Saturday, March 31, 2012


As previously mentioned I saw The Hunger Games in the theater.  I was invited to a special pre-screening event by E-man and we doubled with some of his friends.  It was way fun and you'd think that would be the most memorable event of that day, right?   Well...not exactly.

So, after the movie, I herd into the Ladies' Room with a bunch of other movie-goers while the rest of my posse waits in the hall.  I go in, find an "acceptable" stall, and do my business.  I also happen to be wearing a bracelet containing several charms on it.  Picture this...

I'm finished with my business and when I'm pulling myself back together, one of the little silver rings connecting a charm to my bracelet snags on the waist-band of my underwear and starts hanging on for dear life. Here I am standing in the stall, and my right hand is stuck to ma'undies while my jeans are still hovering around my hips; like a flight circling until cleared for landing.  As much as I tried, that tiny little silver ring would not let loose.  I debated just yanking my wrist free, but decided against it, realizing it would probably send beads and charms all over the floor, making quite the mess.  The last thing I wanted to do was crawl all over the floor of a public restroom retrieving beads.  I knew my best bet was leaving the bracelet attached to the waistband and instead figure out how to free my wrist.

The problem was the clasp to this bracelet was not conveniently located so my (non-dominant) left hand could easily negotiate my wrist to freedom.  I tried to figure out exactly where the clasp was, except -- I'm not gonna lie -- one of the Double Dangs was impairing my view. Figures.

As I continue, blindly and desperately feeling for the clasp I feel my jeans start to slip a little lower from my hips.  The last thing I wanted was for them to end up around my ankles...  Visions of me falling flat on my face from having to bend that far over with one hand attached at my waist started to taunt me.  What's that thing about objects in motion?  As a preventative measure I had to widen my stance a bit; lock those knees.

At this point I think to myself, "What if I can't get myself unstuck?  They are probably all standing out in the hallway wondering what's taking me so long, and I'm fairly certain a maniacal shout out for help will  rule out future dates with E-man.  I think about calling him and asking him to send the other girl from our group to come and help.  But my phone is in my purse hanging on the courtesy hook in the stall, and I can barely stand up tall enough to dig in and fish it out, being that I'm hunched over trapped by the mocking waistband and all.  I also figured that if I unlocked my knees long enough to stand on my tippy-toes, my jeans would definitely take a nose-dive to the ground.

So, yes...  there I am in the stall, my right hand stuck to my drawers, my legs spread out to keep my jeans from falling, my left-hand blindly searching for freedom, my chin trying to hold back the Double-Dang Twins for even the slightest chance of glimpsing that clasp, and I do what I assume most others in my predicament  would.  I begin to laugh hysterically - so much so that my eyes are welled up with tears and even if one of the Twins weren't in the way, my vision was blurred by this point anyway.  The realization that others outside the stall might hear me laughing made me laugh even harder.

After what feels like an eternity, I located the clasp and after about three tries was able to set myself free.  I left the bracelet dangling on my undies and proceeded with the routine of zipping up and washing up.  Unfortunately, the inquisitive looks from the audience waiting outside the stall were ones I was all-too familiar with; something that just seems to go along with being Emma.

When I finally emerge from the restroom and see the group, I bust up laughing all over again.  I pull E-man into a semi-lit doorway of another theater, pull the waist-band up above my jeans to reveal the dangling jewels.  I ask if he can help.  I would've/could've probably waited until I got home, except that I really do love this bracelet and I worried that being pressed underneath my jeans would entangle it even further.

As expected, he laughs a little at me, but thankfully is able to set the bracelet free and we are finally on our way.

And that, my dear readers, is just another day in Paradise when you live in my world.  The End.


okeydokeyifine said...

Quite the circumstance to laugh at onesself and not care. Another story worth repeating for many years to come, I am sure. Of course it reminded me of Aunt Glenda and Canada and our laughing fit and ladies staring...good times.

KiennaP said...

haha, u got a bracelet stuck to your undies!! haha!

Michelle said...

Ha! I wish I was one of those people in the restroom listening to you laugh. They also had a good story to tell their dates in the hallway.

The Willeyes said...

Oh, I wish I was there! You are so funny...never a dull moment with you :)