it. I was going in.

Thankfully, they quickly ruled out Heart Attack and Stroke. The Dr. said the first thing to do when treating for pain is to get the patient to sleep. So, he gave me a shot of Toradol for the migraine and a prescription for Xanax to help me sleep. He also gave me a referral for the Hearing and Balance center, which I called the next day.

They wanted to do a series of tests for something called Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV). Since I had an inner ear infection last year, it would make sense that this could be the culprit of my pain & dizziness. In [very] Lay Man's terms, BPPV is when certain debris, sometimes called ear crystals or rocks, fail to migrate in the ear canal because of damage to what's called the utricle (possibly caused by injury or infection). I was able to get in that same week. They did all sorts of tests purposely making me dizzy so they could determine if BPPV was the source. At the end, that Dr. informed me that she was able to rule out everything except Central Nervous System. So, no BPPV, but I was to contact a neurologist.

I called my primary care to get a referral. After about 4 days of talking to nurses, who would in turn talk to my doctor, who would then get info from the doctor and call me back to ask questions, get my answers, tell the doctor, call me back, and round-and-round-she-goes, where-she-stops-nobody-knows type of phone tag (talk about dizzy!), The Dr. wanted to have me checked out for 2 possibilities. 1) Neurological Syndrome (a fancy word for "migraines" and 2) Acoustic Neuroma, which is basically a benign tumor that leads from the brain to the inner ear (again affecting the balance nerve). Tests she wants the neurologist to consider are an MRI, CT scan, and perhaps PET scan. Apparently these tests can determine or rule out the aforementioned conditions.

But, first, like everything else...blood work! ugh. So they did a Chemistry Blood Panel and Urineanalysis and checked hormone levels as well, since hormones is the #1 cause of migraines in women. After being in the lab for most of the day, I felt sick and had a migraine for a good two days. Finally, around 3pm the next day I felt better. That is when I had to put everything into high-gear and motivate (bribe/threaten) my kids to help clean the house since my parents would be getting in that night.

I wasn't able to get everything on my list crossed off, however, thanks to my slave-children and Anna's idea to shove things in closets (hee hee) I felt at least it was good enough for my family to come for a visit. Luckily, for the weekend, I was able to put my thoughts regarding my health on the back burner and enjoy my family. Though I did end each day with a full-on head-ache.

So, we still don't know the cause/source of my pain or the dizziness. But I guess as long as it isn't life-threatening, I just have to play the waiting game and work on the Dr's time table.

My wish for this holiday season and the new year to come? Good health for me and my family definitely tops the list. I'll be sure to keep you all posted!