Monday, July 14, 2008

What's in a Name???

Shakespeare wrote, "What's in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;" (Romeo & Juliet)

What Shakespeare is really trying to point out here is what matters is what something is, not what something is called.

True. A rose would smell the same whether it is called a "rose" or something else totally different. However I think when it comes to PEOPLE, names do matter. Names can make us feel important or of-worth. Names can give us confidence. On the flip side, names can also bring us insecurity, embarrassment or shame.


In high school, there was a girl three years older than me. Her name? Robin Hood! Why would her parents do that??? By the way her younger brother was Jeff. I guess they figured since she was the chic, she'd grow up and get married and change her last name anyway. Funny how he had the "normal" name, and yet he was, um, different.

Then there was Alison Land in my Showchoir Camp. I made her show me her Driver's License when she told me her full name - Alison Wonder Land.

Aaron Ball was is my grade. Once in Biology class, some other guys were picking on him and said he was Airin' out his Balls. Classy, huh?

In my sister's grade was Joey Strunk. Said three times fast, sounds like "Joey's Drunk".

Two summers in a row, when I was 13 & 14, I worked in the corn fields, detasseling corn. The farmers hired a bus to pick up the workers at various locations. There was this kid on my route...well...I will have to tell you another time. This is a PG Rated site, afterall... Just ask me about the boy on the bus when I was detasseling corn...

Then there was my neighbor, Dick Cox (no joke - even ask my sibs). His wife, Maris, worked in our High School cafeteria and she was a chain-smoker. At home, she baked cakes and cookies all the time. She would bring us her cakes, and we'd have to scrape off the frosting just to eat it (you could see remnants of cigarette ash in the frosting. Seriously - just ask my sibs).

I also knew a girl named Hope, that was hopeless, a girl named Charity - who wasn't so charitable, and a girl named Chastity, who...well...wasn't so chaste.

First and last names alike quickly become easy targets in the battlefields we call life, especially as kids. My poor brother EJ, for example (Enos James) was ridiculed on the bus once by some older boys that said, "Enos from Venus has a small Weenus". Well, something like that anyway. There was a girl in my grade - last name "Utley". How many times did I hear "Slutley-Utley"? Or in my older sis's grade was M. Rickey. She became known as "Sticky Rickey" (well - that could have also been because of her bad reputation too...hmmm).

Every now and again as I am "prospecting" various networking sites, I run across several usernames that leave me wondering, "what on earth was he thinking?" I mean, seriously, these men are CHOOSING their own usernames and still can't seem to get it right.

Here are REAL usernames that I have come across. GasB34, RattyLover, JediIAm, StanleySteamer, NiceFrenchy ...and that's only the beginning. These usernames are totally hideous, repugnant, and not attractive in the least bit.

In addition to these asinine usernames, here are some that are pretty swellheaded. AllThatIAm, ProfessorOfLove, SuperDude, and HotStuff. I do not understand why these men think that these names will entice women. Attention Men: Women don't want to date pompous jerks!

On the other hand, I am truly grateful to the RattyLovers of the world, and their oblivion to what really turns a women on. If anything, these usernames are huge Red Flags that say - "I'm an imbecile! Stay Away from Me!" Thanks for the warning, imbeciles!

Office Girl recently confided that she has a hard time keeping up with all of my "nicknames" and would prefer I just call them by their real names. As I explained to her, sometimes I need the nickname to protect their identity on this blog; for example HatDude, or Sergeant Guy. Other times, the nickname helps me remember what they do for a living or what their hobby is, such as Computer Dude. And finally, there are other times...well, if the shoe fits.... Camaro Creep & DUI Guy.

Then you have these celebrity baby names, such as Apple, Ever, Sunday, Knox, or Blanket. I just wanna say, "So somehow because you're famous, these names are supposed to sound less trailer-trashy?"

So, what's in a name? I guess that all depends. Is it something traditional like, Michael, Thomas, Matthew, Elizabeth, Hannah, or Sarah? ("Top 20 Most Popular Names") Or is your name Sharmonica? Wadine? Velveeta? or Larwan? (courtesy of "Bad Baby Names")

Perhaps the modern day expression should be "What's in a name? that which we call crap. By any other name would smell just like crap;"


Mel and Byde said...

At my last job we had a customer named "Richard Head." Yep...and he insisted on being called "Dick" Yeah...he says everyone was thinking it, so he may was well go by it. I was thinking...think again. Just say no!

hollibilly said...

Ha ha ha! I know a Richard Head too! There are a lot of crazy parents out there!

ciciray said...

When I was in school there was a girl named Candy Gum. And a girl named Windy Beach. My mom used to know a guy named Diky Growcock. And Kory had a teach named Richard Peter Dick. Too funny :)

tinabean1988 said...

This post is to funny.
I know a girl who's parents named her spring her last name is day. Poor girl.
Parents should really take more time picking out names.
Jer said you had nicknames for different guys you've gone out with I think it's funny.
He was telling me about one guy (that you had told him about) & well he sounded just like a guy I dated.
Have you been out with an Alex?

Puphigirl said...

I know the boy of which you speak from the corn field. I also can support your statement of Richard Cox. I sat next to Robin Hood in choir class. She was also a cheerleader.

greenolive said...

What, you don't think it's appropriate to purposely set your child up for mocking and scorn? It's cute!!! And by the way I seem to remember the name Lacy being tossed around a bit. lol