I guess we always want what we never seem to have, and sleeping doesn't come easily to me. That being said, I am exhausted and am ready for a nap.
I am soooo grateful for sleep!
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Saturday, November 19, 2011
30 Days of Gratitude: Day Nineteen
I guess we always want what we never seem to have, and sleeping doesn't come easily to me. That being said, I am exhausted and am ready for a nap.
I am soooo grateful for sleep!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
30 Days of Gratitude: Day Fifteen
I am grateful for vacations...
...and even sometimes STAYcations. I love taking road trips to visit family, heading to the beach, or camping, or flying to a new destination, or even driving up to the cabin for a long weekend. While seeing new things and visiting new places can be exciting, I also enjoy little mini-vacations/staycations of "nothing"... just me chilling out and sleeping in as late as I want, and staying in my pj's all day, should I so desire.
This year we are not going out of town for Thanksgiving. I already have the day planned out (a 90 minute intense boot-camp workout that morning, then heading to friends), but the rest of the weekend is open, so to speak. Initially, I thought it would be a great weekend for some deep cleaning. But truth be told, I have felt so exhausted lately, that I am now starting to think I need to just relax and do NOTHING; my body is telling me I need some major rest. So, that is my new plan.
I am sooo looking forward to next weekend. I am grateful for vacations!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday Sentiments: Day of Rest
I know I have mentioned this a time or two, but I am a fan of the Sunday nap. And when I say nap, I should clarify it's more like a napathon. Seriously, my Sunday naps last anywhere from about 3-4 hours. Anything less doesn't seem to make much of an impact and anything more takes me into the evening. 4 hours is definitely preferred over 3 hours, but I will take what I can get.
I grew up in a church-going family in a church-going town in the Midwest. Most everything was closed on Sundays and if a store was open, it had very limited hours. We also all knew the town pharmacist and if needed he could be reached at home on a Sunday afternoon and he would be all-too-happy to go in and fill an emergency prescription. This is what we in Mormon culture would refer to as "the ox in the mire" situation. (Luke 14:1-6)
In essence, I was raised that Sunday is a Holy Day and we are to set that day aside to rest from our labors and participate in activities that are uplifting. To many of us this might mean we visit with family or visit and serve the sick, the elderly or the needy. I remember many Sunday evenings my dad would take a drive out to his parents' house. Being Amish, they had no phone and he liked to check in on them from time to time. Sometimes some of us kids would go with him. Sometimes the visit was a formally planned one and other times just a "drop in" to say hi. Either way, we were always welcomed and it was always nice to spend a Sunday evening at Grandma's and Grandpa's farm.
Sometimes on Sundays we'd invite a family from church over for dinner and we'd get to know them a little better. As far back as I can remember my parents usually did this when we had new members move in. As kids we enjoyed it too, especially if that family had kids near to our ages.
More often than not, we spent our Sunday evenings quietly at home. We'd come home from church and everyone would pitch in to make a big meal and then we'd eat the big meal. After that, we sort of all did our own thing. Some would take naps, others might read, a few "slackers" might have some homework to finish, etc. As the evening time would roll around my dad would often turn on his Celtic radio program and pop popcorn. Usually someone would volunteer to make a batch of brownies or cookies and sometimes there would be ice cream too. Sometimes we'd gather around and watch a movie on tv or something. But something I always remember is falling asleep on the couch and taking a Sunday nap.
When I got to college the campus cafeteria was open for a big lunch and then for Sunday dinner it was an "express" meal. Which basically meant brown-baggin' it. I remember taking a nap in my dorm room between meals.
When I got married and started having children, pregnancy definitely kicked my butt. Some people would get that pregnancy glow. I always had the pregnancy blahs. Sunday naps became more important to me back then.
Then, after moving to Utah I started to work for the airlines. I worked a late night shift until the middle of the night and often got home between 2:30am and 3:30am. I had to have my Sunday naps then just to recover from my shifts. I don't think I have had a good night sleep in years because of that job.
Anyway, I just got in the habit of having my Sunday naps. It is such a habit that my children always expect it. In fact, it's probably the only time I can nap uninterrupted. If I ever try to sneak a nap somewhere in the middle of the week, it is inevitable that one of them needs something, and they will not hesitate to disturb me.
But Sunday is different. I need my Sunday naps, more now than ever before. It helps me recover from my busy week, and gets me off on the right start for the week ahead. I can tell a difference if I do not get my nap and my mind and body ends up paying for it all week long.
Someone recently asked me how I can "afford" to take that long of a nap every Sunday. My answer was that I have to PLAN to take my nap. I plan things around my nap time. I plan the type of meal around the fact that I will have an afternoon ciesta.
I think that is in part the key... In order to enjoy a restful Sunday, one must prepare to have a day of rest.
I think that when the Lord commanded us to rest from our labors for a day and to have a day of rest, it is because He knew I'd need it! And I am all too happy to oblige. :)
In addition to resting, I have recently done a bit if a self-assessment and pondered what I am doing to make my Sundays more meaningful, to set that day apart from the others. I definitely have the "rest" part down, but I am sure there is more that I can do. Definitely something to consider.
That being said, I am off to take my nap... I hope you get a little rest today too!
Happy Sunday!
Friday, June 18, 2010
If You're Scared, Look Towards the Light
I took a day off of work yesterday; well, my paying job that is. I still worked.
I got up and dropped my oldest at summer school. Then I went BACK.TO.BED. until 9:30. It was heaven.
Next, I ran errands, like Costco, the grocery store, etc. I also trimmed my out-of-control rose bush so it would stop assaulting me every time I walked past. Got groceries put away, cleaned my house from top to bottom and even managed to get 4 loads of laundry done AND listened to an online lecture for school.
I tried a new Taco Salad Recipe (Thanks Linda & Jen!) and got my grill on for dinner. The sister who lives close by came over with her hubby & kids. And, my aunt from Tennessee (the one that sent me treats @ Christmas) and her daughter and her grandson came to visit too! They made the road trip because my Aunt and cousin are dropping my cousin's son off to college and he is starting Summer Term. We ate. We laughed. We got the fire pit going and the kids made s'mores and "roasted" Starbursts.
Even after the out-of-towners headed back to the hotel to sleep, my sister & BIL & I hung out until MIDNIGHT and chatted and laughed and wheezed and almost peed our pants. Guess we lost track of time... oops.
The little ones wanted a sleepover. We obliged. It took them about 30 minutes or so to wind down. I kept hearing whispers and giggles. And the littlest one must have gotten scared at some points, cuz then I'd hear PrettyPrettyPrincess say, "If you get scared, just look towards the light." She was referring to the light from the bathroom, bleeding into the hallway and shining in her room. Nevertheless, it made me smile.
Here's a pic of the cousin sleepover in progress.
After-Party clean up was a breeze, thanks to paper products. I know I need to go to work tomorrow (which is now today). But it's productive and fun days like this that makes me wish I didn't have to :)
I got up and dropped my oldest at summer school. Then I went BACK.TO.BED. until 9:30. It was heaven.
Next, I ran errands, like Costco, the grocery store, etc. I also trimmed my out-of-control rose bush so it would stop assaulting me every time I walked past. Got groceries put away, cleaned my house from top to bottom and even managed to get 4 loads of laundry done AND listened to an online lecture for school.
I tried a new Taco Salad Recipe (Thanks Linda & Jen!) and got my grill on for dinner. The sister who lives close by came over with her hubby & kids. And, my aunt from Tennessee (the one that sent me treats @ Christmas) and her daughter and her grandson came to visit too! They made the road trip because my Aunt and cousin are dropping my cousin's son off to college and he is starting Summer Term. We ate. We laughed. We got the fire pit going and the kids made s'mores and "roasted" Starbursts.
Even after the out-of-towners headed back to the hotel to sleep, my sister & BIL & I hung out until MIDNIGHT and chatted and laughed and wheezed and almost peed our pants. Guess we lost track of time... oops.
The little ones wanted a sleepover. We obliged. It took them about 30 minutes or so to wind down. I kept hearing whispers and giggles. And the littlest one must have gotten scared at some points, cuz then I'd hear PrettyPrettyPrincess say, "If you get scared, just look towards the light." She was referring to the light from the bathroom, bleeding into the hallway and shining in her room. Nevertheless, it made me smile.
Here's a pic of the cousin sleepover in progress.
After-Party clean up was a breeze, thanks to paper products. I know I need to go to work tomorrow (which is now today). But it's productive and fun days like this that makes me wish I didn't have to :)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
It's Sunday. You Only Get ONE Meal!
Growing up, we had one big meal on Sundays. I mean, we ate breakfast (usually cereal, sometimes pancakes) and then scurried off to church. Once we got home we worked together to make "Sunday Dinner". I remember hanging out in the kitchen, seeing what I could do to help. Mostly because I was hungry, and wanted to speed things along.
It was during these Sunday preparation times I learned to set a table, tear lettuce (not chop), slice onions, chop tomatoes, make Garlic Bread, grate cheese, or whatever other task I was given. Then... we ATE! Depending on what time our church ended, when we got home, and how long it took to make the food, Sunday "Dinner" would often commence sometime between the hours of 1-3.
Usually following the meal, my parents would take a nap. (I don't care what ANY of you are thinking...in *my* mind, they took a nap.) Then in the evening, around 7pm, my dad would make popcorn. This was pretty much a Sunday tradition. In the winter months, he would often do one batch of homemade caramel corn too!
Now, to accompany the popcorn we would also have Ice Cream or brownies or cookies, or whatever it was one of us girls baked (usually me) while my parents were taking said nap. Then we snacked the rest of the night while we played games or watched a TV program together.
Ok, fast forward. When I became an adult, I followed this same pattern. Come home from church, make the "big meal"/"Sunday Dinner", then NAP (for me, it really *IS* a nap!) and then snack the rest of the night.
When I was married, I remember the first few times my husband would ask me, around 6pm, "What's for dinner?" I'd look at him like, "Are YOU CRAZY??" I would answer with, "Um... nothing. It's Sunday. You get ONE meal. If you're hungry, find a snack." I have ALWAYS been like this, yet it never fails. Every Sunday around 7pm, one of my children (usually the same one) will inevitably ask, "What's for dinner?" And I always respond... "Um...it's Sunday. One Meal."
Anyway, it's funny to me that I do not get hungry on Sundays for more than one meal. Also, I can barely make it through the meal staying awake. As soon as I finish my plate, I literally drag myself to my room and I am OUT.FOR.THE.COUNT. I can't even stay awake long enough to wash dishes. That usually happens *After* I get up and while the brownies or cookies or cake are baking.
I mean, any other day of the week, even if I *do* have a late lunch, once it hits 6pm or 7pm I am STARVING for dinner. And though I don't really sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time anyway, I can rarely nap on a "regular day".
I guess my brain just KNOWS when it is Sunday.
What about you? Is your brain wired differently on a certain day of the week or during certain events?
It was during these Sunday preparation times I learned to set a table, tear lettuce (not chop), slice onions, chop tomatoes, make Garlic Bread, grate cheese, or whatever other task I was given. Then... we ATE! Depending on what time our church ended, when we got home, and how long it took to make the food, Sunday "Dinner" would often commence sometime between the hours of 1-3.
Usually following the meal, my parents would take a nap. (I don't care what ANY of you are thinking...in *my* mind, they took a nap.) Then in the evening, around 7pm, my dad would make popcorn. This was pretty much a Sunday tradition. In the winter months, he would often do one batch of homemade caramel corn too!
Now, to accompany the popcorn we would also have Ice Cream or brownies or cookies, or whatever it was one of us girls baked (usually me) while my parents were taking said nap. Then we snacked the rest of the night while we played games or watched a TV program together.
Ok, fast forward. When I became an adult, I followed this same pattern. Come home from church, make the "big meal"/"Sunday Dinner", then NAP (for me, it really *IS* a nap!) and then snack the rest of the night.
When I was married, I remember the first few times my husband would ask me, around 6pm, "What's for dinner?" I'd look at him like, "Are YOU CRAZY??" I would answer with, "Um... nothing. It's Sunday. You get ONE meal. If you're hungry, find a snack." I have ALWAYS been like this, yet it never fails. Every Sunday around 7pm, one of my children (usually the same one) will inevitably ask, "What's for dinner?" And I always respond... "Um...it's Sunday. One Meal."
Anyway, it's funny to me that I do not get hungry on Sundays for more than one meal. Also, I can barely make it through the meal staying awake. As soon as I finish my plate, I literally drag myself to my room and I am OUT.FOR.THE.COUNT. I can't even stay awake long enough to wash dishes. That usually happens *After* I get up and while the brownies or cookies or cake are baking.
I mean, any other day of the week, even if I *do* have a late lunch, once it hits 6pm or 7pm I am STARVING for dinner. And though I don't really sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time anyway, I can rarely nap on a "regular day".
I guess my brain just KNOWS when it is Sunday.
What about you? Is your brain wired differently on a certain day of the week or during certain events?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Lists
In case you haven't noticed or been paying close attention, I DO.NOT.SLEEP.
I am a clinically diagnosed insomniac. It's true. Someone once asked what an insomniac "does" instead of sleep. I answered, "BLOG!" hahaha!
Here is how it works for me. If I try to lay down before 11pm, I will toss and turn until 2am, feeling like I have just wasted so much time. I no longer try to go to bed before 11pm. It's pointless. I rarely even try to go to be before midnight. My goal: Go to sleep sometime between 12am-2am. On the nights I succeed, I will ALWAYS wake up at 3am, again at 330am, again at 4am, 4:30am... well, you get the idea. However, most nights, I fall asleep between 2am and 4am and THEN wake up only every hour until about 6:30am.
The question then begs, "What keeps me up at night?" Well, truthfully, what DOESN'T???
Love. Thoughts. Ideas. Love. Money. School. Love. Children. Health. Church. Love. Ideas. Thoughts. Love. More Thoughts. More Ideas. Love. Love. Love. ...you get the idea...
So, what do I do about all of these thoughts and ideas? I make lists. No, I do not keep a pencil and notepad by my bed. However, I *DO* keep my blackberry phone AND my laptop by my bed. Mostly, I make lists in my phone's memo-pad or add to the already-growing lists. On really bad nights, I will actually get up, turn on the laptop and blog away. I've also been known to drum up some fliers for the church activity or an invite to a child's party, etc.
Oh! You wanna know my lists? Well, ok... but I *WARN* you, they are RANDOM... (i know, big surprise)...
Without further adieu... my lists:
5k training tips
Baby names I like (and no, i am not even planning on having a baby *anytime* soon)
Blog Topics
Bucket list
iTunes wish list
Movies to see
Races
Things to Google
Things to tell Big-D (this one is basically empty, which probably causes me the most stress ever)
I know what y'all are thinking... "That's what keeps you up???" Well, yeah, see they don't call it Insomnia for nothing! :)
I am a clinically diagnosed insomniac. It's true. Someone once asked what an insomniac "does" instead of sleep. I answered, "BLOG!" hahaha!
Here is how it works for me. If I try to lay down before 11pm, I will toss and turn until 2am, feeling like I have just wasted so much time. I no longer try to go to bed before 11pm. It's pointless. I rarely even try to go to be before midnight. My goal: Go to sleep sometime between 12am-2am. On the nights I succeed, I will ALWAYS wake up at 3am, again at 330am, again at 4am, 4:30am... well, you get the idea. However, most nights, I fall asleep between 2am and 4am and THEN wake up only every hour until about 6:30am.
The question then begs, "What keeps me up at night?" Well, truthfully, what DOESN'T???
Love. Thoughts. Ideas. Love. Money. School. Love. Children. Health. Church. Love. Ideas. Thoughts. Love. More Thoughts. More Ideas. Love. Love. Love. ...you get the idea...
So, what do I do about all of these thoughts and ideas? I make lists. No, I do not keep a pencil and notepad by my bed. However, I *DO* keep my blackberry phone AND my laptop by my bed. Mostly, I make lists in my phone's memo-pad or add to the already-growing lists. On really bad nights, I will actually get up, turn on the laptop and blog away. I've also been known to drum up some fliers for the church activity or an invite to a child's party, etc.
Oh! You wanna know my lists? Well, ok... but I *WARN* you, they are RANDOM... (i know, big surprise)...
Without further adieu... my lists:
5k training tips
Baby names I like (and no, i am not even planning on having a baby *anytime* soon)
Blog Topics
Bucket list
iTunes wish list
Movies to see
Races
Things to Google
Things to tell Big-D (this one is basically empty, which probably causes me the most stress ever)
I know what y'all are thinking... "That's what keeps you up???" Well, yeah, see they don't call it Insomnia for nothing! :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Parasomnia, Insomnia & Migraines
Well - I went to my neurology appointment a few weeks ago. It only took me 2 1/2 mos to get it. Good thing it wasn't urgent. Anyway - here are the updates. Feel free to skip today's post as some of you might find this boring...
#1) I suffer from Parasomnia. Parasomnia, from what the Dr. explained, is when one talks, walks, or engages in other behavior while sleeping. The talking can be clear and enunciated, or it can be slurred or even sound like moaning and grunts. This behavior usually occurs when one is extremely exhausted or under a lot of stress. It can also be a side effect of other medications. I have never walked in my sleep, but I have been told that I occasionally talk in my sleep, sometimes even giggle out loud, and once last week, I woke my daughter up because I was yelling at someone. Anyway - makes sense. I do feel stressed a lot and I am always exhausted as I do not sleep very well.
When I explained my sleeping problems to the neurologist, she asked,
"How long have you been dealing with the insomnia?"
Me: Well, I wouldn't call it insomnia.
Dr: What would you call it?
Me: Well, I just have problems falling asleep, and then when I do, I can't manage to stay asleep.
Dr: On average, how many nights per week would you say you have trouble falling asleep?
Me: Five or six nights per week.
Dr: And what time would you say you tend to finally fall asleep
Me: Anytime between 2 am and 4 am.
Dr. And how often do you wake up during the night?
Me: Usually about once per hour.
Dr: What time do you usually go to bed, to attempt to go to sleep.
Me: I am usually in bed by midnight.
Dr: And you toss and turn and can't go to sleep until sometime between 2 and 4?
Me: Yes.
Dr: And what time do you get up in the morning?
Me: Between 6 and 7.
Dr: So on average you *might* get 2, maybe 4 hours of sleep, and then it is not restful sleep at that.
Me: Correct.
Dr: Yep. You have insomnia.
Me: Oh. I guess I thought insomnia is when you never sleep.
Dr: Hon - you're NOT sleeping. You have insomnia.
#2) I have Insomnia (they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?)
Anyway I did a sleep test for sleep apnea... it's not back yet. Don't know what those results will be.
#3) I suffer from Migraines. The neurologist ran some tests and as it turns out what I thought were daily headaches are actually migraines. I did not think I had migraines other than occasionally. However, the Dr. said that people have migraines more than they even realize they do.
We tend to think of migraines as a splitting headache, making us nauseous and sensitive to light, etc. While those are definitely signs of a migraine, there is such a thing as a mild migraine which is not debilitating. Who knew?
Anyway, she told me that the migraine tends to be one-sided, and will manifest itself by pain in the temple or behind an eye, where as a regular headache could be across the entire forehead or a tension headache in the base of the neck and/or shoulders. A Migraine can also cause that dizzy "elevator" feeling, which is different than vertigo (room-spinning) feeling. This explained why I was having frequent "dizzy spells".
Her best diagnosis as the culprit for the migraines was a lack of sleep... ya think? So, for now, we are doing the following treatments and then I go back next month. If this doesn't work, we do more work-ups and more tests.
I take topomax each night before bed. This will prevent migraines the next day. The problem is that there are side-effects. The biggest two that seem to affect me are numbness and lack of focus. I get numbness and tingling in the tips of my fingers and occasionally in my lips and/or face. And During the day, I don't have the headaches, but I feel like I can't concentrate. She did warn me that it sort of induces like an ADHD effect. I have seen this to be true. I have a hard time focusing at work, and often can't remember what I was doing from one minute to the next, getting easily distracted, etc.
I take an Ambien before bed. The ambien helps me fall asleep. The problem is it doesn't KEEP me asleep. So, on the days I feel especially anxious, I take my Xanax, instead of the Ambien. But I can't take that every day as it is addicting.
So - there you have it... My recent medical adventure. Sorry, no horror stories on prodding or poking this time. Oh, and for those who are wondering, I have tried the "herbal remedies" such as the melatonin and chamomile, etc. They just don't work for me. Other people swear by herbs. For some reason, they have never really done anything except make me have to pee more frequently.
The exercising has helped in the sense that I get tired sooner and therefore try to get to bed before 11pm.
So, just don't be surprised if you come for a visit and you hear me laughing, screaming or crying in my sleep. My kids think it is funny, because when I am in my parasomnia stage, they can actually carry on a conversation and ask questions, to which I will answer. Ha ha... very funny!
oh...and I am in the clear for any type of tumors that they were looking for... whew! ;)
#1) I suffer from Parasomnia. Parasomnia, from what the Dr. explained, is when one talks, walks, or engages in other behavior while sleeping. The talking can be clear and enunciated, or it can be slurred or even sound like moaning and grunts. This behavior usually occurs when one is extremely exhausted or under a lot of stress. It can also be a side effect of other medications. I have never walked in my sleep, but I have been told that I occasionally talk in my sleep, sometimes even giggle out loud, and once last week, I woke my daughter up because I was yelling at someone. Anyway - makes sense. I do feel stressed a lot and I am always exhausted as I do not sleep very well.
When I explained my sleeping problems to the neurologist, she asked,
"How long have you been dealing with the insomnia?"
Me: Well, I wouldn't call it insomnia.
Dr: What would you call it?
Me: Well, I just have problems falling asleep, and then when I do, I can't manage to stay asleep.
Dr: On average, how many nights per week would you say you have trouble falling asleep?
Me: Five or six nights per week.
Dr: And what time would you say you tend to finally fall asleep
Me: Anytime between 2 am and 4 am.
Dr. And how often do you wake up during the night?
Me: Usually about once per hour.
Dr: What time do you usually go to bed, to attempt to go to sleep.
Me: I am usually in bed by midnight.
Dr: And you toss and turn and can't go to sleep until sometime between 2 and 4?
Me: Yes.
Dr: And what time do you get up in the morning?
Me: Between 6 and 7.
Dr: So on average you *might* get 2, maybe 4 hours of sleep, and then it is not restful sleep at that.
Me: Correct.
Dr: Yep. You have insomnia.
Me: Oh. I guess I thought insomnia is when you never sleep.
Dr: Hon - you're NOT sleeping. You have insomnia.
#2) I have Insomnia (they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?)
Anyway I did a sleep test for sleep apnea... it's not back yet. Don't know what those results will be.
#3) I suffer from Migraines. The neurologist ran some tests and as it turns out what I thought were daily headaches are actually migraines. I did not think I had migraines other than occasionally. However, the Dr. said that people have migraines more than they even realize they do.
We tend to think of migraines as a splitting headache, making us nauseous and sensitive to light, etc. While those are definitely signs of a migraine, there is such a thing as a mild migraine which is not debilitating. Who knew?
Anyway, she told me that the migraine tends to be one-sided, and will manifest itself by pain in the temple or behind an eye, where as a regular headache could be across the entire forehead or a tension headache in the base of the neck and/or shoulders. A Migraine can also cause that dizzy "elevator" feeling, which is different than vertigo (room-spinning) feeling. This explained why I was having frequent "dizzy spells".
Her best diagnosis as the culprit for the migraines was a lack of sleep... ya think? So, for now, we are doing the following treatments and then I go back next month. If this doesn't work, we do more work-ups and more tests.
I take topomax each night before bed. This will prevent migraines the next day. The problem is that there are side-effects. The biggest two that seem to affect me are numbness and lack of focus. I get numbness and tingling in the tips of my fingers and occasionally in my lips and/or face. And During the day, I don't have the headaches, but I feel like I can't concentrate. She did warn me that it sort of induces like an ADHD effect. I have seen this to be true. I have a hard time focusing at work, and often can't remember what I was doing from one minute to the next, getting easily distracted, etc.
I take an Ambien before bed. The ambien helps me fall asleep. The problem is it doesn't KEEP me asleep. So, on the days I feel especially anxious, I take my Xanax, instead of the Ambien. But I can't take that every day as it is addicting.
So - there you have it... My recent medical adventure. Sorry, no horror stories on prodding or poking this time. Oh, and for those who are wondering, I have tried the "herbal remedies" such as the melatonin and chamomile, etc. They just don't work for me. Other people swear by herbs. For some reason, they have never really done anything except make me have to pee more frequently.
The exercising has helped in the sense that I get tired sooner and therefore try to get to bed before 11pm.
So, just don't be surprised if you come for a visit and you hear me laughing, screaming or crying in my sleep. My kids think it is funny, because when I am in my parasomnia stage, they can actually carry on a conversation and ask questions, to which I will answer. Ha ha... very funny!
oh...and I am in the clear for any type of tumors that they were looking for... whew! ;)
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Socks, Sheets & Shenanigans
So, I was over at Tulsi's checking things out, when she confesses hating wrinkles in her sheets, and the need to wear socks to bed. I laughed because, I saw a bit of myself in that. So, in the spirit of confessionals, I too will share a few of my mindless bedtime habits and/or obsessions.
Many of you know how much I HATE feet - Bare feet, that is. If you're gonna wear flip-flops or sandals, or ANY open-toed shoes, may I suggest polishing those piggies? Oh - and if you insist on walking around barefoot, may I kindly request that you NOT show me the (black) bottoms of your feet? Thanks.
Ok - with that being said, the other thing I HATE is when my bare feet touch the SHEETS!!! I know, weird! But I HATE the way basic sheets feel on my skin - ewww - like nails on a chalkboard! ugh! I think it started when we moved back to Indiana from Hawaii. I had to re-adjust to the dry winter weather, and my feet always seemed dry. Aside of lathering them up with lotion each night, I started the habit of wearing socks to bed! And if I do not have socks handy, then I must tuck my blankie around my feet. Now, this is not just at night either. If I lay down to take a nap, on come the socks. It's just a lot easier than having to deal with those yucky sheets!
I know what you're thinking..."how did she - um...y'know..." The answer would fall somewhere in the "yes I wore socks, but not always" category! Anyhow - it doesn't matter at the moment, as I am a "Born-Again-Virgin" , thanks to the divorce. (Sorry, I digress.) Anyway, currently I just have to worry about sleeping in socks.
About 3 years ago however, I did discover the PURE JOY of HIGH THREAD-COUNT SHEETS!!! I came across a package of 950 thread count Egytpian Cotton Sheets for about $50 at TJMaxx. I figured, "What the hay!" and bought them. I FELL IN LOVE!!! Since then, I cannot go back to basic 250 thread count or ANY type of percale (gross). In fact the minimum thread-count I will buy is around 800, and TJMaxx is sooo much cheaper than other dept stores, which for the same quality would be about 4 times as much. The ones on my bed at the moment, may I say, are 1000 Thread-Count, brushed cotton sheets. Oh, the luxury. Oh the love.
The other thing I tend to do at night is wake up to "Turn the Pillow". Yes, you heard me. I MUST have a COLD PILLOW!!! It has to feel clean and crisp. Not hot and drooled on. Therefore, several times through-out the night, I awake to turn the pillow in search of a "cool" spot. And, of course, my hair has to be completely off of my face.
Speaking of Pillows...I need one pillow for my head (that's a given), one for under or in-between my knees (I have a rotated pelvis - fun!), and then I need two more for my hand!!! Yes, my hand must be sandwiched between two pillows. I sleep on the right side of my bed, and when I sleep on MY right side, my arm goes up under my pillow, which then leaves my hand to "fend for herself". So, I prefer to sandwich it between 2 pillows. So that is FOUR pillows!!! If I am on my left side, then my left arm can be sandwiched between the mattress and only one pillow.
Last but not least, I like to have the air circulating in the room, so that I do not get too hot & sweaty! This is because I HAVE to have the quilt snuggled ALL THE WAY UP TO MY NECK!!! Needless to say. doing so makes me quite hot, thus, the ceiling fan and/or air has got to be on.
Well - that about sums it up with the socks, sheets and shenanigans. Hmmm, it's a lot more complicated than I initially thought it would be. And I wonder why I have a hard time falling asleep...[yawn]...
Many of you know how much I HATE feet - Bare feet, that is. If you're gonna wear flip-flops or sandals, or ANY open-toed shoes, may I suggest polishing those piggies? Oh - and if you insist on walking around barefoot, may I kindly request that you NOT show me the (black) bottoms of your feet? Thanks.
Ok - with that being said, the other thing I HATE is when my bare feet touch the SHEETS!!! I know, weird! But I HATE the way basic sheets feel on my skin - ewww - like nails on a chalkboard! ugh! I think it started when we moved back to Indiana from Hawaii. I had to re-adjust to the dry winter weather, and my feet always seemed dry. Aside of lathering them up with lotion each night, I started the habit of wearing socks to bed! And if I do not have socks handy, then I must tuck my blankie around my feet. Now, this is not just at night either. If I lay down to take a nap, on come the socks. It's just a lot easier than having to deal with those yucky sheets!
I know what you're thinking..."how did she - um...y'know..." The answer would fall somewhere in the "yes I wore socks, but not always" category! Anyhow - it doesn't matter at the moment, as I am a "Born-Again-Virgin" , thanks to the divorce. (Sorry, I digress.) Anyway, currently I just have to worry about sleeping in socks.
About 3 years ago however, I did discover the PURE JOY of HIGH THREAD-COUNT SHEETS!!! I came across a package of 950 thread count Egytpian Cotton Sheets for about $50 at TJMaxx. I figured, "What the hay!" and bought them. I FELL IN LOVE!!! Since then, I cannot go back to basic 250 thread count or ANY type of percale (gross). In fact the minimum thread-count I will buy is around 800, and TJMaxx is sooo much cheaper than other dept stores, which for the same quality would be about 4 times as much. The ones on my bed at the moment, may I say, are 1000 Thread-Count, brushed cotton sheets. Oh, the luxury. Oh the love.
The other thing I tend to do at night is wake up to "Turn the Pillow". Yes, you heard me. I MUST have a COLD PILLOW!!! It has to feel clean and crisp. Not hot and drooled on. Therefore, several times through-out the night, I awake to turn the pillow in search of a "cool" spot. And, of course, my hair has to be completely off of my face.
Speaking of Pillows...I need one pillow for my head (that's a given), one for under or in-between my knees (I have a rotated pelvis - fun!), and then I need two more for my hand!!! Yes, my hand must be sandwiched between two pillows. I sleep on the right side of my bed, and when I sleep on MY right side, my arm goes up under my pillow, which then leaves my hand to "fend for herself". So, I prefer to sandwich it between 2 pillows. So that is FOUR pillows!!! If I am on my left side, then my left arm can be sandwiched between the mattress and only one pillow.
Last but not least, I like to have the air circulating in the room, so that I do not get too hot & sweaty! This is because I HAVE to have the quilt snuggled ALL THE WAY UP TO MY NECK!!! Needless to say. doing so makes me quite hot, thus, the ceiling fan and/or air has got to be on.
Well - that about sums it up with the socks, sheets and shenanigans. Hmmm, it's a lot more complicated than I initially thought it would be. And I wonder why I have a hard time falling asleep...[yawn]...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Things That Go Bump In The Night
It was shortly before 1:00 am.
I tossed and I turned. I was hot and then cold. I couldn't find a comfortable place for my shoulder to rest without feeling like my arm was gonna pop out of its socket. Being well-endowed in the chesticle dept, I "arranged" and "rearranged" the girls so there would be room for all of us. Then there's the issue of my rotated pelvis. Tried my side. Even tucked a pillow between my knees. Could not get comfortable. I told myself to relax; practically commanded myself. I didn't listen. I tried the more gentle approach - Body Scan Medidation; a yoga technique my mother taught me years ago. Warmed up some chamomile. Then had to pee. Went back to bed. Finally found a comfortable position. Realized I left the bathroom light on and it was piercing my corneas. Got up. Turned off light. Went back to bed. 1:30 am - ugh!
Started deep breathing exercises and began to relax. Was very comfortable. Then the 4-Legged-Creature perked up her ears and began to growl. "Shut-up," I command. She continues to growl. Crap! Is someone outside? I halt my breathing and sit up a little to listen. But my ears seem to be ringing. The 4-legged-creature continues to act nervous. I start to freak out. I get up and walk through the house, double checking all locks, my cell phone in hand, 9-1-1 already entered and "talk" button on stand-by. I peek just beyond the curtains of the huge 8' x 6' window that stood between my safety and the outside world. I see nothing. 4-Legged-Creature is perched up at the window next to me. She barks. Something darts out of the bushes in front. I jump and gasp for air as my heart begins to rip through my chest, palpitating so strong I can feel it in my eardrums. Stupid Calico! She was barking at a Calico Cat. 1:52 am.
Stumbled back to bed. Crawled under the covers. Everything seems to fit comfortably into place. Everything is still. Just as I begin to fall asleep...Tap-Tap-Tap. What is that? I glance over at 4-Legged-Creature. She cocks her head and raises her ears. Palpitations begin again. Tap-Tap-Tap. Whistle-Tap. I sit up to "listen". I realize it is the wind, and it is blowing a branch which is tapping against the metal awning over the back patio. Exhale. Lie back down. 2:12 am.
2:15 am. Hear creaking. like someone is walking up the stairs. It's the house settling - go to sleep, I tell myself.
2:24 am. A buzzing kicks on. Just the fridge, I scold. Go to sleep.
2:39 am. Scratching sound. I sit up. A mouse? I HATE mice! Went to kitchen. Turned on light. It was a paper on the fridge, being blown by the ceiling fan, flapping against another paper. Went back to bed.
3:00 am. Turn on TV. Perhaps I can fall asleep while trying to watch a movie or something. Heaven knows it works when I try to stay up late on purpose. ("City Confidential" rerun is on. A serial killer murders three women in their homes then ties up their hands like they were lying in a coffin.) Begin to hear several "noises". Creaks, moans, groans, scratches, crackles, and finally a loud vibrating rumbling that practically makes my heart stop. I sit up, pull the blanket up to my chest, and reach for the phone on the night-stand. I look over at 4-Legged-Creature. Useless mutt! I am all alone in the house, and about to be tied up and killed for no one to find me, and all you do is lay there? But Calico Cat comes to drop a dookie in the bushes and you alert the National Guard? Oh. Ooops. It actually sounds more like a train now. Yep, it's a train. Sorry 4-Legged-creature. Good doggie. I finish the show on pins and needles. I must make sure the guy is captured or else I'll never be able to go to sleep.
4:00 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 1/2 hours of sleep, I encourage myself.
4:15 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 hours and 15 min. of sleep, I prod myself.
4:30 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 hours of sleep. I begin to cry. I just want to sleep. No more noises. Just sleep. [Crying continues]...
I am not quite sure exactly what time I fell asleep, but I know for sure that I did, because at 6:30 this morning, I woke up. The good news is, I was alive! No murderers or robbers or rapists, and no mice.
I hate this whole sleeping alone in the house thing. The Sounds of Silence keep me up way too often. [Yawning]...I need a nappy-poo. Aww, crap. Time to go to work.
I tossed and I turned. I was hot and then cold. I couldn't find a comfortable place for my shoulder to rest without feeling like my arm was gonna pop out of its socket. Being well-endowed in the chesticle dept, I "arranged" and "rearranged" the girls so there would be room for all of us. Then there's the issue of my rotated pelvis. Tried my side. Even tucked a pillow between my knees. Could not get comfortable. I told myself to relax; practically commanded myself. I didn't listen. I tried the more gentle approach - Body Scan Medidation; a yoga technique my mother taught me years ago. Warmed up some chamomile. Then had to pee. Went back to bed. Finally found a comfortable position. Realized I left the bathroom light on and it was piercing my corneas. Got up. Turned off light. Went back to bed. 1:30 am - ugh!
Started deep breathing exercises and began to relax. Was very comfortable. Then the 4-Legged-Creature perked up her ears and began to growl. "Shut-up," I command. She continues to growl. Crap! Is someone outside? I halt my breathing and sit up a little to listen. But my ears seem to be ringing. The 4-legged-creature continues to act nervous. I start to freak out. I get up and walk through the house, double checking all locks, my cell phone in hand, 9-1-1 already entered and "talk" button on stand-by. I peek just beyond the curtains of the huge 8' x 6' window that stood between my safety and the outside world. I see nothing. 4-Legged-Creature is perched up at the window next to me. She barks. Something darts out of the bushes in front. I jump and gasp for air as my heart begins to rip through my chest, palpitating so strong I can feel it in my eardrums. Stupid Calico! She was barking at a Calico Cat. 1:52 am.
Stumbled back to bed. Crawled under the covers. Everything seems to fit comfortably into place. Everything is still. Just as I begin to fall asleep...Tap-Tap-Tap. What is that? I glance over at 4-Legged-Creature. She cocks her head and raises her ears. Palpitations begin again. Tap-Tap-Tap. Whistle-Tap. I sit up to "listen". I realize it is the wind, and it is blowing a branch which is tapping against the metal awning over the back patio. Exhale. Lie back down. 2:12 am.
2:15 am. Hear creaking. like someone is walking up the stairs. It's the house settling - go to sleep, I tell myself.
2:24 am. A buzzing kicks on. Just the fridge, I scold. Go to sleep.
2:39 am. Scratching sound. I sit up. A mouse? I HATE mice! Went to kitchen. Turned on light. It was a paper on the fridge, being blown by the ceiling fan, flapping against another paper. Went back to bed.
3:00 am. Turn on TV. Perhaps I can fall asleep while trying to watch a movie or something. Heaven knows it works when I try to stay up late on purpose. ("City Confidential" rerun is on. A serial killer murders three women in their homes then ties up their hands like they were lying in a coffin.) Begin to hear several "noises". Creaks, moans, groans, scratches, crackles, and finally a loud vibrating rumbling that practically makes my heart stop. I sit up, pull the blanket up to my chest, and reach for the phone on the night-stand. I look over at 4-Legged-Creature. Useless mutt! I am all alone in the house, and about to be tied up and killed for no one to find me, and all you do is lay there? But Calico Cat comes to drop a dookie in the bushes and you alert the National Guard? Oh. Ooops. It actually sounds more like a train now. Yep, it's a train. Sorry 4-Legged-creature. Good doggie. I finish the show on pins and needles. I must make sure the guy is captured or else I'll never be able to go to sleep.
4:00 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 1/2 hours of sleep, I encourage myself.
4:15 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 hours and 15 min. of sleep, I prod myself.
4:30 am. If I fall asleep now, I will have 2 hours of sleep. I begin to cry. I just want to sleep. No more noises. Just sleep. [Crying continues]...
I am not quite sure exactly what time I fell asleep, but I know for sure that I did, because at 6:30 this morning, I woke up. The good news is, I was alive! No murderers or robbers or rapists, and no mice.
I hate this whole sleeping alone in the house thing. The Sounds of Silence keep me up way too often. [Yawning]...I need a nappy-poo. Aww, crap. Time to go to work.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Hamster Head
So, you know what a hamster looks like when he is running in the little cage wheel, right? He runs faster and faster, and yet ends up no where but right back where he started. Sometimes, I feel like there are hamsters in my head running in those wheels. I have a hard time sleeping some nights.
I can't sleep. I can't work. I'm so tired, I feel like crying. Sounds like a pathetic country song, I know. I am a little crazy when I am tired. I'm pretty sure I would be the same way if I ever got drunk. The three stages of Emma as a Direct Result of Sleep Deprivation Stage 1: I get so tired that I can't think straight. I can't complete sentences and tend to slur my words. Stage 2: I get giddy. No, not giddy - super giddy, like super-stupid-giddy. I tend to say things I normally wouldn't say like, "I love big trucks" or "I'm gonna kill you with my kisses!" I giggle like a girl at a slumber party who is stuffing wet bras in the freezer! I find that anything and everything makes me laugh. In this stage I usually begin speaking at 100 wpm. This is the stage my friends find exciting. It's a party waiting to happen. Stage 3: This is the sad stage. I start to think about all the crap that has happened in my life and I begin to feel sorry for myself (very unattractive, I'm told). The tears begin to flow, and I start to feel really alone. I just want someone to put their arms around me, hug me and tell me it's going to be ok. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night the only one around is the dog, so that's not happening. Following stage 3, just like the hamster, I am back where I started. I begin to repeat stage 1, continuing through each stage over and over again, until sleep is achieved.
When people find out that my "bedtime" lies somewhere between 2 am - 4:30 am most nights, they always ask, "Why?" as if I do it on purpose. They want to know if I am stressed or worried or excited about anything. How about Yes, Yes, and Yes! It goes back to the hamster wheel. I tend to over analyze everything!!! I have a thought, and like the hamster, just keep tossing it around in my mind. Sometimes it's stressful things like money or work. Sometimes it's stuff I worry about, like my children or siblings. And sometimes I am looking forward to things and can't stop thinking about them, like Girls' Camp, or the upcoming weekend.
"Just relax and don't think of anything - just clear your mind," someone told me recently. Wow! Now why didn't I think of that? Genius. Pure genius. Well, see that's like practically impossible for someone who has anxiety. That's why it's called anxiety. "Drink some chamomile before bedtime," someone else offered. Thanks. Now, in addition to not sleeping, I can get up and pee 10 times in the middle of the night, being sure to stub my big toe on the foot of my bed every single time! I am also told there are little purple pills that help. My neighbor tells me, "I take one of those and I have a drool patch the rest of the night." I still can't figure out if she was trying to convince me to take them or warn me not to. I am not really into the whole idea of habitually taking sleeping aids. Plus I have this whole pill-swallowing phobia. Once, when I was 16, I had some surgery done and was prescribed Tylenol 3 w/ Codeine. It was a big chalky tablet. I attempted to swallow the ant-acid looking pill, when it suddenly became lodged in my airway. It would neither go up or down. I was choking until my mother came over and slapped me on the back. Every time I try to take a pill, I can feel my throat physically begin to swell. I would rather give myself an injection every day (which I already do) then swallow a horse pill.
Anyway...so back to the Sleepless in the Suburbs problem. My friend suggested a non-habit forming OTC drug that is in the form of a teeny, tiny, little gelcap. Nice. Finally some sound advice. I may just give it a try.
Just beware, that if I seem a little out of the ordinary, slurring my words, ranting non-sensible phrases like, "I like my Peeps hard", or crying without cause...I am not drunk! I am just tired!
I can't sleep. I can't work. I'm so tired, I feel like crying. Sounds like a pathetic country song, I know. I am a little crazy when I am tired. I'm pretty sure I would be the same way if I ever got drunk. The three stages of Emma as a Direct Result of Sleep Deprivation Stage 1: I get so tired that I can't think straight. I can't complete sentences and tend to slur my words. Stage 2: I get giddy. No, not giddy - super giddy, like super-stupid-giddy. I tend to say things I normally wouldn't say like, "I love big trucks" or "I'm gonna kill you with my kisses!" I giggle like a girl at a slumber party who is stuffing wet bras in the freezer! I find that anything and everything makes me laugh. In this stage I usually begin speaking at 100 wpm. This is the stage my friends find exciting. It's a party waiting to happen. Stage 3: This is the sad stage. I start to think about all the crap that has happened in my life and I begin to feel sorry for myself (very unattractive, I'm told). The tears begin to flow, and I start to feel really alone. I just want someone to put their arms around me, hug me and tell me it's going to be ok. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night the only one around is the dog, so that's not happening. Following stage 3, just like the hamster, I am back where I started. I begin to repeat stage 1, continuing through each stage over and over again, until sleep is achieved.
When people find out that my "bedtime" lies somewhere between 2 am - 4:30 am most nights, they always ask, "Why?" as if I do it on purpose. They want to know if I am stressed or worried or excited about anything. How about Yes, Yes, and Yes! It goes back to the hamster wheel. I tend to over analyze everything!!! I have a thought, and like the hamster, just keep tossing it around in my mind. Sometimes it's stressful things like money or work. Sometimes it's stuff I worry about, like my children or siblings. And sometimes I am looking forward to things and can't stop thinking about them, like Girls' Camp, or the upcoming weekend.
"Just relax and don't think of anything - just clear your mind," someone told me recently. Wow! Now why didn't I think of that? Genius. Pure genius. Well, see that's like practically impossible for someone who has anxiety. That's why it's called anxiety. "Drink some chamomile before bedtime," someone else offered. Thanks. Now, in addition to not sleeping, I can get up and pee 10 times in the middle of the night, being sure to stub my big toe on the foot of my bed every single time! I am also told there are little purple pills that help. My neighbor tells me, "I take one of those and I have a drool patch the rest of the night." I still can't figure out if she was trying to convince me to take them or warn me not to. I am not really into the whole idea of habitually taking sleeping aids. Plus I have this whole pill-swallowing phobia. Once, when I was 16, I had some surgery done and was prescribed Tylenol 3 w/ Codeine. It was a big chalky tablet. I attempted to swallow the ant-acid looking pill, when it suddenly became lodged in my airway. It would neither go up or down. I was choking until my mother came over and slapped me on the back. Every time I try to take a pill, I can feel my throat physically begin to swell. I would rather give myself an injection every day (which I already do) then swallow a horse pill.
Anyway...so back to the Sleepless in the Suburbs problem. My friend suggested a non-habit forming OTC drug that is in the form of a teeny, tiny, little gelcap. Nice. Finally some sound advice. I may just give it a try.
Just beware, that if I seem a little out of the ordinary, slurring my words, ranting non-sensible phrases like, "I like my Peeps hard", or crying without cause...I am not drunk! I am just tired!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)