Monday, July 13, 2009

Not Me Monday

It's Monday, so it's time to share all of the things that I did NOT do or say this past week that did NOT keep me extremely busy.

Desperate Housewife did NOT have a birthday and therefore, a few of us gals here on HYSTeria lane did NOT go to Dinner. After the waiter took our drink order, PartyGirl did NOT mention how great he smelled. A conversation then did NOT ensue about what type of cologne he could possibly be wearing. YummyMummy & I did NOT look at each other and shrug as we were NOT seated on the inside of the booth and therefore denied premium smelling pleasure. As the waiter then returned with our food, and asked, "Is there anything else you girls need?" I did NOT say, "Actually yes. These ladies say you smell really good, and I can't tell, so..." Then I did NOT stand up and wave him over to me so I could get a whiff. The waiter then did NOT say, "Well, as long as I can get a hug out of it." Then the waiter and I did NOT hug. The waiter then did NOT flirt during the rest of dinner, and after a few conversations with him it was NOT apparent he was just looking for a "hook-up" and did NOT slip me his number and ask me what I was planning on doing in an hour and a half! Nope... he certainly did NOT. Oh - and he was NOT like 26 years old!!! We did NOT laugh about it the entire way home!

On Wednesday Big-D did NOT pick me up as well as his old High School Buddy & his wife and we did NOT go to the Corps Encore show. On the way, the wife did NOT start asking me tons of questions (like how Big-D & I met, etc.) which did NOT make me a little nervous, cuz I wasn't sure what Big-D had told them beforehand... I mean, was I his "date", a "friend", a "former girlfriend that is currently obsessed?" Once we got there and found our seats, Big-D whispers to me that he is going to use the restroom before the show starts. Apparently I flashed him a look of sheer terror, cuz then he did NOT chuckle and say, "Come with?" I did NOT nod. As we walked out, he did NOT take my hand and laughing say, "What's wrong? Nervous?" I did NOT reply, "Well she was asking me all sorts of questions!" He was NOT surprised that I, of all people, would actually be a little nervous around ANYONE. He did NOT squeeze my hand, assuring me that everything was fine. We did NOT have a great time and I did NOT enjoy watching the various corps from around the country compete. And afterwards, on the way back to the car, I did NOT imitate one especially flamboyant colorguard dancer in the parking lot, which was NOT complete with a Demi-pliƩ followed by a side leap, a smidge of sashaying and over-the-top facial expressions... nope, I certainly did NOT, and they did NOT laugh.

Saturday morning I did NOT attend my concealed-carry-weapons class in order to obtain my permit. It was NOT a great class taught by current sergeants from a certain city police force. And they did NOT actually have donuts and coffee there for refreshments! I was NOT told to arrive early so I could fill out my paperwork and get fingerprinted, etc. The sergeant that was taking my fingerprints did NOT ask me how I was. I did NOT respond "tired". He then did NOT ask why I wanted a gun permit or a gun. I did NOT tell him my reasons and add, "Plus, I think it's a little sexy." To which he did NOT perk his ears just a little. He then did NOT reply, as he was still fingerprinting me, "Oh, and here I thought you came just to hold my hand." I did NOT feel myself blush for the second time in one week. He then did NOT make me giggle and blush a little more as he took my picture for the permit and after the class did NOT ask if I was gonna get a pink gun. He was NOT shocked and totally impressed when I replied, "No," and proceeded to tell him about the various guns I had been looking at. He did NOT realize who he was dealing with. Nope, he certainly did NOT...hehehe...

Saturday evening was NOT the annual church pool party. I did NOT take my kids, the Friend-Girl, and another boy. PrettyPrettyPrincess did NOT take it upon herself to give me updates on the behavior of FunnyMan and the FriendGirl, as to whether or not they were holding hands or hugging, etc. It was NOT great as I did NOT sit in my chair in the shade and read a book and talk to the other non-swimming-mamas. I simply do NOT have a policy wherein I refrain from wearing my swimsuit in public, in front of people I know. Afterwards I did NOT take the kids (including the FriendGirl and the other boy) to Sonic for some late-night grub. FunnyMan did NOT ask me in front of everyone if I admit to being a "flirt". I did NOT admit to anything... nope, NOT me.

So, what did you NOT do this past week?

13 comments:

springbubble said...

It's great that you had fun!! So what are you going to use that gun for? Care to share? hehehe. Really, Emma it just makes me smile reading happy blogs.. May you always be happy..

Kaye Butler said...

Sounds like you did NOT have a great relaxing weekend. I did NOT tell my sisterinlaws about the Viva Viagra commercial and MaryMargaret. I did NOT skip town on Saturday and did NOT go to Tunica Mississippi to the outlet malls to shop. Of Course I did NOT drive to one of the casinos to eat a NOT wonderful buffet. Oh, and I DID NOT get to take two sisterinlaws with me.

I did NOT get some serious sun on Sunday that did NOT turn into a sunburn.

TravAndToni said...

I know I did NOT say that the puppy could stay..... No, I did NOT!

Holli and Billy said...

You totally do NOT make me laugh! It sounds like you had a very exciting week!

Susie said...

What a wonderful weekend you did NOT have:-)

Puphigirl said...

I did NOT get a car loan and I did NOT buy a pretty sweet used minivan.

The Blonde Duck said...

You sound like an absolute ball. Flirting, dodging inquisitions, getting your conceal permit...I love you!

greenolive said...

I did not get to shoot a crossbow Wed. night with the y.w. I did not take my son to the doctor and he did not receive a clean bill of health, which means he's not good to go to preschool. I did not make some yummy homemade pizza. I did not go to a reunion and I did not go to a great party afterwards where I did not help in the kitchen. They did not have the best food there, which I did not make a pig of myself eating since I wasn't helping in the KITCHEN. And that's about all that I didn't do last week.

okeydokeyifine said...

I just didn't yell at the grandchildren who were climbing under the piano. And the one did not get banished to the back yard to play. I did not help youngest clean up a little bit in her bedroom. I mostly was not moral support. And I am not looking forward to the 5 girls all being together and start to have dreams re: upcoming reunion.

erasundar said...

The flirting does NOT sound like fun and I will NOT try it myself! Girl you still got it - you got a hug - I'm impressed! :)

RhondaLue said...

having a conceal to carry IS sexy. RAWR!!! Emma!

Ruthykins said...

i did NOT have nursemom come over and help me bag up 16 bags of clothes and i did NOT take them to her house to be washed this week because i want to sell a lot at the yard sale that we are NOT having on saturday.

Megan said...

Wow! Look at you getting all flirty flirty and hit on!! LOL Love it!

I think Kyle would crap his pants if I ever told him I wanted to get a gun. I wish we didn't even have any in our house. They make me SOOO nervous!!

Sounds like you had a great week(end)!