Monday, May 18, 2009

Not Me Monday

So last week, I did NOT score 4 FREE tickets to the Bees game and I did NOT invite one of the families in my neighborhood to go with me. I did NOT take 4 other tickets from a rained out game last month to exchange them for general admission. I did NOT ask the ticket-booth-worker if he could possibly change the 4 seats for somewhere close to my other 4 tickets, which were NOT like in the 3rd row right behind the Batter's box. He totally did NOT come through for me, and we did NOT all get to sit together in the VIP section.

We did NOT totally laugh at the drunk bimbos in front of us or behind us as they did NOT totally talk real loud, NOT making fools of themselves, NOT including rooting for the wrong player. Also, when one of them did NOT overhear someone say "Go Nebraska!" she did NOT say, "No, dummy! Omaha is not in Nebraska!" and another did not stand up and loudly declare (after about 4 beers) "I have to pee!" No, they did not.

The game was NOT totally cool and my favorite player, Matt Brown did NOT totally hit a home run with 2 men on base, bringing everyone home and taking the score from 5-5 to an 8-5 win! And above all, I certainly did NOT call out to the players "on deck" about their yummy-bums or anything like unto it.

Also this week, I did NOT wake up slightly late one morning, and rush to get my oldest to school on time only to find that I had a dead vehicle in my drive. I did NOT attempt to call a few people who were obviously NOT already at work or still asleep. I did NOT plan to walk to work instead and did NOT scramble to find rides for my other children so they could also get to school. I did NOT stress thinking about what could possibly be wrong with the van and how this could possibly NOT cost me a fortune. Once arriving at work, I did NOT read a funny reply from Big-D to an email I did NOT send him the day before. In response to his reply, I did NOT tell him about my crappy morning. Big-D did NOT call me to see if I would like a ride home from work that day and I did NOT totally think he was my hero. I did NOT totally let him pick me up and we then did NOT run errands at Lowe's and get back to his place to paint his fireplace and clean before the Realtor showed up.

This Not Me Monday is NOT going to once again turn into a post about Big-D because I am totally NOT gobsmacked over him and totally do NOT think about him all.the.stinkin.time.

That being said, the Realtor, who is NOT his older cousin, did NOT show up without a bra on, to which I did NOT happily point out to Big-D who then did NOT cringe and ask, "WHY" I would point that out to him. I did NOT snicker and say because I knew that would NOT be his reaction.

As she - the Realtor Cousin - was downstairs, we did NOT go upstairs, to find curtains and a rod, among other things and I did NOT feel like living a little "dangerously" as I did NOT pretty much attack him...[giggling, blushing, biting lip]. After she left we were both NOT hungry and tired. I did NOT suggest we go eat sushi because I had a gift card and Big-D did NOT agree. Once we got there, I did NOT realize that I did NOT leave my gift card at home, and did NOT feel awful about it as we only went there because I did NOT suggest it and otherwise would NOT have ended up with pizza or something. Big-D was NOT totally cool about it, and did NOT take care of the check and say that we would NOT use my gift card another time.

I will NOT mention here that sushi is NOT totally an aphrodisiac for me and therefore I will NOT refrain telling you what happened once we got in his car because I am sure you do NOT all have imaginations...

Oh - and by the way - I totally do NOT have the best mechanic ever and thankfully, it was NOT just the battery, which he did NOT replace on-site while I was NOT at Big-D's.

So...what did you NOT do last week???


Anonymous said...

I did not get the impression that you and Big D are not the cutest couple ever.

RhondaLue said...

I did NOT just love that post. I do NOT think you are hilarious and my husband did NOT tell me that we are likely soul sisters.(Can a couple o' white chicks BE soul sisters?) lol

I did NOT do my own Not Me Monday post today. Please do NOT go check it out!

Ronnica said...

Watching drunks at games is one of my favorite things about going. I just don't get it.

Susie said...

I love your Monday confessionals:-)

okeydokeyifine said...

Did you Not tell Big D he doesn't have until August?

I did not have a very productive weekend. And I did not just get back from having lab work done, dental visit (cleaning), and chiropractic adjustment... so I don't feel like a new me.

Anonymous said...

I hate when I specifically go somewhere with a gift card and then forget it!!!!!!!

The game sounds fun!

Blog Stalker said...

I for one did NOT have fun reading that post and even did NOT wish I was at the game to see drunk chik, cuz I did NOT want to laugh my frikking head off

This was nnnnot a good post(NOT!)LOL

Have a great day!

Blue Castle said...

Love your NOT Me Monday posts. :)