Monday, July 28, 2008

Saucy & Bossy

sau·cy 1. impertinent; insolent: a saucy remark; 2. pert; boldly smart
boss·y given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.

A few weeks ago, the copy guys came into our office to swap out our copier for another one. CopyGuy1 was on the floor on his back, trying to hook something up. He asked CopyGuy2 for some assistance. CopyGuy2 grabs a tool and responds, as he is handing it over, "Don't move -- I'm gonna straddle you." I quickly gibe, "That's what she said!", implementing skills picked up from one of my favorite shows, "The Office". The two copy guys bust out into laughter. CopyGuy2 realizes he should have said, "I'm gonna STEP OVER you" - not "straddle". Being in their 20's, they thought it was pretty funny. BossMan on the other hand, tells them they have his permission to slap me if i get too "saucy".

It's true, I have been told lately that I am a little saucy. I have even felt a little saucy too. In fact, on my MSN Messenger, I changed my status to read, "Emma is feeling saucy!" I was sitting at my desk at work when I get an Instant Message from my 8 year old daughter. Here is the dialogue...

PrettyPrettyPrincess says: ok i have a question
emma says: ?
PrettyPrettyPrincess says: what does "mommie is feeling saucy!" mean???????????
PrettyPrettyPrincess says:well???? what does it mean?
emma says: y'know how mommy is obsessed with john mayer? that is me being saucy
PrettyPrettyPrincess says: oh wait you love him??????????
emma says: hahaha. not love as in real love. just obsessive love. hahahahaha

PrettyPrettyPrincess says: oh ewww!!!! U R Weird!

I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised when my own kids turn a little saucy themselves, seeing as the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. The other day while I was at work, I get an IM - this time from FunnyMan. Again - here is the dialogue...

FunnyMan says: mom can out hang out at a friends house?
emma says: what friend and what time and for how long?
FunnyMan says: Doug - the Indian
emma says: nice. how politically correct.

FunnyMan says: lol
emma says: again - what time?
FunnyMan says: around 3:30
emma says: what time will you be home?

FunnyMan says: i'm a teenager - I don't know

I suppose it is some sort of sweet justice to have kids as clever and smart as I like to think I am. Part of my new saucy attitude has brought out a little bit of bossiness in me too. I know what you're thinking, "Who? Emma? Bossy?" Let me just say in my defense, that I am not the same bossy kid who instructed her siblings on which color Flintstones Vitamin they would be permitted to partake of.

It's more of a new-found self-confidence. It's like - I know what I want, so I am just going to go for it. Well, perhaps, it's not really a New-found self-confidence, but rather a Re-Discovered self-confidence. Yes. That's it; re-discovered. That is a better term for it.

Case in point...

Big-D and I had been emailing back and forth. I could tell he was a bit shy. After about 4 emails, I decided that enough was enough - and that I needed to prod this horse along if I was ever gonna get to ride him (I know, I know - "that's what she said"). I wanted to have a real conversation. So - I BOLDLY tell him, "here is my number if you ever want to call". In turn, he gave me his number - maybe he felt obligated or something. Anyway, do you think he called? No! Apparently, he was still in shock over my saucy ways. We did however, share a few bantering texts back and forth, but just a few. I finally send him a text, something to the effect of "so do you wanna hang out sometime or what?" He replies, "what did you have in mind?" That conversation set in motion our plans for the weekend.

I still needed to talk to him over the phone before meeting him - one of my Prospecting Policies. So, I called him up the day before we were supposed to meet. The call went to voice mail. Laughing, I say, "Mission Accomplished. Just wanted to hear your voice and make sure you weren't a 'High-Talker'. Call me later." He calls me back a few hours later and we both laugh over my earlier obnoxious message.

We decide that we are going to cook, or actually he is going to cook me dinner. So we are at his house cooking, talking and laughing, and soon I say something like, "it's a little hot in here". Immediately he goes over to the thermostat and turns it down. As he is walking back, he sort of pauses, smiles, and shakes his head. "What?" I asked. He then tells me how he has just become the sort of man Jeff Foxworthy jokes about all the time.

"Men, if you have a wife, a girlfriend, or a daughter, you are being trained. And just cause they aren't doing it with a cattle prod does not mean it isn't working. I'll tell you when I first realized I was being trained. I've been married to a wonderful woman for seventeen years; it was about year five when I realized it. We were lying in bed reading, when she just says, "I'm hot." And I closed *my* book. Got out of bed. Went over to the wall, and turned the ceiling fan. I got about halfway back before, whoa! [bewildered expression on face]" - Jeff Foxworthy

But wait - that's not all! I have also said things like, "Gee, I'm thirsty" and "Where did I put my cell phone?" only to have been met with the appropriate items; a cold glass of water and my cell phone. And each time Big-D complies, he shakes his head and laughs.

The other day, he looks at me and says, "you're a little bossy, y'know that?" I explain that I don't try to be - and I didn't FORCE him to retrieve my water or my phone or turn the air on. He knows, he says. Plus - he thinks it's "cute". Awwwww.....good answer, Big-D.

There was also the time that my neck was killing me, and I needed it rubbed. I simply placed his hand on my neck. "Oh - you want me to rub your neck, do you?" Of course, all he needed was one saucy smile from me to know that answer. You're a keeper Big-D! (And the fact that he comes already trained is a plus.) He in turn said he could tell I was gonna be a handful. As my dad would say to Big-D, "you ain't seen nothin' yet."

So yes, I may be a bit bossy at times, and yes I may be a bit saucy. However, I like to think of myself as "nice-bossy" - not mean. Plus, I think some people were just born to be bossy or bosses or leaders. Let's see, what's that favorite quote of mine??? Oh yeah, "The best part about teamwork is when everyone else does what I say". Hahahaha. And as far as being saucy... well, what can I say? It gets me results. "The Secret's In The Sauce", after all, isn't it?


Ruthykins said...

this big d guys sounds cool. i like this story so much that i will disregard your dangling participle. hahaha

kanaboke said...

Hey Saucy Big D the same as Computer Dude? I'm so lost..I'm sooooo me and get me "found" up...hehehehe!

EmmaP said...

Yes. Big-D has been upgraded from Computer Guy (noted in "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Parenthood"). I know,'s hard to keep up. How do you think I lost my mind???

kanaboke said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha! aaaHahahahahaha! Aaaaaaah! Bwahahahahaha! I can't stop laughing! You are one of the funniest person's TO WALK THE EARTH!!

ciciray said...

From one bossy person to another...I salute you!!! :)

greenolive said...

You just wouldn't be the person we all know and love if you lost your sauciness or your bossiness. Not to mention your flossiness. And you're right. There is a mean bossy and a nice bossy as well as an over the top saucy and a sweet saucy. You've got the right mix and hopefully people like Big D and others can see you've got it going on.

tinabean1988 said...

I'm a little Bossy & Saucy to.
In fact I think that's how I got Jer!!!
You sound a lot like me.
I don't just wait around for something I want to happen, I make it happen.

Puphigirl said...

While reading about you being 'saucy' I remembered our chemistry class when Mr. Noble meant to call Emily sassypants, but accidentally called her saucypants.