Apparently, I'm a Cruise Director

Recently I attended a 3-day conference.  There were going to be tons of people there; tons of single people around my age that I didn't know.  The mere thought of it gave me anxiety.  Meeting new people...  [Gulp] SCAAAARY.

I remember when I first went to an event for singles.  It was this past January.  It was a religion class (for mid-singles, ages 31-45) held at a church, with a mixer afterwards.  I thought that a religion class sounded "safe" - like a "nice" place to meet "nice" and "safe" singles with similar beliefs, expectations, and goals.  I drove to the church.  I got to the parking lot.  I sat there, looking around at others emerging from their vehicles, entering the building together.  I kept thinking they already have friends; who is going to talk to me?  So -- I panicked and drove home.

A few days later I got a Facebook e-vite about a mid-singles choir that would be rehearsing following the religion class.  They would be singing for an upcoming Sunday Fireside.  I thought to myself, "Ok... I sing.  I guess I could do that."  Once again, I drove to the church for the religion class.  I made myself get out of the car and I walked into the building.  Many people seemed to already be in little groups. I panicked, kept my head down and I walked through the crowd, through the building, out the other side and back around to my car.  I sat there until it was time for the choir rehearsal to start.  For the next 8 weeks, I only went to the rehearsal.  Slowly, I began to make friends. Then I finally got brave to start attending the class, even though I usually sat by myself near the back.  I quickly learned that I loved the class, even if I didn't socialize much afterwards.  The mid-week inspiration was something I needed to help me get through my week.  All of a sudden I loved going, and I even started attending the mixers [briefly] afterwards.

Then one night, someone approached me about attending a dinner group for that weekend.  I decided to go for it. So, I met 15 other people around my age and we ate, we talked, we played games and I truly had fun.  I told some of them they should start coming to the religion class.  The next week, many of them showed up.

A new girl came and ended up sitting right in front of me during the class.  I could tell by her nervous glances around the room this was her first time.  I had a pretty good idea what she was thinking.  So, after the class I leaned forward and introduced myself to her.  She stayed by my side during the mixer as I introduced her to all of my other new friends.  She remarked how I seemed to know "Everyone"; I thought that was ironic.

A few weeks later I signed up for a day trip activity with the singles group.  I volunteered to be one of the drivers.  I figured, if I drove I could always be busy "concentrating" on the road and therefore not feel left out if no one talked to me.  When the cars met up at the diner to eat, I introduced my car-load to a few others I happened to know.  Then the following Wednesday, I introduced those new friends to my other new friends.  And that is typically how it's been since --I introduce myself to new people, especially if they are standing alone, and because I don't want them to feel like I did, I introduce them to everyone else I know.

Anyway - fast forward to this conference a few weeks ago.  I met lots more new people during this seminar or that workshop or this dinner, and I made several more introductions.  I skipped the final Saturday workshop to find some Excedrin at the nearby Target.  When I got back the workshop wasn't quite over.  I noticed a few people hanging out in the gym, so I went in there.  I talked to a few of the guys and they were preparing for a gaming session that was next on the agenda.  They were short one person and asked if I would help.  I jumped on that.  If I had a task, I could be busy with that and not feel left out.  As the different groups came in and out of my game, I met lots more people and later that night at the dinner, karaoke and dance, I introduced many of them to many others.

The Sunday evening, following the Fireside, there were refreshments.  2 girls I had met the previous day stopped me to ask me a question about the conference. When I gave them the answer the one said to the other, "We knew someone in charge would know!"  As they walked away, I had to laugh to myself.  I was not in charge of ANYTHING during the conference.  Why would they think that?

I walked over to some of my friends and mentioned how those girls mistook me for someone in charge.  One of my friends laughed and said, "Yeah -- we've been watching you.  You just gracefully move from one group of people to the other, making sure everyone knows each other; plus you helped with that game."  I shrugged, supposing that made sense.

When I told my sister about that last week she said, "So, you were like the cruise director; making sure everyone was having fun and no one was left out."

Later that night I attended a party where I didn't really know anyone.  I knew OF 2 of the girls there, but didn't really KNOW them.  So, I took a deep breath, shoved my anxiety down into the depths of my chest and walked up to someone standing alone and struck up a conversation.  As soon as I began to talk to her, I heard my sister's words in my head...  "cruise director".  

I don't know why I think "I" need to be the self-appointed cruise director.  I mean, really - who do I think I am?

Luckily a few more friends showed up and I could relax and just hang out like "normal" people the rest of the evening.