Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Valentine Love-Me-Nots!

I realize that most of the readers here at Not So Usual are of Female Persuasion. However, I wanted to pass on a few little tips of What Not To Give For Valentine's Day for any male readers out there too!

1) Stuffed Animals. Nothing says, "I totally spaced this romantic day, and the stores were wiped out of everything but this" more than a stuffed animal. And, as one article put it, "Unless your girlfriend actually collects stuffed animals, or is 12, do not buy her a stuffed animal for Valentine's Day. (If your girlfriend is actually 12 and you're not, you have other issues).

2) Lingerie. First of all this s a BIG no-no if you have never been intimate with each other. Second of all, even if you have been intimate, you'd better make sure you really know her styles before going out on a limb with something like this. I mean, what a man might find "sexy" a woman may just view as trashy. On the other hand, if you go too conservative she might get her feelings hurt, thinking that YOU think of her as OLD (gramma). Now, ladies, if YOU bought some lingerie (for you), and then wrapped it up for your man... well, then he'd probably like that! lol!

3) The Gas Station Rose. Um... no. I know, I know... you're thinking, "Hey! A Rose! And it's only $1.99!" Trust me. We'll know. We'll know that you totally spaced the whole Valentine's Day thingy until you were on your way home from work and just HAPPENED to stop by for a fill-up and just HAPPENED to see the el cheapo rose in the plastic tube-sleeve thingy. Trust me... we have spidey senses when it comes to stuff like that! Of course, the ultimate abomination would be to pick up the Gas-Station-Rose-and-White-Teddy-Bear-Holding-Red-Heart Combo. Put the bear and the rose down, and walk away!

4) The cliche heart pendant. Again. You see it is a heart. Your male brain is thinking, "Valentine's Day, good. Jewelry, good. Heart Necklace, Great!" However, what we're thinking is, "Could you be a little more original?" Seriously... like the next day in the office all of the other gals won't also be wearing the "blue-light special" heart pendant too! Oh, and for the record? The heart keychain is totally worse. For reals...

5) Any Jewerly in a Ring-Sized box! (This is if you are just dating!) Nothing gets a gal's hope up more then when you're sitting down at a fancy restaurant and you reach inside your jacket pocket, producing a small heart-shaped or ring-sized box. What do you mean you don't get it? **sigh** Dude, she thinks you are going to propose! I don't know where she got that idea either... maybe it was the HEART-SHAPED BOX!!!

6) Clothes are "iffy"... Most women would rather try on their own clothes. So, unless your track record is tested, tried and true... don't tread there! If you get something too small, she'll feel bad and feel she is "fat". If you go with the larger size "just to be sure" and it is a tad too big, she'll think that YOU think she is fat. And - if you happen to get Just.The.Right.Size and she hasn't TOLD you her size, she'll think you've went snooping through her clothes and checking her tags and that's just creepy!

7) Household appliances. Yeah, um... nothing says I love you more than "Can you iron my shirt?" or "how about another George Foreman Burger?" Now -- if she ASKS for an appliance, that is different. Otherwise, be safe. Stay away from the appliances.

8) Anything DIET related. This would include (but not limited to) a new bathroom scale, sugar-free chocolate (unless she is diabetic) or a gym membership or treadmill (unless she specifically asked). You'll have to just take my word for it. I know, I know.... SHE is the one with the New Year resolution to exercise more, get off the sugar, etc. So you think the gift says, "Baby, I'm listening. I know what you want, and I want to support you!" But - what she "hears" is, "Hey Fatso!!! Lose some weight already, nom, nom, nom!"

9) Self-Help Books. The reasons are similar to #8. If you can't read between the lines, then just trust me on this one.

10) A Tool! Men, don't get her something YOU want for yourself, such as a tool or the newest electronic device. She will see right through your half-baked attempt at a gift, and you will be in the doghouse. And don't play all dumb too ("The last time you used my power sander you thought it was cool, so I thought a cordless drill might be right up your ally!")

Remember, the gift (if you both agree to gift-giving) should be about the other person, and not so much the item. Meaning, the item should "represent" her.

Is she easily stressed? Would a massage be beneficial? What about a couple's massage? She just might think you are totally awesome for going with her! If she has a hobby, like scrapbooking or reading or crafting, how about a gift card to her favorite "hobby" store? What about a little gift card and homemade "coupon" towards a girls night out and YOU watch the kids? Honestly, I don't think it has to be HUGE... just show that you were thinking of HER.

That being said... here are a few other "gifts" you'll want to avoid!

She'll never cook for you again if you get her this! And if you ever want a shot of intimacy, let's just rule this one out...shall we?

And I understand that you might enjoy spending time together, but there are some places a woman just wants her privacy...
Tomorrow, I will have a few more ideas for simple yet sweet Valentine's Day gifts and activities.
What was your WORST Valentine's date or gift?


Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

You are right on the money! I just hope lots and lots of men read this and do better this Valentines day.
But for the record....I still want my floors mopped. =D

greenolive said...

The worst one I got was a plant. I kill all plants so when I saw that's all I was getting I was very disappointed. How many times do I have to say chocolate????

Alice in Wonderland said...

I just loved this post...and it is all very true!
A book or D.V.D./C.D. that I really want is my ideal present! I love to be read to, and if it is a thoughtfully thought out book of Love Poems, then I could manage that.
D.V.D. or C.D., then I wouldn't complain because I've been dropping hints like bricks since Christmas sighing, "I wish someone had bought me that for Christmas". So, here's your second chance to make amends!

Puphigirl said...

I agree that Valentine's Day can be the giving of gifts that you didn't get at Christmas but wanted.

And also, even though I may be on a diet and declaring to work out more, I still want the chocolate in the heart-shaped box.

okeydokeyifine said...

I never got a bad gift, and yet I have gotten some of the things you have mentioned, and also gave some of the things you have mentioned.
Recently my hubby took me to a chick flick and we held hands and we ate ice cream and it was the best day.
Advice about gifts?...what does He think She will like? Flowers, candy,...remember He is just taking a stab in the dark. Know your man and what he is capable of. You can always exchange it later for that gift you really want. Or buy it for yourself and then He will see what kind of thing you like. We both got turtle candy this year. Each our own box.

RhondaLue said...

I usually get flowers and a sweet card but my worst BDAY present was when he bought be a bunch of cd's from artists he liked, I hated. I was like, yah-here, you can have them back. lol

Dianne said...

The sad thing, I have received all those gas station gifts. He did however STOP before he bought the panties folded into a rose...

Tulsi said...

How funny!! Mikele is having a hard time trying to think of a Valentine for her new guy and said she hoped he didn't get her a stuffed animal. But this guy is the type to scan, wander around, pick up and squeeze, feel, etc, to find her the Perfect stuffed animal. After all, it is "new love" Twidderpated kind.

Susie said...

LOL!! Perfect!!

Debbi said...

um. What is with that dual toilet thing?! Seriously? Unless you're attached at the head, who buys that crap!? (ha ha, crap. Get it? I used the word crap AND toilets.. Get it? Funny hey? ha.


ha. *sigh*)

Ruthykins said...

one day when i have my own house you better believe that we are getting a "love toilet". tee hee hee! oh, that's so funny. i, like okeydokey, have never received a bad gift. last year i got a blender. this year should be just as good.

Sweet Sassy Molassy said...

How about pets as a gift? Like a puppy, or kitty, or bunny, or wolverine, or even an illegal migrant laborer from Nicaragua.