I won't go into too many details, because I will actually gross myself out just talking about it. But here is how it went down. I was in a hurry the other morning and jumped from bed. Literally. I jumped OUT.OF.BED.
As soon as I did, I felt this ripping action across my lower abdomen. (Picture in your mind ripping apart clothing at the seam. Yeah, it felt awesome like that.) IMMEDIATELY I saw spots in my eyes. They clouded my vision until I could only see shooting stars against a black backdrop. A ringing invaded my ear drums, high-pitched and piercing. I felt dizzy. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to lay down.
Instead, I popped an excedrin, splashed some cold water on my face and drove my kids to school so they would not be late. By the time I got to work I was in so much pain, I couldn't even stand up straight. The shooting stars had subsided but the tears were at bay. I called my Dr's office to get a same day appointment. They are located in the same building as the insta care, so I figured if she couldn't see me, insta care would. Turns out my Dr was off.
I am pretty sure by the stares I got in the waiting room, people thought the worst. I mean, what would you think if you saw a woman at a clinic, holding her stomach and crying?
The attending physician saw me and was worried about a possible hernia. I was in so much pain, I cried just attempting to lay back on the exam table. She wanted to give me a shot for the pain and she wanted me to go to the ER, but she told me I couldn't drive myself. Then she did it - she made me cry again.
She just had to go and ask, "Is there someone you can call?" I sat there in silence for a few moments - running down a mental list of names.
"No," I replied.
"A family member? Significant other? Friend?"
"Umm," I was really trying to focus, but no one was coming to mind. All I could think was I didn't have an "In Case of Emergency, Please Call" person. I scrolled through the names on my phone. Family members live too far away. No significant other. Of the friends and/or neighbors whose phone numbers I DID have in my phone, they either work during the day or have a new baby at home.
I ended up calling a colleague that worked down the street from the clinic and whom I knew had a little flexibility in her schedule. True, we've become good friends over the years. Still, it felt a little odd to call on a work friend for a personal matter.
I got picked up from the clinic and dropped off at the hospital and my car was taken care of. Turns out I picked a bad day to go to the ER. They were extremely busy and short-handed. I sat in the waiting room for about an hour before given a bed. There was no room at the inn, so I was placed in a "holding pattern" in the hallway until a room would become available. I think I was in the hallway another 2 hours.
A nurse from upstairs came down to help. She was to start an I.V. bag of saline. However, my veins apparently weren't "cooperating" (although they normally perform on demand). I knew the meds were making me loopy, because in my mind I was shouting several expletives at her; words I would never normally say. Or did I say them out loud? Now I really don't know. At any rate, I've got a complete set of bruises on my right arm.
At some point I was taken into ultrasound, had blood drawn and then finally moved into an exam room. They left the door open but kept the lights off for me so I could rest. Beyond that I don't know what was done with my chart, because apparently, the ER nurses didn't know I was in there. She started to wheel in another patient in a bed and jumped when she saw me. I think she may have even peed a little. Then she realized that the last 2 scheduled BP checks hadn't been done because she was told I went home.
At this point I can hear everything going on around me, in the hall and in the nearby exam rooms. But I couldn't keep my eyes open and trying to speak was too much work. The kid across the hall was crying nonstop. He wanted a bandaid. He wanted a green bandaid. He wanted a green bandaid with dinosaurs. He wanted a green bandaid with dinosaurs to show his daddy. He wanted his daddy. He wanted to go home to see his daddy. He wanted to go home and see his daddy to show him the green bandaid with dinosaurs.
I wanted him to shut up.
At one point, in my head, I yelled, "Someone get the kid a freakin green bandaid with a dinosaur before I strangle him!" Well, that's the G-rated version of what I was thinking. Then I started giggling because I couldn't tell if I actually said that or just thought that. I determined I only thought it because I tried to move my lips, which were stuck together from the dryness.
Finally, the ER doctor advised me there was no hernia, and that it "appeared" to be some torn fibers in the abdominal muscles.
"What should I do?" I asked. "How long does it take to heal?"
I was told that the abdominal muscle tears are the hardest to heal. You can't put your abs in a sling. And you can't just STOP using them, allowing them complete rest.
So, for now I am taking it "easy". It doesn't hurt THAT bad -- unless I go from sitting to standing or laying down, coughing, sneezing, reaching, laughing, driving, bending over, or pretty much just moving. But hey -- other than that I am fine.
I still am not fond of the concept that I don't have that one special "In Case of Emergency" person; the one I can always count on. Oh well, At least I have a lot of people I can call on some of the time, right?
By the way, how lame is it that I hurt myself just from getting out of bed. "You know you're outta shape when..."