Monday, June 1, 2009

Not Me Monday

It's Monday, so once again I am going to share all of the things I did NOT do this past week.

I did NOT have a relaxing Memorial Day, and instead of spending time on multiple get-things-done-around-the-house-to-do lists, I did NOT hang out with Big-D. He did NOT get his condo ready for a showing. Then we did NOT go and buy him some jeans as he did NOT rip his favorite pair. This encounter did NOT lead to a riveting conversation about what constitutes jeans as being a "favorite" pair. I did NOT ask, "Those are your favorite pair of jeans?" To which he did not reply, "Yep." Which then did NOT cause me to say, "Hmmm. I guess men select their favorite pair of jeans by how comfortable they are." Big-D did NOT simply say, "yep." I did NOT let out a little evil laugh and probe, "Do you know how women select their favorite jeans?" To which Big-D did NOT say, "By how good they make their arse look?" I did NOT laugh while nodding my head, and he certainly did NOT gimme that Big-D Smirk, roll his eyes, and shake his head; nope he certainly did NOT.

I was NOT glad it was a "short week" at work and I was NOT hopeful that it would be a calm, quiet and easy-going week, and I was certainly NOT disappointed that it actually was one stressful and busy week instead. But I guess I should NOT be grateful that we are busy and still have jobs verses the alternative. I also did NOT enjoy our little company party, in which they rented out a theater and gave us all tickets to see Night At the Musuem II, and the tickets did NOT include $5 gift cards for refreshments, and they did NOT have extra tickets and did NOT tell us we could invite Family/Friends/Clients. Therefore, I did NOT invite the family that took us to Disneyland and a few other tag-alongs. We did NOT have fun - and all for the cost of our gas to get us there!

I did NOT reunite with an old friend on Facebook and have fun sending emails back and forth. I also did NOT give into the Facebook "peer pressure" and create one of those "how well do you know Emma" quizzes, and I did NOT enjoy reading how well everyone knew me or what they thought I did NOT do. I also did NOT do a "Facebook Clean-up" and "de-friend" those I don't really know, or who leave me rude or un-welcomed comments or those who also know [the man formerly known as my husband] as I do NOT intend to use Facebook as a forum for venting every now and again, because that is just NOT how I roll; I do NOT over-share; nope not me.

I did NOT only make it to the gym twice as my week was NOT super-super busy, and I certainly do NOT feel the effects of missing out.

My oldest son did NOT have 9th grade graduation (which was so NOT weird for me, because technically, he is NOT already in high school, but they do NOT do weird things here in UT, such as having Freshman NOT stay in Jr. High). I did NOT complain about going, and I did NOT say, "Ugh...I don't really wanna's just one more thing - let's see if you make it out of high school first and THEN we'll celebrate." No, I did NOT say that. Of course, my son knew that I was NOT going to go anyway, and I was NOT only half-way kidding, and that I really only did NOT say that cuz I was just so totally tired. While at the graduation I did NOT sit by my neighbors, and we did NOT laugh at some of the crazy things/people we saw. They did NOT have too many speakers, the gym was NOT stuffy and hot and the lady in front of us did NOT have on so much perfume that we did NOT feel like choking and it certainly did NOT trigger a migraine. The choir did NOT sing two-too-many songs, one of which had nothing to do with "graduation" and the choir director did NOT feel that graduation was the perfect time to "spotlight" students who had never had a solo throughout the year. Hearing those soloists sing their parts did NOT make me uncomfortable for them, as they were NOT nervous, they did NOT have shaky voices, they were NOT off-pitch and it was NOT obvious why they had never had solos before. The crowd was NOT polite in clapping anyway. The choir director was NOT smart in saving the best soloist for last, which was NOT my son, who did NOT already have several solos throughout the year, but who was NOT so totally awesome that she had no choice but to let him sing. The audience, and most of the kids were NOT totally impressed by his voice and I did NOT feel like standing up shouting, "yep! that's my kid!"

After the little "graduation" we did NOT go over to the Friend-Girl's house for a little mini-celebration with all of their friends and parents. We did NOT sit around and chat and have a good time. It was also NOT revealed to the Friend-Girl's mother that I did NOT take the kids T.P.-ing earlier this year. I did NOT totally act like I knew nothing about the situation, and the kids then did NOT continue to tell the other parents I hadn't met before about some of the other shenanigans I've pulled like NOT taking them on a Wal-Mart scavenger hunt to find Enemas and Liver Cheese and NOT ordering Ice Cream in a British accent while at the McDonald's Drive-Thru, and NOT quoting movie-lines from the ever-so-funny-nonetheless-mildly-inappropriate-teenage movie Juno. I did NOT somehow feel like the "rebel" of this parental-units-group.

PartyGirl and I did NOT go to dinner with Desperate Housewife, cuz she did NOT totally wanna have a pity party complete with food and shopping. We totally did NOT have a blast, the food was NOT good, and I did NOT ask one of the managers if he could carry me out to my car because I was sooooooo stuffed that I didn't think I could make it on my own. He did NOT turn a bright shade of red and give a sarcastic reply before walking away laughing. I still do NOT think it is totally his fault, as he was NOT the one that asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you ladies?" We did NOT have a chuckle over that.

I also did NOT ponder some ideas for my oldest son's 15th birthday which is coming up in like 9 days. and I do NOT have a little extra time to plan, as he will NOT be with the jazz band on their trip to California for Disneyland/6 Flags, the beach, etc. I am NOT currently thinking up something to do with a graveyard, and am NOT worried how to pull this off and not get kicked out of the graveyard. Hmmm.....I am NOT going for something totally unconventional for his party because I am NOT short on cash and I do NOT want to also make it fun and memorable. I am sure once I figure it all out, I will NOT be blogging about it.

So...what did you NOT do this week?


Anonymous said...

Aw, you sound like you had an awesome week!!!

Debbi said...

*shakes head at Big D* Oh, D, if only you knew how important a good pair of arse jeans are! ;)

Glad you had a good week! YAY!

Puphigirl said...

I did NOT get sick and have NOT almost lost my voice.

Cassie the Sassie Lassie said...

I did NOT get a canker sore in my mouth, and it does NOT hurt when i talk or chew, and we are NOT learning about the repro. system in science, which is totally NOT embarrassing, seeing as I do NOT sit on the 'boys' side of the room.

Vickie said...

I did NOT have heartburn all weekend long!

I used to own a pair of arse jeans. Then I gained weight and I realized I would never wear then again. I gave them to the Salvation Army.

It sounds like you had a busy but fun week:)

Tulsi said...

I did NOT kick my daughter out at BYU for a week of "hopefully!!!!" fun and learning and enjoyed it. She is 15 and does NOT act like she knows everything while wanting me to be her security blanked for the first few minutes of something new.

TravAndToni said...

I did NOT join you for a fun movie with the "Group" of teenagers. I also did NOT whisper "SHHHH!" at them at least a dozen times while they were NOT talking to each other in the middle of the movie.

I did NOT crack up at your kid's new song about old people NOT being naughty - which he is NOT going to credit the band's guitarist for NOT writing so as to NOT tarnish his own sweet boy image! (It really is quite funny, though, I have to admit!)

I did NOT go golfing for the very first time yesterday, and I am NOT sore today because of it. I do NOT think it's possibly the silliest sport ever invented.

I did NOT enjoy your post!

Era said...

congrats on your son's graduation and excellent solo!

This week I did not skip out on going to the gym altogether. I did not hang my head in shame about it and say "bad girl".

purplehaze said...

Sounds like you did NOT have a good week!