If you've ever visited My Charming Kids (click here) you know she does "Not Me Mondays" on her blog. Today I thought I'd play along and tell you all of the things I did NOT do last week.
I did NOT get all giddy over the "substitute" FedEx guy; which did NOT remind me of the good ol' "Bend and Snap" from Legally Blonde.
I did NOT workout 5 days, I did NOT feel sore afterwards, I did NOT improve my time and I did NOT get all emotional and cry over it.
I did NOT confess to an old childhood flame that I did NOT post his first love note on my blog recently, thereby NOT embarrassing myself or him.
I did NOT meet new friends in places such as the Train Station, El Matador nor Pleasant Grove for board games which I did NOT win. I did NOT enjoy myself and have a good time, and I certainly did NOT try to flirt.
I did NOT create a ruckus on Facebook by NOT posting slightly intriguing status updates. I also did NOT say anything slightly naughty. And I certainly did NOT stay up until 3:30am chatting with a friend from back home, with whom I also did NOT flirt. We did NOT exchange phone numbers for later texting purposes.
I did NOT embarrass my off-spring's friends by calling him "off-spring" in front of them. I did NOT use the words "period" or "uterus" in front of his friend just to get him to leave the room so I could finish my adult conversation with my sister. And I certainly did NOT post a saucy comment on the Friend-Girl's blog regarding their first hug! [Which was so NOT awkward for me as they did NOT do it right in front of me!]
I did NOT give my teenager advice for the next time he does NOT get caught falling asleep in his geography class by NOT telling him to sit up and say, "Amen". And I certainly did NOT embarrass my daughter when I picked her up from school by singing loudly to Jason Mraz.
I did NOT go to my sister's house for Easter and I did NOT eat like a pig! We did NOT talk a lot and we certainly did NOT laugh over pee-your-pants funny stuff!
I did NOT get into it with some dude who shall NOT remain nameless, who's name does NOT start with a "P" and does NOT end with an "-eter". And I did NOT think he was a jerk because he did NOT tell me that I was a player and a tease and I was just using men for fun. No. He did NOT tell me that. Just like I did NOT tell him that he doesn't know me or my thoughts or my heart well enough to make such accusations. And furthermore I did NOT tell him that he doesn't know what he is talking about since he is not me and he isn't the one I pray to for guidance and answers. I also did NOT educate him on the fact that it is NOT called dating and that single people everywhere do NOT do it. I did NOT post about his jerkiness on Facebook and I did NOT tell other friends about him. And I still do NOT think he is a jerk.
I did NOT miss Big-D. Last week I did NOT call him on at least three occasions and I did NOT hang out with him and cuddle on at least two. I certainly did NOT cry over him; I did NOT. I do NOT get jealous at the thought of him dating other girls.
And the biggest thing that I did NOT do last week was NOT create a new blog wherein I do NOT write as an Amish woman who did NOT use her egg money to buy a laptop to NOT hide out in the barn and NOT blog during milking hours. This blog is NOT a fictional blog and the link is NOT on the right-hand side of my blog and you should NOT totally check it out!
I am NOT slightly crazy and I know that you all do NOT wish you were me!
So... what did you NOT do last week?