Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Bald Woman

I'm almost reluctant to post this because I know that somewhere out there one of you is going to love never letting me live this down. Don't worry. I said "Almost reluctant." Of course I am going to post this. What's the point of having humiliating experiences if I can't blog about them and share them with the world so you can all laugh at with me?

So, it went down like this...

I am at the store in the health & beauty section. Time to pick up new toothbrushes for the kidlets. There was a recent "fight" over someone accusing someone else of using their toothbrush and then no one wanted to brush their teeth for fear of getting "kooties". And one of my rules is that teeth-brushing is not optional. It was time for new toothbrushes anyway. But I digress. Back to the post at hand.

I am in the Health & Beauty aisle and on the end cap there are the "clearance" items. I see a box of Dr. Gro or Mr. Gro or something like that. Granted, it was on clearance. Normally, I wouldn't waste time or money on a product that had such an underwhelming effect that it was being marked down and "closed out" to get the inventory off their books. But it was only $4.00!

A few of you may remember that once upon a time in my pre-surgery days I was on Lupron Depot with add-back (selective hormone) therapy. Let me tell you that there are some serious side effects to this powerful drug.

Migraines. Blood Clotting. Stroke. Depression. Fluid retention. Asthma or worsening of asthma. Vaginal dryness. Hair loss. Dry skin. Thinning of nails. Bone thinning. Forgetfulness. Hot flashes. Weight gain. Panic disorder. Anxiety.

On top of all of that, one must not be on any type of prescription birth control during the treatment, and yet because it causes serious birth defects, one must not risk getting pregnant while on it. The treatment lasts 6 months at a time. Sounds like a real party, eh?

Notice, it also sounds a bit like Menopausal symptoms? Yeah, in order to "kill" off the disease, they "starve" it of the hormones that produce the disease. So, basically they were medically inducing a mini-menopause. Quite frankly, even though I finally had the surgery and am all better, some of those side effects are still present. I don't feel like I've ever been the same since being on the Lupron injections... just sayin'.

Out of the 11 side effect that I myself suffered, HAIR LOSS was one of them. I get self-conscious about my hair, because after the treatment it never grew back. The thinning is front and center too. I've tried a few hair therapy shampoos and scalp creams, etc. But they are verrrrrry expensive. So, when I saw $4.00, I was like "w00t!" and bought myself some.

The instructions say to use a "few drops" on the affected areas, on wet or dry hair and massage into scalp. So, the other morning, I thought, I will just use it as soon as I get out of the shower. I did what it said. I put a few drops on the areas I felt my hair was thinning the most. I massaged the scalp. I then proceeded to "style as usual".

After blow-drying my hair, I take a look in the mirror and am horrified. I felt like an old man who had just put an entire handful of pomade in his hair. It looked GREASY and GROSS! I was all, "Noooooooo!" My plan was to curl my hair. I didn't have time for a re-wash. I tried blow drying a little more. Nothing doing.

At this point I feel frantic. There is no way I can go to work like this. And I am thinking they will not like it if I show up in a baseball cap either. I saw the container of baby powder out of the corner of my eye. I remember hearing how older generations used to use something called talc powder or talcum powder or something like that (too lazy to google it) when they had oily hair. This allowed them to go an entire week without washing their hair.

Even though I find that a bit disgusting, I am desperate. So, I shake some of the baby powder on my hands and sort of toss it through my hair. Now, because I have dark hair, I had to brush it through so it didn't all of a sudden look like I went from oily-to-gray! I check the mirror and am relieved -- it's working! There are still a few more oily spots, so without thinking I grabbed the powder again and shake it straight onto my head.

Problem. Ummm... yeah, TONS came out. Now I was sporting the Corpse Bride look with white-ish hair. I quickly do a flip of my hair, bend over furiously brushing out my hair. I recheck the mirror. Other than a few white clumps hanging out in the "part" it looks good actually. I flick those out and start to style.

Granted. My hair FELT awful. But guess what!?!?!?! It actually looked FREAKIN AWESOME! My hair never looked so full in a long time. And the curl even held!

So, will I use this product again? Probably. However, I think I will only use two drops TOTAL. Not 2 drops on "each affected area". I probably won't be able to tell for a few more weeks if the cheap stuff is actually working. But for $4, it's definitely worth a shot.

In the meantime, I am going to make sure I always have a supply of baby powder on hand. :)


Venom said...

I can just see you doing the funky chicken in that bathroom with all the powder in your hair. I'm sure it felt pretty gross, but the fact that it looked great can cels that out so long as nobody else touches it - and if someone at work is touching your hair, you've got bigger problems.

Ruthykins said...

nice. i'm glad it all worked out in the end. by the way, i've never noticed your hair being thinner than it used to be.

Susie said...

Oh my gosh!! I can feel how frantic you were! I would have freaked out. My hair is the one thing I spend money on and I would have been late for work before going out like that! Good for you to work through it.

Charlotte said...

I actually use baby powder on my hair quite often. I like to try and wash it only every other day so it doesn't get so dried out, but my bangs get greasy lots faster than the rest of my hair. Baby powder to the rescue! I've tried dry shampoo but it really doesn't work in my dark hair. Also, if you are in a big hurry, a little dry face powder foundation when you are doing the rest of your makeup will work wonders.

The Willeyes said...

I can just picture this dance in your bathroom:) Hope it works!

Puphigirl said...

one of my students uses baby powder in her hair so the she doesn't have to wash it every day.