Monday, October 17, 2011

Guys I Seem to Attract

1) Guys who only care about big boobs
2) Latinos
3) Old
4) Blacks
5) Disabled
6) Asians
7) Weird, Creepy, etc
8) Unemployed
9) Guys who only care about big boobs

There, I said it. And it's true.

It's not that I am against Latinos, Asians or Blacks. I mean, I had an interracial marriage for over 14 years (not that THAT worked out, hehe). Just saying that honestly, I tend to be more attracted to Caucasians. I don't think that's wrong, do you? I mean, you are attracted to whom you're attracted to, right?

Old men? Bleh. That'd be like dating my father's friends -- or worse, my father's father's friends! (I just threw up in my mouth!) Aside from Sting, I am not attracted to older men. (shudders)

Trust me - the issue isn't about looking past the surface when it comes to severe disabilities. I know some very beautiful souls with disabilities. It's just that I have a lot on my plate right now, and dealing with a severe disability can take a lot out of a person. Maybe I am being selfish, but it is just something I don't feel I can handle at this time, especially while I am working and going to school and raising 3 kids. I also think it takes someone with a very special soul to be a caretaker for someone with severe disabilities. It is a gift that I do not feel I have been given at this time.

I sort of lump weird and creepy into the same category, although one doesn't have to be both to fit here. Weird and creepy is hard to describe, and yet you always know it when he's standing right in front of you asking you out. Yikes.

And the whole Big Boobs thing? I get it. Guys are "visual" and they were made that way. I don't take issue with that. I take issue with the fact that he may not realize there is more to me than the chestacle dept. -- more going on upstairs than in the Land of Boobage. I mean, c'mon... Though I am not brilliant, I do think I am smart. I consider myself to be fairly quick-witted and clever. I love a good laugh and love physical affection. The boobs should just be a perk. Y'know, like when you're shopping for a car and the salesman tells you it comes with heated seats. Not many people would pay for the heated seats, but if it comes with it, they'd be like, "Hey! Su-weet!"

All I am saying is -- I want a respectful, employed white guy, close to my age... is that so hard to ask? If not, then where are they hiding!?!?! lol.

I am about ready to hire a stand-in boyfriend to help ward the dudes in the above categories off.


KiennaP said...

okay, seriously mom?? "land of boobage..." EW! -gag me with a spoon- (but not a fork- forks are pointy)

Cassie said...

HAHAHA! Both to your post and kienna's post. At least there are men asking you out right now (albeit, old, weird and creepy)! Good luck on the dating scene!

andrew's mom said...

OMG! All the same categories of men are into me too! Plus the ones who make $10 an hour and live with their moms. SIGH! Is their any hope for us? lol

Susie said...

I would be lost as a single lady these's a jungle out there and the apes prove it!

Puphigirl said...

Let me know when you need to borrow Kyle.

Puphigirl said...

I mean, Kyle's white, he's not that much older than you, he makes more than $10/hr, he's up to 50% less creepy than your average weirdo, and he's fairly able-bodied or should I say handi-capable.

Sweet Sassy Molassy said...

If you need to hire me as your stand-in boyfriend/weirdo repellent my rates are, interestingly enough, 10 dollars an hour. You can mail the check to my mom's house.

Sweet Sassy Molassy said...

I disagree just little bit with the idea that people aren't interested in paying extra for heated seats. Lots of husbands and boyfriends are willing to pay for bigger "heated seats". But you have to get two or it just looks wrong.