I do not subscribe to the theory which suggests my existence is some sort of cosmic coincidence. I believe we all have purpose.
But more than just gaining a physical body and being tested and tried and growing and learning - I believe that I have a specific purpose. While I am not yet sure what that purpose might be, I have days, or sometimes just mere moments, in which I have this overwhelming feeling that there is more for me to do and more for me to be, and that that "more" is Something Important. Sometimes, like today, that feeling just pulls at me.
Often when I've made a specific choice to do something big, like get remarried or finish school, and have peace in my mind and in my heart about that choice, I feel like it's because it's part of something bigger, something greater which I have yet to unveil; like the Something Important is giving me its nod of approval. And sometimes I think, hmm, maybe doing this thing or that is a stepping stone, or perhaps even The Stepping Stone, setting in motion the Something Important. In spite of all of my shortcomings or spells of laziness from time to time, the Something Important seems to draw just enough curiosity and ambition to carry on.
Often times, as I contemplate the Something Important, I wonder if others too have felt that same pull. I think about the apocryphal tale, "I cannot tell a lie", and wonder if George Washington, at age 6, had any inclination of his Something Important as he tearfully confessed to hacking his father's beloved cherry tree to death. I consider Mother Teresa and wonder about the state of her heart and her mind between the very young age of 8, when her father died, and the age of 12, when she decided she wanted to devote her life to her new found religion. Had she already known her Something Important?
I also reflect on the Not-So-Greats (by the world's standards), such as my massage therapist, my piano instructors, or my high school Biology teacher. Did they feel they discovered their Something Important? After all, they've made, and continue to make a difference in my life.
I'm not sure if one ever fully realizes their Something Important until they've arrived, and perhaps not even then. While I occasionally muse over these things, I try not to exhaust too much time or energy wondering what my Something Important might be, or worrying if I'll ever figure it out.
I believe that by continually working towards that big thing, whatever it is, I am learning to navigate through the ebb and flow of my life, and hopefully better myself (and maybe even impact a few others) along the way.
I am grateful for the knowledge that God has a plan for me and I am grateful for the pull I feel towards Something Important. In fact, I think I would feel a bit empty without it.