Not Me Monday

I do NOT have all sorts of things planned to tell you about what I did NOT say or do this past week.

I did NOT take my oldest son in to see his oh-so-hot-pediatrician and I most certainly did NOT start smiling like a giddy school girl everytime he came into the room. And I did NOT certainly pay keen attention to detail and notice that the gray pinstripe slacks the oh-so-hot-pediatrician was wearing were NOT a flat-front panel, which are NOT like my favorite cut on men! When he did NOT ask me if migraines run in the family, I did NOT act like the oh-so-hot-pediatrician was asking me getting-to-know-you questions instead of trying to gain an accurate medical history for my child, who has recently become a migraine sufferer. When said oh-so-hot-pediatrician asked me what I took for my migraines, again I did NOT pretend in my mind that he was trying to make casual conversation. I did NOT feel like telling him that sometimes I find a really good, deep tissue massage helps, and that I felt a migraine coming on now, and oh, could he please help me out with that? No, I certainly did NOT want to tell him that.

I also did NOT have to deal with Freaking PLEBS at work this past week. Seriously, between 1 flake, 1 high-maintenance priestess, and 1 Mr Grand High-Poobah of Upper-Butt-Crack, I was NOT stressed at all!

By Thursday I did NOT get home from work and start seeing spots and flashing colors and start to feel suddenly exhausted. I was NOT trying to tell my daughter that perhaps we could skip out on orientation when all of a sudden I did NOT start mixing up my words. I did NOT know in my head what I wanted to say but it just did NOT come out wrong when I tried to speak. I then did NOT run over to my neighbors and I certainly did NOT appear to be playing a mad game of charades complete with tears! The neighbors did NOT take me to the Insta-Care, where I did NOT start to hyperventilate and have a panic attack because I couldn't form the words I wanted to say. They did NOT calm me down, take vitals, and do an EKG. And for the record, I did NOT notice the insta-care doctor had a cute dimple in his chin. The Cute-Dimpled-Chin-Dr then did NOT say he would feel better if I went up to the ER at the hospital and he did NOT add that he wanted me taken by Ambulance just in case something happened "in between here and there".

Paramedic #1 was NOT so super-hot while Paramedic #2 was NOT super-delicious-hot (yes, there is a difference) and they were both NOT so uber friendly in the little joy ride down to the ER.

Upon arrival, I was NOT able to speak again just fine and I was not feeling much better as far as the dizzy and flashing lights went, but the Headache portion of the migraine did NOT decide to unleash its wrath and my head did NOT start pounding away. The (male) nurse at the ER was sooo NOT cute and friendly and NOT funny in the least bit. I do NOT think that he thought for once I might have been trying to flirt with him... nope, not me.

While at the ER, I did NOT get a CT Scan, a couple of doses of this and a couple of doses of that, and the cute (male) ER Nurse did NOT also have to give me 2 different shots...IN.THE.BUM/HIP. Nope... he certainly did NOT!

As it turns out, It was NOT just your average run-of-the-mill ATYPICAL Migraine, which presented itself like a stroke. It was NOT scary stuff!

The ER Dr. (who was NOT totally toad-like in appearance) stated that because of recent med alterations to my Topomax, in conjunction with added S-T-R-E-S-S, the migraine was set off. He did NOT discharge me with orders to strictly stay on my Topomax regimen, see my neurologist as soon as possible to get back on sleeping meds, and to REDUCE STRESS. Ha!

By the way I am NOT obsessed with really Hot-Super-Delicious men who work in healthcare!

I did NOT also speak to my friend-and-confidant-counselor who did NOT point out some added stressors in my life right now: School is starting, I just hit the would-have-been-16-years-if-i-was-still-married anniversary, more stress at work, recent relationship changes...[screech]...

(Do you hear this? I do NOT blame you, and you do NOT know who you are. And I'm NOT stressing over you, I'm just saying... If you would NOT come to your senses and NOT admit what you're too afraid to admit, I'd be able to NOT sleep and NOT feel oh-so-happy and less stressed, that's all... Ergo, I do NOT think you are partly to blame :) ...)

...sigh... So, what did you NOT do?