Thursday, November 4, 2010

Cougars, Pumas, and Mules! Oh My!

So a few months ago, I had a conversation with a dude who was what you might call "old-school". He was bashing on men who wear sandals with jeans and saying that he, himself was a "real" man because he wore wranglers and cowboy boots. Ahem. Well, that settled it. I knew right then we would never be a good match. Besides, I don't have the 1980's, multi-tiered, full & fluffy bangs to go with his wranglers and cowboy boots. Not to say that a dude can't look good in that sort of get-up. But if this good ol' boy thinks that "real" men only dress like that, why... he is sorely mistaken.

Seriously... there is something Über-HOT about a man wearing a great pair of jeans (slightly loose) and a pair of slides. Mmm-Hmm.

We've talked jeans before... and it definitely has to be the right pair of jeans paired with just the right sandal. I mean, not just anything will do! Certainly not this...!

NOT.ENOUGH.BLEACH. to cure my eyes of that one!

No, I am talking jeans more like these...

And slides or mules like these...

Put those two together and get something more like this...

I mean, even Mark Zuckerman, FB Creator sports a pair of Adidas slides (also known as his "screw-you flip flops") and in some quirky and lovable way, he pulls them off, although not entirely appropriate for the occasion. (see below)

Anyway, the only reason I bring this up is because not more than two days later I started one of my classes for the semester and this kid comes into class in THOSE kind of jeans and THOSE kind of leather slides and I was all....... nice!

Soon the weather got a little colder. But guess what!?!?! The dude in school came through for me. He'd still show up to class in THOSE jeans and THOSE slides! Maybe it was the universe's karmic way of thanking me for being so super-cool and awesome. I mean, who's to say, right?

The other night, I was sort of feeling all........"antsy". It's been a while, y'know what I'm saying? And I was just sorta thinking it might be high time for a li'l sumin'-sumin'. Not like I'd unwrap the entire chocolate bar and have all the "chocolate" I wanted. More like a tasty morsel, fully wrapped, if you catch my drift.

Side Note: If you're my 10-year-old daughter and you do not "catch my drift", that is perfectly intended and I can avoid a heart attack for today. You can ask me about it later... like in ten years! hahaha!

So, the other night in class we had an exam. The instructor started off by reviewing a few things. Sure... I looked like I was listening. But really, my mind kept wandering over to Morsel Man's jeans and screw-you slippers. Seriously. It really made me think that being a cougar wouldn't be so bad. (Which later I found out from Mattie that at my age, I'd only be a Puma. Thanks,Mattie!)

Anyway, I was thinking how my b-day is coming up and all, and while I am too old for a sleepover and game of spin the bottle, I wouldn't be too old for a 60 second elevator ride after class with tasty-morsel-man, right? Just sayin'...

The more I thought about it, the more I was thinking I just might have enough courage to propose such an event. Could you even imagine!?!?! Then I thought, "nah... he'd probably freak at the idea of lending his lips to some Cougar Puma from class." And then I remembered that I have a 16 year old son, and that Morsel Man was probably only five or six years older than that and... eww.


Nevertheless, it would make for a great story... and one freakin' awesome birthday gift! Hahaha!


Ruthykins said...

well, whichever way it goes, i hope you do have a nice birthday

Vickie said...

Only one word comes to mind with the first picture...EWE!!

Then the rest of it was like...yeah, hmmm mm.

Except for the facebook dude. I just don't get that "oh yeah" feeling;)

Susie said...

It's harder to be a cougar when you have kids around the same age:-(

Paige said...

My husband wears those shoes--his are made out of hemp. But he never wears them with jeans. He wears cowboy boots. We shall discuss this

Megan said...

Yeah. I'm gonna have to agree with the 'not enough bleach for my eyes' after seeing that first picture. *shiver and shrivel - Ewww!!*

Definitely a nice fitting pair of jeans with some nice(r) shoes is the way to go!

Enjoy whatever happens on your birthday. ;0)

Puphigirl said...

Hey, I think my friend Mitch has a nice, shy guy he could set you up with. Maybe you could make a man out of him.

The Days of JoDee's life said...

LOL Emma. I'm crying from the laughter. I know EXACTLY what you are saying with the "60 second elevator ride" scenario. I must admit that a few years ago, I proposed such an event to someone (well, not so much in an elevator as in my basement...cleverly disguised as a "let's casually watch a Jazz game"). It worked, and I was all better. For a while. haha! I love your blog. You are so talented. Makes me want to be better and actually WRITE in mine!