Resolution-Schmesolution

One thing I HATE about New Year's Day is this unyielding pressure to come up with a New Year Resolution. I mean, think about it... we all get sucked in at some point. We make this ginormous resolution and set the bar so high, that no matter how tall we walk or how high we jump, we ain't ever gonna reach it. Yes. I know... I said "ain't". Get over it. I'm in a mood.

Anyway, the word "resolution" comes from the base word "resolve", as Tulsi reminded me. And when we are "resolved" to do something, we are determined to do it; we have come to a definite, earnest decision about it. There is nothing that should stop us in making that commitment. Think about that in regards to the plethora of resolutions you've made over the years. How many were just items on your "This Sounds Like the Perfect Solution" resolution checklist? And how many of those goals did you actually achieve? If you're anything like me -- or like the rest of the world, for that matter -- probably less than 1%.

That being said, I have decided that this year I will only make resolutions I KNOW I can keep.

1 - No more lying in bed, eating snacks while watching movies. Nope. From now on I shall sit up while eating in bed.

2 - No more sighing loudly or muttering words of disdainment under my breath every time a coworker of mine isn't doing the job he is getting paid to do. Nope. From now on, a simple, yet quiet rolling-of-the-eyes-behind-his-back should suffice.

3 - I will no longer make middle-of-the-night drive-thru runs to McDonalds for a $1 diet coke to get me through my studies. Nu-uh... From now on I will wait until the cases of diet coke are on sale and buy them in bulk. Think of the savings!!! Woo-hoo!

4 - This year, I will not allow my grass to get so tall that it looks like a jungle before I get around to mowing it. Nope. Instead, I just won't water it.

5 - I will not let the dirty dishes pile up in the sink. I will enforce a strict "dine on paper products only" policy until I am done with school.

6 - I will not use sarcasm when dealing with plebs as a means to circumvent anger. No, instead, I will use sarcasm in addition to the anger.

7 - I will do more charity work without expecting anything in return. I am bound to get stuck past 5 pm at the office anyway, and surely won't see an extra dime.

8 - I will commit to working with neglected children on a regular basis -- MINE!

9 - I resolve to make more friends... on Facebook.

10 - This coming year I resolve to be more of a team player. I will tell you when you are annoying me.

11 - I will stop flirting with the young male vendors that come into my office... I will only flirt with the ones closer to my age.

12 - I will stop buying that one thing that I secretly have an obsession for, which I buy every time I see it. No, I will not buy that one thing... Instead I will buy MANY of them! lol!

13 - I will try not to talk on the phone as much. Besides, Skyping doesn't use my cell minutes.

14 - I will not waste time reading books that are not advantageous to me. Instead, I will take my open-book quizzes using the index and glossary as my guide.

15 - I will not let the grays in my hair bother me anymore. I will start coloring my hair.

16 - I will not pay someone to do a job that I could do myself... (Keeping in mind that child-slave-labor at my house is free!)

17 - I will no longer update my Facebook status with innuendos that could invoke raised eyebrows and tongue clucking... Instead, I will just be more straight forward.

18 - I will no longer get a headache trying to balance my checkbook. I'll just stop trying to balance the checkbook! lol!

19 - I will stop trying to use my looks to get out of the things I don't want to do. Besides, with my wit & charm, who needs looks?

20 - I will engage in more aerobic activities on a weekly basis, in an attempt to live a more active lifestyle. Big-D... what are you doing Friday night? What about for the next 52 Friday nights? hehehe...

What about you? What do YOU resolve to do in 2010???

And remember...

"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution." - Jay Leno