Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Post I Just Can't Blog About

So, like a month ago, I was gonna blog and tell you all about the 4LeggedCreature. But, no matter how many times I tried, I just couldn't do it. I even took pictures. But I couldn't post them.

What I was gonna blog about was the fact that for quite some time I had been contemplating finding a new home for our dog, Kayli. I was gonna explain to you (before you all jump on me for being cold and heartless) that we just simply could not care for her anymore.

I was gonna explain that when we got her, things were different here. I had a job that was flexible; I could work from home most days. I was married then. We had two incomes. My children were more involved with Kayli and we all seemed to have more time.

I was also going to say that when we first got Kayli, she was about 8 weeks old. We picked the small, QUIET one from the litter. I think perhaps now, looking back, I had mistook her anxiety for QUIET. She was a shy puppy. I thought it was cute. Within 2 months Kayli discovered she could bark; then I couldn't get her to stop.

And then things changed, you see. But I wasn't going to blog about that. I wasn't going to say that my world was turned upside down. I had thinking to do and choices to make. Choices that would affect the rest of my life and undoubtedly the lives of my children. There were a plethora of issues which I cannot even begin to go into. Suffice it to say, I made the decision to get divorced. I worried about the effects it would have on my children. I didn't know if we'd be able to keep Kayli; but we did.

As time went on, I had to work an 8-5 job outside of the home. The kids grew older and got busier. The pooch was often forgotten. Hardly a walk, hardly any play time. Then the neighbor's fence broke in the back corner. Kayli figured out how to escape and run the neighborhood. Fearing she'd get picked up by Animal Control (and fearing I'd get slapped with a fine I could not afford), we could no longer let her out to run and play as she pleased.

Then our street got busier. The train station opened at the end, and people started walking up and down our street from the bus stop to the train station all day long. And the dog would just sit and bark out the window ALL.THE.TIME. I feared that with me not home during the day, Kayli was not getting any rest away from the 6'x8' window. Even when I shut the curtains, all 18 lbs of her managed to tear them down so she could SEE.

Then Kayli started throwing up her food EVERY.TIME. I took her for her annual vet-check back in January. All was well...except she has high anxiety, said the vet. I agonized over this... (and the Vet bill). I knew that it just could not be good for this little dog to have so much anxiety and stress.

Then there were times in which I stressed over putting food on my own table, let alone in the dog dish. I knew. I knew then that I had to find her a new home. I had the discussion with the off-spring. There were tears. There were crusties. I persevered. I decided it was still the best thing all around.

But I couldn't let just anyone adopt Kayli. I received several email responses to my "Free Dog to Good Home" ad.

One response said: "i like you dog. i had one dog. but it got stoled. i live in moab. you drive here to bring me dog. ok. please reply. i like you dog." I was like, YEAH! RIGHT! First of all...HOW, Pray tell, did your other dog get "stoled"??? And second of all, I am NOT driving FOUR FREAKING HOURS to GIVE you a dog, so you can PRETEND to want it but instead, RAPE me and KILL me and LEAVE MY BODY TO ROT IN THE DESERT!!!!! NO WAY!

A few families came to look at Kayli. One had a little 2 year old boy that had a high-pitched scream in which he constantly demonstrated, compounded by his stomping feet. Kayli did not like that at all. She was very on edge around him.

After several "interviews", I finally found a good prospect. A woman, Meg, who has diabetes, had been in a car accident a year ago and both of her legs had to be amputated. Her hubby works long hours and travels quite a bit. The family didn't want Meg to be by herself all the time, so her sister built an apartment for her in their daylight basement, complete with a concrete ramp and everything. Meg has no children, and with hubby gone all.the.time., she was getting lonely. Her in-home nurse got a puggle last Christmas and would bring her by sometimes for Meg to see. Meg fell in love with the puggle and wanted one. She found my ad. We talked on the phone several times. She explained that she had a fully fenced backyard. She said that because they live in the basement apartment, her "front" window faces the back yard. No traffic for Kayli to bark at. And Meg has a motorized wheelchair and already goes on daily "walks" herself. Her husband was out of town at the time, and my children were with their dad. They had already told me that they were tired of the "interviews" and it was too painful to see their dog go. I felt in my heart that Meg was an answer to prayer.

I asked Big-D to be my emotional support. He agreed. We loaded up Kayli and all of her belongings and records and headed out to Meg's house. I was nervous the entire 30 minute drive. We got there. I knocked. Meg came to the door. We went in and to my surprise, Kayli did not bark. Not once. In fact, this is the FIRST person Kayli has never barked at... ever! We let her off the leash and she roamed and sniffed. Meg and I talked, and I felt good about the situation. When Big-D & I turned to leave, Kayli went to the door to go too. I told her, no... she was going to stay with her new mommy. Kayli was confused. She went over to Big-D, and tried to get him to take her. He patted her a few times and said, "I think the jig is up." I picked up Kayli and got her to go to Meg. I was surprised that she sat still. Big-D even got a picture so I could show the kids (and put it on the blog).

That night I went home to an empty house and empty bed. My feet were cold. A few times throughout the night, I scooted over to find Kayli to snuggle up to, before remembering she was gone. But I wasn't going to blog about that, cuz it is just too hard. The first 48 hours were the hardest. It was sort of a let down to come home from work and not have anyone be excited about it. No tail-wagging. No jumping around. No "Squealing" like she did.

I confessed this to Big-D. "Awww... you miss her!" he exclaimed. I'm not going to post about him being right. I worried how Kayli's first night went. Then Luckily the next morning I got this text from Meg:

"I just want to say thanks again for Kayli. She is such a beautiful dog. I just LOVE her."

I replied, "Oh good. I was worried how her first night went."

Meg texted back, "It took her a few minutes to warm up, but she is doing great. I just LOVE her. Thanks again! And feel free to check in any time."

So, I hope you understand why I just can't blog about Kayli and her new home...


RhondaLue said...

oh man, that's so tough!

We had to put our two dogs down a year ago. We'd had them for like over 9 yrs so it was tough when they both got very ill and dr said it was tumors and too expensive to treat. :( kids were so mad at us.

Anyway, looks like the pup is happy and so is Meg. I hope your kids are handling it ok. Even when it's the right thing, it's tough. ;(

springbubble said...

you people are animal lovers. i'm not heartless am i? hmm..maybe we just have different environment. here in our place breeded dogs are like P5,000 in minimum so the better the breed the higher it costs, and im talking about acquiring 'puppies'. you have to have plenty of money to afford and raise a well-bred dog. for those who can't afford but like to have pets ASKAL for Asong Kalye (i'm not sure, i think it's 'stray dog' in English) is the most common type of dog. it's inexpensive because Askals aren't picky with their food, and the owner can leave them at home or let them roam around without worrying about many things. Unless if the dog shows odd behavior like biting people, the owner then has to keep the dog locked up. Back to your pet, i think you made a very good decision. That's better than making the dog feel neglected and unwanted, right?

Susie said...

Ohhh! I am so sorry that you had to give up your wonderful pet. I am glad that you found her a nice home.

greenolive said...

I've had to give dogs up before and it is hard, but it's easier when you know the new family loves the pet. I bet kayli was an answer to Meg's prayers.

Deborah said...

Oh, Emma, I'm so sorry you and your kids are having to go through this! I've never had to give a pet up, although I've had several die (I grew up with pets). It's so hard to think about giving them up when they're a part of your family. Just the thought of giving up my two cats--whom we adopted not quite a year ago--brings tears to my eyes. But you did what was best for Kayli, and for Meg, too.

andrew's mom said...

That took a lot of did the right thing for you and your family and Kayli. Sometimes the right thing hurts like hell.

Two Blessings From Above said...

Sounds like you found the perfect home. I know it must be tough though.

The Willeyes said... I'm crying :( You made the right decision and sounds like it is a blessing for Meg too. I can't imagine how hard it was or still is. You are very brave. Tough decisions make you tougher right??? Hang in there :)

Debbi said...

I understand.

We had a dog I loved. Bought as a timid, abused puppy. GREAT dog. ANd hellion at the same time.

And then life hit and we had to sell him.

I missed him

I am sorry you miss your doggie.

Holli and Billy said...

That totally made me tear up! Such a hard decision...

dorneys said...

I feel your pain, we got rid of one of our dogs. I cried the most. I just tell myself they are better off with someone that only has to worry about the dog. We did not do the interview thing. I couldn't grad it on that long. She is a cute dog though!!

ann said...

ok i need to go hug and kiss my dog! please excuse me!

Tamie said...

it's always difficult to give up a loved pet---even any annoying one, eh?
i'm so glad that you found a goodhome for her...and that they will both help each other out....
glad that you "didn't" post about it :)

"The Queen in Residence" said...

I am so sorry for you, what a hard ordeal but it seems that again mom had to make the hard decision and in the end it was for the best.

Puphigirl said...

We were often barked at by Kayli, so for her to not bark at someone says something. I'm glad she found a good home.

BlueCastle said...

I'm glad you found a good home for her, but sorry you miss her so much. Good job on doing the right thing. :)

Cassie the Sassie Lassie said...

Emma, you are truly a blessed woman! I know how hard it is to lose a puppy (dog), and I know that there are choices that are better than others. It will take a while, but they will (hopefully) come to understand it was for the best.

So glad your prayer was answered, and that Big-D was there for you (what a guy!). Kayli will be HAPPY!!!

Megan said...

Awwwww.......what a hard and difficult situation! =( I can NOT imagine having to let a pet go, even if it is to a good home. I'm SO glad though that Kayli does have another good place to call home now. Very sweet of Meg to update you and let you know you can check in any time.