Not Me Monday

It's that time once again... Monday. So, here are all of the things I did NOT do or say this past week.

I did NOT take a day off of work last week, in which I did NOT throw out my proposed to-do list and instead decide to abide by NO schedule that day. No, I did NOT. I did NOT go to the gym and have my best workout yet and I did NOT go home and soak in the tub for at least an hour and two of my children did NOT slave away cleaning the basement and washing laundry. No, they did NOT. I did NOT then proceed to take my daughter with me for lunch and we did NOT buy her a much-needed swimsuit for which we were NOT grateful there was at least one store that still had modest ones left in her size and in our price range ($13...thanks, Kohls!). I did NOT take dinner over to BIG-D and give him a hug for just a sec before running off to meet OfficeGirl at the temple for an evening session. I was NOT so totally relaxed at the end of the day that I did NOT wish I could just be an at-home-mom and I did NOT declare that working a DESK-JOB just isn't for me.

I did NOT try to implement the "love experiment" (click here) daily this week and did NOT once again see the impact it has in my life. I do NOT feel happier because of it. I do NOT enjoy feeling such happiness and find that smiling actually works wonders.

I did NOT have SL Bees tickets for Friday night and invite Big-D. We did NOT get there just in time for the winds to pick up and for a storm to roll through. We did NOT use the opportunity to eat our ballpark franks and hover and cuddle to stay dry and warm while waiting for the storm to pass. While waiting for just over an hour we did NOT get some great "people-watching" time in, and we did NOT see some strange hair-do's (was he trying to look like a rooster with that bright red mohawk?) and some drunk bimbos make fools of themselves. We also did NOT make up dialogue for the stern-looking couple standing a ways behind us. And that dialogue was NOT like, her: Don't even THINK of touching me! him: Trust me. I wouldn't DREAM of it, Ice Princess. her: Don't think you're getting any tonight either! him: Oh - like that would be a change??? I did NOT do the wife's voice and Big-D did NOT do the husband's and we did NOT laugh about it and how funny we thought we were. Nope...we certainly did NOT. The weather did NOT finally clear and the game did NOT resume and the players were NOT totally off their game and losing, and around 10pm, while we were at the bottom of the 5th, I did NOT decide I was too cold and we did NOT leave and head home. Even though the game was "eh" we did NOT totally have fun anyway.

Saturday I was NOT invited by OfficeGirl and Blondie to join them for an afternoon Matinee of "The Proposal." I did NOT totally enjoy the movie and did NOT cry during any of the previews and I most certainly did NOT cry throughout the entire movie!!! And Blondie did NOT have to hand me the Kleenex from her purse. Nope... I am NOT that sappy or emotional.

Then Saturday night I did NOT make a quick run over to HatDude's wedding reception/BBQ (remember him???) and I did NOT start to have a slight anxiety attack as he was NOT the only one there I knew. I did NOT give him a great big hug and tell him I was so totally happy for him, and was NOT a wee bit grateful I had to get back home as I did NOT have to check on my sick child (who was staying with the other parental unit) and also cuz my oldest was NOT planning to have friends over.

Once determined that the other parental unit was keeping said sick child overnight, I then did NOT visit with my neighbor, Desperate Housewife as I haven't gotten to see her in ForFreakingEver, as she has NOT been playing in San Diego and NOT been spending time with her cousin this summer. We (er, um, mostly me) did NOT catch her up on the ever-unfolding-drama-of-my-life and I did NOT talk so much that said oldest child and friends did NOT sneak out of the house and go TPing...

I did NOT notice come Sunday morning that 2 rolls of Toilet Paper were gone. I did NOT ask FunnyMan, "Do you know what happened to two rolls of toilet paper?" To which he did NOT respond, "um...no?" Which did not lead me to ask, point blank, "Did you go TPing last night?" To which he couldn't lie and replied, "Um...yes?" I did NOT scold him and say, "Next time you need to ask me permission first! I MUST ok the "victim" and I MUST know your whereabouts... There MUST be order to the disorder, or you will be ordered not to do anymore... and that's an order!" I do NOT think he was surprised that I did NOT notice the missing toilet paper. I was NOT like - Hello! McFly! We are NOT on a budget in this house and I am NOT like the keenest Mom ever and I do NOT know all and see all....Bwahahahahaha...[evil laugh]... No. I certainly do NOT.

And finally, just before posting this Not Me Monday post, I did NOT get a middle-of-the-night phone call from a teenage girl whom I used to teach when I worked with the young women at church. She did NOT tell me that she was in trouble and "stuck" in downtown Salt Lake and needed me to come and get her. I did NOT tell her once upon a time - about a year ago - when she was going through crap that if she ever needed me to come and get her, to call. Tonight was NOT that call, and luckily, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I did NOT freak out a little at first, and send an SOS out to Big-D (since he owns a gun) -- but figured he was sleeping, and therefore did NOT run over and grab Desperate Housewife (along with her pepper spray) and we did NOT make our way to the "bad" part of downtown SLC in the middle of the night. No, we certainly did NOT. On the way there, Big-D did NOT call me back and ask what was going on. He then did NOT give me instructions on how to case-out the joint and what things to look for BEFORE pulling over and picking her up. And he does NOT know all of this stuff as he did NOT used to be a private invesitigator... nope, he was NOT. Which just thinking about does NOT make him so much more totally HOT... er...oops...back to the story. Anyway, when we arrived, we did NOT notice a man sitting on a nearby bench and he did NOT have his hands down his pants, and he was NOT rocking back and forth and he did NOT continue looking at us as Desperate Housewife got her pepper spray cocked and ready to fire. After securing said victim resucing the teenage girl, I did NOT proceed to talk to her and question her as to determine from her speech the state of mind she was in. I was NOT relieved to find that she was sober and safe, though a little misguided. We did NOT deliver her home safely and wait until she got inside. I then did NOT proceed to drop off Desperate Housewife, and though happy that we didn't have to use the pepper spray, I am NOT also just slightly disappointed...hehehe. I then did NOT call Big-D back and tell him I made it home alive and all is well.

So.....what did you NOT do this week?