Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Favorite First Dates (And a Dating Tip for Women)

Sometimes the dating scene could use a little freshening up, or at least that's the way it feels.

I know some say it's sexist for the girl to expect the guy to plan the date but studies show ( that men like to hunt, not be hunted.  "Many women prevent men from making sacrifices by doing too much of the work.  When you give him your number before he asks for it, call him, drop plans to be with him, hang out instead of expecting him to take you on dates,... you deny him the privilege of sacrificing for you.  The more deeply a man sacrifices the more deeply he loves.  Thus, the more you do for him, the less he does for you and the less he feels for you."  

I have to say that as harsh as this sounds I tend to agree with it.  I can think of many times wherein I called him first and more often than he called me, or if he asked me what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go for a date, I ended up planning the whole thing.  In those cases -- when *I* was doing all/most of the work, he ended up losing interest too quickly and I ended up alone and perhaps even a bit sad.  I firmly believe that if a guy wants to be with you, he will be.  And if he likes you he will move mountains to be with you.  And if he's not making sacrifices to be with you or show you he cares, he may care about and like you a little; just not enough to let it turn into something more.  In other words, "He's just not THAT into you."  This is hard for women (including me) and if there is anything I've learned from dating at this age is that often times it starts with the first date.

My favorite first dates have been ones that the guy has planned.  Even if he asked me ahead of time if I have a preference, I've usually responded by telling him I'd rather do something that allows us a chance to talk and get to know one another and then jokingly add, "I'll let you be the man; you decide."  So, even though it's in a somewhat joking tone, I was and still am serious.  I find that when the ball is back in their court, they've usually come up with something fun.

Here are some of my favorite first dates:

  • Him making dinner for me or cooking together.
  • 4-wheeling in the mountains and reaching the top just as the sun was setting.
  • Walking through a local plaza that is lit up for Christmas and going for hot cocoa afterwards.
  • Hitting a bucket of balls.  (Which I was horrible at because it was my first time.  But TONS of laughter!)
  • Going on a motorcycle ride in the "back country".
  • Horse-back riding on a trail.
  • Flying kites in the park.
  • Sledding.  (This was fun, because we were the only non-kid unit on the hill.)
  • Going to the zoo. (You feel like a kid again, but sooo fun!)
  • Playing the piano together (if he plays).
  • Visit an art gallery/art museum.
  • Attend local sporting event.
  • Play at the Local Fun center (ski ball, arcades, go karts, etc.)

What are/were some of YOUR favorite first dates?


Cassie said...

Those are super good ideas for a first date!!!! Also, good tip :) Will definitely pass it on to my bros, one of whom has just become of dating age.

Puphigirl said...

We went bowling, then parked at a local school near train tracks and watched trains go by while talking and getting to know one another.

Average Joe said...

1. Going to a comedy club
2. Going to a women's self defense seminar
3. Going to a play that you can discuss afterward.
4. Sigh....Disneyland....

EmmaP said...

Disneyland would be an expensive first date, but fun nonetheless. After all, it is the happiest place on earth.