The problem? Over the years, I had 3 babies. Was on birth control. Off birth control. On hormones. Off hormones. On more meds. Off meds. Switched meds. Surgery #1. Back on Hormones. Surgery #2. Switched Hormones. Over the course of 12 years gained an average of 6 lbs per year.
Ok - so last spring I started making "life changes" regarding my health, specifically with diet & exercise. I lost 39 lbs in about 4 months. I felt great. I was more confident than before.
Then something happened. Vacation. Camping. More of a Social Life. Then something else happened. The weather got cold. I stopped my outdoor exercise because it got cold. Then something else happened again. The holidays arrived.
So, after 4 months of progressing towards my goal, the scale started tipping back the other way.
Proof: Here is me in college, before I got married. Not Fat.
Proof: Here is me at 110 lbs a week before my wedding. Not Fat. I wanted to lose 10 lbs. So I did slim fast for a week. Ok - try to get past the floral leggings and my roommates fanny pack.
Proof: See - here is me when I was pregnant with my first. Still Not fat. Tired looking, yes. But not fat.
Proof: Fast Forward past all of the pregnancies, illnesses, surgeries, pain killers, and hormone pills and injections. I can see the fat in my cheeks. Me No Like.
So - last January I got divorced. It was a start in the right direction (an immediate loss of 150 lbs - hahaha!). I wanted to take my life back and focus on me. I started walking. Then I did running. Well - I walked up the hills or mountains and ran on the down slopes. Anyway. I felt great. I was drinking tons of water and rarely ate sugar.
Proof: here is me (well, a head shot, anyway) after losing 39 pounds. I was more than 70% towards my goal weight. I knew I still had some pounds to go. But I liked that I could see my chin and my cheekbones. And I liked that I could shop in the "regular" women's section.
Proof: This is where I started gaining it back...
Proof: Chipmunk Cheeks...
Proof: I think it came out of my cheeks first.
So - here I am, putting my BMI and my weight loss progress BACK on my Blog. I am going to stay focused. I am determined. I realize that at my age and with my past illnesses/surgeries the cards are stacked against me. And I know that I will never be that 120 lb girl like in college. However, I gotta get back to where I can shop in the "normal" section again.
Funny that when I dream at night, I am usually in my early 20's. Usually in college. I think it is because that was the last time I was thin. That is the last time I was "okay" with my body. I feel thin on the inside for the most part. I am not a sedentary person. I can bend over and tie my own shoes. I can still paint my toe nails. I don't feel "fat" until I see myself in the mirror or my reflection in the window. I feel like I'm really a skinny person, trapped in a fat lady's body.
Help, I've fattened and I wanna get out!
It's my hope that I can lose before summer hits. I wanna be my own Biggest Loser. I will definitely post an "after" pic too!
What about you? What helps you stay on track? What/Who motivates you?