Not Me Monday

It's Monday... Time to reveal all of the things I did NOT say or do last week.

I did NOT start working *again* on that mountain of laundry in preparation for our trip. I did NOT wash so many clothes and I did NOT enslave recruit the kids into folding, sorting and putting away. In the process we also did NOT end up taking 6 bagfuls to the local Deseret Industries donation center. Nope, we certainly did NOT.

I was NOT feeling overwhelmed all week about getting ready for my vacation, that I was NOT grateful Big-D invited me to go up to the trail with him Tuesday and I was NOT grateful he let me invite myself on Wednesday as I did NOT need some de-stressing time. However, I did NOT feel so tired, that even the short 3 miles did NOT feel like a hard 10.

On Wednesday I did NOT take off work a smidge early to get my required vehicle Safety & Emissions check done. While waiting at the Jiffy Lube, another customer did NOT feel the need to come and sit next to me and did NOT start talking to me. And normally I don't mind such chatter, but this man was NOT weird and did NOT give me the creeps as he did NOT inform me that he retired early so he could travel across the country by car and he did NOT say that he had lots of money and that, oh by the way he LOVES camping and that he had camping gear, complete with a cozy sleeping bag in the back of his car. Oh and he did NOT also happen to inform me that all that was missing from his life was a beautiful travel companion. EWWW! I was NOT like totally creeped out. I did NOT wanna totally tell him to get a B.E.A.U-tiful Dog, as they do NOT make great companions! Then, to top it off, when the employee called his name to tell him his vehicle was ready, the guy did NOT turn to me and say, "Guess they are right. They DO get their Lube jobs done in a jiffy!"

On Thursday, the plan was NOT to leave work by 1pm, get to the DMV by 1:30pm, get my plates renewed, get home to finish the last load or two of laundry, mow the lawn, clean my house, pack, eat an early dinner, take a xanax and be in bed by 6pm. Then I was NOT going to wake up at 3am, and be on the road by 4am to make the long drive to Carson City, NV for our family reunion, wherein I wanted to arrive by noon on Friday.

Instead, work got a little busy, and I didn't manage to leave until around 3:15pm. I did NOT make it to the DMV by 3:30pm, and get tags. Then because my headlight did NOT burn out, I did NOT have to make an unplanned stop at AutoZone. I did NOT ask the guy, while NOT batting my eyelashes trying my best to appear like a damsel in distress, how I would know if I had to replace just the bulb or the entire casing. The worker did NOT happen to be the manager. He did NOT look up my vehicle make & model on his computer and say it could be both, so he did NOT offer to run outside to see which type of light I had. He then did NOT inform me it would be just the bulb. I did NOT breathe a sigh of relief, as it was about a $70 savings. He then did NOT ask me if it was the high beam or low beam that was out. I did NOT once again play the damsel-in-distress role and say something like, "Gee, Mr. I don't know about stuff like that." To which he did NOT offer to go outside and check yet again. Once it was determined the low beam was out, the manager then did NOT offer to just change the bulb for me. Nope. He certainly did NOT.

After the said little AutoZone stop, I did NOT go home to find that my vacuum was broken and the lawn mower wouldn't start. I was NOT a little irritated and did NOT feel suddenly like crying. I was still NOT trying to clean my house and finish packing. My friend over @ umakeumad was asking why I cared if the house was clean before I left. I did NOT try to explain to him what if a tree fell on my roof while I was gone and the neighbors had to go inside? or what if my front door blows wide open (which it has done before) and they have to go shut it? or what if there is a fire? You KNOW people will come from all over to gawk! And the last thing I do NOT want people to see is a messy house! Plus, I don't want to come back from vacation and have CHORES! bleh! Yes. He did NOT think I was crazy.

I did NOT finally get my house clean, the mower did NOT get started, the lawn did NOT get mowed, the laundry did NOT get finished, and everything was NOT finally packed by 10pm!!! UGH! I did NOT figure that if I hurried and went to bed, I'd still have FIVE hours of sleep. However, I did NOT toss and turn and did NOT remember that the Xanax was packed away in the car in the first aid kit. I did NOT finally fall asleep shortly after 1am. I still did NOT manage to wake up shortly after 3am. My kids were NOT a little less than enthused to wake up and did NOT take a little coaxing to get in the car. We did NOT finally get on the road at 4:30am and I did NOT have to nurse two Diet Cokes on the way there to stay awake.

We still did NOT make fairly decent time, and including potty breaks and refueling stops, we did NOT get there in 9 hours. I then did NOT remember that in the midst of my running around the day before I did NOT totally forget my 4:30pm hair appointment!

So, what did you NOT do last week?